the daisy chain, or aspirations-第154节

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account；　without　failing　in　her　own　eyes。

She　made　time　for　everything；　and　though；　between　business　and
fashion；　she　seemed　to　undertake　more　than　mortal　could　accomplish；
it　was　all　effected；　and　excellently。　　She　did；　indeed；　sigh　over　the
briefness　of　the　time　that　she　could　bestow　on　her　child　or　on　home
correspondence；　and　declared　that　she　should　rejoice　in　rest；　but；　at
the　same　time；　her　achievements　were　a　positive　pleasure　to　her。

Meta；　in　the　meantime；　had　been　living　passively　on　the　most
affectionate　terms　with　her　brother　and　sister；　and　though　often
secretly　yearning　after　the　dear　old　father；　whose　darling　she　had
been；　and　longing　for　power　of　usefulness；　she　took　it　on　trust　that
her　present　lot　had　been　ordered　for　her；　and　was　thankful；　like　the
bird　of　Dr。　May's　fable；　for　the　pleasures　in　her　pathculling　sweet
morals；　and　precious　thoughts　out　of　book；　painting　or　concert；
occasions　for　Christian　charities　in　each　courtesy　of　society；　and
opportunities　for　cheerful　self…denial　and　submission；　whenever　any
little　wish　was　thwarted。

So　Norman　said　she　had　turned　into　a　fine　lady！　　It　was　a　sudden　and
surprising　intimation；　and　made　a　change　in　the　usually　bright　and
calm　current　of　her　thoughts。　　She　was　not　aware　that　there　had　been
any　alteration　in　herself；　and　it　was　a　revelation　that　set　her　to
examine　where　she　had　changedpoor　little　thing！　　She　was　not　angry；
she　did　not　resent　the　charge；　she　took　it　for　granted　that；　coming
from　such　a　source；　it　must　be　true　and　reasonableand　what　did　it
mean？　　Did　they　think　her　too　gay；　or　neglectful　of　old　friends？
What　had　they　been　saying　to　Harry　about　her？

〃Ah！〃　thought　Meta；　〃I　understand　it。　　I　am　living　a　life　of　ease　and
uselessness；　and　with　his　higher　aims　and　nobler　purposes；　he　shrinks
from　the　frivolities　among　which　I　am　cast。　　I　saw　his　saddened
countenance　among　our　gaieties；　and　I　know　that　to　deep　minds　there
is　heaviness　in　the　midst　of　display。　　He　withdraws　from　the　follies
that　have　no　charms　for　him；　and　Iought　I　to　be　able　to　help　being
amused？　　I　don't　seek　these　things；　but；　perhaps；　I　ought　to　avoid
them　more　than　I　do。　　If　I　could　be　quite　clear　what　is　right；　I
should　not　care　what　effort　I　made。　　But　I　was　born　to　be　one　of
those　who　have　trial　of　riches；　and　such　blessed　tasks　are　not　my
portion。　　But　if　he　sees　the　vanities　creeping　into　my　heart；　I
should　be　grateful　for　that　warning。〃

So　meditated　Meta；　as　she　copied　one　of　her　own　drawings　of　the
Grange；　for　her　dear　old　governess；　Mrs。　Larpent；　while　each　line　and
tint　recalled　the　comments　of　her　fond　amateur　father；　and　the
scenery　carried　her　home；　in　spite　of　the　street　sounds；　and　the
scratching　of　Flora's　pen；　coursing　over　note…paper。　　Presently　Sir
Henry　Walkinghame　called；　bringing　a　beautiful　bouquet。

〃Delicious；〃　cried　Meta。　　〃See；　Flora；　it　is　in　good　time；　for　those
vases　were　sadly　shabby。〃

She　began　at　once　to　arrange　the　flowers；　a　task　that　seemed　what　she
was　born　for；　and　the　choice　roses　and　geraniums　acquired　fresh　grace
as　she　placed　them　in　the　slender　glasses　and　classic　vases；　but
Flora's　discerning　eyes　perceived　some　mortification　on　the　part　of
the　gentleman；　and；　on　his　departure；　playfully　reproached　Meta　for
ingratitude。

