the daisy chain, or aspirations-第84节
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of affection from all; even his little god…daughter began to know
him; and smile at his presence。 Margaret and Ethel especially
delighted in the look of enjoyment with which their father sat down
to enter on the evening's conversation after the day's work; and
Flora was well pleased that Mrs。 Hoxton should find Alan in the
drawing…room; and ask afterwards about his estate; and that Meta
Rivers; after being certified that this was their Mr。 Ernescliffe;
pronounced that her papa thought him particularly pleasing and
gentlemanlike。 There was something dignified in having a sister on
the point of being engaged。
CHAPTER XXVIII。
Sail forth into the sea; thou ship;
Through breeze and cloud; right onward steer;
The moistened eye; the trembling lip;
Are not the signs of doubt or fear!LONGFELLOW。
Tranquility only lasted until Mr。 Ernescliffe found it necessary to
understand on what terms he was to stand。 Every one was tender of
conscience; anxious to do right; and desirous to yield to the opinion
that nobody could; or would give。 While Alan begged for a positive
engagement; Margaret scrupled to exchange promises that she might
never be able to fulfil; and both agreed to leave all to her father;
who; in every way; ought to have the best ability to judge whether
there was unreasonable presumption in such a betrothal; but this very
ability only served to perplex the poor doctor more and more。 It is
far easier for a man to decide when he sees only one bearing of a
case; than when; like Dr。 May; he not only sees them; but is rent by
them in his inmost heart。 Sympathising in turn with each lover;
bitterly accusing his own carelessness as the cause of all their
troubles; his doubts contending with his hopes; his conviction
clashing with Sir Matthew Fleet's opinion; his conscientious
sincerity and delicacy conflicting with his affection and eagerness;
he was perfectly incapable of coming to a decision; and suffered so
cruelly; that Margaret was doubly distressed for his sake; and Alan
felt himself guilty of having rendered everybody miserable。
Dr。 May could not conceal his trouble; and rendered Ethel almost as
unhappy as himself; after each conversation with her; though her
hopes usually sprang up again; and she had a happy conviction that
this was only the second volume of the novel。 Flora was not often
called into his councils; confidence never came spontaneously from
Dr。 May to her; there was something that did not draw it forth
towards her; whether it resided in that half…sarcastic corner of her
steady blue eye; or in the grave common…sense of her gentle voice。
Her view of the case was known to be that there was no need for so
much perplexitywhy should not Alan be the best judge of his own
happiness? If Margaret were to be delicate for life; it would be
better to have such a home to look to; and she soothed and comforted
Margaret; and talked in a strain of unmixed hope and anticipation
that often drew a smile from her sister; though she feared to trust
to it。
Flora's tact and consideration in keeping the children away when the
lovers could best be alone; and letting them in when the discussion
was becoming useless and harassing; her cheerful smiles; her evening
music that covered all sounds; her removal of all extra annoyances;
were invaluable; and Margaret appreciated them; as; indeed; Flora
took care that she should。
Margaret begged to know her eldest brother's judgment; but had great
difficulty in dragging it out。 Diffidently as it was proposed; it
was clear and decided。 He thought that his father had better send
Sir Matthew Fleet a statement of Margaret's present condition; and
abide by his answer as to whether her progress warranted the hope of
her restoration。
Never was Richard more surprised than by the gratitude with which his
suggestion was hailed; simple as it was; so that it seemed obvious
that others should have already thought of it。 After the tossings of
uncertainty; it was a positive relief to refer the question to some
external voice; and only Ethel and Norman expressed strong dislike to
Sir Matthew becoming the arbiter of Margaret's fate; and were
scarcely pacified by Dr。 May's assurance that he had not revealed the
occasion of his inquiry。 The letter was sent; and repose returned;
but hearts beat high on the morning when the answer was expected。
Dr。 May watched the moment when his daughter was alone; carried the
letter to her; and kissing her; said; with an oppressed voice; 〃I
give you joy; my dear。〃
