the daisy chain, or aspirations-第167节
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dress; and you must be a good child; and come down to me。〃
The playfulness ill suited the wan; worn face that seemed to have
caught a gray tint from her rich poplin; her full toilet making the
contrast almost more painful; and; as she closed the door; her
brother could only exclaim; 〃Poor Flora!〃
〃She is so kind;〃 said the voice of the white figure that moved
towards him。 〃Oh; if we could comfort her!〃
〃I trust to her own kindness working comfort to her; at last;〃 said
Norman。 〃But is she often thus?〃
〃Whenever she is not bearing up for George's sake;〃 said Meta。 〃She
never says anything when she is alone with me; only she does not
struggle with her looks。〃
〃It must be very trying for you。〃
〃Nay; I feel grateful to her for even so far relaxing the restraint。
If I could but do her any good。〃
〃You cannot help doing her good;〃 said Norman。
Meta sighed; and shook her head slightly; as she said; 〃She is so
gentle and considerate。 I think this has been no fresh pain to her
to…day; but I cannot tell。 The whole day has been a strange
intermixture。〃
〃The two strands of joy and grief have been very closely twisted;〃
said Norman。 〃That rose is shedding its fragrant leaves in its
glory; and there is much that should have chastened the overflowing
gladness of to…day。〃
〃As I was thinking;〃 whispered Meta; venturing nearer to him; and
looking into his face with the sweet reliance of union in thought。
She meant him to proceed; but he paused; saying; 〃You were thinking…〃
〃I had rather hear it from you。〃
〃Was it not that we were taught to…day what is enduring; and gives
true permanence and blessedness to suchto what there was between
Ernescliffe and Margaret?〃
Her dewy eyes; and face of deep emotion; owned that he had
interpreted her thought。
〃Theirs would; indeed; be a disheartening example;〃 he said; 〃if it
did not show the strength and peace that distance; sickness; death;
cannot destroy。〃
〃Yes。 To see that church making Margaret happy as she lies smiling
on her couch; is a lesson of lessons。〃
〃That what is hallowed must be blest;〃 said Norman; 〃whatever the
sundry and manifold changes。〃
Each was far too humble to deny aloud any inequality with the
goodness of Alan and Margaret; knowing that it would be at once
disputed; trusting to time to prevent the over…estimate; and each
believing the other was the one to bring the blessing。
〃But; Meta;〃 said Norman; 〃have you heard nothing ofof the elders?〃
〃Oh; yes;〃 said Meta; smiling; 〃have not you?〃
〃I have seen no one。〃
〃I have!〃 said Meta merrily。 〃Uncle Cosham is delighted。 That
speech of yours has captivated him。 He calls me a wise little woman
to have found out your first…rate abilities。 There's for you; sir。〃
〃I don't understand it! Surely he must be aware of my intentions?〃
〃He said nothing about them; but; of course; Dr。 May must have
mentioned them。〃
〃I should have thought so; but I cannot suppose〃
〃That he would be willing to let me go;〃 said Meta。 〃But then you
know he cannot help it;〃 added she; with a roguish look; at finding
herself making one of her saucy independent speeches。
〃I believe you are taking a would…be missionary instead of Norman
May!〃 he answered; with a sort of teasing sweetness。
〃All would…be missionaries did not make dear papa so fond of them;〃
said Meta; very low; 〃and you would not be Norman May without such
purposes。〃
〃The purpose was not inspired at first by the highest motive;〃 said
Norman; 〃but it brought me peace; and; after the kind of dedication
that I inwardly made of myself in my time of trouble; it would take
some weighty reason; amounting to a clear duty; or physical
impossibility; to make me think I ought to turn back。 I believe〃
the tears rose to his eyes; and he brought out the words with
difficulty〃that; if this greatest of all joys were likely to hinder
me from my calling; I ought to seek strength to regard it as a
temptation; and to forgo it。〃
〃You ought; if it were so;〃 said Meta; nevertheless holding him
tighter。 〃I could not bear to keep back a soldier。 If this were
last year; and I had any tie or duty here; it would be very hard。
But no one needs me; and if the health I have always had be continued
to me; I don't think I shall be much in the way。 There;〃drawing
back a little; and trying to laugh off her feeling〃only tell me at
once if you think me still too much of a fine lady。〃
〃Iyoua fine lady! Did anything ever give you the impression that
I did?〃
〃I shall not get poor Harry into a scrape; shall I? He told me that