〃Did　we　not　thank　him？　　I　thought　I　did　them　all　due　honour；　actually
using　the　Dresden　bowl。〃

〃You　little　wretch！　quite　insensible　to　the　sentiment　of　the　thing。〃

〃Sentiment！　　One　would　think　you　had　been　reading　about　the　language
of　flowers！〃

〃Whatever　there　was；　poor　Sir　Henry　did　not　mean　it　for　the　Dresden
bowl　or　Bohemian　glass。〃

〃Flora！　do　pray　tell　me　whether　you　are　in　fun？〃

〃You　ridiculous　child！〃　said　Flora；　kissing　her　earnest　forehead；
ringing　the　bell；　and　gathering　up　her　papers；　as　she　walked　out　of
the　room；　and　gave　her　notes　to　the　servant。

〃What　does　she　mean？　　Is　it　play？　　Oh；　no；　a　hint　would　be　far　more
like　her。　　But　I　hope　it　is　nonsense。　　He　is　very　kind　and　pleasant；
and　I　should　not　know　what　to　do。〃

Instances　of　his　complaisance　towards　herself　rose　before　her；　so　as
to　excite　some　warmth　and　gratitude。　　Her　lonely　heart　thrilled　at
the　idea　of　being　again　the　best　beloved；　and　her　energetic　spirit
bounded　at　the　thought　of　being　no　longer　condemned　to　a　life　of　idle
ease。　　Still　it　was　too　new　a　light　to　her　to　be　readily　accepted；
after　she　had　looked　on　him　so　long；　merely　as　a　familiar　of　the
house；　attentive　to　her；　because　she　fell　to　his　share；　when　Flora
was　occupied。　　She　liked　him；　decidedly；　she　could　possibly　do　more；
but　she　was　far　more　inclined　to　dread；　than　to　desire；　any
disturbance　of　their　present　terms　of　intercourse。

〃However；〃　thought　she；　〃I　must　see　my　way。　　If　he　should　have　any
such　thing　in　his　head；　to　go　on　as　we　do　now　would　be　committing
myself；　and　I　will　not　do　that；　unless　I　am　sure　it　is　right。　　　Oh；
papa；　you　would　settle　it　for　me！　　But　I　will　have　it　out　with　Flora。
She　will　find　out　what　I　cannothow　far　he　is　a　man　for　whom　one
ought　to　care。　　I　do　not　think　Norman　liked　him；　but　then　Norman　has
so　keen　a　sense　of　the　world…touched。　　I　suppose　I　am　that！　　If　any
other　life　did　but　seem　appointed　for　me；　but　one　cannot　tell　what　is
thwarting　providential　leading；　and　if　this　be　as　good　a　man　as
What　would　Ethel　say？　　If　I　could　but　talk　to　Dr。　May！　　But　Flora　I
will　catch；　before　I　see　him　again；　that　I　may　know　how　to　behave。〃

Catching　Flora　was　not　the　easiest　thing　in　the　world；　among　her
multifarious　occupations；　but　Meta　was　not　the　damsel　to　lose　an
opportunity　for　want　of　decision。

Flora　saw　what　was　coming；　and　was　annoyed　with　herself　for　having
given　the　alarm；　but；　after　all；　it　must　have　come　some　time　or
other；　though　she　had　rather　that　Meta　had　been　more　involved　first。

It　should　be　premised　that　Mrs。　Rivers　had　no　notion　of　the　degree　of
attachment　felt　by　her　brother　for　Meta；　she　only　knew　that　Lady
Leonora　had　a　general　distrust　of　her　family；　and　she　felt　it　a　point
of　honour　to　promote　no　dangerous　meetings；　and　to　encourage　Sir
Henrya　connection　who　would　be　most　valuable；　both　as　conferring
importance　upon　George　in　the　county；　and　as　being　himself　related　to
persons　of　high　influence；　whose　interest　might　push　on　her　brothers。
Preferment　for　Richard；　promotion　for　Harry；　nay；　diplomatic
appointments　for　Tom；　came　floating　before　her　imagination；　even
while　she　smiled　at　her　Alnaschar　visions。

