the prophet of berkeley square-第41节

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the　Palace？〃



〃The　Palace！　Do　you　mean　the　Crystal　Palace？〃



〃Of　Buckingham？　You　are　not　an　/amicas　curiae/？〃



〃I　fear　I　don't　catch　your　meaning。〃



〃Does　not　your　ladyship　comprehend　the　Latin　tongue？〃



〃Certainly　not；〃　said　Lady　Julia；　who　was　born　in　an　age　when　it　was

considered　highly　improper　for　a　young　female　to　have　any　dealings　with

the　ancients。　〃Certainly　not。〃



〃Dear　me！〃　said　Madame；　with　pitying　amazement。　〃You　hear　her　ladyship；

Jupiter？〃



〃I　do；　my　angel。　Madame　is　a　lady　of　deep　education；　ma'am；〃　said　Mr。

Sagittarius；　turning　to　Mrs。　Merillia；　who　had　been　listening　to　the

foregoing　cross…examination　with　perpetually…increasing　horror。



〃No　decent　female　should　understand　Greek　or　Latin；〃　roared　Sir　Tiglath

at　this　point。　〃If　she　does　she's　sure　to　read　a　great　deal　that　she's

no　business　to　know　anything　about。〃



At　this　challenge　Madame's　bulging　brow　was　overcast　with　a　red　cloud。



〃I　beg　to　disagree；　sir；〃　she　exclaimed。　〃In　my　opinion　the　Georgics　of

Horatius；　Homer's　Idyls　and　the　satires　of　the　great　Juvenile〃



〃The　great　what？〃　bellowed　Sir　Tiglath。



〃The　great　Juvenile；　sir。〃



〃There　never　was　a　great　juvenile；　ma'am。　Talent　must　be　mellow　before

it　is　worth　tasting；　whatever　the　modern　whipper…snapper　may　say。　There

never　was；　and　there　never　will　be；　a　great　juvenilethere　can　only　be

a　juvenile　preparing　to　be　great。〃



〃Really；　sir。〃



〃I　affirm　it；　madam。　And　as　you　seem　so　mighty　fond　of　Latin；　remember

what　Horace　says/Qui　cupit　opatam　cursu　contingere　metam；　Multa　tulit

fecitque　puer；　sudavit　et　alsit/。　Oh…h…h…h！〃



And　Sir　Tiglath　flung　himself　back　in　his　chair；　puffing　out　his

enormous　cheeks　and　wagging　his　gigantic　head　at　Madame　who；　for　once

in　her　life；　seemed　entirely　at　a　loss；　and　unable　to　call　to　her

assistance　a　single　shred　of　learning　from　the　library　of　Dr。　Carter。



Having　at　last　emerged　from　his　Epicurean　silence；　the　astronomer　now

proceeded　to　take　the　floor。　Satisfied　that　he　had　laid　a　presuming

female　low；　he　swung　round；　as　if　on　a　pivot；　to　where　Mr。　Sagittarius

was　sitting　in　the　greatest　agitation；　and　roared；



〃And　now；　sir　what　is　all　this　about　your　being　an　outside　broker？　I

