the knights-第1节
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420 BC
THE KNIGHTS
by Aristophanes
anonymous translator
CHARACTERS IN THE PLAY
DEMOSTHENES
NICIAS
AGORACRITUS； a Sausage…Seller
CLEON
DEMOS
CHORUS OF KNIGHTS
KNIGHTS
（SCENE：…The Orchestra represents the Pnyx at Athens； in the back…
ground is the house of DEMOS。）
DEMOSTHENES
Oh！ alas！ alas！ alas！ Oh！ woe！ oh！ woe！ Miserable Paphlagonian！
may the gods destroy both him and his cursed advice！ Since that evil
day when this new slave entered the house he has never ceased
belabouring us with blows。
NICIAS
May the plague seize him； the arch…fiend…him and his lying tales！
DEMOSTHENES
Hah！ my poor fellow； what is your condition？
NICIAS
Very wretched； just like your own。
DEMOSTHENES
Then come； let us sing a duet of groans in the style of Olympus。
DEMOSTHENES AND NICIAS
Boo； hoo！ boo； hoo！ boo； hoo！ boo； hoo！ boo； hoo！ boo； hoo！！
DEMOSTHENES
Bah！ it's lost labour to weep！ Enough of groaning！ Let us consider
now to save our pelts。
NICIAS
But how to do it！ Can you suggest anything？
DEMOSTHENES
No； you begin。 I cede you the honour。
NICIAS
By Apollo！ no； not I。 Come； have courage！ Speak； and then I will
say what I think。
DEMOSTHENES （in tragic style）
〃Ah！ would you but tell me what I should tell you！
NICIAS
I dare not。 How could I express my thoughts with the pomp of
Euripides？
DEMOSTHENES
Oh！ please spare me！ Do not pelt me with those vegetables； but
find some way of leaving our master。
NICIAS
Well； then！ Say 〃Let…us…bolt；〃 like this； in one breath。
DEMOSTHENES
I follow you…'Let…us…bolt。〃
NICIAS
Now after 〃Let…us…bolt〃 say 〃at…top…speed
DEMOSTHENES
〃At…top…speed！
NICIAS
Splendid！ just as if you were masturbating； first slowly；
〃Let…us…bolt〃； then quick and firmly； 〃at…top…speed！〃
DEMOSTHENES
Let…us…bolt； let…us…bolt…at…top…speed！
NICIAS
Hah！ does that not please you？
DEMOSTHENES
Yes； indeed； yet I fear your omen bodes no good to my hide。
NICIAS
How so？
DEMOSTHENES
Because masturbation chafes the skin。
NICIAS
The best thing we can do for the moment is to throw ourselves at
the feet of the statue of some god。
DEMOSTHENES
Of which statue？ Any statue？ Do you then believe there are gods？
NICIAS
Certainly。
DEMOSTHENES
What proof have you？
NICIAS
The proof that they have taken a grudge against me。 Is that not
enough？
DEMOSTHENES
I'm convinced it is。 But to pass on。 Do you consent to my
telling the spectators of our troubles？
NICIAS
There's nothing wrong with that； and we might ask them to show
us by their manner； whether our facts and actions are to their liking。
DEMOSTHENES
I will begin then。 We have a very brutal master； a perfect glutton
for beans； and most bad…tempered； it's Demos of the Pnyx； an
intolerable old man and half deaf。 The beginning of last month he
bought a slave； a Paphlagonian tanner； an arrant rogue； the
incarnation of calumny。 This man of leather knows his old master
thoroughly； he plays the fawning cur； flatters； cajoles； wheedles； and
dupes him at will with little scraps of leavings； which he allows
him to get。 〃Dear Demos；〃 he will say； 〃try a single case and you will
have done enough； then take your bath； eat； swallow and devour； here
are three obols。〃 Then the Paphlagonian filches from one of us what we
have prepared and makes a present of it to our old man。 The other
day I had just kneaded a Spartan cake at Pylos； the cunning rogue came
behind my back； sneaked it and offered the cake； which was my
invention； in his own name。 He keeps us at a distance and suffers none
but himself to wait upon the master； when Demos is dining； he keeps
close to his side with a thong in his hand and puts the orators to
flight。 He keeps singing oracles to him； so that the old man now
thinks of nothing but the Sibyl。 Then； when he sees him thoroughly
obfuscated； he uses all his cunning and piles up lies and calumnies
against the household； then we are scourged and the Paphlagonian
runs about among the slaves to demand contributions with threats and