you said so; last spring; and I feared you judged me too truly。〃
After a few exclamations of utter surprise; it flashed on Norman。 〃I
know; I knowHarry interpreted my words in his own blunt fashion!〃
〃Then you did say something like it?〃
〃No; butbut In short; Meta; these sailors' imaginations go to
great lengths。 Harry had guessed more than I knew myself; before he
had sailed; and taxed me with it。 It was a subject I could not bear
then; and I answered that you were too far beyond my hopes。〃
〃Six years ago!〃 said Meta slowly; blushing deeper and deeper。 〃Some
eyes saw it all that time; and youand;〃 she added; laughing; though
rather tearfully; 〃I should never have known it; if Tom had not taken
me through the plantations!〃
〃Not if I had not discovered that your preferences did not lie〃
〃Among boudoirs and balls?〃 said Meta。 〃Harry was right。 You
thought me a fine lady after all。〃
The gay taunt was cut short by a tap at the door; and Flora looked
in。
〃Dr。 Spencer has brought your things; Norman。 I am sorry to disturb
youbut come down; MetaI ran away very uncivilly to fetch you。 I
hope it is not too cruel;〃 as she drew Meta's arm into her own; and
added; 〃I have not been able speak to George。〃
Meta suspected that; in the wish to spare her; Flora had abstained
from seeking him。
The evening went off like any other eveningpeople ate and talked;
thought Mrs。 Rivers looking very ill; and Miss Rivers very pretty
Flora forced herself into being very friendly to Sir Henry;
commiserating the disappointment to which she had led him; and she
hoped that he suspected the state of affairs; though Tom; no longer
supplanted by his elder brother; pursued Meta into the sheltered
nook; where Flora had favoured her seclusion; to apologise for having
left her to the guidance of poor Norman; whose head was with the
blackamoors。 It was all Harry's fault。
〃Nonsense; Tom;〃 said Harry; 〃don't you think Norman is better
company than you any day?〃
〃Then why did you not walk him off instead of me?〃 said Tom; turning
round sharply。
〃Out of consideration for Meta。 She will tell you that she was very
much obliged to me〃
Harry checked himself; for Meta was colouring so painfully that his
own sunburned face caught the glow。 He pushed Tom's slight figure
aside with a commanding move of his broad hand; and said; 〃I beg your
pardon; upon my word; though I don't know what for。〃
〃Nor I;〃 said Meta; rallying herself; and smiling。 〃You have no
pardon to beg。 You will know it all to…morrow。〃
〃Then I know it now;〃 said Harry; sheltering his face by leaning over
the back of a chair; and taming the hearty gaiety of his voice。
〃Well done; Meta; there's nothing like old June in all the world!
You may take my word for it; and I knew you would have the sense to
find it out。〃
They were well out of sight; and Meta only answered by a good tight
squeeze of his kind hand between both her own。 Tom; suddenly
recovering from his displeasure at being thrust aside; whisked round;
dropped on a footstool before Meta; locked up in her face; and said;
〃Hallo!〃 in such utter amazement that there was nothing for it but to
laugh more uncontrollably than was convenient。 〃Come along; Tom;〃
said Harry; pulling him up by force; 〃she does not want any of your
nonsense。 We will not plague her now。〃
〃Thank you; Harry;〃 said Meta。 〃I cannot talk rationally just yet。
Don't think me unkind; Tom。〃
Tom sat in a sort of trance all the rest of the evening。
Lord Cosham talked to Norman; who felt as if he were being patronised
on false pretences; drew into his shell; and displayed none of his
〃first…rate abilities。〃
Dr。 Spencer discussed his architecture with the archdeacon; but his
black eyes roamed heedfully after the young gentleman and lady; in
the opposite corners of the room; and; as he drove home afterwards
with the youths; he hummed scraps of Scottish songs; and indulged in
silent smiles。
Those at home had been far more demonstrative。 Dr。 May had arrived;
declaring himself the proudest doctor in her Majesty's dominions; and
Ethel needed nothing but his face to explain why; and tell her that
dear old June's troubles were over; and their pretty little Meta was
their owna joy little looked for to attend their foundation…stone。
The dreaded conference with Lord Cosham had proved highly gratifying。
There might be something in the fact that he could not help it; which
assisted in his ready acquiescence; but he was also a sensible right…
minded man; who thought that the largeness of Meta's fortune was no
reason that it should be d