the daisy chain, or aspirations-第38节
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means she tried Miss Winter's patience almost beyond measure。 But
she cared notshe saw a gathering school and rising church; which
eclipsed all thought of present inattentions and gaucheries。 She
monopolised Margaret in the twilight; and rhapsodised to her heart's
content; talking faster and faster; and looking more and more
excited。 Margaret began to feel a little overwhelmed; and while
answering 〃yes〃 at intervals; was considering whether Ethel had not
been flying about in an absent inconsiderate mood all day; and
whether it would seem unkind to damp her ardour; by giving her a hint
that she was relaxing her guard over herself。 Before Margaret had
steeled herself; Ethel was talking of a story she had read; of a
place something like Cocksmoor。 Margaret was not ready with her
recollection; and Ethel; saying it was in a magazine in the drawing…
room chiffonier; declared she would fetch it。
Margaret knew what it was to expect her visitors to return 〃in one
moment;〃 and with a 〃now…or…never〃 feeling she began; 〃Ethel; dear;
wait;〃 but Ethel was too impetuous to attend。 〃I'll be back in a
twinkling;〃 she called out; and down she flew; in her speed whisking
away; without seeing it; the basket with Margaret's knitting and all
her notes and papers; which lay scattered on the floor far out of
reach; vexing Margaret at first; and then making her grieve at her
own impatient feeling。
Ethel was soon in the drawing…room; but the right number of the
magazine was not quickly forthcoming; and in searching she became
embarked in another story。 Just then; Aubrey; whose stout legs were
apt to carry him into every part of the house where he was neither
expected nor wanted; marched in at the open door; trying by dint of
vehement gestures to make her understand; in his imperfect speech;
something that he wanted。 Very particularly troublesome she thought
him; more especially as she could not make him out; otherwise than
that he wanted her to do something with the newspaper and the fire。
She made a boat for him with an old newspaper; a very hasty and frail
performance; and told him to sail it on the carpet; and be Mr。
Ernescliffe going away; and she thought him thus safely disposed of。
Returning to her book and her search; with her face to the cupboard;
and her book held up to catch the light; she was soon lost in her
story; and thought of nothing more till suddenly roused by her
father's voice in the hall; loud and peremptory with alarm; 〃Aubrey!
put that down!〃 She looked; and beheld Aubrey brandishing a great
flaming paperhe dropped it at the exclamationit fell burning on
the carpet。 Aubrey's white pinafore! Ethel was springing up; but in
her cramped; twisted position she could not do so quickly; and even
as he called; her father strode by her; snatched at Aubrey's merino
frock; which he crushed over the scarcely lighted pinafore; and
trampled out the flaming paper with his foot。 It was a moment of
dreadful fright; but the next assured them that no harm was done。
〃Ethel!〃 cried the doctor; 〃Are you mad? What were you thinking of?〃
Aubrey; here recollecting himself enough to be frightened at his
father's voice and manner; burst into loud cries; the doctor pressed
him closer on his breast; caressed and soothed him。 Ethel stood by;
pale and transfixed with horror。 Her father was more angry with her
than she had ever seen him; and with reason; as she knew; as she
smelled the singeing; and saw a large burnt hole in Aubrey's
pinafore; while the front of his frock was scorched and brown。 Dr。
May's words were not needed; 〃What could make you let him?〃
〃I didn't see〃 she faltered。
〃Didn't see! Didn't look; didn't think; didn't care! That's it;
Ethel。 'Tis very hard one can't trust you in a room with the child
any more than the baby himself。 His frock perfect tinder! He would
have been burned to a cinder; if I had not come in!〃
Aubrey roared afresh; and Dr。 May; kissing and comforting him;
gathered him up in his left arm; and carried him away; looking back
at the door to say; 〃There's no bearing it! I'll put a stop to all
schools and Greek; if it is to lead to this; and make you good for
nothing!〃
Ethel was too much terrified to know where she was; or anything; but
that she had let her little brother run into fearful peril; and
grievously angered her father; she was afraid to follow him; and
stood still; annihilated; and in despair; till roused by his return;
then; with a stifled sob; she exclaimed; 〃Oh; papa!〃 and could get no
