manalive-第21节

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skies　to　hold；　and　the　shallow　waters　beneath　them　seemed　golden
and　brimming　and　deep　enough　for　the　thirst　of　the　gods。
Just　round　the　corner　of　the　College；　and　visible　from　his　crazy　perch；
were　the　brightest　specks　on　that　bright　landscape；　the　villa
with　the　spotted　blinds　which　he　had　made　his　text　that　night。
He　wondered　for　the　first　time　what　people　lived　in　them。

〃Suddenly　he　called　out　with　mere　querulous　authority；
as　he　might　have　called　to　a　student　to　shut　a　door。

〃‘Let　me　come　off　this　place；'　he　cried；　‘I　can't　bear　it。'

〃‘I　rather　doubt　if　it　will　bear　you；'　said　Smith　critically；
‘but　before　you　break　your　neck；　or　I　blow　out　your　brains；
or　let　you　back　into　this　room　（on　which　complex　points　I
am　undecided）　I　want　the　metaphysical　point　cleared　up。
Do　I　understand　that　you　want　to　get　back　to　life？'

〃‘I'd　give　anything　to　get　back；'　replied　the　unhappy　professor。

〃‘Give　anything！'　cried　Smith；　‘then；　blast　your　impudence；
give　us　a　song！'

〃‘What　song　do　you　mean？'　demanded　the　exasperated　Eames；　‘what　song？'

〃‘A　hymn；　I　think；　would　be　most　appropriate；'　answered　the　other　gravely。
‘I'll　let　you　off　if　you'll　repeat　after　me　the　words

　　　　　　　　〃‘I　thank　the　goodness　and　the　grace
　　　　　　　　　　　　That　on　my　birth　have　smiled。
　　　　　　　　　　And　perched　me　on　this　curious　place；
　　　　　　　　　　　　A　happy　English　child。'


〃Dr。　Emerson　Eames　having　briefly　complied；　his　persecutor　abruptly
told　him　to　hold　his　hands　up　in　the　air。　　Vaguely　connecting　this
proceeding　with　the　usual　conduct　of　brigands　and　bushrangers；
Mr。　Eames　held　them　up；　very　stiffly；　but　without　marked　surprise。
A　bird　alighting　on　his　stone　seat　took　no　more　notice　of　him
than　of　a　comic　statue。

〃‘You　are　now　engaged　in　public　worship；'　remarked　Smith　severely；
‘and　before　I　have　done　with　you；　you　shall　thank　God　for　the　very　ducks
on　the　pond。'

〃‘The　celebrated　pessimist　half　articulately　expressed　his　perfect
readiness　to　thank　God　for　the　ducks　on　the　pond。

〃‘Not　forgetting　the　drakes；'　said　Smith　sternly。
（Eames　weakly　conceded　the　drakes。）　‘Not　forgetting　anything；　please。
You　shall　thank　heaven　for　churches　and　chapels　and　villas
and　vulgar　people　and　puddles　and　pots　and　pans　and　sticks
and　rags　and　bones　and　spotted　blinds。'

〃‘All　right；　all　right；'　repeated　the　victim　in　despair；
‘sticks　and　rags　and　bones　and　blinds。'

〃‘Spotted　blinds；　I　think　we　said；'　remarked　Smith　with　a
rogueish　ruthlessness；　and　wagging　the　pistol…barrel　at　him
like　a　long　metallic　finger。

〃‘Spotted　blinds；'　said　Emerson　Eames　faintly。

〃‘You　can't　say　fairer　than　that；'　admitted　the　younger　man；
‘and　now　I'll　just　tell　you　this　to　wind　up　with。
If　you　really　were　what　you　profess　to　be；　I　don't　see　that　it
would　matter　to　snail　or　seraph　if　you　broke　your　impious　stiff
neck　and　dashed　out　all　your　drivelling　devil…worshipping　brains。
But　in　strict　biographical　fact　you　are　a　very　nice　fellow；
addicted　to　talking　putrid　nonsense；　and　I　love　you　like　a　brother。
I　shall　therefore　fire　off　all　my　cartridges　round　your　head
so　as　not　to　hit　you　（I　am　a　good　shot；　you　may　be　glad　to　hear）；
and　then　we　will　go　in　and　have　some　breakfast。'

