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the fatal boots-第12节

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the newspaper; then a stroll in Hyde Park or St。 James's; then home

at half…past three to dinnerwhen I jollied; as I call it; for the

rest of the day。  I was my mother's delight; and thus; with a clear

conscience; I managed to live on。



        。        。        。        。        。        。



How fond she was of me; to be sure!  Being sociable myself; and

loving to have my friends about me; we often used to assemble a

company of as hearty fellows as you would wish to sit down with;

and keep the nights up royally。  〃Never mind; my boys;〃 I used to

say。  〃Send the bottle round: mammy pays for all。〃  As she did;

sure enough: and sure enough we punished her cellar too。  The good

old lady used to wait upon us; as if for all the world she had been

my servant; instead of a lady and my mamma。  Never used she to

repine; though I often; as I must confess; gave her occasion

(keeping her up till four o'clock in the morning; because she never

could sleep until she saw her 〃dear Bob〃 in bed; and leading her a

sad anxious life)。  She was of such a sweet temper; the old lady;

that I think in the course of five years I never knew her in a

passion; except twice: and then with sister Lizzy; who declared I

was ruining the house; and driving the lodgers away; one by one。

But mamma would not hear of such envious spite on my sister's part。

〃Her Bob〃 was always right; she said。  At last Lizzy fairly

retreated; and went to the Waters's。I was glad of it; for her

temper was dreadful; and we used to be squabbling from morning till

night!



Ah; those WERE jolly times! but Ma was obliged to give up the

lodging…house at lastfor; somehow; things went wrong after my

sister's departurethe nasty uncharitable people said; on account

of ME; because I drove away the lodgers by smoking and drinking;

and kicking up noises in the house; and because Ma gave me so much

of her money:so she did; but if she WOULD give it; you know; how

could I help it?  Heigho!  I wish I'd KEPT it。



No such luck。  The business I thought was to last for ever: but at

the end of two years came a smashshut up shopsell off

everything。  Mamma went to the Waters's: and; will you believe it?

the ungrateful wretches would not receive me! that Mary; you see;

was SO disappointed at not marrying me。  Twenty pounds a year they

allow; it is true; but what's that for a gentleman?  For twenty

years I have been struggling manfully to gain an honest livelihood;

and; in the course of them; have seen a deal of life; to be sure。

I've sold cigars and pocket…handkerchiefs at the corners of

streets; I've been a billiard…marker; I've been a director (in the

panic year) of the Imperial British Consolidated Mangle and Drying

Ground Company。  I've been on the stage (for two years as an actor;

and about a month as a cad; when I was very low); I've been the

means of giving to the police of this empire some very valuable

information (about licensed victuallers; gentlemen's carts; and

pawnbrokers' names); I've been very nearly an officer againthat

is; an assistant to an officer of the Sheriff of Middlesex: it was

my last place。



On the last day of the year 1837; even THAT game was up。  It's a

thing that very seldom happened to a gentleman; to be kicked out of

a spunging…house; but such was my case。  Young Nabb (who succeeded

his father) drove me ignominiously from his door; because I had

charged a gentleman in the coffee…rooms seven…and…sixpence for a

glass of ale and bread and cheese; the charge of the house being

only six shillings。  He had the meanness to deduct the eighteenpence

from my wages; and because I blustered a bit; he took me by the

shoulders and turned me outme; a gentleman; and; what is more; a

poor orphan!



How I did rage and swear at him when I got out into the street!

There stood he; the hideous Jew monster; at the double door;

writhing under the effect of my language。  I had my revenge!  Heads

were thrust out of every bar of his windows; laughing at him。  A

crowd gathered round me; as I stood pounding him with my satire;

and they evidently enjoyed his discomfiture。  I think the mob would

have pelted the ruffian to death (one or two of their missiles hit

ME; I can tell you); when a policeman came up; and in reply to a

gentleman; who was asking what was the disturbance; said; 〃Bless

you; sir; it's Lord Cornwallis。〃  〃Move on; BOOTS;〃 said the fellow

to me; for the fact is; my misfortunes and early life are pretty

well knownand so the crowd dispersed。



〃What could have made that policeman call you Lord Cornwallis and

Boots?〃 said the gentleman; who seemed mightily amused; and had

followed me。  〃Sir;〃 says I; 〃I am an unfortunate officer of the

North Bungay Fencibles; and I'll tell you willingly for a pint of

beer。〃  He told me to follow him to his chambers in the Temple;

which I did (a five…pair back); and there; sure enough; I had the

beer; and told him this very story you've been reading。  You see he

is what is called a literary manand sold my adventures for me to

the booksellers; he's a strange chap; and says they're MORAL。



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I'm blest if I can see anything moral in them。  I'm sure I ought to

have been more lucky through life; being so very wide awake。  And

yet here I am; without a place; or even a friend; starving upon a

beggarly twenty pounds a yearnot a single sixpence more; upon MY

HONOR。











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