the daisy chain, or aspirations-第137节

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daring　at　first　to　speak；　but　sending　up　intense　mental　prayers　to
Him；　who　alone　could　bear　her　or　her　dear　father　through　their
affliction。　　Then　she　ventured　to　take　her　hand；　and　Margaret
returned　the　caress；　but　began　to　blame　herself　for　the　momentary
selfishness　that　had　allowed　her　brother's　loss　and　her　father's
grief　to　have　been　forgotten　in　her　own。　　Ethel's　〃oh！　no！　no！〃　did
not　console　her　for　this　which　seemed　the　most　present　sorrow；　but
the　flow　of　tears　was　so　gentle；　that　Ethel　trusted　that　they　were　a
relief。　　Ethel　herself　seemed　only　able　to　watch　her；　and　to　fear　for
her　father；　not　to　be　able　to　think　for　herself。

The　front　door　opened；　and　they　heard　Dr。　May's　step　hesitating　in
the　hall；　as　if　he　could　not　bear　to　come　in。

〃Go　to　him！〃　cried　Margaret；　wiping　off　her　tears。　　Ethel　stood　a
moment　in　the　doorway；　then　sprang　to　him；　and　was　clasped　in　his
arms。

〃You　know　it？〃　he　whispered。

〃Dr。　Spencer　told　us。　　Did　not　you　meet　him？〃

〃No。　　I　read　it　at　Bramshaw's　office。　　How〃　He　could　not　say　the
words；　but　he　looked　towards　the　room；　and　wrung　the　hand　he　held。

〃Quiet。　　Like　herself。　　Come。〃

He　threw　one　arm　round　Ethel；　and　laid　his　hand　on　her　head。　　〃How
much　there　is　to　be　thankful　for！〃　he　said；　then　advancing；　he　hung
over　Margaret；　calling　her　his　own　poor　darling。

〃Papa；　you　must　forgive　me。　　You　said　sending　him　to　sea　was　giving
him　up。〃

〃Did　I。　　Well；　Margaret；　he　did　his　duty。　　That　is　all　we　have　to
live　for。　　Our　yellow…haired　laddie　made　a　gallant　sailor；　and〃

Tears　choked　his　utteranceMargaret　gently　stroked　his　hand。

〃It　falls　hard　on　you；　my　poor　girl；〃　he　said。

〃No；　papa；〃　said　Margaret；　〃I　am　content　and　thankful。　　He　is　spared
pain　and　perplexity。〃

〃You　are　right；　I　believe；〃　said　Dr。　May。　　〃He　would　have　been
grieved　not　to　find　you　better。〃

〃I　ought　to　grieve　for　my　own　selfishness；〃　said　Margaret。　　〃I　cannot
help　it！　　I　cannot　be　sorry　the　link　is　unbroken；　and　that　he　had　not
to　turn　to　any　one　else。〃

〃He　never　would！〃　cried　Dr。　May；　almost　angrily。

〃I　tried　to　think　he　ought；〃　said　Margaret。　　〃His　life　would　have
been　too　dreary。　　But　it　is　best　as　it　is。〃

〃It　must　be；〃　said　the　doctor。　　〃Where　are　the　rest；　Ethel？　　Call
them　all　down。〃

Poor　Mary；　Ethel　felt　as　if　she　had　neglected　her！　　She　found　her
hanging　over　the　nursery　fire；　alternating　with　old　nurse　in　fond
reminiscences　of　Harry's　old　days；　sometimes　almost　laughing　at　his
pranks；　then　crying　again；　while　Aubrey　sat　between　them；　drinking　in
each　word。

Blanche　and　Gertrude　came　from　the　schoolroom；　where　Miss　Bracy
seemed　to　have　been　occupying　them；　with　much　kindness　and　judgment。
She　came　to　the　door　to　ask　Ethel　anxiously　for　the　doctor　and　Miss
May；　and　looked　so　affectionate　and　sympathising；　that　Ethel　gave　her
a　hearty　kiss。

