the daisy chain, or aspirations-第168节

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minded　man；　who　thought　that　the　largeness　of　Meta's　fortune　was　no
reason　that　it　should　be　doubled；　considered　that；　in　the　matter　of
connection；　the　May　family　had　the　advantage；　and　saw　in　Norman；　a
young　man　whom　any　one　might　have　pleasure　in　bringing　forward。
Oxford　had　established　confidence　both　in　his　character　and　talents；
and　his　speech　had　been　such　as　to　impress　an　experienced　man；　like
Lord　Cosham；　with　an　opinion　of　his　powers；　that　prepared　a　welcome
for　him；　such　as　no　one　could　have　dared　to　expect。　　His　lordship
thought　his　niece　not　only　likely　to　be　happier；　but　to　occupy　a　more
distinguished　position　with　such　a　man　as　Norman　May；　than　with　most
persons　of　ready…made　rank　and　fortune。

The　blushing　and　delighted　Dr。　May　had　thought　himself　bound　to　speak
of　his　son's　designs；　but　he　allowed　that　the　project　had　been　formed
under　great　distress　of　mind；　and　when　he　saw　it　treated　by　so　good　a
man；　as　a　mere　form　of　disappointed　love；　he　felt　himself　reprieved
from　the　hardest　sacrifice　that　he　had　ever　been　called　on　to　make；
loved　little　Meta　the　better　for　restoring　his　son；　and　once　more
gave　a　free　course　to　the　aspirations　that　Norman's　brilliant　boyhood
had　inspired。　　Richard　took　the　same　view；　and　the　evening　passed
away　in　an　argumentas　if　any　one　had　been　disputing　with　themthe
father　reasoning　loud；　the　son　enforcing　it　low；　that　it　had　become
Norman's　duty　to　stay　at　home　to　take　care　of　Meta；　whose　father
would　have　been　horrified　at　his　taking　her　to　the　Antipodes。　　They
saw　mighty　tasks　for　her　fortune　to　effect　in　England；　they　enhanced
each　other's　anticipations　of　Norman's　career；　overthrew　abuses
before　him；　heaped　distinctions　upon　him；　and　had　made　him　Prime
Minister　and　settled　his　policy；　before　ten　o'clock　brought　their
schemes　to　a　close。

Mary　gazed　and　believed；　Margaret　lay　still　and　gently　assented；
Ethel　was　silent　at　first；　and　only　when　the　fabric　became　extremely
airy　and　magnificent；　put　in　her　word　with　a　vehement　dash　at　the
present　abuses；　which　grieved　her　spirit　above　all；　and；　whether
vulnerable　or　not；　Norman　was　to　dispose　of；　like　so　many　giants
before　Mr。　Great…heart。

She　went　upstairs；　unable　to　analyse　her　sentiments。　　To　be　spared
the　separation　would　be　infinite　reliefall　this　prosperity　made　her
exultthe　fair　girl　at　the　Grange　was　the　delight　of　her　heart；　and
yet　there　was　a　sense　of　falling　off；　she　disliked　herself　for　being
either　glad　or　sorry；　and　could　have　quarrelled　with　the　lovers　for
perplexing　her　feelings　so　uncomfortably。

Though　she　sat　up　till　the　party　returned；　she　was　inclined　to　be
supposed　in　bed；　so　as　to　put　off　the　moment　of　meeting；　but
Margaret；　who　she　hoped　was　asleep；　said　from　her　pillow；　〃Ask　dear
Norman　to　let　me　give　him　one　kiss。〃

She　ran　down　headlong；　clutched　Norman　as　he　was　taking　off　his
greatcoat；　told　him　that　Margaret　wanted　him；　and　dragged　him　up
without　letting　him　go；　till　she　reached　the　first　landing；　where　she
stood　still；　saying　breathlessly；　〃New　Zealand。〃

