the daisy chain, or aspirations-第141节

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thinks；〃　in　a　manner　that　made　her　appear　merely　the　dutiful　echo　of
his　sentiments。

In　an　early　letter；　Flora　mentioned　how　she　had　been　reminded　of　poor
Harry；　by　finding　Miss　Walkinghame's　card。　　That　lady　lived　with　her
mother　at　Richmond；　and；　on　returning　the　visit；　Flora　was　warmly
welcomed　by　the　kind　old　Lady　Walkinghame；　who　insisted　on　her
bringing　her　baby　and　spending　a　long　day。　　The　sisters…in…law　had
been　enchanted　with　Miss　Walkinghame；　whose　manners；　wrote　Flora；
certainly　merited　papa's　encomium。

On　the　promised　〃long　day；〃　they　found　an　unexpected　addition　to　the
party；　Sir　Henry　Walkinghame；　who　had　newly　returned　from　the
continent。　　〃A　fine…looking；　agreeable　man；　about　five…and…thirty；〃
Flora　described　him；　〃very　lively　and　entertaining。　　He　talked　a
great　deal　of　Dr。　Spencer；　and　of　the　life　in　the　caves　at　Thebes；
and　he　asked　me　whether　that　unfortunate　place；　Cocksmoor；　did　not
owe　a　great　deal　to　me；　or　to　one　of　my　sisters。　　I　left　Meta　to　tell
him　that　story；　and　they　became　very　sociable　over　it。〃

A　day　or　two　after〃Sir　Henry　Walkinghame　has　been　dining　with　us。
He　has　a　very　good　voice；　and　we　had　some　delightful　music　in　the
evening。〃

By　and　by　Sir　Henry　was　the　second　cavalier；　when　they　went　to　an
oratorio；　and　Meta's　letter　overflowed　with　the　descriptions　she　had
heard　from　him　of　Italian　church　music。　　He　always　went　to　Rome　for
Easter；　and　had　been　going　as　usual；　this　spring；　but　he　lingered；
and；　for　once；　remained　in　England；　where　he　had　only　intended　to
spend　a　few　days　on　necessary　business。

The　Easter　recess　was　not　spent　at　the　Grange；　but　at　Lady　Leonora's
pretty　house　in　Surrey。　　She　had　invited　the　party　in　so　pressing　a
manner　that　Flora　did　not　think　it　right　to　decline。　　Meta　expressed
some　disappointment　at　missing　Easter　among　her　school…children；　but
she　said　a　great　deal　about　the　primroses　and　the　green　corn…fields；
and　nightingalesall　which　Ethel　would　have　set　down　to　her　trick　of
universal　content；　if　it　had　not　appeared　that　Sir　Henry　was　there
too；　and　shared　in　all　the　delicious　rides。

〃What　would　Ethel　say；〃　wrote　Flora；　〃to　have　our　little　Meta　as　Lady
of　the　Manor　of　Cocksmoor？　　He　has　begun　to　talk　about　Drydale；　and
there　are　various　suspicious　circumstances　that　Lady　Leonora　marks
with　the　eyes　of　a　discreet　dowager。　　It　was　edifying　to　see　how；
from　smiles；　we　came　to　looks；　and　by　and　by　to　confidential　talks；
which　have　made　her　entirely　forgive　me　for　having　so　many　tall
brothers。　　Poor　dear　old　Mr。　Rivers！　　Lady　Leonora　owns　that　it　was
the　best　thing　possible　for　that　sweet　girl　that　he　did　not　live　any
longer　to　keep　her　in　seclusion；　it　is　so　delightful　to　see　her
appreciated　as　she　deserves；　and　with　her　beauty　and　fortune；　she
might　make　any　choice　she　pleases。　　In　fact；　I　believe　Lady　Leonora
would　like　to　look　still　higher　for　her；　but　this　would　be　mere
ambition；　and　we　should　be　far　better　satisfied　with　such　a
connection　as　this；　founded　on　mutual　and　increasing　esteem；　with　a
man　so　well　suited　to　her；　and　fixing　her　so　close　to　us。　　You　must
not；　however；　launch　out　into　an　ocean　of　possibilities；　for　the　good
aunt　has　only　infected　me　with　the　castle…building　propensities　of
chaperons；　and　Meta　is　perfectly　unconscious；　looking　on　him　as　too
hopelessly　middle…aged；　to　entertain　any　such　evil　designs；　avowing
freely　that　she　likes　him；　and　treating　him　very　nearly　as　she　does
papa。　　It　is　my　business　to　keep　'our　aunt；'　who；　between　ourselves；
has；　below　the　surface；　the　vulgarity　of　nature　that　high…breeding
cannot　eradicate；　from　startling　the　little　humming…bird；　before　the
net　has　been　properly　twined　round　her　bright　little　heart。　　As　far
as　I　can　see；　he　is　much　smitten；　but　very　cautious　in　his
approaches；　and　he　is　wise。〃

