the girl with the golden eyes-第15节

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I　may　have　wished　will　be　known；　as　a　drama　which　is　accomplished　is
known；　but　to　let　my　game　be　seenweakness；　mistake！　I　know　nothing
more　despicable　than　strength　outwitted　by　cunning。　Can　I　initiate
myself　with　a　laugh　into　the　ambassador's　part；　if　indeed　diplomacy　is
as　difficult　as　life？　I　doubt　it。　Have　you　any　ambition？　Would　you
like　to　become　something？〃

〃But；　Henri；　you　are　laughing　at　meas　though　I　were　not　sufficiently
mediocre　to　arrive　at　anything。〃

〃Good　Paul！　If　you　go　on　laughing　at　yourself；　you　will　soon　be　able
to　laugh　at　everybody　else。〃

At　breakfast；　by　the　time　he　had　started　his　cigars；　De　Marsay　began
to　see　the　events　of　the　night　in　a　singular　light。　Like　many　men　of
great　intelligence；　his　perspicuity　was　not　spontaneous；　as　it　did　not
at　once　penetrate　to　the　heart　of　things。　As　with　all　natures　endowed
with　the　faculty　of　living　greatly　in　the　present；　of　extracting；　so
to　speak；　the　essence　of　it　and　assimilating　it；　his　second…sight　had
need　of　a　sort　of　slumber　before　it　could　identify　itself　with　causes。
Cardinal　de　Richelieu　was　so　constituted；　and　it　did　not　debar　in　him
the　gift　of　foresight　necessary　to　the　conception　of　great　designs。

De　Marsay's　conditions　were　alike；　but　at　first　he　only　used　his
weapons　for　the　benefit　of　his　pleasures；　and　only　became　one　of　the
most　profound　politicians　of　his　day　when　he　had　saturated　himself
with　those　pleasures　to　which　a　young　man's　thoughtswhen　he　has
money　and　powerare　primarily　directed。　Man　hardens　himself　thus：　he
uses　woman　in　order　that　she　may　not　make　use　of　him。

At　this　moment；　then；　De　Marsay　perceived　that　he　had　been　fooled　by
the　girl　of　the　golden　eyes；　seeing；　as　he　did；　in　perspective；　all
that　night　of　which　the　delights　had　been　poured　upon　him　by　degrees
until　they　had　ended　by　flooding　him　in　torrents。　He　could　read；　at
last；　that　page　in　effect　so　brilliant；　divine　its　hidden　meaning。　The
purely　physical　innocence　of　Paquita；　the　bewilderment　of　her　joy；
certain　words；　obscure　at　first；　but　now　clear；　which　had　escaped　her
in　the　midst　of　that　joy；　all　proved　to　him　that　he　had　posed　for
another　person。　As　no　social　corruption　was　unknown　to　him；　as　he
professed　a　complete　indifference　towards　all　perversities；　and
believed　them　to　be　justified　on　the　simple　ground　that　they　were
capable　of　satisfaction；　he　was　not　startled　at　vice；　he　knew　it　as
one　knows　a　friend；　but　he　was　wounded　at　having　served　as　sustenance
for　it。　If　his　presumption　was　right；　he　had　been　outraged　in　the　most
sensitive　part　of　him。　The　mere　suspicion　filled　him　with　fury；　he
broke　out　with　the　roar　of　a　tiger　who　has　been　the　sport　of　a　deer；
the　cry　of　a　tiger　which　united　a　brute's　strength　with　the
intelligence　of　the　demon。

〃I　say；　what　is　the　matter　with　you？〃　asked　Paul。

〃Nothing！〃

〃I　should　be　sorry；　if　you　were　to　be　asked　whether　you　had　anything
against　me　and　were　to　reply　with　a　/nothing/　like　that！　It　would　be　a
sure　case　of　fighting　the　next　day。〃