was　distinctly　informed　by　this　gentleman　only　a　night　or　two　ago　that

you　were　a　distinguished　astronomer。〃



〃I　am　betrayed！〃　cried　Mr。　Sagittarius；　dropping　the　knife　and　fork

which　he　had　just　picked　up　for　the　dissection　of　a　lobster　croquette。

〃I　said　this　was　a　trap。　I　said　it　was　a　rat…trap　from　the　first。〃



〃I　knew　he　must　be　a　ratcatcher；〃　whispered　Lady　Julia　to　the　Prophet；

who　was　about　to　rise　from　his　seat　and　endeavour　to　calm　his　guest。　〃I

was　certain　no　one　but　a　ratcatcher　could　talk　in　such　a　manner。〃



〃He　is　not　indeed！　Mr。　Sagittarius；　pray　sit　down！　You　are　alarming　my

grandmother。〃



〃I　can't　help　that；　sir。　I　am　not　going　to　sit　here；　sir；　and　be

slain。〃



〃Tsh！　Tsh！　I　merely　informed　Sir　Tiglath　the　other　evening　that　what

Miss　Minerva　had　told　him　about　you　was　true。〃



〃Miss　Minerva！〃　cried　Madame；　glancing　at　her　husband　in　a　most

terrible　manner。　〃Miss　Minerva！〃



〃Lady　Enid　Thistle；　I　mean；〃　cried　the　Prophet；　mentally　cursing　the

day　when　he　was　born。



〃Who's　that？〃　exclaimed　Madame；　beginning　to　look　almost　exactly　like

Medusa。



〃A　young　female　who　informed　the　old　astronomer　that　your　husband　and

an　elderly　female　named　Mrs。　Bridgeman　had　for　a　long　while　been

carrying　on　astronomical　investigations　together〃



〃Carrying　on　together！〃　vociferated　Madame。　〃Jupiter！〃



〃And　that　they　had　come　to　the　conclusion　that　there　was　probably

oxygen　in　certain　of　the　holy　fixed　stars。　Oxygen；　so　the　elderly

female〃



〃Oxygen　in　an　elderly　female！〃　cried　Madame；　in　the　greatest

excitement。　〃Jupiter；　is　this　true？〃



Mr。　Sagittarius　was　about　to　bring　forward　a　flat　denial　when　the

Prophet；　leaning　behind　the　terrified　back　of　Lady　Julia；　hissed　in　his

ear；



〃Say　yes；　or　he'll　find　out　who　you　really　are！〃



〃Yes；〃　cried　Mr。　Sagittarius；　in　a　catapultic　manner。



Madame　began　to　show　elaborate　symptoms　of　preparation　for　a　large…

sized　fit　of　hysterics。　She　caught　her　breath　five　or　six　times　running

in　a　resounding　manner；　heaved　her　bosom　beneath　the　green　chiffon　and

coffee…coloured　lace；　and　tore　feebly　with　both　hands　at　a　large

medallion　brooch　that　was　doing　sentry　duty　near　her　throat。



〃Pray；　pray；　Madame；〃　exclaimed　the　Prophet；　who　was　now　near　his　wits'

