hemingway, ernest - garden of eden-第3节

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e　heavy　wind　behind　them　and　then　on　to　le　Grau　du　Roi。　They　had　been　there　ever　since。

It　had　been　wonderful　and　they　had　been　truly　happy　and　he　had　not　known　that　you　could　love　anyone　so　much　that　you　cared　about　nothing　else　and　other　things　seemed　inexistent。　He　had　many　problems　when　he　married　but　he　had　thought　of　none　of　them　here　nor　of　writing　nor　of　anything　but　being　with　this　girl　whom　he　loved　and　was　married　to　and　he　did　not　have　the　sudden　deadly　clarity　that　had　always　come　after　intercourse。

That　was　gone。　Now　when　they　had　made　love　they　would　eat　and　drink　and　make　love　again。　It　was　a　very　simple　world　and　he　had　never　been　truly　happy　in　any　other。　He　thought　that　it　must　be　the　same　with　her　and　certainly　she　acted　in　that　way　but　today　there　had　been　this　thing　about　the　change　and　the　surprise。　But　maybe　it　would　be　a　happy　change　and　a　good　surprise。　The　brandy　and　water　as　he　drank　it　and　read　the　local　paper　made　him　look　forward　to　whatever　it　was。

This　was　the　first　time　since　they　had　come　on　the　wedding　trip　that　he　had　taken　a　drink　of　brandy　or　whiskey　when　they　were　not　together。　But　he　was　not　working　and　his　only　rules　about　drinking　were　never　to　drink　before　or　while　he　was　working。　It　would　be　good　to　work　again　but　that　would　come　soon　enough　as　he　well　knew　and　he　must　remember　to　be　unselfish　about　it　and　make　it　as　clear　as　he　could　that　the　enforced　loneliness　was　regrettable　and　that　he　was　not　proud　of　it。　He　was　sure　she　would　be　fine　about　it　and　she　had　her　own　resources　but　he　hated　to　think　of　it；　the　work；　starting　when　they　were　as　they　were　now。　It　never　could　start　of　course　without　the　clarity　and　he　wondered　if　she　knew　that　and　if　that　was　why　she　drove　beyond　what　they　had　for　something　new　that　nothing　could　break。　But　what　could　it　be？　They　could　not　be　held　tighter　together　than　they　were　now　and　there　was　no　bad　ness　afterwards。　There　was　only　happiness　and　loving　each　other　and　then　hunger　and　replenishing　and　starting　over。

He　found　that　he　had　drunk　the　fine　a　l'eau　and　that　it　was　getting　late　in　the　afternoon。　He　ordered　another　and　started　to　concentrate　on　the　paper。　But　the　paper　did　not　interest　him　as　it　should　and　he　was　looking　out　at　the　sea　with　late　afternoon　sun　heavy　on　it　when　he　heard　her　come　into　the　cafe　and　say　in　her　throaty　voice；　〃Hello　darling。〃

She　came　quickly　to　the　table　and　sat　down　and　lifted　her　chin　and　looked　at　him　with　the　laughing　eyes　and　the　golden　face　with　the　tiny　freckles。　Her　hair　was　cropped　as　short　as　a　boy's。　It　was　cut　with　no　compromises。　It　was　brushed　back；　heavy　as　always；　but　the　sides　were　cut　short　and　the　ears　that　grew　close　to　her　head　were　clear　and　the　tawny　line　of　her　hair　was　cropped　close　to　her　head　and　smooth　and　sweeping　back。　She　turned　her　head　and　lifted　her　breasts　and　said；　〃Kiss　me　please。〃

He　kissed　her　and　looked　at　her　face　and　at　her　hair　and　he　kissed　her　again。

〃Do　you　like　it？　Feel　it　how　smooth。　Feel　it　in　back；〃　she　said。

He　felt　it　in　back。

〃Feel　on　my　cheek　and　feel　in　front　of　my　ear。　Run　your　fingers　up　at　the　sides。〃

〃You　see；〃　she　said。　〃That's　the　surprise。　I'm　a　girl。　But　now　I'm　a　boy　too　and　I　can　do　anything　and　anything　and　anything。〃

