the pursuit of the house-boat-第14节

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s　no　use　for　fighting　in　the　wet　and　coming　out　of　the　fight　conspicuous　as　a　victor　with　the　curl　out　of　his　feathers　and　his　epaulets　rusted　with　the　damp。　　There　is　no　glory　in　water。　　But　if　we　had　had　umbrellas　and　mackintoshes；　as　every　Englishman　who　comes　to　the　Continent　always　has；　and　a　bath…　tub　for　everybody；　then　would　your　Waterloo　have　been　different　again；　and　the　great　democracy　of　Europe　with　a　Bonaparte　for　emperor　would　have　been　founded　for　what　the　Americans　call　the　keeps；　and　as　for　your　little　Great　Britain；　ha！　she　would　have　become　the　Blackwell's　Island　of　the　Greater　France。〃

〃You're　almost　as　funny　as　Punch　isn't；〃　drawled　Wellington；　with　an　angry　gesture　at　Bonaparte。　　〃You　weren't　within　telephoning　distance　of　victory　all　day。　　We　simply　played　with　you；　my　boy。　　It　was　a　regular　game　of　golf　for　us。　　We　let　you　keep　up　pretty　close　and　win　a　few　holes；　but　on　the　home　drive　we　had　you　beaten　in　one　stroke。　Go　to；　my　dear　Bonaparte；　and　stop　talking　about　the　flood。〃

〃It's　a　lucky　thing　for　us　that　Noah　wasn't　a　Frenchman；　eh？〃　said　Frederick　the　Great。　　〃How　that　rain　would　have　fazed　him　if　he　had　been！　　The　human　race　would　have　been　wiped　out。〃

〃Oh；　pshaw！〃　ejaculated　Noah；　deprecating　the　unseemliness　of　the　quarrel；　and　putting　his　arm　affectionately　about　Bonaparte's　shoulder。　　〃When　you　come　down　to　that；　I　was　Frenchas　French　as　one　could　be　in　those　daysand　these　Gallic　subjects　of　my　friend　here　were；　every　one　of　'em；　my　lineal　descendants；　and　their　hatred　of　rain　was　inherited　directly　from　me；　their　ancestor。〃

〃Are　not　we　English　as　much　your　descendants？〃　queried　Wellington；　arching　his　eyebrows。

〃You　are；〃　said　Noah；　〃but　you　take　after　Mrs。　Noah　more　than　after　me。　　Water　never　fazes　a　woman；　and　your　delight　in　tubs　is　an　essentially　feminine　trait。　　The　first　thing　Mrs。　Noah　carried　aboard　was　a　laundry　outfit；　and　then　she　went　back　for　rugs　and　coats　and　all　sorts　of　hand…baggage。　　Gad；　it　makes　me　laugh　to　this　day　when　I　think　of　it！　　She　looked　for　all　the　world　like　an　Englishman　travelling　on　the　Continent　as　she　walked　up　the　gang…plank　behind　the　elephants；　each　elephant　with　a　Gladstone　bag　in　his　trunk　and　a　hat…box　tied　to　his　tail。〃　　Here　the　venerable　old　weather…prophet　winked　at　Munchausen；　and　the　little　quarrel　which　had　been　imminent　passed　off　in　a　general　laugh。

〃Where's　Boswell？　　He　ought　to　get　that　anecdote；〃　said　Johnson。

〃I've　locked　him　up　in　the　library；〃　said　Holmes。　　〃He's　in　charge　of　the　log；　and　as　I　have　a　pretty　good　general　idea　as　to　what　is　about　to　happen；　I　have　mapped　out　a　skeleton　of　the　plot　and　set　him　to　work　writing　it　up。〃　　Here　the　detective　gave　a　sudden　start；　placed　his　hand　to　his　ear；　listened　intently　for　an　instant；　and；　taking　out　his　watch　and　glancing　at　it；　added；　quietly；　〃In　three　minutes　Shem　will　be　in　here　to　announce　a　discovery；　and　one　of　great　importance；　I　judge；　from　the　squeak。〃

