the prophet of berkeley square-第24节

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the　sentimental　imaginations　of　the　masses　in　the　beautiful　Christmas

numbers　of　our　artistic　day。　Enchanting　little　girls　and　exceedingly

human　dogs　observed　his　entrance　from　every　hand；　while　such

penetrating　and　suggestive　legends　as　〃Don't　bite！〃　〃Mustn't！〃

〃Naughty！〃　〃Would　'ums？〃　and　the　like；　filled　his　mind　with　the　lofty

thoughts　so　suitable　to　the　Christmas　season。　Over　the　mantelpiece　was

a　/Cook's　Almanac　for　the　Home/；　decorated　in　bright　colours；　a

/Butler's　own　book/；　bound　in　claret…coloured　linen；　and　a　large　framed

photograph　of　Francatelli；　that　immortal　/chef/　whose　memory　is　kept

green　in　so　many　kitchens；　and　whose　recipes　are　still　followed　as　are

followed　the　footprints　of　the　great　ones　in　the　Everlasting　Sands　of

Time。　One　corner　of　the　room　Gustavus　had　made　his　own；　and　here　might

be　seen　his　tasteful　what…not　and　his　little　libraryneatly　arranged

unabridged　farthing　editions　of　Drummond's　/Ascent　of　Man/；　Mill's

/Liberty/；　Crampton's　/Origin　of　Self…Respect/；　Barlow's　/A

Philosophical　Examination　into　the　Art　and　Practice　of　Tipping　and

Receiving　Tips/；　and　other　volumes　suitable　for　an　intellectual

footman's　reading。　An　eight…day　clock；　which　was　carefully　and　lovingly

wound　up　by　the　prudent　Mrs。　Fancy　Quinglet　every　morning　and　evening；

snored　peacefully　in　a　recess　by　the　hearth；　and；　from　a　crevice　near

the　window；　the　bright；　intelligent　eyes　of　a　couple　of　well…developed

black…beetlesmother　and　soncontentedly　surveyed　the　cheerful　scene。



The　Prophet；　after　a　moment's　pause　of　contemplation；　passed　on　through

a　swing　door；　covered　with　green　baize；　and　down　some　stairs　to　the

inner　courts　of　this　interesting　region。　This　time　he　came　to　anchor　in

a　room　which；　he　thought；　might　well　have　been　a　butler's　pantry　had　it

contained　a　large…sized　telescope。　It　was　in　fact　the　parlour　set　apart

for　the　use　of　the　kitchen　and　scullery　maids；　and　was　brightly　fitted

up　with　a　dresser；　a　cupboard　for　skewers；　a　rolling…pin；　a　basting

machine；　and　other　similar　adjuncts。　It　gave　on　to　the　kitchen；　in

which　the　cat　of　the　house　was　enjoying　well…earned　slumber　in　the

attitude　of　a　black　ball。　So　far　his　exploring　tour　had　quite　fulfilled

the　rather　vague　expectations　of　the　Prophet；　but　he　now　began　to　feel

anxious。　Time　was　passing　on　and　he　had　sworn　to　be　at　the　telescope　by

eleven　sharp。　He　had；　therefore；　already　slightly　fractured　his　oath；

and　he　had　no　desire　to　earn　the　anathema　of　all　such　men　as　Robert

Green　by　breaking　it　into　small　pieces。　Where　was　the　butler's　pantry？

He　glanced　eagerly　round　the　kitchen；　perceived　a　door；　passed　through

it；　and　found　himself　confronted　by　a　sink。　He　had　gained　the　scullery；

but　not　his　goal。　To　the　right　of　the　sink　was　yet　another　door　through

which　the　Prophet；　who　carried　the　planisphere　in　one　hand；　the　George

the　Third　candlestick　in　the　other；　rather　excitedly　debouched　into　a

good…sized　passage。　As　he　did　so　he　heard　the　muffled　alto　voice　of　the

eight…day　clock　proclaim　that　it　was　a　quarter…past　eleven。　Feeling

that　he　was　now　upon　the　point　of　breaking　both　the　promises　of　the

damned　fool；　the　Prophet　hastened　along　the　passage；　darted　through　the

first　outlet；　and　found　himself　abruptly　face　to　back　with　what

appeared　at　first　glance　to　be　an　enormously　broad　and　bow…legged

dwarf；　with　a　bald　head　and　a　black　tail　coat；　which；　in　an　attitude　of

savage　curiosity；　was　gazing　through　a　gigantic　instrument；　whose

muzzle　projected　from　an　open　window　into　a　spacious　area。　So　great　was

the　Prophet's　surprise；　so　supreme　the　shock　to　his　whole　nervous

system　occasioned　by　this　unexpected　encounter；　that　he　did　not　utter　a

cry。　His　amazement　carried　him　into　that　terrible　region　which　lies

beyond　the　realms　of　speech。　He　simply　stood　quite　still　and　gazed　at

the　bow…legged　dwarf；　which；　in　its　turn；　continued　to　gaze　savagely

through　the　gigantic　instrument　into　the　area。　Not　for　perhaps　three　or

four　minutes　did　the　Prophet　realise　that　this　dwarf　was　merely　an

ingeniously　shortened　form　of　Mr。　Ferdinand；　who；　with　his　legs　very

wide　apart；　and　making　two　accurate　right　angles　at　their　respective

knee…joints；　his　head　thrown　well　back；　and　his　arms　arranged　in　two

perfect　capital　V's；　with　the　elbows　pointing　directly　at　the　walls　on

either　side　of　him；　had　been　busily　engaged　for　the　last　hour　and　a

