the history of john bull-µÚ11½Ú
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CHAPTER¡¡IV¡£¡¡¡¡How¡¡the¡¡relations¡¡reconciled¡¡John¡¡and¡¡his¡¡sister¡¡Peg£»¡¡and¡¡what¡¡return¡¡Peg¡¡made¡¡to¡¡John's¡¡message¡£*
*¡¡The¡¡Treaty¡¡of¡¡Union¡£¡¡¡¡Reason¡¡of¡¡it£º¡¡¡¡the¡¡Succession¡¡not¡¡being¡¡settled¡¡in¡¡Scotland¡£¡¡¡¡Fears¡¡for¡¡the¡¡Presbyterian¡¡Church¡¡Government£»¡¡and¡¡of¡¡being¡¡burdened¡¡with¡¡the¡¡English¡¡National¡¡Debts¡£
John¡¡Bull£»¡¡otherwise¡¡a¡¡good¡natured¡¡man£»¡¡was¡¡very¡¡hard¡hearted¡¡to¡¡his¡¡sister¡¡Peg£»¡¡chiefly¡¡from¡¡an¡¡aversion¡¡he¡¡had¡¡conceived¡¡in¡¡his¡¡infancy¡£¡¡¡¡While¡¡he¡¡flourished£»¡¡kept¡¡a¡¡warm¡¡house£»¡¡and¡¡drove¡¡a¡¡plentiful¡¡trade£»¡¡poor¡¡Peg¡¡was¡¡forced¡¡to¡¡go¡¡hawking¡¡and¡¡peddling¡¡about¡¡the¡¡streets¡¡selling¡¡knives£»¡¡scissors£»¡¡and¡¡shoe¡buckles£»¡¡now¡¡and¡¡then¡¡carried¡¡a¡¡basket¡¡of¡¡fish¡¡to¡¡the¡¡market£»¡¡sewed£»¡¡spun£»¡¡and¡¡knit¡¡for¡¡a¡¡livelihood£»¡¡till¡¡her¡¡fingers'¡¡ends¡¡were¡¡sore£»¡¡and¡¡when¡¡she¡¡could¡¡not¡¡get¡¡bread¡¡for¡¡her¡¡family£»¡¡she¡¡was¡¡forced¡¡to¡¡hire¡¡them¡¡out¡¡at¡¡journey¡work¡¡to¡¡her¡¡neighbours¡£¡¡¡¡Yet¡¡in¡¡these¡¡her¡¡poor¡¡circumstances¡¡she¡¡still¡¡preserved¡¡the¡¡air¡¡and¡¡mien¡¡of¡¡a¡¡gentlewoman¡¡¡¡a¡¡certain¡¡decent¡¡pride¡¡that¡¡extorted¡¡respect¡¡from¡¡the¡¡haughtiest¡¡of¡¡her¡¡neighbours¡£¡¡¡¡When¡¡she¡¡came¡¡in¡¡to¡¡any¡¡full¡¡assembly£»¡¡she¡¡would¡¡not¡¡yield¡¡the¡¡pas¡¡to¡¡the¡¡best¡¡of¡¡them¡£¡¡¡¡If¡¡one¡¡asked¡¡her£»¡¡¡¨Are¡¡not¡¡you¡¡related¡¡to¡¡John¡¡Bull£¿¡¨¡¡¡¡¡¨Yes£»¡¨¡¡says¡¡she£»¡¡¡¨he¡¡has¡¡the¡¡honour¡¡to¡¡be¡¡my¡¡brother¡£¡¨¡¡¡¡So¡¡Peg's¡¡affairs¡¡went¡¡till¡¡all¡¡the¡¡relations¡¡cried¡¡out¡¡shame¡¡upon¡¡John¡¡for¡¡his¡¡barbarous¡¡usage¡¡of¡¡his¡¡own¡¡flesh¡¡and¡¡blood£»¡¡that¡¡it¡¡was¡¡an¡¡easy¡¡matter¡¡for¡¡him¡¡to¡¡put¡¡her¡¡in¡¡a¡¡creditable¡¡way¡¡of¡¡living£»¡¡not¡¡only¡¡without¡¡hurt£»¡¡but¡¡with¡¡advantage¡¡to¡¡himself£»¡¡seeing¡¡she¡¡was¡¡an¡¡industrious¡¡person£»¡¡and¡¡might¡¡be¡¡serviceable¡¡to¡¡him¡¡in¡¡his¡¡way¡¡of¡¡business¡£¡¡¡¡¡¨Hang¡¡her£»¡¡jade£»¡¨¡¡quoth¡¡John£»¡¡¡¨I¡¡can't¡¡endure¡¡her¡¡as¡¡long¡¡as¡¡she¡¡keeps¡¡that¡¡rascal¡¡Jack's¡¡company¡£¡¨¡¡¡¡They¡¡told¡¡him¡¡the¡¡way¡¡to¡¡reclaim¡¡her¡¡was¡¡to¡¡take¡¡her¡¡into¡¡his¡¡house£»¡¡that¡¡by¡¡conversation¡¡the¡¡childish¡¡humours¡¡of¡¡their¡¡younger¡¡days¡¡might¡¡be¡¡worn¡¡out¡£¡¡¡¡These¡¡arguments¡¡were¡¡enforced¡¡by¡¡a¡¡certain¡¡incident¡£¡¡¡¡It¡¡happened¡¡that¡¡John¡¡was¡¡at¡¡that¡¡time¡¡about¡¡making¡¡his¡¡will*¡¡and¡¡entailing¡¡his¡¡estate£»¡¡the¡¡very¡¡same¡¡in¡¡which¡¡Nic¡£¡¡Frog¡¡is¡¡named¡¡executor¡£¡¡¡¡Now£»¡¡his¡¡sister¡¡Peg's¡¡name¡¡being¡¡in¡¡the¡¡entail£»¡¡he¡¡could¡¡not¡¡make¡¡a¡¡thorough¡¡settlement¡¡without¡¡her¡¡consent¡£¡¡¡¡There¡¡was£»¡¡indeed£»¡¡a¡¡malicious¡¡story¡¡went¡¡about¡¡as¡¡if¡¡John's¡¡last¡¡wife¡¡had¡¡fallen¡¡in¡¡love¡¡with¡¡Jack¡¡as¡¡he¡¡was¡¡eating¡¡custard¡¡on¡¡horseback£»**¡¡that¡¡she¡¡persuaded¡¡John¡¡to¡¡take¡¡his¡¡sister¡¡into¡¡the¡¡house¡¡the¡¡better¡¡to¡¡drive¡¡on¡¡the¡¡intrigue¡¡with¡¡Jack£»¡¡concluding¡¡he¡¡would¡¡follow¡¡his¡¡mistress¡¡Peg¡£¡¡¡¡All¡¡I¡¡can¡¡infer¡¡from¡¡this¡¡story¡¡is¡¡that¡¡when¡¡one¡¡has¡¡got¡¡a¡¡bad¡¡character¡¡in¡¡the¡¡world¡¡people¡¡will¡¡report¡¡and¡¡believe¡¡anything¡¡of¡¡them£»¡¡true¡¡or¡¡false¡£¡¡¡¡But¡¡to¡¡return¡¡to¡¡my¡¡story¡£¡¡¡¡When¡¡Peg¡¡received¡¡John's¡¡message¡¡she¡¡huffed¡¡and¡¡stormed£º¡¡¡¡¡¨My¡¡brother¡¡John£»¡¨¡¡quoth¡¡she£»¡¡¡¨is¡¡grown¡¡wondrous¡¡kind¡hearted¡¡all¡¡of¡¡a¡¡sudden£»¡¡but¡¡I¡¡meikle¡¡doubt¡¡whether¡¡it¡¡be¡¡not¡¡mair¡¡for¡¡their¡¡own¡¡conveniency¡¡than¡¡for¡¡my¡¡good£»¡¡he¡¡draws¡¡up¡¡his¡¡writs¡¡and¡¡his¡¡deeds£»¡¡forsooth£»¡¡and¡¡I¡¡must¡¡set¡¡my¡¡hand¡¡to¡¡them£»¡¡unsight£»¡¡unseen¡£¡¡¡¡I¡¡like¡¡the¡¡young¡¡man¡¡he¡¡has¡¡settled¡¡upon¡¡well¡¡enough£»¡¡but¡¡I¡¡think¡¡I¡¡ought¡¡to¡¡have¡¡a¡¡valuable¡¡consideration¡¡for¡¡my¡¡consent¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡wants¡¡my¡¡poor¡¡little¡¡farm¡¡because¡¡it¡¡makes¡¡a¡¡nook¡¡in¡¡his¡¡park¡wall¡£¡¡¡¡Ye¡¡may¡¡e'en¡¡tell¡¡him¡¡he¡¡has¡¡mair¡¡than¡¡he¡¡makes¡¡good¡¡use¡¡of£»¡¡he¡¡gangs¡¡up¡¡and¡¡down¡¡drinking£»¡¡roaring£»¡¡and¡¡quarrelling£»¡¡through¡¡all¡¡the¡¡country¡¡markets£»¡¡making¡¡foolish¡¡bargains¡¡in¡¡his¡¡cups£»¡¡which¡¡he¡¡repents¡¡when¡¡he¡¡is¡¡sober£»¡¡like¡¡a¡¡thriftless¡¡wretch£»¡¡spending¡¡the¡¡goods¡¡and¡¡gear¡¡that¡¡his¡¡forefathers¡¡won¡¡with¡¡the¡¡sweat¡¡of¡¡their¡¡brows£º¡¡¡¡light¡¡come£»¡¡light¡¡go£»¡¡he¡¡cares¡¡not¡¡a¡¡farthing¡£¡¡¡¡But¡¡why¡¡should¡¡I¡¡stand¡¡surety¡¡for¡¡his¡¡contracts£¿¡¡¡¡The¡¡little¡¡I¡¡have¡¡is¡¡free£»¡¡and¡¡I¡¡can¡¡call¡¡it¡¡my¡¡awn¡¡hame's¡¡hame£»¡¡let¡¡it¡¡be¡¡never¡¡so¡¡hamely¡£¡¡¡¡I¡¡ken¡¡him¡¡well¡¡enough£»¡¡he¡¡could¡¡never¡¡abide¡¡me£»¡¡and¡¡when¡¡he¡¡has¡¡his¡¡ends¡¡he'll¡¡e'en¡¡use¡¡me¡¡as¡¡he¡¡did¡¡before¡£¡¡¡¡I'm¡¡sure¡¡I¡¡shall¡¡be¡¡treated¡¡like¡¡a¡¡poor¡¡drudgeI¡¡shall¡¡be¡¡set¡¡to¡¡tend¡¡the¡¡bairns£»¡¡darn¡¡the¡¡hose£»¡¡and¡¡mend¡¡the¡¡linen¡£¡¡Then¡¡there's¡¡no¡¡living¡¡with¡¡that¡¡old¡¡carline¡¡his¡¡mother£»¡¡she¡¡rails¡¡at¡¡Jack£»¡¡and¡¡Jack's¡¡an¡¡honester¡¡man¡¡than¡¡any¡¡of¡¡her¡¡kin£º¡¡¡¡I¡¡shall¡¡be¡¡plagued¡¡with¡¡her¡¡spells¡¡and¡¡her¡¡Paternosters£»¡¡and¡¡silly¡¡old¡¡world¡¡ceremonies£»¡¡I¡¡mun¡¡never¡¡pare¡¡my¡¡nails¡¡on¡¡a¡¡Friday£»¡¡nor¡¡begin¡¡a¡¡journey¡¡on¡¡Childermas¡¡Day£»¡¡and¡¡I¡¡mun¡¡stand¡¡beeking¡¡and¡¡binging¡¡as¡¡I¡¡gang¡¡out¡¡and¡¡into¡¡the¡¡hall¡£¡¡¡¡Tell¡¡him¡¡he¡¡may¡¡e'en¡¡gang¡¡his¡¡get£»¡¡I'll¡¡have¡¡nothing¡¡to¡¡do¡¡with¡¡him£»¡¡I'll¡¡stay¡¡like¡¡the¡¡poor¡¡country¡¡mouse£»¡¡in¡¡my¡¡awn¡¡habitation¡£¡¨¡¡¡¡So¡¡Peg¡¡talked£»¡¡but¡¡for¡¡all¡¡that£»¡¡by¡¡the¡¡interposition¡¡of¡¡good¡¡friends£»¡¡and¡¡by¡¡many¡¡a¡¡bonny¡¡thing¡¡that¡¡was¡¡sent£»¡¡and¡¡many¡¡more¡¡that¡¡were¡¡promised¡¡Peg£»¡¡the¡¡matter¡¡was¡¡concluded£»¡¡and¡¡Peg¡¡taken¡¡into¡¡the¡¡house¡¡upon¡¡certain¡¡articles£º***¡¡one¡¡of¡¡