the daisy chain, or aspirations-第119节

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


comes　to　the　point；　and　he　warms　with　his　subject。〃

〃Oh！　but　think　of　all　the　eyes　looking　at　him！〃

〃Our's　are　all　that　he　really　cares　for；　and　he　will　think　of　none　of
them；　when　he　begins。　　No；　Meta；　you　must　not　encourage　him　in　it。
Papa　says；　if　he　did　not　think　it　half　morbidthe　result　of　the
shock　to　his　nerveshe　should　be　angry　with　it　as　a　sort　of
conceit！〃

〃I　should　have　thought　that　the　last　thing　to　be　said　of　Norman！〃
said　Meta；　with　a　little　suppressed　indignation。

〃It　was　once　in　his　nature；〃　said　Ethel；　〃and　I　think　it　is　the　fault
he　most　beats　down。　　There　was　a　time；　before　you　knew　him；　when　he
would　have　been　vain　and　ambitious。〃

〃Then　it　is　as　they　say；　conquered　faults　grow　to　be　the　opposite
virtues！〃　said　Meta。　　〃How　very　good　he　is；　Ethel；　one　sees　it　more
when　he　is　with　other　people；　and　one　hears　all　these　young　men's
stories！〃

〃Everything　Norman　does　not　do；　is　not　therefore　wrong；〃　said　Ethel；
with　her　usual　lucidity　of　expression。

〃Don't　you　like　him　the　better　for　keeping　out　of　all　these　follies？〃

〃Norman　does　not　call　them　so；　I　am　sure。〃

〃No；　he　is　too　good　to　condemn〃

〃It　is　not　only　that；〃　said　Ethel。　　〃I　know　papa　thinks　that　the
first　grief；　coming　at　his　age；　and　in　the　manner　it　did；　checked　and
subdued　his　spirits；　so　that　he　has　little　pleasure　in　those　things。
And　he　always　meant　to　be　a　clergyman；　which　acted　as　a　sort　of
consecration　on　him；　but　many　things　are　innocent；　and　I　do　believe
papa　would　like　it　better；　if　Norman　were　less　grave。〃

〃Yes；〃　said　Meta；　remembering　the　Sunday　talk；　〃but　still；　he　would
not　be　all　he　isso　different　from　others〃

〃Of　course；　I　don't　mean　less　good；　only；　less　grave；〃　said　Ethel；
〃and　certainly　less　nervous。　　But；　perhaps；　it　is　a　good　thing；　dear
mamma　thought　his　talents　would　have　been　a　greater　temptation　than
they　seem　to　be；　subdued　as　he　has　been。　　I　only　meant　that　you　must
not　condemn　all　that　Norman　does　not　do。　　Now；　goodnight。〃

Very　different　were　the　feelings　with　which　those　two　young　girls
stretched　themselves　in　their　beds　that　night。　　Margaret　Rivers's
innocent；　happy　little　heart　was　taken　up　in　one　contemplation。
Admiration；　sympathy；　and　the　exultation　for　him；　which　he　would　not
feel　for　himself；　drew　little　Meta　entirely　out　of　herselfa　self
that　never　held　her　much。　　She　was　proud　of　the　slender　thread　of
connection　between　them；　she　was　confident　that　his　vague　fancies
were　but　the　scruples　of　a　sensitive　mind；　and；　as　she　fell　sound
asleep；　she　murmured　broken　lines　of　Decius；　mixed　with　promises　not
to　look。

Etheldred　heard　them；　for　there　was　no　sleep　for　her。　　She　had　a
parley　to　hold　with　herself；　and　to　accuse　her　own　feelings　of　having
been　unkind；　ungrateful；　undutiful　towards　her　father。　　What　had　a
fit　of　vanity　brought　her　to？　that　she　should　have　been　teased　by
what　would　naturally　have　been　her　greatest　delight！　her　father's
pleasure　in　being　with　her。　　Was　this　the　girl　who　had　lately　vowed
within　herself　that　her　father　should　be　her　first　earthly　object？