But　the　tone　of　Meta；　as　she　drew　her　almost　forcibly　into　her　room；
showed　her　that　she　had　given　a　great　shock　to　her　basket。

〃Flora；　if　you　would　only　give　me　a　minute；　and　would　tell　me〃

〃What？〃　asked　Flora；　not　inclined　to　spare　her　blushes。

〃Whether；　whether　you　meant　anything　in　earnest？〃

〃My　dear　little　goose；　did　no　one　ever　make　an　innocent　joke　in　their
lives　before？〃

〃It　was　very　silly　of　me；〃　said　Meta；　〃but　you　gave　me　a　terrible
fright。〃

〃Was　it　so　very　terrible；　poor　little　bird？〃　said　Flora；　in
commiseration。　　〃Well　then；　you　may　safely　think　of　him　as　a　man　tame
about　the　house。　　It　was　much　prettier　of　you　not　to　appropriate　the
flowers；　as　any　other　damsel　would　have　done。〃

〃Do　you　really　and　truly　think〃　began　Meta；　but；　from　the　colour　of
her　cheek　and　the　timid　resolution　of　her　tone；　Flora　thought　it
safest　not　to　hear　the　interrogation；　and　answered；　〃I　know　what　he
comes　here　forit　is　only　as　a　refuge　from　his　mother's　friend；　old
Lady　Drummond；　who　would　give　the　world　to　catch　him　for　her
daughtersthat's　all。　　Put　my　nonsense　out　of　your　head；　and　be
yourself；　my　sweet　one。〃

Flora　had　never　gone　so　near　an　untruth；　as　when　she　led　Meta　to
believe　this　was　the　sole　reason。　　But；　after　all；　what　did　Flora
herself　know　to　the　contrary？

Meta　recovered　her　ease；　and　Flora　marked；　as　weeks　passed　on；　that
she　grew　more　accustomed　to　Sir　Henry's　attentions。　　A　little　while；
and　she　would　find　herself　so　far　bound　by　the　encouragement　she　had
given；　that　she　could　not　reject　him。

〃My　dear；〃　said　George；　〃when　do　you　think　of　going　down　to　take　the
baby　to　the　Grange？　　She　looks　dull；　I　think。〃

〃Really；　I　think　it　is　hardly　worth　while　to　go　down　en　masse；〃　said
Flora。　　〃These　last　debates　may　be　important；　and　it　is　a　bad　time　to
quit　one's　post。　　Don't　you　think　so？〃

〃As　you　pleasethe　train　is　a　great　bore。〃

〃And　we　will　send　the　baby　down　the　last　day　before　we　go　to　Ryde；
with　Preston　and　Butts　to　take　care　of　her。　　We　can't　spare　him　to
take　them　down；　till　we　shut　up　the　house。　　It　is　so　much　easier　for
us　to　go　to　Portsmouth　from　hence。〃

The　lurking　conviction　was　that　one　confidential　talk　with　Ethel
would　cause　the　humming…bird　to　break　the　toils　that　were　being　wound
invisibly　round　her。　　Ethel　and　her　father　knew　nothing　of　the　world；
and　were　so　unreasonable　in　their　requirements！　　Meta　would　consult
them　all；　and　all　her　scruples　would　awaken；　and　perhaps　Dr。　Spencer
might　be　interrogated　on　Sir　Henry's　life　abroad；　where　Flora　had　a
suspicion　that　gossip　had　best　not　be　raked　up。

Not　that　she　concealed　anything　positively　known　to　her；　or　that　she
was　not　acting　just　as　she　would　have　done　by　her　own　child。　　She