for the term of his natural life-第102节

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〃Go　on；〃　said　he　impatiently。　　〃What　then？〃

〃Then；　having　settled　these　little　preliminaries；　you　take　me　up　to　London　and　introduce　me　to　your　relatives　and　friends。〃

He　started。　　〃A　bold　game。〃

〃Bold！　　Nonsense！　The　only　safe　one。　　People　don't；　as　a　rule；　suspect　unless　one　is　mysterious。　　You　must　do　it；　I　have　arranged　for　your　doing　it。　The　waiters　here　all　know　me　as　your　wife。　　There　is　not　the　least　danger　unless；　indeed；　you　are　married　already？〃　she　added；　with　a　quick　and　angry　suspicion。

〃You　need　not　be　alarmed。　　I　was　not　such　a　fool　as　to　marry　another　woman　while　you　were　alivehad　I　even　seen　one　I　would　have　cared　to　marry。　But　what　of　Lady　Devine？　　You　say　you　have　told　her。〃

〃I　have　told　her　to　communicate　with　Mrs。　Carr；　Post　Office；　Torquay；　in　order　to　hear　something　to　her　advantage。　　If　you　had　been　rebellious；　John；　the　'something'　would　have　been　a　letter　from　me　telling　her　who　you　really　are。　　Now　you　have　proved　obedient；　the　'something'　will　be　a　begging　letter　of　a　sort　which　she　has　already　received　hundreds；　and　which　in　all　probability　she　will　not　even　answer。　　What　do　you　think　of　that；　Mr。　Richard　Devine？〃

〃You　deserve　success；　Sarah；〃　said　the　old　schemer；　in　genuine　admiration。　〃By　Jove；　this　is　something　like　the　old　days；　when　we　were　Mr。　and　Mrs。　Crofton。〃

〃Or　Mr。　and　Mrs。　Skinner；　eh；　John？〃　she　said；　with　as　much　tenderness　in　her　voice　as　though　she　had　been　a　virtuous　matron　recalling　her　honeymoon。　〃That　was　an　unlucky　name；　wasn't　it；　dear？　　You　should　have　taken　my　advice　there。〃　And　immersed　in　recollection　of　their　past　rogueries；　the　worthy　pair　pensively　smiled。　　Rex　was　the　first　to　awake　from　that　pleasant　reverie。

〃I　will　be　guided　by　you；　then；〃　he　said。　　〃What　next？〃

〃Nextfor；　as　you　say；　my　presence　doubles　the　dangerwe　will　contrive　to　withdraw　quietly　from　England。　　The　introduction　　to　your　mother　over；　and　Mr。　Francis　disposed　of；　we　will　go　to　Hampstead；　and　live　there　for　a　while。　　During　that　time　you　must　turn　into　cash　as　much　property　as　you　dare。　　We　will　then　go　abroad　for　the　'season'and　stop　there。　After　a　year　or　so　on　the　Continent　you　can　write　to　our　agent　to　sell　more　property；　and；　finally；　when　we　are　regarded　as　permanent　absentees　and　three　or　four　years　will　bring　that　aboutwe　will　get　rid　of　everything；　and　slip　over　to　America。　　Then　you　can　endow　a　charity　if　you　like；　or　build　a　church　to　the　memory　of　the　man　you　have　displaced。〃

John　Rex　burst　into　a　laugh。　　〃An　excellent　plan。　　I　like　the　idea　of　the　charitythe　Devine　Hospital；　eh？〃

〃By　the　way；　how　did　you　find　out　the　particulars　of　this　man's　life。　He　was　burned　in　the　Hydaspes；　wasn't　he？〃

〃No；〃　said　Rex；　with　an　air　of　pride。　　〃He　was　transported　in　the　Malabar　under　the　name　of　Rufus　Dawes。　　You　remember　him。　　It　is　a　long　story。　The　particulars　weren't　numerous；　and　if　the　old　lady　had　been　half　sharp　she　would　have　bowled　me　out。　　But　the　fact　was　she　wanted　to　find　the　fellow　alive；　and　was　willing　to　take　a　good　deal　on　trust。　　I'll　tell　you　all　about　it　another　time。　　I　think　I'll　go　to　bed　now；　I'm　tired；　and　my　head　aches　as　though　it　would　split。〃