gathers them in with both hands。 He will say； 〃You see how I have
had Hylas beaten！ Either content me or die at once！〃 We are forced
to give； for otherwise the old man tramples on us and makes us crap
forth all our body contains。 （To NICIAS） There must be an end to it；
friend Let us see！ what can be done？ Who will get us out of this mess？
NICIAS
The best thing； friend； is our famous 〃Let…us…bolt！〃
DEMOSTHENES
But none can escape the Paphlagonian； his eye is everywhere。 And
what a stride！ He has one leg on Pylos and the other in the
Assembly； his arse gapes exactly over the land of the Chaonians； his
hands are with the Aetolians and his mind with the Clopidians。
NICIAS
It's best then to die； but let us seek the most heroic death。
DEMOSTHENES
Let me think； what is the most heroic？
NICIAS
Let us drink the blood of a bull； that's the death Themistocles
chose。
DEMOSTHENES
No； not that； but a bumper of good unmixed wine in honour of the
Good Genius； perchance we may stumble on a happy thought。
NICIAS
Look at him！ 〃Unmixed wine！〃 Your mind is on drink intent？ Can a
man strike out a brilliant thought when drunk？
DEMOSTHENES
Without question。 Go； ninny； blow yourself out with water； do
you dare to accuse wine of clouding the reason？ Quote me more
marvellous effects than those of wine。 Look！ when a man drinks； he
is rich； everything he touches succeeds； he gains lawsuits； is happy
and helps his friends。 Come； bring hither quick a flagon of wine； that
I may soak my brain and get an ingenious idea。
NICIAS
My God！ What can your drinking do to help us？
DEMOSTHENES
Much。 But bring it to me； while I take my seat。 Once drunk； I
shall strew little ideas； little phrases； little reasonings
everywhere。
（NICIAS enters the house and returns almost immediately with a
bottle。）
NICIAS
It is lucky I was not caught in the house stealing the wine。
DEMOSTHENES
Tell me； what is the Paphlagonian doing now？
NICIAS
The wretch has just gobbled up some confiscated cakes； he is drunk
and lies at full…length snoring on his hides。
DEMOSTHENES
Very well； come along； pour me out wine and plenty of it。
NICIAS
Take it and offer a libation to your Good Genius。
DEMOSTHENES （to himself）
Inhale； ah； inhale the spirit of the genius of Pramnium。 （He
drinks。 Inspiredly） Ah！ Good Genius； thine the plan； not mine！
NICIAS
Tell me； what is it？
DEMOSTHENES
Run indoors quick and steal the oracles of the Paphlagonian； while
he is asleep。
NICIAS
Bless me！ I fear this Good Genius will be but a very Bad Genius
for me。
（He goes into the house。）
DEMOSTHENES
And I'll set the flagon near me； that I may moisten my wit to
invent some brilliant notion。
（NICIAS enters the house and returns at once。）
NICIAS
How loudly the Paphlagonian farts and snores！ I was able to
seize the sacred oracle； which he was guarding with the greatest care；
without his seeing me。
DEMOSTHENES
Oh！ clever fellow！ Hand it here； that I may read。 Come； pour me
out some drink； bestir yourself！ Let me see what there is in it。 Oh！
prophecy！ Some drink！ some drink！ Quick！
NICIAS
Well！ what says the oracle？
DEMOSTHENES
Pour again。
NICIAS
Is 〃Pour again〃 in the oracle？
DEMOSTHENES
Oh； Bacis！
NICIAS
But what is in it？
DEMOSTHENES
Quick！ some drink！
NICIAS
Bacis is very dry！
DEMOSTHENES
Oh！ miserable Paphlagonian！ This then is why you have so long
taken such precautions； your horoscope gave you qualms of terror。
NICIAS
What does it say？
DEMOSTHENES
It says here how he must end。
NICIAS
And how？
DEMOSTHENES
How？ the oracle announces clearly that a dealer in oakum must
first govern the city。
NICIAS
That's one tradesman。 And after him； who？
DEMOSTHENES
After him； a sheep…dealer。
NICIAS
Two tradesmen； eh？ And what is this one's fate？
DEMOSTHENES
To reign until a filthier scoundrel than he arises； then he
perishes and in his place the leather…seller appears； the Paphlagonian
robber； the bawler； who roars like a torrent。
NICIAS
And the leather…seller must destroy the sheep…seller？
DEMOSTHENES
Yes。
NICIAS
Oh woe is me！ Where can another seller be found； is there ever