At　first；　Ethel　blamed　herself　for　her　secret　impatience；　but　another
conviction　crossed　her；　and　not　an　unpleasing　one；　though　it　made　her
cheeks　tingle　with　maidenly　shame；　at　having　called　it　up。
Throughout　this　week；　Norman　Ogilvie　had　certainly　sought　her　out。
He　had　looked　disappointed　this　eveningthere　was　no　doubt　that　he
was　attracted　by　herby　her；　plain；　awkward　Ethel！　　Such　a
perception　assuredly　never　gave　so　much　pleasure　to　a　beauty　as　it
did　to　Ethel；　who　had　always　believed　herself　far　less　good…looking
than　she　really　was。　　It　was　a　gleam　of　delight；　and；　though　she　set
herself　to　scold　it　down；　the　conviction　was　elastic；　and　always
leaped　up　again。

That　resolution　came　before　her；　but　it　had　been　unspoken；　it　could
not　be　binding；　and；　if　her　notion　were　really　right；　the　misty
brilliant　future　of　mutual　joy　dazzled　her！　　But　there　was　another
side：　her　father　oppressed　and　lonely；　Margaret　ill　and　pining；　Mary；
neither　companion　nor　authority；　the　children　running　wild；　and　she；
who　had　mentally　vowed　never　to　forsake　her　father；　far　away；
enjoying　her　own　happiness。　　〃Ah！　that　resolve　had　seemed　easy　enough
when　it　was　made；　when；〃　thought　Ethel；　〃I　fancied　no　one　could　care
for　me！　　Shame　on　me！　　Now　is　the　time　to　test　it！　　I　must　go　home
with　papa。〃

It　was　a　great　struggleon　one　side　there　was　the　deceitful　guise　of
modesty；　telling　her　it　was　absurd　to　give　so　much　importance　to　the
kindness　of　the　first　cousin　with　whom　she　had　ever　been　thrown；
there　was　the　dislike　to　vex　Flora　to　make　a　discussion；　and　break　up
the　party。　　There　was　the　desire　to　hear　the　concert；　to　go　to　the
breakfast　at　　College；　to　return　round　by　Warwick　Castle；　and
Kenilworth；　as　designed。　　Should　she　lose　all　this　for　a　mere
flattering　fancy？　　She；　who　had　laughed　at　Miss　Boulder；　for
imagining　every　one　who　spoke　to　her　was　smitten。　　What　reason　could
she　assign？　　It　would　be　simply　ridiculous；　and　unkindand　it　was　so
very　pleasant。　　Mr。　Ogilvie　would　be　too　wise　to　think　of　so
incongruous　a　connection；　which　would　be　so　sure　to　displease　his
parents。　　It　was　more　absurd　than　ever　to　think　of　it。　　The　heir　of
Glenbracken；　and　a　country　physician's　daughter！

That　was　a　candid　heart　which　owned　that　its　own　repugnance　to　accept
this　disparity　as　an　objection；　was　an　additional　evidence　that　she
ought　to　flee　from　further　intercourse。　　She　believed　that　no　harm
was　done　yet；　she　was　sure　that　she　loved　her　father　better　than
anything　else　in　the　world；　and　whilst　she　did　so；　it　was　best　to
preserve　her　heart　for　him。　　Widowed　as　he　was；　she　knew　that　he
would　sorely　miss　her；　and　that　for　years　to　come；　she　should　be
necessary　at　home。　　She　had　better　come　away　while　it　would　cost　only
a　slight　pang；　for　that　it　was　pain　to　leave　Norman　Ogilvie；　was
symptom　enough　of　the　need　of　not　letting　her　own　silly　heart　go
further。　　However　it　might　be　with　him；　another　week　would　only　make
it　worse　with　her。