The　assemblage　gazed　earnestly　at　Holmes　for　a　moment。

〃The　squeak？〃　queried　Raleigh。

〃Precisely；〃　said　Holmes。　　〃The　squeak　is　what　I　said；　and　as　I　always　say　what　I　mean；　it　follows　logically　that　I　meant　what　I　said。〃

〃I　heard　no　squeak；〃　observed　Dr。　Johnson；　〃and；　furthermore；　I　fail　to　see　how　a　squeak；　if　I　had　heard　it；　would　have　portended　a　discovery　of　importance。〃

〃It　would　notto　you；〃　said　Holmes；　〃but　with　me　it　is　different。　My　hearing　is　unusually　acute。　　I　can　hear　the　dropping　of　a　pin　through　a　stone　wall　ten　feet　thick；　any　sound　within　a　mile　of　my　eardrum　vibrates　thereon　with　an　intensity　which　would　surprise　you；　and　it　is　by　the　use　of　cocaine　that　I　have　acquired　this　wonderfully　acute　sense。　　A　property　which　dulls　the　senses　of　most　people　renders　mine　doubly　apprehensive；　therefore；　gentlemen；　while　to　you　there　was　no　auricular　disturbance；　to　me　there　was。　　I　heard　Shem　sliding　down　the　mast　a　minute　since。　　The　fact　that　he　slid　down　the　mast　instead　of　climbing　down　the　rigging　showed　that　he　was　in　great　haste；　therefore　he　must　have　something　to　communicate　of　great　importance。〃

〃Why　isn't　he　here　already；　then？　　It　wouldn't　take　him　two　minutes　to　get　from　the　deck　here；〃　asked　the　ever…auspicious　Le　Coq。

〃It　is　simple；〃　returned　Holmes；　calmly。　　〃If　you　will　go　yourself　and　slide　down　that　mast　you　will　see。　　Shem　has　stopped　for　a　little　witch…hazel　to　soothe　his　burns。　　It　is　no　cool　matter　sliding　down　a　mast　two　hundred　feet　in　height。〃

As　Sherlock　Holmes　spoke　the　door　burst　open　and　Shem　rushed　in。

〃A　signal　of　distress；　captain！〃　he　cried。

〃From　what　quarterto　larboard？〃　asked　Holmes。

〃No；〃　returned　Shem；　breathless。

〃Then　it　must　be　dead　ahead；〃　said　Holmes。

〃Why　not　to　starboard？〃　asked　Le　Coq；　dryly。

〃Because；〃　answered　Holmes；　confidently；　〃it　never　happens　so。　　If　you　had　ever　read　a　truly　exciting　sea…tale；　my　dear　Le　Coq；　you　would　have　known　that　interesting　things；　and　particularly　signals　of　distress；　are　never　seen　except　to　larboard　or　dead　ahead。〃

A　murmur　of　applause　greeted　this　retort；　and　Le　Coq　subsided。

〃The　nature　of　the　signal？〃　demanded　Holmes。

〃A　black　flag；　skull　and　cross…bones　down；　at　half…mast！〃　cried　Shem；　〃and　on　a　rock…bound　coast！〃

〃They're　marooned；　by　heavens！〃　shouted　Holmes；　springing　to　his　feet　and　rushing　to　the　deck；　where　he　was　joined　immediately　by　Sir　Walter；　Dr。　Johnson；　Bonaparte；　and　the　others。

〃Isn't　he　a　daisy？〃　whispered　Demosthenes　to　Diogenes　as　they　climbed　the　stairs。

〃He　is　more　than　that；　he's　a　blooming　orchid；〃　said　Diogenes；　with　intense　enthusiasm。　　〃I　think　I'll　get　my　X…ray　lantern　and　see　if　he's　honest。〃



CHAPTER　IX：　　CAPTAIN　KIDD　MEETS　WITH　AN　OBSTACLE



〃Excuse　me；　your　Majesty；〃　remarked　Helen　of　Troy　as　Cleopatra　accorded　permission　to　Captain　Kidd　to　speak；　〃I　have　not　been　introduced　to　this　gentleman　nor　has　he　been　presented　to　me；　and　I　really　cannot　consent　to　any　proceeding　so　irregular　as　this。　　I　do　not　speak　to　gentlemen　I　have　not　met；　nor　do　I　permit　them　to　address　me。〃