〃He　then　let　off　two　barrels　in　the　air；　which　the　Professor
endured　with　singular　firmness；　and　then　said；　‘But　don't　fire
them　all　off。'

〃‘Why　not'　asked　the　other　buoyantly。

〃‘Keep　them；'　asked　his　companion；　‘for　the　next　man　you　meet
who　talks　as　we　were　talking。'

〃It　was　at　this　moment　that　Smith；　looking　down；　perceived　apoplectic
terror　upon　the　face　of　the　Sub…Warden；　and　heard　the　refined　shriek
with　which　he　summoned　the　porter　and　the　ladder。

〃It　took　Dr。　Eames　some　little　time　to　disentangle　himself　from
the　ladder；and　some　little　time　longer　to　disentangle　himself
from　the　Sub…Warden。　But　as　soon　as　he　could　do　so　unobtrusively；
he　rejoined　his　companion　in　the　late　extraordinary　scene。
He　was　astonished　to　find　the　gigantic　Smith　heavily　shaken；
and　sitting　with　his　shaggy　head　on　his　hands。　　When　addressed；
he　lifted　a　very　pale　face。

〃‘Why；　what　is　the　matter？'　asked　Eames；　whose　own　nerves　had　by　this
time　twittered　themselves　quiet；　like　the　morning　birds。

〃‘I　must　ask　your　indulgence；'　said　Smith；　rather　brokenly。
‘I　must　ask　you　to　realize　that　I　have　just　had　an　escape　from　death。'

〃‘YOU　have　had　an　escape　from　death？'　repeated　the　Professor
in　not　unpardonable　irritation。　　‘Well；　of　all　the　cheek'

〃‘Oh；　don't　you　understand；　don't　you　understand？'　cried　the　pale　young
man　impatiently。　　‘I　had　to　do　it；　Eames；；　I　had　to　prove　you　wrong　or　die。
When　a　man's　young；　he　nearly　always　has　some　one　whom　he　thinks　the　top…water
mark　of　the　mind　of　mansome　one　who　knows　all　about　it；　if　anybody　knows。

〃‘Well；　you　were　that　to　me；　you　spoke　with　authority；
and　not　as　the　scribes。　　Nobody　could　comfort　me　if　YOU
said　there　was　no　comfort。　　If　you　really　thought　there　was
nothing　anywhere；　it　was　because　you　had　been　there　to　see。
Don't　you　see　that　I　HAD　to　prove　you　didn't　really　mean　it？
or　else　drown　myself　in　the　canal。'

〃‘Well；'　said　Eames　hesitatingly；　‘I　think　perhaps　you　confuse'

〃‘Oh；　don't　tell　me　that！'　cried　Smith　with　the　sudden　clairvoyance
of　mental　pain；　‘don't　tell　me　I　confuse　enjoyment　of　existence
with　the　Will　to　Live！　　That's　German；　and　German　is　High　Dutch；
and　High　Dutch　is　Double　Dutch。　　The　thing　I　saw　shining　in　your
eyes　when　you　dangled　on　that　bridge　was　enjoyment　of　life　〃the
Will　to　Live。〃　　What　you　knew　when　you　sat　on　that　damned　gargoyle
was　that　the　world；　when　all　is　said　and　done；　is　a　wonderful　and
beautiful　place；　I　know　it；　because　I　knew　it　at　the　same　minute。
I　saw　the　gray　clouds　turn　pink；　and　the　little　gilt　clock　in　the　crack
between　the　houses。　　It　was　THOSE　things　you　hated　leaving；　not　Life；
whatever　that　is。　　Eames；　we've　been　to　the　brink　of　death　together；
won't　you　admit　I'm　right？'

〃‘Yes；　said　Eames　very　slowly；　‘I　think　you　are　right。
You　shall　have　a　First！'

〃‘Right！'　cried　Smith；　springing　up　reanimated。　　‘I've　passed　with　honours；
and　now　let　me　go　and　see　about　being　sent　down。'