〃I　will　go　home　with　papa！〃　was　the　ultimatum　reached　by　each　chain
of　mental　reasonings；　and　borne　in　after　each　short　prayer　for
guidance；　as　Ethel　tossed　about　listening　to　the　perpetual　striking
of　all　the　Oxford　clocks；　until　daylight　had　begun　to　shine　in；　when
she　fell　asleep；　and　was　only　waked　by　Meta；　standing　over　her　with　a
sponge；　looking　very　mischievous；　as　she　reminded　her　of　their
appointment　with　Dr。　May；　to　go　to　the　early　service　in　New　College
Chapel。

The　world　looked　different　that　morning　with　Ethel；　but　the
determination　was　fixed；　and　the　service　strengthened　it。　　She　was　so
silent　during　the　walk；　that　her　companions　rallied　her；　and　they
both　supposed　she　was　anxious　about　Norman；　but　taking　her
opportunity；　when　Meta　was　gone　to　prepare　for　breakfast；　she　rushed；
in　her　usual　way；　into　the　subject。　　〃Papa！　if　you　please；　I　should
like　to　go　home　to…morrow　with　you。〃

〃Eh？〃　said　the　doctor；　amazed。　　〃How　is　this？　　I　told　you　that　Miss
Bracy　and　Mary　are　doing　famously。〃

〃Yes；　but　I　had　rather　go　back。〃

〃Indeed！〃　and　Dr。　May　looked　at　the　door；　and　spoke　low。　　〃They　make
you　welcome；　I　hope〃

〃Oh；　yes！　nothing　can　be　kinder。〃

〃I　am　glad　to　hear　it。　　This　Rivers　is　such　a　lout；　that　I　could　not
tell　how　it　might　be。　　I　did　not　look　to　see　you　turn　homesick　all　at
once。〃

Ethel　smiled。　〃Yes；　I　have　been　very　happy；　but　please；　papa；　ask　no
questionsonly　take　me　home。〃

〃Come！　it　is　all　a　homesick　fit；　Ethelnever　fear　the　ball。　　Think
of　the　concert。　　If　it　were　not　for　that　poor　baby　of　Mrs。　Larkins；　I
should　stay　myself　to　hear　Sonntag　again。　　You　won't　have　such
another　chance。〃

〃I　know；　but　I　think　I　ought　to　go〃

George　came　in；　and　they　could　say　no　more。　　Both　were　silent　on　the
subject　at　breakfast；　but　when　afterwards　Flora　seized　on　Ethel；　to
array　her　for　the　theatre；　she　was　able　to　say；　〃Flora；　please　don't
be　angry　with　meyou　have　been　very　kind　to　me；　but　I　mean　to　go
home　with　papa　to…morrow。〃

〃I　declare！〃　said　Flora　composedly；　〃you　are　as　bad　as　the　children
at　the　infant　school；　crying　to　go　home　the　instant　they　see　their
mothers！〃

〃No；　Flora；　but　I　must　go。　　Thank　you　for　all　this　pleasure；　but　I
shall　have　heard　Norman's　poem；　and　then　I　must　go。〃

Flora　turned　her　round；　looked　in　her　face　kindly；　kissed　her；　and
said；　〃My　dear；　never　mind；　it　will　all　come　right　againonly；　don't
run　away。〃

〃What　will　come　right？〃

〃Any　little　misunderstanding　with　Norman　Ogilvie。〃

〃I　don't　know　what　you　mean；〃　said　Ethel；　becoming　scarlet。

〃My　dear；　you　need　not　try　to　hide　it。　　I　see　that　you　have　got　into
a　fright。　　You　have　made　a　discovery；　but　that　is　no　reason　for
running　away。〃

〃Yes　it　is！〃　said　Ethel　firmly；　not　denying　the　charge；　though
reddening　more　than　ever　at　finding　her　impression　confirmed。

〃Poor　child！　she　is　afraid！〃　said　Flora　tenderly；　〃but　I　will　take
care　of　you；　Ethel。　　It　is　everything　delightful。　　You　are　the　very
girl　for　such　a　heros　de　Roman；　and　it　has　embellished　you　more　than
all　my　Paris　fineries。〃

〃Hush；　Flora！　　We　ought　not　to　talk　in　this　way；　as　if〃

〃As　if　he　had　done　more　than　walk