〃I　fight　no　more　duels；〃　said　De　Marsay。

〃That　seems　to　me　even　more　tragical。　Do　you　assassinate；　then？〃

〃You　travesty　words。　I　execute。〃

〃My　dear　friend；〃　said　Paul；　〃your　jokes　are　of　a　very　sombre　color
this　morning。〃

〃What　would　you　have？　Pleasure　ends　in　cruelty。　Why？　I　don't　know；　and
am　not　sufficiently　curious　to　try　and　find　out。　。　。　。　These　cigars
are　excellent。　Give　your　friend　some　tea。　Do　you　know；　Paul；　I　live　a
brute's　life？　It　should　be　time　to　choose　oneself　a　destiny；　to　employ
one's　powers　on　something　which　makes　life　worth　living。　Life　is　a
singular　comedy。　I　am　frightened；　I　laugh　at　the　inconsequence　of　our
social　order。　The　Government　cuts　off　the　heads　of　poor　devils　who　may
have　killed　a　man　and　licenses　creatures　who　despatch；　medically
speaking；　a　dozen　young　folks　in　a　season。　Morality　is　powerless
against　a　dozen　vices　which　destroy　society　and　which　nothing　can
punish。Another　cup！Upon　my　word　of　honor！　man　is　a　jester　dancing
upon　a　precipice。　They　talk　to　us　about　the　immorality　of　the
/Liaisons　Dangereuses/；　and　any　other　book　you　like　with　a　vulgar
reputation；　but　there　exists　a　book；　horrible；　filthy；　fearful；
corrupting；　which　is　always　open　and　will　never　be　shut；　the　great
book　of　the　world；　not　to　mention　another　book；　a　thousand　times　more
dangerous；　which　is　composed　of　all　that　men　whisper　into　each　other's
ears；　or　women　murmur　behind　their　fans；　of　an　evening　in　society。〃

〃Henri；　there　is　certainly　something　extraordinary　the　matter　with
you；　that　is　obvious　in　spite　of　your　active　discretion。〃

〃Yes！　。　。　。　Come；　I　must　kill　the　time　until　this　evening。　Let's　to
the　tables。　。　。　。　Perhaps　I　shall　have　the　good　luck　to　lose。〃

De　Marsay　rose；　took　a　handful　of　banknotes　and　folded　them　into　his
cigar…case；　dressed　himself；　and　took　advantage　of　Paul's　carriage　to
repair　to　the　Salon　des　Etrangers；　where　until　dinner　he　consumed　the
time　in　those　exciting　alternations　of　loss　and　gain　which　are　the
last　resource　of　powerful　organizations　when　they　are　compelled　to
exercise　themselves　in　the　void。　In　the　evening　he　repaired　to　the
trysting…place　and　submitted　complacently　to　having　his　eyes　bandaged。
Then；　with　that　firm　will　which　only　really　strong　men　have　the
faculty　of　concentrating；　he　devoted　his　attention　and　applied　his
intelligence　to　the　task　of　divining　through　what　streets　the　carriage
passed。　He　had　a　sort　of　certitude　of　being　taken　to　the　Rue　Saint…
Lazare；　and　being　brought　to　a　halt　at　the　little　gate　in　the　garden
of　the　Hotel　San…Real。　When　he　passed；　as　on　the　first　occasion；
through　this　gate；　and　was　put　in　a　litter；　carried；　doubtless　by　the
mulatto　and　the　coachman；　he　understood；　as　he　heard　the　gravel　grate
beneath　their　feet；　why　they　took　such　minute　precautions。　He　would
have　been　able；　had　he　been　free；　or　if　he　had　walked；　to　pluck　a　twig
of　laurel；　to　observe　the　nature　of　the　soil　which　clung　to　his　boots；
whereas；　transported；　so　to　speak；　ethereally　into　an　inaccessible
mansion；　his　good　fortune　must　remain　what　it　had　been　hitherto；　a
dream。　But　it　is　man's　despair　that　all　his　work；　whether　for　good　or
evil；　is　imperfect。　All　his　labors；　physical　or　intellectual；　are
sealed　with　the　mark　of　destruction。　There　had　been　a　gentle　rain；　the
earth　was　moist。　At　night…time　certain　vegetable　perfumes　are　far
stronger　than　during　the　day；　Henri　could　smell；　therefore；　the　scent
of　the　mignonette　which　lined　the　avenue　along　which　he　was　conveyed。
This　indication　was　enough　to　light　him　in　the　researches　which　he
promised　himself　to　make　in　order　to　recognize　the　hotel　which
contained　Paquita's　boudoir。　He　studied　in　the　same　way　the　turnings
which　his　bearers　took　within　the　house；　and　believed　himself　able　to
recall　them。

