the life of charlotte bronte-1-第37节

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ed；　intolerant；　and　wholly　unjustifiable　on　the　ground　of　common　sense。　　My　conscience　will　not　let　me　be　either　a　Puseyite　or　a　Hookist；　MAIS；　if　I　were　a　Dissenter；　I　would　have　taken　the　first　opportunity　of　kicking；　or　of　horse…whipping　both　the　gentlemen　for　their　stern；　bitter　attack　on　my　religion　and　its　teachers。　　But　in　spite　of　all　this；　I　admired　the　noble　integrity　which　could　dictate　so　fearless　an　opposition　against　so　strong　an　antagonist。

〃P。S。Mr。　W。　has　given　another　lecture　at　the　Keighley　Mechanics'　Institution；　and　papa　has　also　given　a　lecture；　both　are　spoken　of　very　highly　in　the　newspapers；　and　it　is　mentioned　as　a　matter　of　wonder　that　such　displays　of　intellect　should　emanate　from　the　village　of　Haworth；　'situated　among　the　bogs　and　mountains；　and；　until　very　lately；　supposed　to　be　in　a　state　of　semi…barbarism。'　Such　are　the　words　of　the　newspaper。〃


To　fill　up　the　account　of　this　outwardly　eventless　year；　I　may　add　a　few　more　extracts　from　the　letters　entrusted　to　me。


〃May　15th；　1840。

〃Do　not　be　over…persuaded　to　marry　a　man　you　can　never　respectI　do　not　say　LOVE；　because；　I　think；　if　you　can　respect　a　person　before　marriage；　moderate　love　at　least　will　come　after；　and　as　to　intense　PASSION；　I　am　convinced　that　that　is　no　desirable　feeling。　In　the　first　place；　it　seldom　or　never　meets　with　a　requital；　and；　in　the　second　place；　if　it　did；　the　feeling　would　be　only　temporary：　　it　would　last　the　honeymoon；　and　then；　perhaps；　give　place　to　disgust；　or　indifference；　worse；　perhaps；　than　disgust。　Certainly　this　would　be　the　case　on　the　man's　part；　and　on　the　woman'sGod　help　her；　if　she　is　left　to　love　passionately　and　alone。

〃I　am　tolerably　well　convinced　that　I　shall　never　marry　at　all。　Reason　tells　me　so；　and　I　am　not　so　utterly　the　slave　of　feeling　but　that　I　can　OCCASIONALLY　HEAR　her　voice。〃

〃June　2nd；　1840。

〃M。　is　not　yet　come　to　Haworth；　but　she　is　to　come　on　the　condition　that　I　first　go　and　stay　a　few　days　there。　　If　all　be　well；　I　shall　go　next　Wednesday。　　I　may　stay　at　G…　until　Friday　or　Saturday；　and　the　early　part　of　the　following　week　I　shall　pass　with　you；　if　you　will　have　mewhich　last　sentence　indeed　is　nonsense；　for　as　I　shall　be　glad　to　see　you；　so　I　know　you　will　be　glad　to　see　me。　　This　arrangement　will　not　allow　much　time；　but　it　is　the　only　practicable　one　which；　considering　all　the　circumstances；　I　can　effect。　　Do　not　urge　me　to　stay　more　than　two　or　three　days；　because　I　shall　be　obliged　to　refuse　you。　　I　intend　to　walk　to　Keighley；　there　to　take　the　coach　as　far　as　B…；　then　to　get　some　one　to　carry　my　box；　and　to　walk　the　rest　of　the　way　to　G…。　　If　I　manage　this；　I　think　I　shall　contrive　very　well。　　I　shall　reach　B。　by　about　five　o'clock；　and　then　I　shall　have　the　cool　of　the　evening　for　the　walk。　　I　have　communicated　the　whole　arrangement　to　M。　　I　desire　exceedingly　to　see　both　her　and　you。　Good…bye。

C。　B。　C。　B。　C。　B。　C。　B。

〃If　you　have　any　better　plan　to　suggest　I　am　open　to　conviction；　provided　your　plan　is　practicable。〃