〃If　I　wished　to　fail；　she　would　keep　me　to　it。〃

〃I　beg　your　pardon；〃　said　Ethel；　claiming　heartily　his　caress。　　〃I
was　wrong　to　doubt　either　of　you。　　Now；　I　know　how　to　feel！　　But
Margaret　must　not　wait。〃

The　happy　youth；　in　the　flush　of　love　and　joy；　bent　gently；　almost
tearfully；　down　in　silence　to　the　white　form；　half　seen　in　the
twilight；　whose　hopes　had　fleeted　away　from　earth；　and　who　was
calmly；　softly　gliding　after　them。　　Hardly　a　word　was　uttered；　but　of
all　the　many　heartfelt　thoughts　that　had　passed　while　the　face　was
pressed　into　Margaret's　pillow；　and　her　sympathising　arms　round　the
neck；　surely　none　was　ever　deeper；　than　was　his　prayer　and　vow　that
his　affection　should　be　like　hers；　unearthly；　and　therefore　enduring。

The　embrace　was　all；　Margaret　must　not　be　agitated；　and；　indeed；　the
events　of　the　day　had　been　too　much　for　her；　and　the　ensuing　morning
brought　the　fluttering　of　heart　and　prostration　of　strength；　no
longer　a　novelty　and　occasion　of　immediate　terror；　but　the　token　of
the　waning　power　of　life。

Till　she　was　better；　her　father　had　no　thoughts　for　aught　else；　but；
as　with　many　another　invalid；　the　relief　from　present　distress　was　as
cheering　as　if　it　had　been　recovery；　and　ere　night；　her　placid　look
of　repose　had　returned；　and　she　was　devising　pretty　greetings　for　her
newest　Daisy。

Perhaps　the　sobering　effect　of　these　hours　of　anxiety　was　in　Norman's
favour；　on　entering　into　conversation　with　his　father。　　Those
visions；　which　had　had　their　swing　the　night　before；　belonged　to　the
earlier；　more　untamed　period　of　Dr。　May's　life；　and　had　melted　away
in　the　dim　room；　made　sacred　by　lingering　mementos　of　his　wife；　and
in　the　sound　of　that　panting　breath　and　throbbing　heart。　　His
vehemence　had　been；　after　all；　chiefly　against　his　own　misgivings；
and　when　he　heard　of　his　son's　resolution；　and　Meta's　more　than
acquiescence；　he　was　greatly　touched；　and　recurred　to　his　kind；
sorrowful　promise；　that　he　would　never　be　a　stumbling…block　in　the
path　of　his　children。　　Still　he　owned　himself　greatly　allured　by　the
career　proposed　by　Lord　Cosham；　and　thought　Norman　should　consider
the　opportunities　of　doing　good　in；　perhaps；　a　still　more　important
and　extensive　field　than　that　which　he　had　chosen。

〃Time　was　that　I　should　have　grasped　at　such　a　prospect；〃　said
Norman；　〃but　I　am　not　the　man　for　it。　　I　have　too　much　ambition；　and
too　little　humility。　　You　know；　father；　how　often　you　have　had　to
come　to　my　rescue；　when　I　was　running　after　success　as　my　prime
object。〃

〃Vanity　fair　is　a　dangerous　place；　but　you　who　have　sound　principles
and　pure　motives〃

〃How　long　would　my　motives　be　pure？〃　said　Norman。　　〃Rivalry　and
party…spirit　make　me　distrust　my　motives；　and　then　my　principles　feel
the　shock。　　Other　men　are　marked　by　station　for　such　trials；　and　may
be　carried　through　them；　but　I　am　not。〃

〃Yet　some　of　these　men　are　far　from　your　equals。〃

〃Not　perhaps　in　speechifying；〃　said　Norman；　smiling；　〃but　in
steadiness　of　aim；　in　patience；　in　callousness；　in　seeing　one　side　of
the　question　at　once。〃

〃You　judge　rightly　for　your　own　peace；　you　will　be　the　happier；　I
always　doubted　whether　you　had　nerve　to　make　your　wits　available。〃