〃Dear　Miss　Ethel！　if　you　can　only　let　me　help　you。〃

〃Thank　you；〃　said　Ethel　with　all　her　heart；　and　hurried　away。
Nothing　was　more　in　favour　of　Miss　Bracy；　than　that　there　should　be　a
hurry。　　Then　she　could　be　warm；　and　not　morbid。

Dr。　May　gathered　his　children　round　him；　and　took　out　the　great
Prayer…book。　　He　read　a　psalm　and　a　prayer　from　the　Burial　Service；
and　the　sentence　for　funerals　at　sea。　　Then　he　touched　each　of　their
heads；　and；　in　short　broken　sentences；　gave　thanks　for　those　still
left　to　him；　and　for　the　blessed　hope　they　could　feel　for　those　who
were　gone；　and　he　prayed　that　they　might　so　follow　in　their
footsteps；　as　to　come　to　the　same　holy　place；　and　in　the　meantime
realise　the　Communion　of　Saints。　　Then　they　said　the　Lord's　Prayer；
he　blessed　them；　and　they　arose。

〃Mary；　my　dear；〃　he　said；　〃you　have　a　photograph。〃

She　put　the　case　into　his　hands；　and　ran　away。

He　went　to　the　study；　where　he　found　Dr。　Spencer　awaiting　him。

〃I　am　only　come　to　know　where　I　shall　go　for　you。〃

〃Thank　you；　Spencer。　　Thank　you　for　taking　care　of　my　poor　girls。〃

〃They　took　care　of　themselves。　　They　have　the　secret　of　strength。〃

〃They　have〃　He　turned　aside；　and　burst　out；　〃Oh；　Spencer！　you　have
been　spared　a　great　deal。　　If　you　missed　a　great　deal　of　joy；　you
have　missed　almost　as　much　sorrow！〃　　And；　covering　his　face；　he　let
his　grief　have　a　free　course。

〃Dick！　dear　old　Dick；　you　must　bear　up。　　Think　what　treasures　you
have　left。〃

〃I　do。　　I　try　to　do　so；〃　said　poor　Dr。　May；　〃but；　Spencer；　you　never
saw　my　yellow…haired　laddie；　with　his　lion　look！　　He　was　the　flower
of　them　all！　　Not　one　of　these　other　boys　came　near　him　in　manliness；
and　with　such　a　loving　heart！　　An　hour　ago；　I　thought　any　certainty
would　be　gain；　but　now　I　would　give　a　lifetime　to　have　back　the　hope
that　I　might　see　my　boy's　face　again！　　Oh；　Spencer！　this　is　the　first
time　I　could　rejoice　that　his　mother　is　not　here！〃

〃She　would　have　been　your　comforter；〃　sighed　his　friend；　as　he　felt
his　inability　to　contend　with　such　grief。

〃There；　I　can　be　thankful；〃　Dr。　May　said；　and　he　looked　so。　　〃She　has
had　her　brave　loving　boy　with　her　all　this　time；　while　we　little
thoughtbut　there　are　others。　　My　poor　Margaret〃

〃Her　patience　must　be　blessed；〃　said　Dr。　Spencer。　　〃I　think　she　will
be　better。　　Now　that　the　suspense　no　longer　preys　on　her；　there　will
be　more　rest。〃

〃Rest；〃　repeated　Dr。　May；　supporting　his　head　on　his　hand；　and；
looking　up　dreamily〃there　remaineth　a　rest〃

The　large　Bible　lay　beside　him　on　the　table；　and　Dr。　Spencer　thought
that　he　would　find　more　rest　there　than　in　his　words。　　Leaving　him；
therefore；　his　friend　went　to　undertake　his　day's　work；　and　learn；
once　more；　in　the　anxious　inquiries　and　saddened　countenances　of　the
patients　and　their　friends；　how　great　an　amount　of　love　and　sympathy
that　Dr。　May　had　won　by　his　own　warmth　of　heart。　　The　patients　seemed
to　forget　their　complaints　in　sighs　for　their　kind　doctor's　troubles；
and　the　gouty　Mayor　of　Stoneborough　kept　Dr。　Spencer　half　an　hour　to
listen　to　his　recollections　of　the　bright…faced　boy's　droll　tricks；
and　then　to　the　praises　of　the　whole　May　family；　and　especially　of
the　mother。

