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that where Mrs。 Stubbs owed a hundred pounds; she might owe a

thousand) so I sent for Mr。 Nabb; and tendering him a cheque for

150L。 and his costs; requested to be let out forthwith。  〃Here;

fellow;〃 said I; 〃is a cheque on Child's for your paltry sum。〃



〃It may be a sheck on Shild's;〃 says Mr。 Nabb; 〃but I should be a

baby to let you out on such a paper as dat。〃



〃Well;〃 said I; 〃Child's is but a step from this: you may go and

get the cash;just give me an acknowledgment。〃



Nabb drew out the acknowledgment with great punctuality; and set

off for the bankers'; whilst I prepared myself for departure from

this abominable prison。



He smiled as he came in。  〃Well;〃 said I; 〃you have touched your

money; and now; I must tell you; that you are the most infernal

rogue and extortioner I ever met with。〃



〃Oh; no; Mishter Shtubbsh;〃 says he; grinning still。  〃Dere is som

greater roag dan me;mosh greater。〃



〃Fellow;〃 said I; 〃don't stand grinning before a gentleman; but

give me my hat and cloak; and let me leave your filthy den。〃



〃Shtop; Shtubbsh;〃 says he; not even Mistering me this time。  〃Here

ish a letter; vich you had better read。〃



I opened the letter; something fell to the ground:it was my

cheque。



The letter ran thus: 〃Messrs。 Child and Co。 present their

compliments to Captain Stubbs; and regret that they have been

obliged to refuse payment of the enclosed; having been served this

day with an attachment by Messrs。 Solomonson and Co。; which compels

them to retain Captain Stubbs' balance of 2;010L。 11s。 6d。 until

the decision of the suit of Solomonson v。 Stubbs。



〃FLEET STREET。〃



〃You see;〃 says Mr。 Nabb; as I read this dreadful letter〃you see;

Shtubbsh; dere vas two debts;a little von and a big von。  So dey

arrested you for de little von; and attashed your money for de big

von。〃



Don't laugh at me for telling this story。  If you knew what tears

are blotting over the paper as I write itif you knew that for

weeks after I was more like a madman than a sane man;a madman in

the Fleet Prison; where I went instead of to the desert island!

What had I done to deserve it?  Hadn't I always kept an eye to the

main chance?  Hadn't I lived economically; and not like other young

men?  Had I ever been known to squander or give away a single

penny?  No!  I can lay my hand on my heart; and; thank heaven; say;

No!  Why; why was I punished so?



Let me conclude this miserable history。  Seven monthsmy wife saw

me once or twice; and then dropped me altogetherI remained in

that fatal place。  I wrote to my dear mamma; begging her to sell

her furniture; but got no answer。  All my old friends turned their

backs upon me。  My action went against meI had not a penny to

defend it。  Solomonson proved my wife's debt; and seized my two

thousand pounds。  As for the detainer against me; I was obliged to

go through the court for the relief of insolvent debtors。  I passed

through it; and came out a beggar。  But fancy the malice of that

wicked Stiffelkind: he appeared in court as my creditor for 3L。;

with sixteen years' interest at five per cent; for a PAIR OF TOP…

BOOTS。  The old thief produced them in court; and told the whole

storyLord Cornwallis; the detection; the pumping and all。



Commissioner Dubobwig was very funny about it。  〃So Doctor

Swishtail would not pay you for the boots; eh; Mr。 Stiffelkind?〃



〃No: he said; ven I asked him for payment; dey was ordered by a

yong boy; and I ought to have gone to his schoolmaster。〃



〃What! then you came on a BOOTLESS errand; ay; sir?〃  (A laugh。)



〃Bootless! no sare; I brought de boots back vid me。  How de devil

else could I show dem to you?〃  (Another laugh。)



〃You've never SOLED 'em since; Mr。 Tickleshins?〃



〃I never would sell dem; I svore I never vood; on porpus to be

revenged on dat Stobbs。〃



〃What! your wound has never been HEALED; eh?〃



〃Vat do you mean vid your bootless errands; and your soling and

healing?  I tell you I have done vat I svore to do: I have exposed

him at school; I have broak off a marriage for him; ven he vould

have had tventy tousand pound; and now I have showed him up in a

court of justice。  Dat is vat I 'ave done; and dat's enough。〃  And

then the old wretch went down; whilst everybody was giggling and

staring at poor meas if I was not miserable enough already。



〃This seems the dearest pair of boots you ever had in your life;

Mr。 Stubbs;〃 said Commissioner Dubobwig very archly; and then he

began to inquire about the rest of my misfortunes。



In the fulness of my heart I told him the whole of them: how Mr。

Solomonson the attorney had introduced me to the rich widow; Mrs。

Manasseh; who had fifty thousand pounds; and an estate in the West

Indies。  How I was married; and arrested on coming to town; and

cast in an action for two thousand pounds brought against me by

this very Solomonson for my wife's debts。



〃Stop!〃 says a lawyer in the court。  〃Is this woman a showy black…

haired woman with one eye? very often drunk; with three children?