further for a gush of tears。
But the anger of the shock of terror was over; and Dr。 May was sorry
for her tears; though still he could not but manifest some
displeasure。 〃Yes; Ethel;〃 he said; 〃it was a frightful thing;〃 and
he could not but shudder again。 〃One moment later! It is an escape
to be for ever thankful forpoor little fellow!but; Ethel; Ethel;
do let it be a warning to you。〃
〃Oh; I hopeI'll try〃 sobbed Ethel。
〃You have said you would try before。〃
〃I know I have;〃 said Ethel; choked。 〃If I could but〃
〃Poor child;〃 said Dr。 May sadly; then looking earnestly at her;
〃Ethel; my dear; I am afraid of its being with you asas it has been
with me;〃 he spoke very low; and drew her close to him。 〃I grew up;
thinking my inbred heedlessness a sort of grace; so to say; rather
manlythe reverse of finikin。 I was spoiled as a boy; and my Maggie
carried on the spoiling; by never letting me feel its effects。 By
the time I had sense enough to regret this as a fault; I had grown
too old for changing of ingrain; long…nurtured habitsperhaps I
never wished it really。 You have seen;〃 and his voice was nearly
inaudible; 〃what my carelessness has come tolet that suffice at
least; as a lesson that may spare youwhat your father must feel as
long as he lives。〃
He pressed his hand tightly on her shoulder; and left her; without
letting her see his face。 Shocked and bewildered; she hurried
upstairs to Margaret。 She threw herself on her knees; felt her arms
round her; and heard her kind soothing; and then; in broken words;
told how dreadful it had been; and how kind papa had been; and what
he had said; which was now the uppermost thought。 〃Oh; Margaret;
Margaret; how very terrible it is! And does papa really think so?〃
〃I believe he does;〃 whispered Margaret。
〃How can he; can he bear it〃〃 said Ethel; clasping her hands。 〃Oh!
it is enough to kill oneI can't think why it did not!〃
〃He bears it;〃 said Margaret; 〃because he is so very good; that help
and comfort do come to him。 Dear papa! He bears up because it is
right; and for our sakes; and he has a sort of rest in that perfect
love they had for each other。 He knows how she would wish him to
cheer up and look to the end; and support and comfort are given to
him; I know they are; but oh; Ethel! it does make one tremble and
shrink; to think what he has been going through this autumn;
especially when I hear him moving about late at night; and now and
then comes a heavy groanwhenever any especial care has been on his
mind。〃
Ethel was in great distress。 〃To have grieved him again!〃 said she;
〃and just as he seemed better and brighter! Everything I do turns
out wrong; and always will; I can't do anything well by any chance。〃
〃Yes you can; when you mind what you are about。〃
〃But I never canI'm like him; every one says so; and he says the
heedlessness is ingrain; and can't be got rid of。〃
〃Ethel; I don't really think he could have told you so。〃
〃I'm sure he said ingrain。〃
〃Well; I suppose it is part of his nature; and that you have
inherited it; but〃Margaret paused; and Ethel exclaimed:
〃He said his was long…nurtured; yes; Margaret; you guessed right; and
he said he could not change it; and no more can I。〃
〃Surely; Ethel; you have not had so many years。 You are fifteen
instead of forty…six; and it is more a woman's work than a man's to
be careful。 You need not begin to despair。 You were growing much
better; Richard said so; and so did Miss Winter。〃
〃What's the use of it; if in one moment it is as bad as ever? And
to…day; of all days in the year; just when papa had been so very;
very kind; and given me more than I asked。〃
〃Do you know; Ethel; I was thinking whether dear mamma would not say
that was the reason。 You were so happy; that perhaps you were thrown
off your guard。〃
〃I should not wonder if that was it;〃 said Ethel thoughtfully。 〃You
know it was a sort of probation that Richard put me on。 I was to
learn to be steady before he spoke to papa; and now it seemed to be
all settled and right; and perhaps I forgot I was to be careful
still。〃
〃I think it was something of the kind。 I was a little afraid before;
and I wish I had tried to caution you; but I did not like to seem
unkind。〃
〃I wish you had;〃 said Ethel。 〃Dear little Aubrey! Oh; if papa had
not been there! And I cannot think how; as it was; he could contrive
to put the fire out; with his one hand; and not hurt himself。
Margaret it was terrible。 How could I mind so little! Did you see
how his frock was singed?〃
〃Yes; papa showed it to me。 How can we be thankful enough! One
thing I hope; that Aubrey was well fri