〃August　20th；　1840。

〃Have　you　seen　anything　of　Miss　H。　lately？　　I　wish　they；　or　somebody　else；　would　get　me　a　situation。　　I　have　answered　advertisements　without　number；　but　my　applications　have　met　with　no　success。

〃I　have　got　another　bale　of　French　books　from　G。　containing　upwards　of　forty　volumes。　　I　have　read　about　half。　　They　are　like　the　rest；　clever；　wicked；　sophistical；　and　immoral。　　The　best　of　it　is；　they　give　one　a　thorough　idea　of　France　and　Paris；　and　are　the　best　substitute　for　French　conversation　that　I　have　met　with。

〃I　positively　have　nothing　more　to　say　to　you；　for　I　am　in　a　stupid　humour。　　You　must　excuse　this　letter　not　being　quite　as　long　as　your　own。　　I　have　written　to　you　soon；　that　you　might　not　look　after　the　postman　in　vain。　　Preserve　this　writing　as　a　curiosity　in　caligraphyI　think　it　is　exquisiteall　brilliant　black　blots；　and　utterly　illegible　letters。　　〃CALIBAN。〃


〃'The　wind　bloweth　where　it　listeth。　　Thou　hearest　the　sound　thereof；　but　canst　not　tell　whence　it　cometh；　nor　whither　it　goeth。'　　That；　I　believe；　is　Scripture；　though　in　what　chapter　or　book；　or　whether　it　be　correctly　quoted；　I　can't　possibly　say。　However；　it　behoves　me　to　write　a　letter　to　a　young　woman　of　the　name　of　E。；　with　whom　I　was　once　acquainted；　'in　life's　morning　march；　when　my　spirit　was　young。'　　This　young　woman　wished　me　to　write　to　her　some　time　since；　though　I　have　nothing　to　sayI　e'en　put　it　off；　day　by　day；　till　at　last；　fearing　that　she　will　'curse　me　by　her　gods；'　I　feel　constrained　to　sit　down　and　tack　a　few　lines　together；　which　she　may　call　a　letter　or　not　as　she　pleases。　Now　if　the　young　woman　expects　sense　in　this　production；　she　will　find　herself　miserably　disappointed。　　I　shall　dress　her　a　dish　of　salmagundiI　shall　cook　a　hashcompound　a　stewtoss　up　an　OMELETTE　SOUFFLEE　E　LA　FRANCAISE；　and　send　it　her　with　my　respects。　　The　wind；　which　is　very　high　up　in　our　hills　of　Judea；　though；　I　suppose；　down　in　the　Philistine　flats　of　B。　parish　it　is　nothing　to　speak　of；　has　produced　the　same　effects　on　the　contents　of　my　knowledge…box　that　a　quaigh　of　usquebaugh　does　upon　those　of　most　other　bipeds。　　I　see　everything　COULEUR　DE　ROSE；　and　am　strongly　inclined　to　dance　a　jig；　if　I　knew　how。　　I　think　I　must　partake　of　the　nature　of　a　pig　or　an　assboth　which　animals　are　strongly　affected　by　a　high　wind。　　From　what　quarter　the　wind　blows　I　cannot　tell；　for　I　never　could　in　my　life；　but　I　should　very　much　like　to　know　how　the　great　brewing…tub　of　Bridlington　Bay　works；　and　what　sort　of　yeasty　froth　rises　just　now　on　the　waves。

〃A　woman　of　the　name　of　Mrs。　B。；　it　seems；　wants　a　teacher。　　I　wish　she　would　have　me；　and　I　have　written　to　Miss　W。　to　tell　her　so。　　Verily；　it　is　a　delightful　thing　to　live　here　at　home；　at　full　liberty　to　do　just　what　one　pleases。　　But　I　recollect　some　scrubby　old　fable　about　grasshoppers　and　ants；　by　a　scrubby　old　knave　yclept　AEsop；　the　grasshoppers　sang　all　the　summer；　and　starved　all　the　winter。