〃It　may　be　cowardice；〃　said　Norman；　〃but　I　think　not。　　I　could　burn
for　the　combat；　and　if　I　had　no　scruples；　I　could　enjoy　bearing　down
such　as〃

Of　course　Dr。　May　burst　in　with　a　political　name；　and〃I　wish　you
were　at　him！〃

〃Whether　I　could　is　another　matter；〃　said　Norman；　laughing；　〃but　the
fact　is；　that　I　stand　pledged；　and　if　I　embraced　what　to　me　would　be
a　worldly　career；　I　should　be　running　into　temptation；　and　could　not
expect　to　be　shielded　from　it。〃

〃Your　old　rule；〃　said　Dr。　May。　　〃Seek　to　be　less　rather　than　more。
But　there　is　another　choice。　　Why　not　a　parsonage　at　home？〃

〃Pleasant　parishes　are　not　in　the　same　need；〃　said　Norman。

〃I　wonder　what　poor　old　Rivers　would　say　to　you；　if　he　knew　what　you
want　to　do　with　his　daughter！　　Brought　up　as　she　has　beento　expose
her　to　the　roughness　of　a　colonial　life；　such　as　I　should　hesitate
about　for　your　sisters。〃

〃It　is　her　own　ardent　desire。〃

〃True；　but　are　girlish　enthusiasms　to　be　trusted？　　Take　care；　Norman；
take　care　of　hershe　is　a　bit　of　the　choicest　porcelain　of　human
kind；　and　not　to　be　rudely　dealt　with。〃

〃No；　indeed；　but　she　has　the　brave　enterprising　temper；　to　which　I
fully　believe　that　actual　work；　in　a　good　cause；　is　far　preferable　to
what　she　calls　idleness。　　I　do　not　believe　that　we　are　likely　to　meet
with　more　hardship　than　she　would　gladly　encounter；　and　would　almost…
…nay；　quite　enjoy。〃

〃You　do　not　know　what　your　aunt　has　had　to　go　through。〃

〃A　few　years　make　a　great　difference　in　a　colony。　　Still；　it　may　be
right　for　me　to　go　out　alone　and　judge　for　her；　but　we　shall　know
more　if　my　aunt　comes　home。〃

〃Yes；　I　could　trust　a　good　deal　to　her。　　She　has　much　of　your
mother's　sense。　　Well；　you　must　settle　it　as　you　can　with　Meta's
people！　　I　do　not　think　they　love　the　pretty　creature　better　than　I
have　done　from　the　first　minute　we　saw　herdon't　you　remember　it；
Norman？〃

〃Remember　it？　　Do　I　not？　　From　the　frosted　cedar　downwards！　　It　was
the　first　gem　of　spring　in　that　dreary　winter。　　What　a　Fairyland　the
Grange　was　to　me！〃

〃You　may　nearly　say　the　same　of　me；〃　confessed　Dr。　May；　smiling；　〃the
sight　of　that　happy　little　sunny　spirit；　full　of　sympathy　and
sweetness；　always　sent　me　brighter　on　my　way。　　Wherever　you　may　be；
Norman；　I　am　glad　you　have　her；　being　one　apt　to　need　a　pocket
sunbeam。〃

〃I　hope　my　tendencies　are　in　no　danger　of　depressing　her！〃　said
Norman；　startled。　　〃If　so〃

〃No　such　thingshe　will　make　a　different　man　of　you。　　You　have　been
depressed　bythat　early　shock；　and　the　gap　at　our　own　firesideall
that　we　have　shared　together；　Norman。　　To　see　you　begin　on　a　new
score；　with　a　bright　home　of　your　own；　is　the　best　in　this　world　that
I　could　wish　for　you；　though　I　shall　live　over　my　own　twenty…two
years　in　thinking　of　you；　and　that　sweet　little　fairy。　　But　now　go；
Normanshe　will　be　watching　for　you　and　news　of　Margaret。　　Give　her
all　sorts　of　love　from　me。〃