〃Sit　here　by　me；〃　he　said。　〃What　do　you　want；　brother。〃

〃Oh　thank　you；〃　she　said。　〃I'll　take　what　you're　having。　You　see　why　it's　dangerous；　don't　you？〃

〃Yes。　I　see。

〃But　wasn't　I　good　to　do　it？〃

〃Maybe。〃

〃Not　maybe。　No。　I　thought　about　it。　I've　thought　all　about　it。　Why　do　we　have　to　go　by　everyone　else's　rules？　We're　us。

〃We　were　having　a　good　time　and　I　didn't　feel　any　rules。〃

〃Would　you　please　just　put　your　hand　over　it　again。〃

He　did　and　he　kissed　her。

〃Oh　you're　sweet；〃　she　said。　〃And　you　do　like　it。　I　can　feel　and　I　can　tell。　You　don't　have　to　love　it。　Just　like　it　at　first。〃

〃I　like　it；〃　he　said。　〃And　you　have　such　a　beautifully　shaped　head　that　it　is　very　beautiful　with　the　lovely　bones　of　your　face。〃

〃Don't　you　like　it　at　the　sides？〃　she　asked。　〃It　isn't　faked　or　phony。　It's　a　true　boy's　haircut　and　not　from　any　beauty　shop。〃

〃Who　cut　it？〃

〃The　coiffeur　at　Aigues　Mortes。　The　one　who　cut　your　hair　a　week　ago。　You　told　him　how　you　wanted　yours　cut　then　and　I　told　him　to　cut　mine　just　the　same　as　yours。　He　was　very　nice　and　wasn't　at　all　surprised。　He　wasn't　worried　at　all。　He　said　exactly　like　yours？　And　I　said　exactly。　Doesn't　it　do　anything　to　you；　David？〃

〃Yes；〃　he　said。

〃Stupid　people　will　think　it　is　strange。　But　we　must　be　proud。　I　love　to　be　proud。〃

〃So　do　I；〃　he　said。　〃We'll　start　being　proud　now。

They　sat　there　in　the　cafe　and　watched　the　reflection　of　the　setting　sun　over　the　water　and　watched　the　dusk　come　to　the　town　and　they　drank　the　fine　l'eau。　People　came　by　the　cafe　without　being　rude　to　see　the　girl　because　they　had　been　the　only　foreigners　in　the　village　and　had　been　there　now　nearly　three　weeks　and　she　was　a　great　beauty　and　they　liked　her。　Then　there　had　been　the　big　fish　today　and　ordinarily　there　would　have　been　much　talk　about　that　but　this　other　was　a　big　thing　in　the　village　too。　No　decent　girls　had　ever　had　their　hair　cut　short　like　that　in　this　part　of　the　country　and　even　in　Paris　it　was　rare　and　strange　and　could　be　beautiful　or　could　be　very　bad。　It　could　mean　too　much　or　it　could　only　mean　showing　the　beautiful　shape　of　a　head　that　could　never　be　shown　as　well。

They　ate　a　steak　for　dinner；　rare；　with　mashed　potatoes　and　flageolets　and　a　salad　and　the　girl　asked　if　they　might　drink　Tavel。　〃It　is　a　great　wine　for　people　that　are　in　love；〃　she　said。

She　had　always　looked；　he　thought；　exactly　her　age　which　was　now　twenty…one。　He　had　been　very　proud　of　her　for　that。　But　tonight　she　did　not　look　it。　The　lines　of　her　cheekbones　showed　clear　as　he　had　never　seen　them　before　and　she　smiled　and　her　face　was　heartbreaking。


In　the　room　it　was　dark　with　only　a　little　light　from　outside。　It　was　cool　now　with　the　breeze　and　the　top　sheet　was　gone　from　the　bed。

〃Dave；　you　don't　mind　if　we've　gone　to　the　devil；　do　you？〃

〃No；　girl；〃　he　said。

〃Don't　call　me　girl。〃

〃Where　I'm　holding　you　you　are　a　girl；〃　he　said。　He　held　her　tight　around　her　breasts　and　he　opened　and　closed　his　fingers　feeling　her　and　the　hard　erect　freshness　between　his　fingers。