which¡¡was¡¡that¡¡she¡¡might¡¡have¡¡the¡¡freedom¡¡of¡¡Jack's¡¡conversation£»¡¡and¡¡might¡¡take¡¡him¡¡for¡¡better¡¡and¡¡for¡¡worse¡¡if¡¡she¡¡pleased£º¡¡¡¡provided¡¡always¡¡he¡¡did¡¡not¡¡come¡¡into¡¡the¡¡house¡¡at¡¡unseasonable¡¡hours¡¡and¡¡disturb¡¡the¡¡rest¡¡of¡¡the¡¡old¡¡woman£»¡¡John's¡¡mother¡£
*¡¡The¡¡Act¡¡of¡¡Succession¡£¡¡**¡¡A¡¡Presbyterian¡¡Lord¡¡Mayor¡£¡¡***¡¡The¡¡Act¡¡of¡¡Toleration¡£
CHAPTER¡¡V¡£¡¡¡¡Of¡¡some¡¡Quarrels¡¡that¡¡happened¡¡after¡¡Peg¡¡was¡¡taken¡¡into¡¡the¡¡Family¡£*
*Quarrels¡¡about¡¡some¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Articles¡¡of¡¡Union£»¡¡particularly¡¡the¡¡peerage¡£
It¡¡is¡¡an¡¡old¡¡observation¡¡that¡¡the¡¡quarrels¡¡of¡¡relations¡¡are¡¡harder¡¡to¡¡reconcile¡¡than¡¡any¡¡other£»¡¡injuries¡¡from¡¡friends¡¡fret¡¡and¡¡gall¡¡more£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡memory¡¡of¡¡them¡¡is¡¡not¡¡so¡¡easily¡¡obliterated¡£¡¡¡¡This¡¡is¡¡cunningly¡¡represented¡¡by¡¡one¡¡of¡¡your¡¡old¡¡sages¡¡called¡¡Aesop£»¡¡in¡¡the¡¡story¡¡of¡¡the¡¡bird¡¡that¡¡was¡¡grieved¡¡extremely¡¡at¡¡being¡¡wounded¡¡with¡¡an¡¡arrow¡¡feathered¡¡with¡¡his¡¡own¡¡wing£»¡¡as¡¡also¡¡of¡¡the¡¡oak¡¡that¡¡let¡¡many¡¡a¡¡heavy¡¡groan¡¡when¡¡he¡¡was¡¡cleft¡¡with¡¡a¡¡wedge¡¡of¡¡his¡¡own¡¡timber¡£
There¡¡was¡¡no¡¡man¡¡in¡¡the¡¡world¡¡less¡¡subject¡¡to¡¡rancour¡¡than¡¡John¡¡Bull£»¡¡considering¡¡how¡¡often¡¡his¡¡good¡¡nature¡¡has¡¡been¡¡abused£»¡¡yet¡¡I¡¡don't¡¡know¡¡but¡¡he¡¡was¡¡too¡¡apt¡¡to¡¡hearken¡¡to¡¡tattling¡¡people¡¡that¡¡carry¡¡tales¡¡between¡¡him¡¡and¡¡his¡¡sister¡¡Peg£»¡¡on¡¡purpose¡¡to¡¡sow¡¡jealousies¡¡and¡¡set¡¡them¡¡together¡¡by¡¡the¡¡ears¡£¡¡¡¡They¡¡say¡¡that¡¡there¡¡were¡¡some¡¡hardships¡¡put¡¡upon¡¡Peg¡¡which¡¡had¡¡been¡¡better¡¡let¡¡alone£»¡¡but¡¡it¡¡was¡¡the¡¡business¡¡of¡¡good¡¡people¡¡to¡¡restrain¡¡the¡¡injuries¡¡on¡¡one¡¡side¡¡and¡¡moderate¡¡the¡¡resentments¡¡on¡¡the¡¡othera¡¡good¡¡friend¡¡acts¡¡both¡¡parts£»¡¡the¡¡one¡¡without¡¡the¡¡other¡¡will¡¡not¡¡do¡£