Poor　Dr。　Spencer！　he　heard　her　accident　described　so　many　times　in
the　course　of　the　day；　that　his　visits　were　one　course　of　shrinking
and　suffering；　and　his　only　satisfaction　was　in　knowing　how　his
friend　would　be　cheered　by　hearing　of　the　universal　feeling　for　him
and　his　children。

Ethel　wrote　letters　to　her　brothers；　and　Dr。　May　added　a　few　lines；
begging　Richard　to　come　home；　if　only　for　a　few　days。　　Margaret　would
not　be　denied　writing　to　Hector　Ernescliffe；　though　she　cried　over
her　letter　so　much　that　her　father　could　almost　have　taken　her　pen
away；　but　she　said　it　did　her　good。

When　Flora　came　in　the　afternoon；　Ethel　was　able　to　leave　Margaret　to
her；　and　attend　to　Mary；　with　whom　Miss　Bracy's　kindness　had　been
inefficacious。　　If　she　was　cheered　for　a　few　minutes；　some
association；　either　with　the　past　or　the　vanished　future；　soon　set
her　off　sobbing　again。　　〃If　I　only　knew　where　dear；　dear　Harry　is
lying；〃　she　sobbed；　〃and　that　it　had　not　been　very　bad　indeed；　I
could　bear　it　better。〃

The　ghastly　uncertainty　was　too　terrible　for　Ethel　to　have　borne　to
contemplate　it。　　She　knew　that　it　would　haunt　their　pillows；　and　she
was　trying　to　nerve　herself　by　faith。

〃Mary；〃　she　said；　〃that　is　the　worst；　but；　after　all；　God　willed　that
we　should　not　know。　　We　must　bear　it　like　His　good　children。　　It
makes　no　differences　to　them　now〃

〃I　know；〃　said　Mary；　trying　to　check　her　sobs。

〃And；　you　know；　we　are　all　in　the　same　keeping。　　The　sea　is　a
glorious　great　pure　thing；　you　know；　that　man　cannot　hurt　or　defile。
It　seems　to　me；〃　said　Ethel；　looking　up；　〃as　if　resting　there　was
like　being　buried　in　our　baptism…tide　over　again；　till　the　great　new
birth。　　It　must　be　the　next　best　place　to　a　churchyard。　　Anywhere；
they　are　as　safe　as　among　the　daisies　in　our　own　cloister。〃

〃Say　it　againwhat　you　said　about　the　sea；〃　said　Mary；　more
comforted　than　if　Ethel　had　been　talking　down　to　her。

By　and　by　Ethel　discovered　that　the　sharpest　trouble　to　the　fond
simple　girl　was　the　deprivation　of　her　precious　photograph。　　It　was
like　losing　Harry　over　again；　to　go　to　bed　without　it；　though　she
would　not　for　the　world　seem　to　grudge　it　to　her　father。

Ethel　found　an　opportunity　of　telling　him　of　this　distress；　and　it
almost　made　him　smile。　　〃Poor　Mary；〃　he　said；　〃is　she　so　fond　of　it？
It　is　rather　a　libel　than　a　likeness。〃

〃Don't　say　so　to　her；　pray；　papa。　　It　is　all　the　world　to　her。　　Three
strokes　on　paper　would　have　been　the　same；　if　they　had　been　called　by
his　name。〃

〃Yes；　a　loving　heart　has　eyes　of　its　own；　and　she　is　a　dear　girl！〃

He　did　not　forget　to　restore　the　treasure　with　gratitude
proportionate　to　what　the　loan　had　cost　Mary。　　With　a　trembling
voice；　she　proffered　it　to　him　for　the　whole　day；　and　every　day；　if
she　might　only　have　it　at　night；　and　she　even　looked　black　when　he
did　not　accept　the　proposal。

〃It　is　exactly　like〃　said　she。

〃It　can't　help　being　so；　in　a　certain　sense；〃　he　answered　kindly；
〃but　after　all；　Mary　dear；　he　did　not　pout　out　his　chin　in　that　way。〃

Mary　was　somewhat　mortified；　but　she　valued　her　photograph　more　than
ever；　because　no　on