the daisy chain, or aspirations-第25节

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wanting　to　undertake　so　much；　when　I　leave　so　much　undone。　　But；　do
you　know；　Margaret；　there's　no　one　such　a　help　in　those　ways　as
Richard。　　Though　he　is　so　precise；　he　is　never　tiresome。　　He　makes　me
see　things；　and　do　them　neatly；　without　plaguing　me；　and　putting　me
in　a　rage。　　I'm　not　ready　to　bite　off　my　own　fingers；　or　kick　all　the
rattle…traps　over　and　leave　them；　as　I　am　when　Miss　Winter　scolds　me；
or　nurse；　or　even　Flora　sometimes；　but　it　is　as　if　I　was　gratifying
him；　and　his　funny　little　old　bachelor　tidyisms　divert　me；　besides；
he　teaches　me　the　theory；　and　never　lays　hold　of　my　poor　fingers；
and；　when　they　won't　bend　the　wrong　way；　calls　them　frogs。〃

〃He　is　a　capital　master　for　you；〃　said　Margaret；　much　amused　and
pleased；　for　Richard　was　her　especial　darling；　and　she　triumphed　in
any　eulogy　from　those　who　ordinarily　were　too　apt　to　regard　his
dullness　with　superior　compassion。

〃If　he　would　only　read　our　books；　and　enter　into　poetry　and　delight
in　it；　but　it　is　all　nonsense　to　him；〃　said　Ethel。　　〃I　can't　think
how　people　can　be　so　different；　but；　oh！　here　he　comes。　　Ritchie；　you
should　not　come　upon　us　before　we　are　aware。〃

〃What？　I　should　have　heard　no　good　of　myself？〃

〃Great　good；〃　said　Margaret〃she　was　telling　me　you　would　make　a
neat…handed　woman　of　her　in　time。〃

〃I　don't　see　why　she　should　not　be　as　neat　as　other　people；〃　said
Richard　gravely。　　〃Has　she　been　telling　you　our　plan？〃

And　it　was　again　happily　discussed；　Ethel；　satisfied　by　finding　him
fully　set　upon　the　design；　and　Margaret　giving　cordial　sympathy　and
counsel。　　When　Ethel　was　called　away；　Margaret　said；　〃I　am　so　glad
you　have　taken　it　up；　not　only　for　the　sake　of　Cocksmoor；　but　of
Ethel。　　It　is　good　for　her　not　to　spend　her　high　soul　in　dreams。〃

〃I　am　afraid　she　does　not　know　what　she　undertakes；〃　said　Richard。

〃She　does　not；　but　you　will　keep　her　from　being　turned　back。　　It　is
just　the　thing　to　prevent　her　energies　from　running　to　waste；　and　her
being　so　much　with　you；　and　working　under　you；　is　exactly　what　one
would　have　chosen。〃

〃By　contraries！〃　said　Richard；　smiling。　　〃That　is　what　I　was　afraid
of。　　I　don't　half　understand　or　follow　her；　and　when　I　think　a　thing
nonsense；　I　see　you　all　calling　it　very　fine；　and　I　don't　know　what
to　make　of　it〃

〃You　are　making　yourself　out　more　dull　than　you　are；〃　said　Margaret
affectionately。

〃I　know　I　am　stupid；　and　seem　tame　and　cold；〃　said　Richard；　〃and　you
are　the　only　one　that　does　not　care　about　it。　　That　is　what　makes　me
wish　Norman　was　the　eldest。　　If　I　were　as　clever　as　he；　I　could　do　so
much　with　Ethel；　and　be　so　much　more　to　papa。〃

〃No；　you　would　not。　　You　would　have　other　things　in　your　head。　　You
would　not　be　the　dear；　dear　old　Ritchie　that　you　are。　　You　would　not
be　a　calm；　cautious；　steady　balance　to　the　quicksilver　heads　some　of
us　have　got。　　No；　no；　Norman's　a　very　fine　fellow；　a　very　dear
fellow；　but　he　would　not　do　half　so　well　for　our　eldesthe　is　too
easily　up；　and　down　again。〃