She read with suspended breath and palpitating heart。 Sir Matthew
thought her improvement sure; though slow; and had barely a doubt
that; in a year; she would have regained her full strength and
activity。
〃You will show it to Alan;〃 said Dr。 May; as Margaret lifted her eyes
to his face inquiringly。
〃Will not you?〃 she said。
〃I cannot;〃 he answered。 〃I wish I was more helpful to you; my
child;〃 he added wistfully; 〃but you will rest on him; and be happy
together while he stays; will you not?〃
〃Indeed I will; dear papa。〃
Mr。 Ernescliffe was with her as the doctor quitted her。 She held the
letter to him; 〃But;〃 she said slowly; 〃I see that papa does not
believe it。〃
〃You promised to abide by it!〃 he exclaimed; between entreaty and
authority。
〃I do; if you choose so to risk your hopes。〃
〃But;〃 cried he; as he glanced hastily over the letter; 〃there can be
no doubt! These words are as certain as language can make them。 Why
will you not trust them?〃
〃I see that papa does not。〃
〃Despondency and self…reproach made him morbidly anxious。 Believe
so; my Margaret! You know he is no surgeon!〃
〃His education included that line;〃 said Margaret。 〃I believe he has
all but the manual dexterity。 However; I would fain have faith in
Sir Matthew;〃 she added; smiling; 〃and perhaps I am only swayed by
the habit of thinking that papa must know best。〃
〃He does in indifferent cases; but it is an old axiom; that a medical
man should not prescribe for his own family; above all; in such a
case; where it is but reasonable to believe an unprejudiced stranger;
who alone is cool enough to be relied on。 I absolutely depend on
him!〃
Margaret absolutely depended on the bright cheerful look of
conviction。 〃Yes;〃 she said; 〃we will try to make papa take pleasure
in the prospect。 Perhaps I could do more if I made the attempt。〃
〃I am sure you could; if you would let me give you more support。 If
I were but going to remain with you!〃
〃Don't let us be discontented;〃 said Margaret; smiling; 〃when so much
more has been granted than I dare to hope。 Be it as it may; let us
be happy in what we have。〃
〃It makes you happy?〃 said he; archly reading her face to draw out
the avowal; but he only made her hide it; with a mute caress of the
hand that held hers。 She was glad enough to rest in the present; now
that everything concurred to satisfy her conscience in so doing; and
come what might; the days now spent together would be a possession of
joy for ever。
Captain Gordon contrived to afford his lieutenant another fortnight's
leave; perhaps because he was in dread of losing him altogether; for
Alan had some doubts; and many longings to remain。 Had it been
possible to marry at once; he would have quitted the navy
immediately; and he would have given worlds to linger beside
Margaret's couch; and claim her the first moment possible; believing
his care more availing than all。 He was; however; so pledged to
Captain Gordon; that; without strong cause; he would not have been
justified in withdrawing; besides; Harry was under his charge; and
Dr。 May and Margaret both thought; with the captain; that an active
life would be a better occupation for him than watching her。 He
would never be able to settle down at his new home comfortably
without her; and he would be more in the way of duty while pursuing
his profession; so Margaret nerved herself against using her
influence to detain him; and he thanked her for it。
Though hope and affection could not an once repair an injured spine;
they had wonderful powers in inciting Margaret to new efforts。 Alan
was as tender and ready of hand as Richard; and more clever and
enterprising; and her unfailing trust in him prevented all alarms and
misgivings; so that wonders were effected; and her father beheld her
standing with so little support; looking so healthful and so blithe;
that his forebodings melted away; and he talked joyously of the
future。
The great achievement was taking her round the garden。 She could not
bear the motion of wheels; but Alan adopted the hammock principle;
and; with the aid of Richard and his crony; the carpenter; produced a
machine in which no other power on earth could have prevailed on her
to trust herself; but in which she was carried round the garden so
successfully; that there was even a talk of next Sunday; and of the
Minster。
It was safely accomplished; and tired as she was; Margaret felt; as
she whispered to Alan; that he had now crowned all the joy that he
had brought to her。
Ethel used to watch them; and think how beautiful their countenances
were; and talk them over with her