〃They're　just　my　dowry；〃　she　said。　〃The　new　is　my　surprise。　Feel。　No　leave　them。　They'll　be　there。　Feel　my　cheeks　and　the　back　of　my　neck。　Oh　it　feels　so　wonderful　and　good　and　clean　and　new。　Please　love　me　David　the　way　I　am。　Please　under　stand　and　love　me。〃

He　had　shut　his　eyes　and　he　could　feel　the　long　light　weight　of　her　on　him　and　her　breasts　pressing　against　him　and　her　lips　on　his。　He　lay　there　and　felt　something　and　then　her　hand　holding　him　and　searching　lower　and　he　helped　with　his　hands　and　then　lay　back　in　the　dark　and　did　not　think　at　all　and　only　felt　the　weight　and　the　strangeness　inside　and　she　said；　〃Now　you　can't　tell　who　is　who　can　you？〃

〃You　are　changing；〃　she　said。　〃Oh　you　are。　You　are。　Yes　you　are　and　you're　my　girl　Catherine。　Will　you　change　and　be　my　girl　and　let　me　take　you？〃

〃You're　Catherine。〃

〃No。　I'm　Peter。　You're　my　wonderful　Catherine。　You're　my　beautiful　lovely　Catherine。　You　were　so　good　to　change。　Oh　thank　you；　Catherine；　so　much。　Please　understand。　Please　know　and　understand。　I'm　going　to　make　love　to　you　forever。〃

At　the　end　they　were　both　dead　and　empty　but　it　was　not　over。　They　lay　side　by　side　in　the　dark　with　their　legs　touching　and　her　head　was　on　his　arm。　The　moon　had　risen　and　there　was　a　little　more　light　in　the　room。　She　ran　her　hand　exploringly　down　over　his　belly　without　looking　and　said；　〃You　don't　think　I'm　wicked？〃

〃Of　course　not。　But　how　long　have　you　thought　about　that？〃
〃Not　all　the　time。　But　quite　a　lot。　You　were　so　wonderful　to　let　it　happen。〃
The　young　man　put　his　arms　around　the　girl　and　held　her　very　tight　to　him　and　felt　her　lovely　breasts　against　his　chest　and　kissed　her　on　her　dear　mouth。　He　held　her　close　and　hard　and　inside　himself　he　said　goodbye　and　then　goodbye　and　goodbye。
〃Let's　lie　very　still　and　quiet　and　hold　each　other　and　not　think　at　all；〃　he　said　and　his　heart　said　goodbye　Catherine　good　bye　my　lovely　girl　goodbye　and　good　luck　and　goodbye。



Chapter　Two

HE　STOOD　UP　and　looked　up　and　down　the　beach；　corked　the　bottle　of　oil　and　put　it　in　a　side　pocket　of　the　rucksack　and　then　walked　down　to　the　sea　feeling　the　sand　grow　cool　under　his　feet。　He　looked　at　the　girl　on　her　back　on　the　sloping　beach；　her　eyes　closed；　her　arms　against　her　sides；　and　behind　her　the　slanted　square　of　canvas　and　the　　first　tufts　of　beach　grass。　She　ought　not　to　stay　too　long　in　that　position　with　the　sun　straight　up　and　down　on　her；　he　thought。　Then　he　walked　out　and　dove　flat　into　the　　clear　cold　water　and　turned　on　his　back　and　swam　backstroke　out　to　sea　watching　the　　beach　beyond　the　steady　beat　of　his　legs　and　feet。　He　turned　in　the　water　and　swam　　down　to　the　bottom　and　touched　the　coarse　sand　and　felt　the　heavy　ridges　of　it　and　then　　came　up　to　the　surface　and　swam　steadily　in；　seeing　how　slow　he　could　keep　the　beat　　of　his　crawl。　He　walked　up　to　the　girl　and　saw　that　she　was　asleep。　He　found　h