northanger abbey(诺桑觉奇)-第58节
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part I am obliged to perform。 I am indeed a most unwilling
messenger。 After what has so lately passed； so lately been settled
between us—how joyfully； how thankfully on my side！—as to your
continuing here as I hoped for many； many weeks longer； how can
I tell you that your kindness is not to be accepted—and that the
happiness your company has hitherto given us is to be repaid by—
but I must not trust myself with words。 My dear Catherine； we are
to part。 My father has recollected an engagement that takes our
whole family away on Monday。 We are going to Lord Longtown’s；
near Hereford； for a fortnight。 Explanation and apology are
equally impossible。 I cannot attempt either。”
“My dear Eleanor；” cried Catherine； suppressing her feelings as
well as she could； “do not be so distressed。 A second engagement
must give way to a first。 I am very； very sorry we are to part—so
soon； and so suddenly too； but I am not offended； indeed I am not。
I can finish my visit here； you know； at any time； or I hope you will
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come to me。 Can you； when you return from this lord’s； come to
Fullerton？”
“It will not be in my power； Catherine。”
“Come when you can； then。”
Eleanor made no answer； and Catherine’s thoughts recurring to
something more directly interesting； she added； thinking aloud；
“Monday—so soon as Monday； and you all go。 Well； I am certain
of—I shall be able to take leave； however。 I need not go till just
before you do； you know。 Do not be distressed； Eleanor； I can go
on Monday very well。 My father and mother’s having no notice of
it is of very little consequence。 The General will send a servant
with me； I dare say； half the way—and then I shall soon be at
Salisbury； and then I am only nine miles from home。”
“Ah； Catherine！ were it settled so； it would be somewhat less
intolerable； though in such common attentions you would have
received but half what you ought。 But—how can I tell you？—
tomorrow morning is fixed for your leaving us； and not even the
hour is left to your choice； the very carriage is ordered； and will be
here at seven o’clock； and no servant will be offered you。”
Catherine sat down； breathless and speechless。 “I could hardly
believe my senses； when I heard it；—and no displeasure； no
resentment that you can feel at this moment； however justly great；
can be more than I myself—but I must not talk of what I felt。 Oh！
that I could suggest anything in extenuation！ Good God！ what will
your father and mother say！ After courting you from the
protection of real friends to this—almost double distance from
your home； to have you driven out of the house； without the
considerations even of decent civility！ Dear； dear Catherine； in
being the bearer of such a message； I seem guilty myself of all its
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insult； yet； I trust you will acquit me； for you must have been long
enough in this house to see that I am but a nominal mistress of it；
that my real power is nothing。”
“Have I offended the General？” said Catherine in a faltering
voice。
“Alas！ for my feelings as a daughter； all that I know； all that I
answer for； is that you can have given him no just cause of offence。
He certainly is greatly； very greatly discomposed； I have seldom
seen him more so。 His temper is not happy； and something has
now occurred to ruffle it in an uncommon degree； some
disappointment； some vexation； which just at this moment seems
important； but which I can hardly suppose you to have any
concern in； for how is it possible？”
It was with pain that Catherine could speak at all； and it was
only for Eleanor’s sake that she attempted it。 “I am sure；” said she；
“I am very sorry if I have offended him。 It was the last thing I
would willingly have done。 But do not be unhappy； Eleanor。 An
engagement； you know； must be kept。 I am only sorry it was not
recollected sooner； that I might have written home。 But it is of
very little consequence。”
“I hope； I earnestly hope； that to your real safety it will be of
none； but to every thing else it is of the greatest consequence； to
comfort； appearance； propriety； to your family； to the world。 Were
your friends； the Allens； still in Bath； you might go to them with
comparative ease； a few hours would take you there； but a journey
of seventy miles； to be taken post by you； at your age； alone；
unattended！”
“Oh； the journey is nothing。 Do not think about that。 And if we
are to part； a few hours sooner or later； you know； makes no
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difference。 I can be ready by seven。 Let me be called in time。”
Eleanor saw that she wished to be alone； and believing it better for
each that they should avoid any further conversation； now left her
with； “I shall see you in the morning。”
Catherine’s swelling heart needed relief。 In Eleanor’s presence
friendship and pride had equally restrained her tears； but no
sooner was she gone than they burst forth in torrents。 Turned
from the house； and in such a way！—Without any reason that
could justify； any apology that could atone for the abruptness； the
rudeness； nay； the insolence of it。 Henry at a distance—not able
even to bid him farewell。 Every hope； every expectation from him
suspended； at least； and who could say how long？—Who could say
when they might meet again？—And all this by such a man as
General Tilney； so polite； so well bred； and heretofore so
particularly fond of her！ It was as incomprehensible as it was
mortifying and grievous。 From what it could arise； and where it
would end； were considerations of equal perplexity and alarm。
The manner in which it was done so grossly uncivil； hurrying her
away without any reference to her own convenience； or allowing
her even the appearance of choice as to the time or mode of her
travelling； of two days； the earliest fixed on； and of that almost the
earliest hour； as if resolved to have her gone before he was stirring
in the morning； that he might not be obliged even to see her。 What
could all this mean but an intentional affront？ By some means or
other she must have had the misfortune to offend him。 Eleanor
had wished to spare her from so painful a notion； but Catherine
could not believe it possible that any injury or any misfortune
could provoke such ill…will against a person not connected； or； at
least； not supposed to be connected with it。
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Heavily passed the night。 Sleep； or repose that deserved the
name of sleep； was out of the question。 That room； in which her
disturbed imagination had tormented her on her first arrival； was
again the scene of agitated spirits and unquiet slumbers。 Yet how
different now the source of her inquietude from what it had been
then—how mournfully superior in reality and substance！ Her
anxiety had foundation in fact； her fears in probability； and with a
mind so occupied in the contemplation of actual and natural evil；
the solitude of her situation； the darkness of her chamber；