〃Then　it　is　decided　that　you　follow　my　directions？〃

〃Yes。〃

She　rose　and　placed　her　hand　on　the　bell。　　〃What　are　you　going　to　do？〃　he　said　uneasily。

〃I　am　going　to　do　nothing。　　You　are　going　to　telegraph　to　your　servants　to　have　the　house　in　London　prepared　for　your　wife；　who　will　return　with　you　the　day　after　to…morrow。〃

John　Rex　stayed　her　hand　with　a　sudden　angry　gesture。　　〃This　is　all　devilish　fine；〃　he　said；　〃but　suppose　it　fails？〃

〃That　is　your　affair；　John。　　You　need　not　go　on　with　this　business　at　all；　unless　you　like。　　I　had　rather　you　didn't。〃

〃What　the　deuce　am　I　to　do；　then？〃

〃I　am　not　as　rich　as　you　are；　but；　with　my　station　and　so　on；　I　am　worth　seven　thousand　a　year。　　Come　back　to　Australia　with　me；　and　let　these　poor　people　enjoy　their　own　again。　　Ah；　John；　it　is　the　best　thing　to　do；　believe　me。　　We　can　afford　to　be　honest　now。〃

〃A　fine　scheme！〃　cried　he。　　〃Give　up　half　a　million　of　money；　and　go　back　to　Australia！　You　must　be　mad！〃

〃Then　telegraph。〃

〃But；　my　dear〃

〃Hush；　here's　the　waiter。〃

As　he　wrote；　John　Rex　felt　gloomily　that；　though　he　had　succeeded　in　recalling　her　affection；　that　affection　was　as　imperious　as　of　yore。　　




CHAPTER　XI。

EXTRACTED　FROM　THE　DIARY　OF　THE　REV。　JAMES　NORTH。



December　7th。I　have　made　up　my　mind　to　leave　this　place；　to　bury　myself　again　in　the　bush；　I　suppose；　and　await　extinction。　　I　try　to　think　that　the　reason　for　this　determination　is　the　frightful　condition　of　misery　existing　among　the　prisoners；　that　because　I　am　daily　horrified　and　sickened　by　scenes　of　torture　and　infamy；　I　decide　to　go　away；　that；　feeling　myself　powerless　to　save　others；　I　wish　to　spare　myself。　　But　in　this　journal；　in　which　I　bind　myself　to　write　nothing　but　truth；　I　am　forced　to　confess　that　these　are　not　the　reasons。　　I　will　write　the　reason　plainly：　〃I　covet　my　neighbour's　wife。〃　It　does　not　look　well　thus　written。　It　looks　hideous。　　In　my　own　breast　I　find　numberless　excuses　for　my　passion。　I　said　to　myself；　〃My　neighbour　does　not　love　his　wife；　and　her　unloved　life　is　misery。　　She　is　forced　to　live　in　the　frightful　seclusion　of　this　accursed　island；　and　she　is　dying　for　want　of　companionship。　She　feels　that　I　understand　and　appreciate　her；　that　I　could　love　her　as　she　deserves；　that　I　could　render　her　happy。　　I　feel　that　I　have　met　the　only　woman　who　has　power　to　touch　my　heart；　to　hold　me　back　from　the　ruin　into　which　I　am　about　to　plunge；　to　make　me　useful　to　my　fellowsa　man；　and　not　a　drunkard。〃　Whispering　these　conclusions　to　myself；　I　am　urged　to　brave　public　opinion；　and　make　two　lives　happy。　　I　say　to　myself；　or　rather　my　desires　say　to　me〃What　sin　is　there　in　this？　Adultery？　No；　for　a　marriage　without　love　is　the　coarsest　of　all　adulteries。　What　tie　binds　a　man　and　woman　togetherthat　formula　of　license　pronounced　by　the　priest；　which　the　law　has　recognized　as　a　'legal　bond'？　Surely　not　this　only；　for　marriage　is　but　a　partnershipa　contract　of　mutual　fidelityand　in　all　contracts　the　violation　of　the　terms　of　the　agreement　by　one　of　　the　contracting　persons　absolves　the　other。　Mrs。　Frere　is　then　absolved；　by　her　husband's　act。　　I　cannot　but　think　so。　But　is　she　willing　to　risk　the　shame　of　divorce　or　legal　offence？　Perhaps。　Is　she　fitted　by　temperament　to　bear　such　a　burden　of　contumely　as　must　needs　fall　upon　her？　Will　she　not　feel　disgust　at　the　man　who　entrapped　her　into　shame？　Do　not　the　comforts　which　surround　her　compensate　for　the　lack　of　affections？〃　　And　so　the　torturing　catechism　continues；　until　I　am　driven　mad　with　doubt；　love；　and　despair。