quarter　in　trying　to　focus　firstly　the　Lord　Chancellor's　house　on　the

opposite　side　of　the　square；　and　secondly　the　pleasant…looking　second…

cook　in　it。　That　his　chivalrous　efforts　had　not　yet　been　crowned　with

complete　success　will　be　understood　when　we　say　that　he　had　seen　during

his　first　half…hour　of　contemplation　nothing　at　all；　during　his　second

half…hour　the　left…hand　top　star　of　the　Great　Bear；　and　finally　the

fourth　spike　from　the　end　of　the　iron　railing　which　enclosed　the　square

garden；　at　which　he　had　been　gazing　closely　for　precisely　fifteen

minutes　and　a　half　when　the　Prophet　darted　into　the　pantry。



Having　at　length　recovered　from　his　shock　of　surprise　sufficiently　to

realise　that　the　enormous　and　immobile　dwarf　was　Mr。　Ferdinand；　and

that　Mr。　Ferdinand　was　not　yet　aware　of　his　presence；　the　Prophet

resolved　to　beat　a　rapid　and　noiseless　retreat。　He　carried　this　resolve

into　execution　by　turning　sharply　round；　knocking　his　head　against　a

plate　chest；　firing　the　George　the　Third　candlestick　into　the　passage；

and　letting　the　planisphere　go　into　the　china　jar　of　〃Butler's　own

special　pomade〃　which　Mr。　Ferdinand　kept　always　open　for　use　upon　the

pantry　table。



To　say　that　Mr。　Ferdinand　ceased　from　looking　through　the　telescope　for

the　Lord　Chancellor's　second…cook　at　this　juncture　would；　perhaps；　not

convey　quite　a　fair　idea　of　the　activity　which　he　could　on　occasion

display　even　at　his　somewhat　advanced　age。　It　might　be　more　just　to

state　that；　without　wasting　any　precious　time　in　useless　elongation；　he

described　an　exceedingly　rapid　circular　movement；　still　preserving　the

shortened　form　of　himself　which　had　so　deceived　and　startled　his

master；　and　brought　his　eye　from　the　orifice　of　the　telescope　to　a

level　with　the　Prophet's　knees　exactly　at　the　moment　when　the　Prophet

rebounded　from　the　plate　chest　into　the　centre　of　the　apartment。



〃Oh；　is　it　you；　Mr。　Ferdinand？〃　said　the　Prophet；　controlling　every

symptom　of　anguish；　with　the　exception　of　a　rapid　flutter　of　the

eyelids。　〃I　was　looking　forfor　a　bradawl。〃



The　Prophet's　choice　of　this　useful　little　implement　as　the　reason　for

his　presence　in　Mr。　Ferdinand's　special　sanctum　was　prompted　by　the

fact　that；　just　as　he　was　speaking；　he　happened　to　see　a　bradawl　lying

upon　a　neighbouring　knife　cupboard　in　the　company　of　a　corkscrew。



〃And　here；　I　see；　is　just　what　I　want；〃　he　added　calmly。



So　far　he　had　displayed　extraordinary　composure；　but　at　this　point　he

made　a　slight　mistake；　for　he　picked　up　the　corkscrew　and　sauntered

quietly　away　with　it　into　the　darkness；　leaving　Mr。　Ferdinand　still　in

the　attitude　of　a　Toby　jug；　the　planisphere　still　head　downwards　in　the

butler's　own　special　pomade；　and　the　George　the　Third　candlestick

stretched　at　full　length　upon　the　passage　floor。







CHAPTER　X



THE　PROPHET　AND　MALKIEL　THE　SECOND　CONVERSE　BY　TELEGRAM



　〃Hennessey　Vivian；　1000　Berkeley　Square；　W。



　〃Please　wire　result　of　last　night's　observations　from　eleven　till

　　three　inclusive。Sagittarius。〃



　〃Jupiter　Sagittarius；　Sagittarius　Lodge；　Crampton　St。　Peter；　N。



　〃Impossible　wire　result；　will　write　at　length　after　taking　further

　　observations　to…night。Vivian。〃



　〃Certainly　write　at　length；　but　meanwhile　wire　all　important　results

　　in　condensed　form。Sagittarius。〃



　〃Results　not　sufficiently　important　to　wire；　letter　without　fail

　　to…morrow。Vivian。〃



　〃Never　mind　unimportance；　wire　whatever　results　obtained。

　　Sagittarius。〃



　〃On　consideration　think　results　too　important　to　wire；　will　explain

　　by　letter。Vivian。〃



　〃Your　second　and　third　wires　in　direct　contradiction；　kindly

　　reconcile　opposing　statements。Sagittarius。〃



　〃Cannot　reconcile　by　wire；　will　do　so　by　letter。Vivian。〃



　〃Then　meanwhile　request　forecast　of　grandmother　so　far　as　gathered

　　last　night。Sagittarius。〃



　〃Quite　impossible　discuss　grandmother　by　wire。Vivian。〃



　〃Not　at　all；　couch　in　careful　terms；　shall　understand；　no　need　put

　　grandmother's　name。Sagittarius。〃



　〃Quite　impossible；　grandmother　too　sacred　for　treatment　by　wire；

　　long　and　full　letter　to…morrow。Vivian。〃



　〃Absurd！　Call　her　Harry　and　wire　her　future　as　obtained　last　night；

　　shall　understand。Sagittarius。〃



　〃Cannot　possibly　consent　call　grandmother　Harry；　pray　cease；

　　succession　of　telegraph　boys　to　house　attracting　general　attention

　　in　square。Vivian。〃



　〃Must　insist；　then　call　her　Susan　and　wire。Sagittarius。〃



　〃Cannot　possibly　consent　to　call　her　Susan；　discussion　of　such

　　matter