Margaret　did　not　know　what　dismay　she　conveyed；　as　she　handed　this
letter　to　her　sister。　　There　was　no　rest　for　Ethel　till　she　could　be
alone　with　her　father。　　〃Could　nothing　prevent　it？　　Could　not　Flora
be　told　of　Mr。　Rivers's　wishes？〃　she　asked。

〃His　wishes　would　have　lain　this　way。〃

〃I　do　not　know　that。〃

〃It　is　no　concern　of　ours。　　There　is　nothing　objectionable　here；　and
though　I　can't　say　it　is　not　a　disappointment；　it　ought　not　to　be。
The　long　and　short　of　it　is；　that　I　never　ought　to　have　told　you
anything　about　it。〃

〃Poor　Norman！〃

〃Absurd！　　The　lad　is　hardly　one…and…twenty。　　Very　few　marry　a　first
love。〃　　（Ah；　Ethel！）　　〃Poor　old　Rivers　only　mentioned　it　as　a　refuge
from　fortune…hunters；　and　it　stands　to　reason　that　he　would　have
preferred　this。　　Anyway；　it　is　awkward　for　a　man　with　empty　pockets
to　marry　an　heiress；　and　it　is　wholesomer　for　him　to　work　for　his
living。　　Better　that　it　should　be　out　of　his　head　at　once；　if　it　were
there　at　all。　　I　trust　it　was　all　our　fancy。　　I　would　not　have　him
grieved　now　for　worlds；　when　his　heart　is　sore。〃

〃Somehow；〃　said　Ethel；　〃though　he　is　depressed　and　silent；　I　like　it
better　than　I　did　last　Christmas。〃

〃Of　course；　when　we　were　laughing　out　of　the　bitterness　of　our
hearts；〃　said　Dr。　May；　sighing。　　〃It　is　a　luxury　to　let　oneself　alone
to　be　sorrowful。〃

Ethel　did　not　know　whether　she　desired　a　tete…a…tete　with　Norman　or
not。　　She　was　aware　that　he　had　seen　Flora's　letter；　and　she　did　not
believe　that　he　would　ever　mention　the　hopes　that　must　have　been
dashed　by　it；　or；　if　he　should　do　so；　how　could　she　ever　guard　her
father's　secret？　　At　least；　she　had　the　comfort　of　recognising　the
accustomed　Norman　in　his　manner；　low…spirited；　indeed；　and　more　than
ever　dreamy　and　melancholy；　but　not　in　the　unnatural　and　excited
state　that　had　made　her　unhappy　about　him。　　She　could　not　help
telling　Dr。　Spencer　that　this　was　much　more　the　real　brother。

〃I　dare　say；〃　was　the　answer；　not　quite　satisfactory　in　tone。

〃I　thought　you　would　like　it　better。〃

〃Truth　is　better　than　fiction；　certainly。　　But　I　am　afraid　he　has　a
tendency　to　morbid　self…contemplation；　and　you　ought　to　shake　him　out
of　it。〃