〃‘You　needn't　be　sent　down；'　said　Eames　with　the　quiet
confidence　of　twelve　years　of　intrigue。　　‘Everything　with　us
comes　from　the　man　on　top　to　the　people　just　round　him：
I　am　the　man　on　top；　and　I　shall　tell　the　people　round
me　the　truth。'

〃‘The　massive　Mr。　Smith　rose　and　went　firmly　to　the　window；
but　he　spoke　with　equal　firmness。　　‘I　must　be　sent　down；'
he　said；　‘and　the　people　must　not　be　told　the　truth。'

〃‘And　why　not'　asked　the　other。

〃‘Because　I　mean　to　follow　your　advice；'　answered　the　massive　youth；
‘I　mean　to　keep　the　remaining　shots　for　people　in　the　shameful　state
you　and　I　were　in　last　nightI　wish　we　could　even　plead　drunkenness。
I　mean　to　keep　those　bullets　for　pessimistspills　for　pale　people。
And　in　this　way　I　want　to　walk　the　world　like　a　wonderful　surprise
to　float　as　idly　as　the　thistledown；　and　come　as　silently　as　the　sunrise；
not　to　be　expected　any　more　than　the　thunderbolt；　not　to　be
recalled　any　more　than　the　dying　breeze。　　I　don't　want　people　to
anticipate　me　as　a　well…known　practical　joke。　　I　want　both　my　gifts
to　come　virgin　and　violent；　the　death　and　the　life　after　death。
I　am　going　to　hold　a　pistol　to　the　head　of　the　Modern　Man。　　But　I
shall　not　use　it　to　kill　himonly　to　bring　him　to　life。
I　begin　to　see　a　new　meaning　in　being　the　skeleton　at　the　feast。'

〃‘You　could　scarcely　be　called　a　skeleton；'　said　Dr。　Eames；　smiling。

〃‘That　comes　of　being　so　much　at　the　feast；'　answered　the　massive　youth。
‘No　skeleton　can　keep　his　figure　if　he　is　always　dining　out。
But　that　is　not　quite　what　I　meant：　　what　I　mean　is　that　I　caught
a　kind　of　glimpse　of　the　meaning　of　death　and　all　thatthe　skull
and　cross…bones；　the　~memento　mori~。　It　isn't　only　meant　to　remind
us　of　a　future　life；　but　to　remind　us　of　a　present　life　too。
With　our　weak　spirits　we　should　grow　old　in　eternity　if　we　were　not　kept
young　by　death。　　Providence　has　to　cut　immortality　into　lengths　for　us；
as　nurses　cut　the　bread　and　butter　into　fingers。'

〃Then　he　added　suddenly　in　a　voice　of　unnatural　actuality；
‘But　I　know　something　now；　Eames。　　I　knew　it　when　I　saw
the　clouds　turn　pink。'

〃‘What　do　you　mean？'　asked　Eames。　　‘What　did　you　know？'

〃‘I　knew　for　the　first　time　that　murder　is　really　wrong。'

〃He　gripped　Dr。　Eames's　hand　and　groped　his　way　somewhat　unsteadily
to　the　door。　　Before　he　had　vanished　through　it　he　had　added；
‘It's　very　dangerous；　though；　when　a　man　thinks　for　a　split　second
that　he　understands　death。'

〃Dr。　Eames　remained　in　repose　and　rumination　some　hours　after　his
late　assailant　had　left。　　Then　he　rose；　took　his　hat　and　umbrella；
and　went　for　a　brisk　if　rotatory　walk。　　Several　times；
however；　he　stood　outside　the　villa　with　the　spotted　blinds；
studying　them　intently　with　his　head　slightly　on　one　side。
Some　took　him　for　a　lunatic　and　some　for　an　intending　purchaser。
He　is　not　yet　sure　that　the　two　characters　would　be　widely　different。

〃The　above　narrative　has　been　constructed　on　a　principle　which　is；
in　the　opinion　of　the　undersigned　persons；　new　in　the　art　of　letters。
Each　of　the