the daisy chain, or aspirations-第154节
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account; without failing in her own eyes。
She made time for everything; and though; between business and
fashion; she seemed to undertake more than mortal could accomplish;
it was all effected; and excellently。 She did; indeed; sigh over the
briefness of the time that she could bestow on her child or on home
correspondence; and declared that she should rejoice in rest; but; at
the same time; her achievements were a positive pleasure to her。
Meta; in the meantime; had been living passively on the most
affectionate terms with her brother and sister; and though often
secretly yearning after the dear old father; whose darling she had
been; and longing for power of usefulness; she took it on trust that
her present lot had been ordered for her; and was thankful; like the
bird of Dr。 May's fable; for the pleasures in her pathculling sweet
morals; and precious thoughts out of book; painting or concert;
occasions for Christian charities in each courtesy of society; and
opportunities for cheerful self…denial and submission; whenever any
little wish was thwarted。
So Norman said she had turned into a fine lady! It was a sudden and
surprising intimation; and made a change in the usually bright and
calm current of her thoughts。 She was not aware that there had been
any alteration in herself; and it was a revelation that set her to
examine where she had changedpoor little thing! She was not angry;
she did not resent the charge; she took it for granted that; coming
from such a source; it must be true and reasonableand what did it
mean? Did they think her too gay; or neglectful of old friends?
What had they been saying to Harry about her?
〃Ah!〃 thought Meta; 〃I understand it。 I am living a life of ease and
uselessness; and with his higher aims and nobler purposes; he shrinks
from the frivolities among which I am cast。 I saw his saddened
countenance among our gaieties; and I know that to deep minds there
is heaviness in the midst of display。 He withdraws from the follies
that have no charms for him; and Iought I to be able to help being
amused? I don't seek these things; but; perhaps; I ought to avoid
them more than I do。 If I could be quite clear what is right; I
should not care what effort I made。 But I was born to be one of
those who have trial of riches; and such blessed tasks are not my
portion。 But if he sees the vanities creeping into my heart; I
should be grateful for that warning。〃
So meditated Meta; as she copied one of her own drawings of the
Grange; for her dear old governess; Mrs。 Larpent; while each line and
tint recalled the comments of her fond amateur father; and the
scenery carried her home; in spite of the street sounds; and the
scratching of Flora's pen; coursing over note…paper。 Presently Sir
Henry Walkinghame called; bringing a beautiful bouquet。
〃Delicious;〃 cried Meta。 〃See; Flora; it is in good time; for those
vases were sadly shabby。〃
She began at once to arrange the flowers; a task that seemed what she
was born for; and the choice roses and geraniums acquired fresh grace
as she placed them in the slender glasses and classic vases; but
Flora's discerning eyes perceived some mortification on the part of
the gentleman; and; on his departure; playfully reproached Meta for
ingratitude。
〃Did we not thank him? I thought I did them all due honour; actually
using the Dresden bowl。〃
〃You little wretch! quite insensible to the sentiment of the thing。〃
〃Sentiment! One would think you had been reading about the language
of flowers!〃
〃Whatever there was; poor Sir Henry did not mean it for the Dresden
bowl or Bohemian glass。〃
〃Flora! do pray tell me whether you are in fun?〃
〃You ridiculous child!〃 said Flora; kissing her earnest forehead;
ringing the bell; and gathering up her papers; as she walked out of
the room; and gave her notes to the servant。
〃What does she mean? Is it play? Oh; no; a hint would be far more
like her。 But I hope it is nonsense。 He is very kind and pleasant;
and I should not know what to do。〃
Instances of his complaisance towards herself rose before her; so as
to excite some warmth and gratitude。 Her lonely heart thrilled at
the idea of being again the best beloved; and her energetic spirit
bounded at the thought of being no longer condemned to a life of idle
ease。 Still it was too new a light to her to be readily accepted;
after she had looked on him so long; merely as a familiar of the
house; attentive to her; because she fell to his share; when Flora
