northanger abbey(诺桑觉奇)-第36节
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Catherine； with all the earnestness of truth； expressed her
astonishment at such a charge； protesting her innocence of every
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thought of Mr。 Thorpe’s being in love with her； and the
consequent impossibility of her having ever intended to encourage
him。 “As to any attentions on his side； I do declare； upon my
honour； I never was sensible of them for a moment—except just
his asking me to dance the first day of his coming。 And as to
making me an offer； or anything like it； there must be some
unaccountable mistake。 I could not have misunderstood a thing of
that kind； you know！—and； as I ever wish to be believed； I
solemnly protest that no syllable of such a nature ever passed
between us。 The last half hour before he went away！—It must be
all and completely a mistake—for I did not see him once that
whole morning。”
“But that you certainly did； for you spent the whole morning in
Edgar’s…buildings—it was the day your father’s consent came—
and I am pretty sure that you and John were alone in the parlour
some time before you left the house。”
“Are you？ Well； if you say it； it was so； I dare say—but for the
life of me； I cannot recollect it。 I do remember now being with you；
and seeing him as well as the rest—but that we were ever alone for
five minutes—However； it is not worth arguing about； for
whatever might pass on his side； you must be convinced； by my
having no recollection of it； that I never thought； nor expected； nor
wished for anything of the kind from him。 I am excessively
concerned that he should have any regard for me—but indeed it
has been quite unintentional on my side； I never had the smallest
idea of it。 Pray undeceive him as soon as you can； and tell him I
beg his pardon—that is—I do not know what I ought to say—but
make him understand what I mean； in the properest way。 I would
not speak disrespectfully of a brother of yours； Isabella； I am sure；
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but you know very well that if I could think of one man more than
another—he is not the person。” Isabella was silent。 “My dear
friend； you must not be angry with me。 I cannot suppose your
brother cares so very much about me。 And； you know； we shall still
be sisters。”
“Yes； yes” （with a blush） “there are more ways than one of our
being sisters。—But where am I wandering to？—Well； my dear
Catherine； the case seems to be that you are determined against
poor John—is not it so？”
“I certainly cannot return his affection； and as certainly never
meant to encourage it。”
“Since that is the case； I am sure I shall not tease you any
further。 John desired me to speak to you on the subject； and
therefore I have。 But I confess； as soon as I read his letter； I
thought it a very foolish； imprudent business； and not likely to
promote the good of either； for what were you to live upon；
supposing you came together？ You have both of you something； to
be sure； but it is not a trifle that will support a family now…a…days；
and after all that romancers may say； there is no doing without
money。 I only wonder John could think of it； he could not have
received my last。”
“You do acquit me； then； of anything wrong？—You are
convinced that I never meant to deceive your brother； never
suspected him of liking me till this moment？”
“Oh！ As to that；” answered Isabella laughingly； “I do not
pretend to determine what your thoughts and designs in time past
may have been。 All that is best known to yourself。 A little harmless
flirtation or so will occur； and one is often drawn on to give more
encouragement than one wishes to stand by。 But you may be
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assured that I am the last person in the world to judge you
severely。 All those things should be allowed for in youth and high
spirits。 What one means one day； you know； one may not mean the
next。 Circumstances change； opinions alter。”
“But my opinion of your brother never did alter； it was always
the same。 You are describing what never happened。”
“My dearest Catherine；” continued the other without at all
listening to her； “I would not for all the world be the means of
hurrying you into an engagement before you knew what you were
about。 I do not think anything would justify me in wishing you to
sacrifice all your happiness merely to oblige my brother； because
he is my brother； and who perhaps after all； you know； might be
just as happy without you； for people seldom know what they
would be at； young men especially； they are so amazingly
changeable and inconstant。 What I say is； why should a brother’s
happiness be dearer to me than a friend’s？ You know I carry my
notions of friendship pretty high。 But； above all things； my dear
Catherine； do not be in a hurry。 Take my word for it； that if you
are in too great a hurry； you will certainly live to repent it。 Tilney
says there is nothing people are so often deceived in as the state of
their own affections； and I believe he is very right。 Ah！ Here he
comes； never mind； he will not see us； I am sure。”
Catherine； looking up； perceived Captain Tilney； and Isabella；
earnestly fixing her eye on him as she spoke； soon caught his
notice。 He approached immediately； and took the seat to which
her movements invited him。 His first address made Catherine
start。 Though spoken low； she could distinguish； “What！ Always to
be watched； in person or by proxy！”
“Psha； nonsense！” was Isabella’s answer in the same half
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whisper。 “Why do you put such things into my head？ If I could
believe it—my spirit； you know； is pretty independent。”
“I wish your heart were independent。 That would be enough for
me。”
“My heart； indeed！ What can you have to do with hearts？ You
men have none of you any hearts。”
“If we have not hearts； we have eyes； and they give us torment
enough。”
“Do they？ I am sorry for it； I am sorry they find anything so
disagreeable in me。 I will look another way。 I hope this pleases
you；” （turning her back on him；） “I hope your eyes are not
tormented now。”
“Never more so； for the edge of a blooming cheek is still in
view—at once too much and too little。”
Catherine heard all this； and quite out of countenance； could
listen no longer。 Amazed that Isabella could endure it； and jealous
for her brother； she rose up； and saying she should join Mrs。 Allen；
proposed their walking。 But for this Isabella showed no
inclination。 She was so amazingly tired； and it was so odious to
parade about the Pump…room； and if she moved from her seat she
should miss her sisters； she was expecting her sisters every
moment； so that her dearest Catherine must excuse her； and must
sit quietly down again。 But Catherine could be stubborn too； and
Mrs。 Allen just then coming up to propose their returning home；
she joined her and walked out of the Pump…room； leaving Isabella
still sitting with Cap