Solomonson; short; with red hair?〃



〃Exactly so;〃 said I; with tears in my eyes。



〃That woman has married THREE MEN within the last two years。  One

in Ireland; and one at Bath。  A Solomonson is; I believe; her

husband; and they both are off for America ten days ago。〃



〃But why did you not keep your 2;000L。?〃 said the lawyer。



〃Sir; they attached it。〃



〃Oh; well; we may pass you。  You have been unlucky; Mr。 Stubbs; but

it seems as if the biter had been bit in this affair。〃



〃No;〃 said Mr。 Dubobwig。  〃Mr。 Stubbs is the victim of a FATAL

ATTACHMENT。〃





NOVEMBER。A GENERAL POST DELIVERY。





I was a free man when I went out of the Court; but I was a beggar

I; Captain Stubbs; of the bold North Bungays; did not know where I

could get a bed; or a dinner。



As I was marching sadly down Portugal Street; I felt a hand on my

shoulder and a rough voice which I knew well。



〃Vell; Mr。 Stobbs; have I not kept my promise?  I told you dem

boots would be your ruin。〃



I was much too miserable to reply; and only cast my eyes towards

the roofs of the houses; which I could not see for the tears。



〃Vat! you begin to gry and blobber like a shild? you vood marry;

vood you? and noting vood do for you but a vife vid monnyha; ha

but you vere de pigeon; and she was de grow。  She has plocked you;

too; pretty velleh? ha! ha!〃



〃Oh; Mr。 Stiffelkind;〃 said I; 〃don't laugh at my misery: she has

not left me a single shilling under heaven。  And I shall starve: I

do believe I shall starve。〃  And I began to cry fit to break my

heart。



〃Starf! stoff and nonsense!  You vill never die of starfingyou

vill die of HANGING; I tinkho! ho!and it is moch easier vay

too。〃  I didn't say a word; but cried on; till everybody in the

street turned round and stared。



〃Come; come;〃 said Stiffelkind; 〃do not gry; Gaptain Stobbsit is

not goot for a Gaptain to gryha! ha!  Derecome vid me; and you

shall have a dinner; and a bregfast too;vich shall gost you

nothing; until you can bay vid your earnings。〃



And so this curious old man; who had persecuted me all through my

prosperity; grew compassionate towards me in my ill…luck; and took

me home with him as he promised。  〃I saw your name among de

Insolvents; and I vowed; you know; to make you repent dem boots。

Dere; now; it is done and forgotten; look you。  Here; Betty;

Bettchen; make de spare bed; and put a clean knife and fork; Lort

Cornvallis is come to dine vid me。〃



I lived with this strange old man for six weeks。  I kept his books;

and did what little I could to make myself useful: carrying about

boots and shoes; as if I had never borne his Majesty's commission。

He gave me no money; but he fed and lodged me comfortably。  The men

and boys used to laugh; and call me General; and Lord Cornwallis;

and all sorts of nicknames; and old Stiffelkind made a thousand new

ones for me。



One day I can recollectone miserable day; as I was polishing on

the trees a pair of boots of Mr。 Stiffelkind's manufacturethe old

gentleman came into the shop; with a lady on his arm。



〃Vere is Gaptain Stobbs?〃 said he。  〃Vere is dat ornament to his

Majesty's service?〃



I came in from the back shop; where I was polishing the boots; with

one of them in my hand。



〃Look; my dear;〃 says he; 〃here is an old friend of yours; his

Excellency Lort Cornvallis!Who would have thought such a nobleman

vood turn shoeblack?  Captain Stobbs; here is your former flame; my

dear niece; Miss Grotty。  How could you; Magdalen; ever leaf such a

lof of a man?  Shake hands vid her; Gaptain;dere; never mind de

blacking!〃  But Miss drew back。



〃I never shake hands with a SHOEBLACK;〃 said she; mighty

contemptuous。



〃Bah! my lof; his fingers von't soil you。  Don't you know he has

just been VITEVASHED?〃



〃I wish; uncle;〃 says she; 〃you would not leave me w

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