was occupied。 She liked him; decidedly; she could possibly do more;
but she was far more inclined to dread; than to desire; any
disturbance of their present terms of intercourse。
〃However;〃 thought she; 〃I must see my way。 If he should have any
such thing in his head; to go on as we do now would be committing
myself; and I will not do that; unless I am sure it is right。 Oh;
papa; you would settle it for me! But I will have it out with Flora。
She will find out what I cannothow far he is a man for whom one
ought to care。 I do not think Norman liked him; but then Norman has
so keen a sense of the world…touched。 I suppose I am that! If any
other life did but seem appointed for me; but one cannot tell what is
thwarting providential leading; and if this be as good a man as
What would Ethel say? If I could but talk to Dr。 May! But Flora I
will catch; before I see him again; that I may know how to behave。〃
Catching Flora was not the easiest thing in the world; among her
multifarious occupations; but Meta was not the damsel to lose an
opportunity for want of decision。
Flora saw what was coming; and was annoyed with herself for having
given the alarm; but; after all; it must have come some time or
other; though she had rather that Meta had been more involved first。
It should be premised that Mrs。 Rivers had no notion of the degree of
attachment felt by her brother for Meta; she only knew that Lady
Leonora had a general distrust of her family; and she felt it a point
of honour to promote no dangerous meetings; and to encourage Sir
Henrya connection who would be most valuable; both as conferring
importance upon George in the county; and as being himself related to
persons of high influence; whose interest might push on her brothers。
Preferment for Richard; promotion for Harry; nay; diplomatic
appointments for Tom; came floating before her imagination; even
while she smiled at her Alnaschar visions。
But the tone of Meta; as she drew her almost forcibly into her room;
showed her that she had given a great shock to her basket。
〃Flora; if you would only give me a minute; and would tell me〃
〃What?〃 asked Flora; not inclined to spare her blushes。
〃Whether; whether you meant anything in earnest?〃
〃My dear little goose; did no one ever make an innocent joke in their
lives before?〃
〃It was very silly of me;〃 said Meta; 〃but you gave me a terrible
fright。〃
〃Was it so very terrible; poor little bird?〃 said Flora; in
commiseration。 〃Well then; you may safely think of him as a man tame
about the house。 It was much prettier of you not to appropriate the
flowers; as any other damsel would have done。〃
〃Do you really and truly think〃 began Meta; but; from the colour of
her cheek and the timid resolution of her tone; Flora thought it
safest not to hear the interrogation; and answered; 〃I know what he
comes here forit is only as a refuge from his mother's friend; old
Lady Drummond; who would give the world to catch him for her
daughtersthat's all。 Put my nonsense out of your head; and be
yourself; my sweet one。〃
Flora had never gone so near an untruth; as when she led Meta to
believe this was the sole reason。 But; after all; what did Flora
herself know to the contrary?
Meta recovered her ease; and Flora marked; as weeks passed on; that
she grew more accustomed to Sir Henry's attentions。 A little while;
and she would find herself so far bound by the encouragement she had
given; that she could not reject him。
〃My dear;〃 said George; 〃when do you think of going down to take the
baby to the Grange? She looks dull; I think。〃
〃Really; I think it is hardly worth while to go down en masse;〃 said
Flora。 〃These last debates may be important; and it is a bad time to
quit one's post。 Don't you think so?〃
〃As you pleasethe train is a great bore。〃
〃And we will send the baby down the last day before we go to Ryde;
with Preston and Butts to take care of her。 We can't spare him to
take them down; till we shut up the house。 It is so much easier for
us to go to Portsmouth from hence。〃
The lurking conviction was that one confidential talk with Ethel
would cause the humming…bird to break the toils that were being wound
invisibly round her。 Ethel and her father knew nothing of the world;
and were so unreasonable in their requirements! Meta would consult
them all; and all her scruples would awaken; and perhaps Dr。 Spencer
might be interrogated on Sir Henry's life abroad; where Flora had a
suspicion that gossip had best not be raked up。
Not that she concealed anything positively known to her; or that she
was not acting just as she would have done by her own child。 She