〃And　I　am　getting　into　my　old　way　of　repining；〃　said　Richard。　　〃I
don't　mind　so　much；　since　my　father　has　at　least　one　son　to　be　proud
of；　and　I　can　be　of　some　use　to　him　now。〃

〃Of　the　greatest；　and　to　all　of　us。　　I　am　so　glad　you　can　stay　after
Christmas；　and　papa　was　pleased　at　your　offering；　and　said　he　could
not　spare　you　at　all；　though　he　would　have　tried；　if　it　had　been　any
real　advantage　to　you。〃

〃Well；　I　hope　he　will　approve。　　I　must　speak　to　him　as　soon　as　I　can
find　him　with　his　mind　tolerably　disengaged。〃

The　scene　that　ensued　that　evening　in　the　magic　lantern　before
Margaret's　bed；　did　not　promise　much　for　the　freedom　of　her　father's
mind。　　Harry　entered　with　a　resolute　manner。　　〃Margaret；　I　wanted　to
speak　to　you；〃　said　he；　spreading　himself　out；　with　an　elbow　on　each
arm　of　the　chair。　　〃I　want　you　to　speak　to　papa　about　my　going　to
sea。　　It　is　high　time　to　see　about　itI　shall　be　thirteen　on　the
fourth　of　May。〃

〃And　you　mean　it　seriously；　Harry？〃

〃Yes；　of　course　I　do；　really　and　truly；　and　if　it　is　to　come　to　pass；
it　is　time　to　take　measures。　　Don't　you　see；　Margaret？〃

〃It　is　time；　as　you　say；〃　answered　Margaret　reflectingly；　and　sadly
surveying　the　bright　boy；　rosy　cheeked；　round　faced；　and　blue　eyed；
with　the　childish　gladsomeness　of　countenance；　that　made　it　strange
that　his　lot　in　life　should　be　already　in　the　balance。

〃I　know　what　you　will　all　tell　me；　that　it　is　a　hard　life；　but　I　must
get　my　own　living　some　way　or　other；　and　I　should　like　that　way　the
best；〃　said　he　earnestly。

〃Should　you　like　to　be　always　far　from　home？〃

〃I　should　come　home　sometimes；　and　bring　such　presents　to　Mary；　and
baby；　and　all　of　you；　and　I　don't　know　what　else　to　be；　Margaret。　　I
should　hate　to　be　a　doctorI　can't　abide　sick　people；　and　I　couldn't
write　sermons；　so　I　can't　be　a　clergyman；　and　I　won't　be　a　lawyer；　I
vow；　for　Harvey　Anderson　is　to　be　a　lawyerso　there's　nothing　left
but　soldiers　and　sailors；　and　I　mean　to　be　a　sailor！〃

〃Well；　Harry；　you　may　do　your　duty；　and　try　to　do　right；　if　you　are　a
sailor；　and　that　is　the　point。〃

〃Ay；　I　was　sure　you　would　not　set　your　face　against　it；　now　you　know
Alan　Ernescliffe。〃

〃If　you　were　to　be　like　him〃　Margaret　found　herself　blushing；　and
broke　off。

〃Then　you　will　ask　papa　about　it？〃

〃You　had　better　do　so　yourself。　　Boys　had　better　settle　such　serious
affairs　with　their　fathers；　without　setting　their　sisters　to
interfere。　　What's　the　matter；　Harryyou　are　not　afraid　to　speak　to
papa？〃

〃Only　for　one　thing；〃　said　Harry。　〃Margaret；　I　went　out　to　shoot　pee…
wits　last　Saturday　with　two　fellows；　and　I　can't　speak　to　papa　while
that's　on　my　mind。〃

〃Then　you　had　better　tell　him　at　once。〃

〃I　knew　you　would　say　so；　but　it　would　be　like　a　girl；　and　it　would
be　telling　of　the　two　fellows。〃

〃Not　at　all；　papa　would　not　care　about　them。〃

〃You　see；〃　said　Harry；　twisting　a　little；　〃I　knew　I　ought　not；　but
they　said　I　was　afraid　of　a　gun；　and　that　I　had　no　money。　　Now　I　see
that　was　chaff；　but　I　didn't　then；　and　Norman　wasn't　there。〃