end。　〃Pray〃



〃How　can　I　pray　at　table；　sir？〃　she　retorted；　suddenly　showing　fight。

〃You　forget　yourself。〃



〃Oh；　Hennessey；〃　said　poor　Mrs。　Merillia；　〃what　does　all　this　mean？〃



〃Nothing；　grannie；　nothing　except　that　Mr。　Sagittarius　is　a　very　modest

man　and　does　not　care　to　acknowledge　the　greatness　of　his　talents。　Pray

sit　down；　Mr。　Sagittarius。　Here　is　the　ice　pudding。　Madame；　I　am　sure

you　will　take　some　ice。　Mr。　Ferdinand！〃



〃Sir？〃



〃The　ice　to　Madame　Sagittarius　instantly！〃



Mr。　Ferdinand；　who　was　trembling　in　every　limb　at　having　to　assist　at

such　a　scene　in　his　dining…room；　which　had　hitherto　been　the　very

temple　of　soft　conversation　and　the　most　exquisite　decorum；　advanced

towards　Madame；　clattering　the　flat　silver　dish；　and　causing　the　frozen

delicacy　that　the　cook　had　elegantly　posed　upon　it　to　run　first　this

way　and　then　that　as　if　in　imitative　agitation。



〃I　cannot；〃　sobbed　Madame；　beginning　once　more　to　catch　her　breath。　〃At

such　a　moment　food　becomes　repulsive！〃



〃I　assure　you　our　cook's　ice　puddings　are　quite　delicious；　aren't　they；

grannie？〃



〃I　have　no　idea；　Hennessey；〃　said　Mrs。　Merillia；　who　was　so　upset　by

the　extraordinary　scene　at　which　she　was　presiding　in　the　character　of

hostess；　that　she　mechanically　clutched　the　left　bandeau　of　her

delightful　wig；　and　set　it　quite　a　quarter　of　an　inch　awry。



〃Try　it；　Madame；〃　cried　the　Prophet。　〃I　implore　you　to　try　it。〃



Thus　adjured　Madame　detached　a　large　piece　of　the　agile　pudding　with

some　difficulty；　and　subsided　into　a　morose　silence；　while　her　husband

sat　with　his　eyes　fixed　imploringly　upon　her；　totally　regardless　of　his

social　duties。　As　both　Mrs。　Merillia　and　Lady　Julia　were　by　this　time

thoroughly　unnerved；　and　Sir　Tiglath　was　once　more　immersed　in　his

food；　the　whole　burden　of　conversation　fell　upon　the　Prophet；　who

indulged　in　a　feverish　monologue　that　lasted　until　the　end　of　dinner。

What　he　talked　about　he　could　never　afterwards　certainly　remember；　but

he　had　a　vague　idea　that　he　discussed　the　foreign　relations　of　England

with　Madagascar；　the　probable　future　of　Poland；　the　social　habits　of

the　women　of　Alaska；　the　prospects　of　tobacco　culture　in　West　Meath；

and　the　effect　that　imported　Mexicans　would　be　likely　to　produce　upon

the　natural　simplicity　of　such　unsophisticated　persons　as　inhabit　Lundy

Island　or　the　more　remote　districts　of　the　Shetlands。　When　the　ladies

at　length　rose　to　leave　the　dining…room　his　brain　was　in　a　whirl　and　he

had　little　doubt　that　his　temperature　was　up　to　104。　Nevertheless　his

mind　was　still　active；　was　indeed　preternaturally　acute　for　the　moment；

and　he　saw　in　a　flash　the　impossibility　of　leaving　Madame　Sagittarius

alone　with　his　grandmother　and　Lady　Julia。　As　they　got　up　from　their

seats　he　therefore　took　out　his　watch　and　said；



〃Dear　me！　It　is　later　than　I　had　supposed。　I　am　afraid　we　ought　to　be

starting　for　Zoological　House。　Mrs。　Bridgeman　will　be　expecting　us。〃



〃Certainly；　sir；　certainly！〃　said　Mr。　Sagittarius；　with　all　the

alacrity　of　supreme　cowardice；　and　casting　a　terror…stricken　glance

towards　Sir　Tiglath；　who　was　glowering　at　him　with　glassy　eyes　above　a

glass　of　port。　〃Mrs。　Bridgeman　will　be　expecting　us！〃



〃I　will　assume　my　cloak；〃　said　Madame；　fiercely。　〃Jupiter！〃



〃My　darling！〃



〃Kindly　seek　my　furs。〃



〃Certainly；　my　love；〃　replied　Mr。　Sagittarius；　darting　eagerly　from　the

apartment　to　fetch　the　rabbit…skins。



〃Lady　Julia；　I　hope　you　will　forgive　us；〃　said　the　Prophet；　with

passionate　contrition。　〃If　I　had　had　the　slightest　idea　that　we　should

have　the　pleasure　of　seeing　you　to…night；　of　course　I　should　have　given

up　this　engagement。　But　it　is　such　an　old　onesettled　months　agoand

I　have　promised　Mrs。　Bridgeman　so　faithfully　that〃



〃The　old　astronomer　will　go　with　you；〃　cried　Sir　Tiglath　at　this

moment；　swallowing　his　glass　of　port　at　a　gulp；　and　rolling　out　of　his

chair。



The　Prophet　turned　cold；　thinking　of　Miss　Minerva；　who　would　be　present

at　Mrs。　Bridgeman's　living　her　secret　double　life。　It　was　imperative　to

prevent　the　astronomer　from　accompanying　them。



〃I　did　not　think　you　knew　Mrs。　Bridgeman；　Sir　Tiglath；〃　the　Prophet

began；　while　Mrs。　Merillia　and　Lady　Julia　stood　blankly　near　the　door；

trying　to　look　calm　and　dignified　while　everyone　was　ardently　preparing

to　desert　them。



〃The　old　astronomer　must