〃A　distant　relation　of　mine；　one　Patrick　Branwell；　has　set　off　to　seek　his　fortune　in　the　wild；　wandering；　adventurous；　romantic；　knight…errant…like　capacity　of　clerk　on　the　Leeds　and　Manchester　Railroad。　　Leeds　and　Manchesterwhere　are　they？　　Cities　in　the　wilderness；　like　Tadmor；　alias　Palmyraare　they　not？

〃There　is　one　little　trait　respecting　Mr。　W。　which　lately　came　to　my　knowledge；　which　gives　a　glimpse　of　the　better　side　of　his　character。　　Last　Saturday　night　he　had　been　sitting　an　hour　in　the　parlour　with　Papa；　and；　as　he　went　away；　I　heard　Papa　say　to　him　'What　is　the　matter　with　you？　　You　seem　in　very　low　spirits　to…　night。'　　'Oh；　I　don't　know。　　I've　been　to　see　a　poor　young　girl；　who；　I'm　afraid；　is　dying。'　　'Indeed；　what　is　her　name？'　　'Susan　Bland；　the　daughter　of　John　Bland；　the　superintendent。'　　Now　Susan　Bland　is　my　oldest　and　best　scholar　in　the　Sunday…school；　and；　when　I　heard　that；　I　thought　I　would　go　as　soon　as　I　could　to　see　her。　　I　did　go　on　Monday　afternoon；　and　found　her　on　her　way　to　that　'bourn　whence　no　traveller　returns。'　　After　sitting　with　her　some　time；　I　happened　to　ask　her　mother；　if　she　thought　a　little　port　wine　would　do　her　good。　　She　replied　that　the　doctor　had　recommended　it；　and　that　when　Mr。　W。　was　last　there；　he　had　brought　them　a　bottle　of　wine　and　jar　of　preserves。　　She　added；　that　he　was　always　good…natured　to　poor　folks；　and　seemed　to　have　a　deal　of　feeling　and　kind…heartedness　about　him。　　No　doubt；　there　are　defects　in　his　character；　but　there　are　also　good　qualities　。　。　。　God　bless　him！　　I　wonder　who；　with　his　advantages；　would　be　without　his　faults。　　I　know　many　of　his　faulty　actions；　many　of　his　weak　points；　yet；　where　I　am；　he　shall　always　find　rather　a　defender　than　an　accuser。　　To　be　sure；　my　opinion　will　go　but　a　very　little　way　to　decide　his　character；　what　of　that？　　People　should　do　right　as　far　as　their　ability　extends。　　You　are　not　to　suppose；　from　all　this；　that　Mr。　W。　and　I　are　on　very　amiable　terms；　we　are　not　at　all。　　We　are　distant；　cold；　and　reserved。　　We　seldom　speak；　and　when　we　do；　it　is　only　to　exchange　the　most　trivial　and　common…place　remarks。〃


The　Mrs。　B。　alluded　to　in　this　letter；　as　in　want　of　a　governess；　entered　into　a　correspondence　with　Miss　Bronte；　and　expressed　herself　much　pleased　with　the　letters　she　received　from　her；　with　the　〃style　and　candour　of　the　application；〃　in　which　Charlotte　had　taken　care　to　tell　her；　that　if　she　wanted　a　showy；　elegant；　or　fashionable　person；　her　correspondent　was　not　fitted　for　such　a　situation。　　But　Mrs。　B。　required　her　governess　to　give　instructions　in　music　and　singing；　for　which　Charlotte　was　not　qualified：　　and；　accordingly；　the　negotiation　fell　through。　　But　Miss　Bronte　was　not　one　to　sit　down　in　despair　after　disappointment。　　Much　as　she　disliked　the　life　of　a　private　governess；　it　was　her　duty　to　relieve　her　father　of　the　burden　of　her　support；　and　this　was　the　only　way　open　to　her。　　So　she　set　to　advertising　and　inquiring　with　fresh　vigour。

In　the　meantime；　a　little　occurrence　took　place；　described　in　one　of　her　letters；　which　I　shall　give；　as　it　shows　her　instinctive　aversion　to　a　particular　class　of　men；　whose　vices　some　have　supposed　she　looked　upon　with　indulgence。　　The