〃I　am　so　glad　you　have　told　me　all　this；　Harry　dear；　for　I　knew　you
had　been　less　at　home　of　late；　and　I　was　almost　afraid　you　were　not
going　on　quite　well。〃

〃That's　what　it　is；〃　said　Harry。　　〃I　can't　stand　things　at　all；　and　I
can't　go　moping　about　as　Norman　does。　　I　can't　live　without　fun；　and
now　Norman　isn't　here；　half　the　time　it　turns　to　something　I　am　sorry
for　afterwards。〃

〃But；　Harry；　if　you　let　yourself　be　drawn　into　mischief　here　for　want
of　Norman；　what　would　you　do　at　sea？〃

〃I　should　be　an　officer！〃

〃I　am　afraid；〃　said　Margaret；　smiling；　〃that　would　not　make　much
difference　inside；　though　it　might　outside。　　You　must　get　the　self…
control；　and　leave　off　being　afraid　to　be　said　to　be　afraid。〃

Harry　fidgeted。　　〃I　should　start　fresh；　and　be　out　of　the　way　of　the
Andersons；〃　he　said。　　〃That　Anderson　junior　is　a　horrid　fellowhe
spites　Norman；　and　he　bullied　me；　till　I　was　big　enough　to　show　him
that　it　would　not　doand　though　I　am　so　much　younger；　he　is　afraid
of　me。　　He　makes　up　to　me；　and　tries　to　get　me　into　all　the　mischief
that　is　going。〃

〃And　you　know　that；　and　let　him　lead　you？　　Oh；　Harry！〃

〃I　don't　let　him　lead　me；〃　said　Harry　indignantly；　〃but　I　won't　have
them　say　I　can't　do　things。〃

Margaret　laughed；　and　Harry　presently　perceived　what　she　meant；　but
instead　of　answering；　he　began　to　boast；　〃There　never　was　a　May　in
disgrace　yet；　and　there　never　shall　be。〃

〃That　is　a　thing　to　be　very　thankful　for；〃　said　Margaret；　〃but　you
know　there　may　be　much　harm　without　public　disgrace。　　I　never　heard
of　one　of　the　Andersons　being　in　disgrace　yet。〃

〃Noshabby　fellows；　that　just　manage　to　keep　fair　with　old　Hoxton；
and　make　a　show；〃　said　Harry。　　〃They　look　at　translations；　and　copy
old　stock　verses。　　Oh；　it　was　such　fun　the　other　day。　　What　do　you
think？　　Norman　must　have　been　dreaming；　for　he　had　taken　to　school；
by　mistake；　Richard's　old　Gradus　that　Ethel　uses；　and　there　were　ever
so　many　rough　copies　of　hers　sticking　in　it。〃

〃Poor　Ethel！　　What　consternation　she　would　be　in！　　I　hope　no　one
found　it　out。〃

〃Why；　Anderson　junior　was　gaping　about　in　despair　for　sense　for　his
verseshe　comes　on　that；　and　slyly　copies　a　whole　set　of　her　old
ones；　done　when　sheNorman；　I　meanwas　in　the　fifth　form。　　His
subject　was　a　river；　and　hers　Babylon；　but；　altering　a　line　or　two；
it　did　just　as　well。　　He　never　guessed　I　saw　him；　and　thought　he　had
done　it　famously。　　He　showed　them　up；　and　would　have　got　some　noted
good　mark；　but　that；　by　great　good　luck；　Ethel　had　made　two　of　her
pentameters　too　short；　which　he　hadn't　the　wit　to　find　out；　thinking
all　Norman　did　must　be　right。　　So　he　has　shown　up　a　girl's　verses
isn't　that　rare？〃　cried　Harry；　dancing　on　his　chair　with　triumph。

〃I　hope　no　one　knows　they　were　hers？〃

〃Bless　you；　no！〃　said　Harry；　who　regarded　Ethel's　attainments　as
something　contraband。　　〃D'ye　think　I　could　tell？　　No；　that's　the　only
pity；　that　he　can't　hear　it；　but；　after　all；　I　don't　care　for
anything　he　does；　now　I　know　he　has　shown　up　a　girl's　verses。〃

〃Are　these　verses　of　poor　Ethel's　safe　at　home？〃

〃Yes；　I　took　care　of　that。