The¡¡purchase¡money¡¡of¡¡Peg's¡¡farm¡¡was¡¡ill¡¡paid£»*¡¡then¡¡Peg¡¡loved¡¡a¡¡little¡¡good¡¡liquor£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡servants¡¡shut¡¡up¡¡the¡¡wine¡cellar£»¡¡but¡¡for¡¡that¡¡Peg¡¡found¡¡a¡¡trick£»¡¡for¡¡she¡¡made¡¡a¡¡false¡¡key¡£**¡¡¡¡Peg's¡¡servants¡¡complained¡¡that¡¡they¡¡were¡¡debarred¡¡from¡¡all¡¡manner¡¡of¡¡business£»¡¡and¡¡never¡¡suffered¡¡to¡¡touch¡¡the¡¡least¡¡thing¡¡within¡¡the¡¡house£»¡¡if¡¡they¡¡offered¡¡to¡¡come¡¡into¡¡the¡¡warehouse£»¡¡then¡¡straight¡¡went¡¡the¡¡yard¡¡slap¡¡over¡¡their¡¡noddle£»¡¡if¡¡they¡¡ventured¡¡into¡¡the¡¡counting¡room¡¡a¡¡fellow¡¡would¡¡throw¡¡an¡¡ink¡bottle¡¡at¡¡their¡¡head£»¡¡if¡¡they¡¡came¡¡into¡¡the¡¡best¡¡apartment¡¡to¡¡set¡¡anything¡¡there¡¡in¡¡order£»¡¡they¡¡were¡¡saluted¡¡with¡¡a¡¡broom£»¡¡if¡¡they¡¡meddled¡¡with¡¡anything¡¡in¡¡the¡¡kitchen¡¡it¡¡was¡¡odds¡¡but¡¡the¡¡cook¡¡laid¡¡them¡¡over¡¡the¡¡pate¡¡with¡¡a¡¡ladle£»¡¡one¡¡that¡¡would¡¡have¡¡got¡¡into¡¡the¡¡stables¡¡was¡¡met¡¡by¡¡two¡¡rascals£»¡¡who¡¡fell¡¡to¡¡work¡¡with¡¡him¡¡with¡¡a¡¡brush¡¡and¡¡a¡¡curry¡comb£»¡¡some¡¡climbing¡¡up¡¡into¡¡the¡¡coachbox£»¡¡were¡¡told¡¡that¡¡one¡¡of¡¡their¡¡companions¡¡had¡¡been¡¡there¡¡before¡¡that¡¡could¡¡not¡¡drive£»¡¡then¡¡slap¡¡went¡¡the¡¡long¡¡whip¡¡about¡¡their¡¡ears¡£
*¡¡The¡¡equivalent¡¡not¡¡paid¡£¡¡**¡¡Run¡¡wine¡£
On¡¡the¡¡other¡¡hand£»¡¡it¡¡was¡¡complained¡¡that¡¡Peg's¡¡servants¡¡were¡¡always¡¡asking¡¡for¡¡drink¡money£»¡¡that¡¡they¡¡had¡¡more¡¡than¡¡their¡¡share¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Christmas¡box¡£*¡¡¡¡To¡¡say¡¡the¡¡truth£»¡¡Peg's¡¡lads¡¡bustled¡¡pretty¡¡hard¡¡for¡¡that£»¡¡for¡¡when¡¡they¡¡were¡¡endeavouring¡¡to¡¡lock¡¡it¡¡up¡¡they¡¡got¡¡in¡¡their¡¡great¡¡fists¡¡and¡¡pulled¡¡out¡¡handfuls¡¡of¡¡halfcrowns£»¡¡shillings£»¡¡and¡¡sixpences¡£¡¡¡¡Others¡¡in¡¡the¡¡scramble¡¡picked¡¡up¡¡guineas¡¡and¡¡broad¡pieces¡£¡¡¡¡But¡¡there¡¡happened¡¡a¡¡worse¡¡thing¡¡than¡¡all¡¡this£º¡¡¡¡it¡¡was¡¡complained¡¡that¡¡Peg's¡¡servants¡¡had¡¡great¡¡stomachs£»¡¡and¡¡brought¡¡so¡¡many¡¡of¡¡their¡¡friends¡¡and¡¡acquaintance¡¡to¡¡the¡¡table¡¡that¡¡John's¡¡family¡¡was¡¡like¡¡to¡¡be¡¡eaten¡¡out¡¡of¡¡house¡¡and¡¡home¡£¡¡¡¡Instead¡¡of¡¡regulating¡¡this¡¡matter¡¡as¡¡it¡¡ought¡¡to¡¡be£»¡¡Peg's¡¡young¡¡men¡¡were¡¡thrust¡¡away¡¡from¡¡the¡¡table£»¡¡then¡¡there¡¡was¡¡the¡¡devil¡¡and¡¡all¡¡to¡¡do¡¡spoons£»¡¡plates£»¡¡and¡¡dishes¡¡flew¡¡about¡¡the¡¡room¡¡like¡¡mad£»¡¡and¡¡Sir¡¡Roger£»¡¡who¡¡was¡¡now¡¡Majordomo£»¡¡had¡¡enough¡¡to¡¡do¡¡to¡¡quiet¡¡them¡£¡¡¡¡Peg¡¡said¡¡this¡¡was¡¡contrary¡¡to¡¡agreement£»¡¡whereby¡¡she¡¡was¡¡in¡¡all¡¡things¡¡to¡¡be¡¡treated¡¡like¡¡a¡¡child¡¡of¡¡the¡¡family¡£¡¡¡¡Then¡¡she¡¡called¡¡upon¡¡those¡¡that¡¡had¡¡made¡¡her¡¡such¡¡fair¡¡promises£»¡¡and¡¡undertook¡¡for¡¡her¡¡brother¡¡John's¡¡good¡¡behaviour£»¡¡but£»¡¡alas£¡¡¡to¡¡her¡¡cost¡¡she¡¡found¡¡that¡¡they¡¡were¡¡the¡¡first¡¡and¡¡readiest¡¡to¡¡do¡¡her¡¡the¡¡injury¡£¡¡¡¡John¡¡at¡¡last¡¡agreed¡¡to¡¡this¡¡regulation£º¡¡¡¡that¡¡Peg's¡¡footmen¡¡might¡¡sit¡¡with¡¡his¡¡book¡keeper£»¡¡journeymen£»¡¡and¡¡apprentices£»¡¡and¡¡Peg's¡¡better¡¡sort¡¡of¡¡servants¡¡might¡¡sit¡¡with¡¡his¡¡footmen¡¡if¡¡they¡¡pleased¡£**
*¡¡Endeavoured¡¡to¡¡get¡¡their¡¡share¡¡of¡¡places¡£¡¡**¡¡Articles¡¡of¡¡Union£»¡¡whereby¡¡they¡¡could¡¡make¡¡a¡¡Scot's¡¡commoner£»¡¡but¡¡not¡¡a¡¡lord¡¡a¡¡peer¡£
Then¡¡they¡¡began¡¡to¡¡order¡¡plum¡porridge¡¡and¡¡minced¡¡pies¡¡for¡¡Peg's¡¡dinner¡£¡¡¡¡Peg¡¡told¡¡them¡¡she¡¡had¡¡an¡¡aversion¡¡to¡¡that¡¡sort¡¡of¡¡food£»¡¡that¡¡upon¡¡forcing¡¡down¡¡a¡¡mess¡¡of¡¡it¡¡some¡¡years¡¡ago¡¡it¡¡threw¡¡her¡¡into¡¡a¡¡fit¡¡till¡¡she¡¡brought¡¡it¡¡up¡¡again¡£¡¡¡¡Some¡¡alleged¡¡it¡¡was¡¡nothing¡¡but¡¡humour£»¡¡that¡¡the¡¡same¡¡mess¡¡should¡¡be¡¡served¡¡up¡¡again¡¡for¡¡supper£»¡¡and¡¡breakfast¡¡next¡¡morning£»¡¡others¡¡would¡¡have¡¡made¡¡use¡¡of¡¡a¡¡horn£»¡¡but¡¡the¡¡wiser¡¡sort¡¡bid¡¡let¡¡her¡¡alone£»¡¡and¡¡she¡¡might¡¡take¡¡to¡¡it¡¡of¡¡her¡¡own¡¡acc