〃What　is　the　difference　between　self…contemplation　and　self…
examination？〃

〃The　difference　between　your　brother　and　yourself。　　Ah！　you　think
that　no　answer。　　Will　you　have　a　medical　simile？　　Self…examination
notes　the　symptoms　and　combats　them；　self…contemplation　does　as　I　did
when　I　was　unstrung　by　that　illness　at　Poonshedagore；　and　was　always
feeling　my　own　pulse。　　It　dwells　on　them；　and　perpetually　deplores
itself。　　Oh；　dear！　this　is　no　betterwhat　a　wretch　I　am。　　It　is
always　studying　its　deformities　in　a　moral　looking…glass。〃

〃Yes；　I　think　poor　Norman　does　that；　but　I　thought　it　right　and
humble。〃

〃The　humility　of　a　self…conscious　mind。　　It　is　the　very　reverse　of
your　father；　who　is　the　most　really　humble　man　in　existence。〃

〃Do　you　call　self…consciousness　a　fault？〃

〃No。　　I　call　it　a　misfortune。　　In　the　vain；　it　leads　to　prudent
vanity；　in　the　good；　to　a　painful　effort　of　humility。〃

〃I　don't　think　I　quite　understand　what　it　is。〃

〃No；　and　you　have　so　much　of　your　father　in　you；　that　you　never　will。
But　take　care　of　your　brother；　and　don't　let　his　brains　work。〃

How　Ethel　was　to　take　care　of　him　she　did　not　know；　she　could　only
keep　a　heedful　eye　on　him；　and　rejoice　when　he　took　Tom　out　for　a
long　walka　companion　certainly　not　likely　to　promote　the　working　of
the　brainbut　though　it　was　in　the　opposite　direction　to　Cocksmoor；
Tom　came　home　desperately　cross；　snubbed　Gertrude；　and　fagged　Aubrey；
but；　then；　as　Blanche　observed；　perhaps　that　was　only　because　his
trousers　were　splashed。

In　her　next　solitary　walk　to　Cocksmoor；　Norman　joined　Ethel。　　She　was
gratified；　but　she　could　not　think　of　one　safe　word　worth　saying　to
him；　and　for　a　mile　they　preserved　an　absolute　silence；　until　he
first　began；　〃Ethel；　I　have　been　thinking〃

〃That　you　have！〃　said　she；　between　hope　and　dread；　and　the　thrill　of
being　again　treated　as　his　friend。

〃I　want　to　consult　you。　　Don't　you　think　now　that　Richard　is　settled
at　home；　and　if　Tom　will　study　medicine；　that　I　could　be　spared。〃

〃Spared！〃　exclaimed　Ethel。　　〃You　are　not　much　at　home。〃

〃I　meant　more　than　my　present　absences。　　It　is　my　earnest　wish〃　he
paused；　and　the　continuation　took　her　by　surprise。　　〃Do　you　think　it
would　give　my　father　too　much　pain　to　part　with　me　as　a　missionary　to
New　Zealand？〃

She　could　only　gaze　at　him　in　mute　amazement。

〃Do　you　think　he　could　bear　it？〃　said　Norman　hastily。

〃He　would　consent；〃　she　replied。　　〃Oh；　Norman；　it　is　the　most
glorious　thing　man　can　do！　　How　I　wish　I　could　go　with　you。〃

〃Your　mission　is　here；〃　said　Norman　affectionately。

〃I　know　it　isI　am　contented　with　it；〃　said　Ethel；　〃but　oh！　Norman；
after　all　our　talks　about　races　and　gifts；　you　have　found　the　more
excellent　way。〃

〃Hush！　　Charity　finds　room　at　home；　and　mine　are　not　such　unmixed
motives　as　yours。〃

She　made　a　sound　of　inquiry。

〃I　cannot　tell　you　all。　　Some　you　shall　hear。　　I　am　weary　of　this
feverish　life　of　competition　and　controversy〃

〃I　thought　you　were　so　happy　with　your　fellowship。　　I　thought　Oxford
was　your　delight。〃

〃She　will　always　be　nearer　my　heart　than　any　place；　save　this。　　It　is
not　her　fault　that　I　am　not　like　the　simple　and　dutif