Of　course　I　am　wrong；　of　course　I　outrage　my　character　as　a　priest；　of　course　I　endangeraccording　to　the　creed　I　teachmy　soul　and　hers。　But　priests；　unluckily；　have　hearts　and　passions　as　well　as　other　men。　Thank　God；　as　yet；　I　have　never　expressed　my　madness　in　words。　What　a　fate　is　mine！　When　I　am　in　her　presence　I　am　in　torment；　when　I　am　absent　from　her　my　imagination　pictures　her　surrounded　by　a　thousand　graces　that　are　not　hers；　but　belong　to　all　the　women　of　my　dreamsto　Helen；　to　Juliet；　to　Rosalind。　　Fools　that　we　are　of　our　own　senses！　When　I　think　of　her　I　blush；　when　I　hear　her　name　my　heart　leaps；　and　I　grow　pale。　　Love！　What　is　the　love　of　two　pure　souls；　scarce　conscious　of　the　Paradise　into　which　they　have　fallen；　to　this　maddening　delirium？　I　can　understand　the　poison　of　Circe's　cup；　it　is　the　sweet…torment　of　a　forbidden　love　like　mine！　　Away　gross　materialism；　in　which　I　have　so　long　schooled　myself！　I；　who　laughed　at　passion　as　the　outcome　of　temperament　and　easy　livingI；　who　thought　in　my　intellect；　to　sound　all　the　depths　and　shoals　of　human　feelingI；　who　analysed　my　own　soulscoffed　at　my　own　yearnings　for　an　immortalityam　forced　to　deify　the　senseless　power　of　my　creed；　and　believe　in　God；　that　I　may　pray　to　Him。　　I　know　now　why　men　reject　the　cold　impersonality　that　reason　tells　us　rules　the　worldit　is　because　they　love。　　To　die；　and　be　no　more；　to　die；　and　rendered　into　dust；　be　blown　about　the　earth；　to　die　and　leave　our　love　defenceless　and　forlorn；　till　the　bright　soul　that　smiled　to　ours　is　smothered　in　the　earth　that　made　it！　　No！　　To　love　is　life　eternal。　　God；　I　believe　in　Thee！　　Aid　me！　　Pity　me！　　Sinful　wretch　that　I　am；　to　have　denied　Thee！　　See　me　on　my　knees　before　Thee！　　Pity　me；　or　let　me　die！

December　9th。I　have　been　visiting　the　two　condemned　prisoners；　Dawes　and　Bland；　and　praying　with　them。　　O　Lord；　let　me　save　one　soul　that　may　plead　with　Thee　for　mine！　　Let　　me　draw　one　being　alive　out　of　this　pit！　　I　weepI　weary　Thee　with　my　prayers；　O　Lord！　Look　down　upon　me。　　Grant　me　a　sign。　　Thou　didst　it　in　old　times　to　men　who　were　not　more　fervent　in　their　supplications　than　am　I。　　So　says　Thy　Book。　Thy　Book　which　I　believewhich　I　believe。　　Grant　me　a　signone　little　sign；　O　Lord！I　will　not　see　her。　　I　have　sworn　it。　　Thou　knowest　my　grief　my　agonymy　despair。　　Thou　knowest　why　I　love　her。　　Thou　knowest　how　I　strive　to　make　her　hate　me。　　Is　that　not　a　sacrifice？　　I　am　so　lonely　a　lonely　man；　with　but　one　creature　that　he　lovesyet