the fatal boots-第12节
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the newspaper; then a stroll in Hyde Park or St。 James's; then home
at half…past three to dinnerwhen I jollied; as I call it; for the
rest of the day。 I was my mother's delight; and thus; with a clear
conscience; I managed to live on。
。 。 。 。 。 。
How fond she was of me; to be sure! Being sociable myself; and
loving to have my friends about me; we often used to assemble a
company of as hearty fellows as you would wish to sit down with;
and keep the nights up royally。 〃Never mind; my boys;〃 I used to
say。 〃Send the bottle round: mammy pays for all。〃 As she did;
sure enough: and sure enough we punished her cellar too。 The good
old lady used to wait upon us; as if for all the world she had been
my servant; instead of a lady and my mamma。 Never used she to
repine; though I often; as I must confess; gave her occasion
(keeping her up till four o'clock in the morning; because she never
could sleep until she saw her 〃dear Bob〃 in bed; and leading her a
sad anxious life)。 She was of such a sweet temper; the old lady;
that I think in the course of five years I never knew her in a
passion; except twice: and then with sister Lizzy; who declared I
was ruining the house; and driving the lodgers away; one by one。
But mamma would not hear of such envious spite on my sister's part。
〃Her Bob〃 was always right; she said。 At last Lizzy fairly
retreated; and went to the Waters's。I was glad of it; for her
temper was dreadful; and we used to be squabbling from morning till
night!
Ah; those WERE jolly times! but Ma was obliged to give up the
lodging…house at lastfor; somehow; things went wrong after my
sister's departurethe nasty uncharitable people said; on account
of ME; because I drove away the lodgers by smoking and drinking;
and kicking up noises in the house; and because Ma gave me so much
of her money:so she did; but if she WOULD give it; you know; how
could I help it? Heigho! I wish I'd KEPT it。
No such luck。 The business I thought was to last for ever: but at
the end of two years came a smashshut up shopsell off
everything。 Mamma went to the Waters's: and; will you believe it?
the ungrateful wretches would not receive me! that Mary; you see;
was SO disappointed at not marrying me。 Twenty pounds a year they
allow; it is true; but what's that for a gentleman? For twenty
years I have been struggling manfully to gain an honest livelihood;
and; in the course of them; have seen a deal of life; to be sure。
I've sold cigars and pocket…handkerchiefs at the corners of
streets; I've been a billiard…marker; I've been a director (in the
panic year) of the Imperial British Consolidated Mangle and Drying
Ground Company。 I've been on the stage (for two years as an actor;
and about a month as a cad; when I was very low); I've been the
means of giving to the police of this empire some very valuable
information (about licensed victuallers; gentlemen's carts; and
pawnbrokers' names); I've been very nearly an officer againthat
is; an assistant to an officer of the Sheriff of Middlesex: it was
my last place。
On the last day of the year 1837; even THAT game was up。 It's a
thing that very seldom happened to a gentleman; to be kicked out of
a spunging…house; but such was my case。 Young Nabb (who succeeded
his father) drove me ignominiously from his door; because I had
charged a gentleman in the coffee…rooms seven…and…sixpence for a
glass of ale and bread and cheese; the charge of the house being
only six shillings。 He had the meanness to deduct the eighteenpence
from my wages; and because I blustered a bit; he took me by the
shoulders and turned me outme; a gentleman; and; what is more; a
poor orphan!
How I did rage and swear at him when I got out into the street!
There stood he; the hideous Jew monster; at the double door;
writhing under the effect of my language。 I had my revenge! Heads
were thrust out of every bar of his windows; laughing at him。 A
crowd gathered round me; as I stood pounding him with my satire;
and they evidently enjoyed his discomfiture。 I think the mob would
have pelted the ruffian to death (one or two of their missiles hit
ME; I can tell you); when a policeman came up; and in reply to a
gentleman; who was asking what was the disturbance; said; 〃Bless
you; sir; it's Lord Cornwallis。〃 〃Move on; BOOTS;〃 said the fellow
to me; for the fact is; my misfortunes and early life are pretty
well knownand so the crowd dispersed。
〃What could have made that policeman call you Lord Cornwallis and
Boots?〃 said the gentleman; who seemed mightily amused; and had
followed me。 〃Sir;〃 says I; 〃I am an unfortunate officer of the
North Bungay Fencibles; and I'll tell you willingly for a pint of
beer。〃 He told me to follow him to his chambers in the Temple;
which I did (a five…pair back); and there; sure enough; I had the
beer; and told him this very story you've been reading。 You see he
is what is called a literary manand sold my adventures for me to
the booksellers; he's a strange chap; and says they're MORAL。
。 。 。 。 。 。
I'm blest if I can see anything moral in them。 I'm sure I ought to
have been more lucky through life; being so very wide awake。 And
yet here I am; without a place; or even a friend; starving upon a
beggarly twenty pounds a yearnot a single sixpence more; upon MY
HONOR。
End