As　on　the　previous　night；　he　found　himself　on　the　ottoman　before
Paquita；　who　was　undoing　his　bandage；　but　he　saw　her　pale　and　altered。
She　had　wept。　On　her　knees　like　an　angel　in　prayer；　but　like　an　angel
profoundly　sad　and　melancholy；　the　poor　girl　no　longer　resembled　the
curious；　impatient；　and　impetuous　creature　who　had　carried　De　Marsay
on　her　wings　to　transport　him　to　the　seventh　heaven　of　love。　There　was
something　so　true　in　this　despair　veiled　by　pleasure；　that　the
terrible　De　Marsay　felt　within　him　an　admiration　for　this　new
masterpiece　of　nature；　and　forgot；　for　the　moment；　the　chief　interest
of　his　assignation。

〃What　is　the　matter　with　thee；　my　Paquita？〃

〃My　friend；〃　she　said；　〃carry　me　away　this　very　night。　Bear　me　to　some
place　where　no　one　can　answer：　'There　is　a　girl　with　a　golden　gaze
here；　who　has　long　hair。'　Yonder　I　will　give　thee　as　many　pleasures　as
thou　wouldst　have　of　me。　Then　when　you　love　me　no　longer；　you　shall
leave　me；　I　shall　not　complain；　I　shall　say　nothing；　and　your
desertion　need　cause　you　no　remorse；　for　one　day　passed　with　you；　only
one　day；　in　which　I　have　had　you　before　my　eyes；　will　be　worth　all　my
life　to　me。　But　if　I　stay　here；　I　am　lost。〃

〃I　cannot　leave　Paris；　little　one！〃　replied　Henri。　〃I　do　not　belong　to
myself；　I　am　bound　by　a　vow　to　the　fortune　of　several　persons　who
stand　to　me；　as　I　do　to　them。　But　I　can　place　you　in　a　refuge　in
Paris；　where　no　human　power　can　reach　you。〃

〃No；〃　she　said；　〃you　forget　the　power　of　woman。〃

Never　did　phrase　uttered　by　human　voice　express　terror　more
absolutely。

〃What　could　reach　you；　then；　if　I　put　myself　between　you　and　the
world？〃

〃Poison！〃　she　said。　〃Dona　Concha　suspects　you　already　。　。　。　and；〃　she
resumed；　letting　the　tears　fall　and　glisten　on　her　cheeks；　〃it　is　easy
enough　to　see　I　am　no　longer　the　same。　Well；　if　you　abandon　me　to　the
fury　of　the　monster　who　will　destroy　me；　your　holy　will　be　done！　But
come；　let　there　be　all　the　pleasures　of　life　in　our　love。　Besides；　I
will　implore；　I　will　weep　and　cry　out　and　defend　myself；　perhaps　I
shall　be　saved。〃

〃Whom　will　your　implore？〃　he　asked。

〃Silence！〃　said　Paquita。　〃If　I　obtain　mercy　it　will　perhaps　be　on
account　of　my　discretion。〃

〃Give　me　my　robe；〃　said　Henri；　insidiously。

〃No；　no！〃　she　answered　quickly；　〃be　what　you　are；　one　of　those　angels
whom　I　have　been　taught　to　hate；　and　in　whom