〃Hear；　hear！〃　cried　Xanthippe。　　〃I　quite　agree　with　the　principle　of　my　young　friend　from　Troy。　　It　may　be　that　when　we　claimed　for　ourselves　all　the　rights　of　men　that　the　right　to　speak　and　be　spoken　to　by　other　men　without　an　introduction　will　included　in　the　list；　but　I　for　one　have　no　desire　to　avail　myself　of　the　privilege；　especially　when　it's　a　horrid…looking　man　like　this。〃

Kidd　bowed　politely；　and　smiled　so　terribly　that　several　of　the　ladies　fainted。

〃I　will　withdraw；〃　he　said；　turning　to　Cleopatra；　and　it　must　be　said　that　his　suggestion　was　prompted　by　his　heartfelt　wish；　for　now　that　he　found　himself　thus　conspicuously　brought　before　so　many　women；　with　falsehood　on　his　lips；　his　courage　began　to　ooze。

〃Not　yet；　please；〃　answered　the　chairlady。　　〃I　imagine　we　can　get　about　this　difficulty　without　much　trouble。〃

〃I　think　it　a　perfectly　proper　objection　too；〃　observed　Delilah；　rising。　　〃If　we　ever　needed　etiquette　we　need　it　now。　　But　I　have　a　plan　which　will　obviate　any　further　difficulty。　　If　there　is　no　one　among　us　who　is　sufficiently　well　acquainted　with　the　gentleman　to　present　him　formally　to　us；　I　will　for　the　time　being　take　upon　myself　the　office　of　ship's　barber　and　cut　his　hair。　　I　understand　that　it　is　quite　the　proper　thing　for　barbers　to　talk；　while　cutting　their　hair；　to　persons　to　whom　they　have　not　been　introduced。　　And；　besides；　he　really　needs　a　hair…cut　badly。　　Thus　I　shall　establish　an　acquaintance　with　the　captain；　after　which　I　can　with　propriety　introduce　him　to　the　rest　of　you。〃

〃Perhaps　the　gentleman　himself　might　object　to　that；〃　put　in　Queen　Elizabeth。　　〃If　I　remember　rightly；　your　last　customer　was　very　much　dissatisfied　with　the　trim　you　gave　him。〃

〃It　will　be　unnecessary　to　do　what　Delilah　proposes；〃　said　Mrs。　Noah；　with　a　kindly　smile；　as　she　rose　up　from　the　corner　in　which　she　had　been　sitting；　an　interested　listener。　　〃I　can　introduce　the　gentleman　to　you　all　with　perfect　propriety。　　He's　a　member　of　my　family。　　His　grandfather　was　the　great…grandson　a　thousand　and　eight　times　removed　of　my　son　Shem's　great…grandnephew　on　his　father's　side。　　His　relationship　to　me　is　therefore　obvious；　though　from　what　I　know　of　his　reputation　I　think　he　takes　more　after　my　husband's　ancestors　than　my　own。　　Willie；　dear；　these　ladies　are　friends　of　mine。　Ladies；　this　young　man　is　one　of　my　most　famous　descendants。　　He　has　been　a　man　of　many　adventures；　and　he　has　been　hanged　once；　which；　far　from　making　him　undesirable　as　an　acquaintance；　has　served　merely　to　render　him　harmless；　and　therefore　a　safe　person　to　know。　　Now；　my　son；　go　ahead　and　speak　your　piece。〃

The　good　old　spirit　sat　down；　and　the　scruples　of　the　objectors　having　thus　been　satisfied；　Captain　Kidd　began。

〃Now　that　I　know　you　all；〃　he　remarked；　as　pleasantly　as　he　could　under　the　circumstances；　〃I　feel　that　I　can　speak　more　freely；　and　certainly　with　a　great　deal　less　embarrassment　than　if　I　were　addressing　a　gathering　of　entire　strangers。　　I　am　not　much　of　a　hand　at　speaking；　and　have　always　felt　somewhat　nonplussed　at　finding　myself　in　a　position　of　this　nature。　　In　my　whole　career　I　never　experienced　but　one　irresistible　impulse　to　m