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第17节

falk-第17节

小说: falk 字数: 每页4000字

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〃We don't know all the circumstances;〃 I ven…

tured to break the silence。  He retorted tartly that

he didn't want to know of any。  According to his

ideas no circumstances could excuse a crimeand

certainly not such a crime。  This was the opinion

generally received。  The duty of a human being

was to starve。  Falk therefore was a beast; an ani…

mal; base; low; vile; despicable; shameless; and de…

ceitful。  He had been deceiving him since last year。

He was; however; inclined to think that Falk must

have gone mad quite recently; for no sane person;

without necessity; uselessly; for no earthly reason;

and regardless of another's self…respect and peace

of mind; would own to having devoured human

flesh。  〃Why tell?〃 he cried。  〃Who was asking

him?〃  It showed Falk's brutality because after

all he had selfishly caused him (Hermann) much

pain。  He would have preferred not to know that

such an unclean creature had been in the habit of

caressing his children。  He hoped I would say noth…

ing of all this ashore; though。  He wouldn't like it

to get about that he had been intimate with an

eater of mena common cannibal。  As to the scene

he had made (which I judged quite unnecessary)

he was not going to inconvenience and restrain

himself for a fellow that went about courting and

upsetting girls' heads; while he knew all the time

that no decent housewifely girl could think of mar…

rying him。  At least he (Hermann) could not con…

ceive how any girl could。  Fancy Lena! 。 。 。  No;

it was impossible。  The thoughts that would come

into their heads every time they sat down to a meal。

Horrible!  Horrible!



〃You are too squeamish; Hermann;〃 I said。



He seemed to think it was eminently proper to be

squeamish if the word meant disgust at Falk's con…

duct; and turning up his eyes sentimentally he

drew my attention to the horrible fate of the victims

the victims of that Falk。  I said that I knew

nothing about them。  He seemed surprised。  Could

not anybody imagine without knowing?  Hefor

instancefelt he would like to avenge them。  But

what ifsaid Ithere had not been any?  They

might have died as it were; naturallyof starva…

tion。  He shuddered。  But to be eatenafter

death!  To be devoured!  He gave another deep

shudder; and asked suddenly; 〃Do you think it

is true?〃



His indignation and his personality together

would have been enough to spoil the reality of the

most authentic thing。  When I looked at him I

doubted the storybut the remembrance of Falk's

words; looks; gestures; invested it not only with

an air of reality but with the absolute truth of

primitive passion。



〃It is true just as much as you are able to make

it; and exactly in the way you like to make it。  For

my part; when I hear you clamouring about it; I

don't believe it is true at all。〃



And I left him pondering。  The men in my boat

lying at the foot of Diana's side ladder told me that

the captain of the tug had gone away in his gig

some time ago。



I let my fellows pull an easy stroke; because of

the heavy dew the clear sparkle of the stars seemed

to fall on me cold and wetting。  There was a sense

of lurking gruesome horror somewhere in my mind;

and it was mingled with clear and grotesque

images。  Schomberg's gastronomic tittle…tattle

was responsible for these; and I half hoped I

should never see Falk again。  But the first thing

my anchor…watchman told me was that the captain

of the tug was on board。  He had sent his boat

away and was now waiting for me in the cuddy。



He was lying full length on the stern settee; his

face buried in the cushions。  I had expected to see

it discomposed; contorted; despairing。  It was

nothing of the kind; it was just as I had seen it

twenty times; steady and glaring from the bridge

of the tug。  It was immovably set and hungry;

dominated like the whole man by the singleness of

one instinct。



He wanted to live。  He had always wanted to

live。  So we all dobut in us the instinct serves a

complex conception; and in him this instinct existed

alone。  There is in such simple development a gi…

gantic force; and like the pathos of a child's naive

nd uncontrolled desire。  He wanted that girl; and

the utmost that can be said for him was that he

wanted that particular girl alone。  I think I saw

then the obscure beginning; the seed germinating

in the soil of an unconscious need; the first shoot

of that tree bearing now for a mature mankind the

flower and the fruit; the infinite gradation in

shades and in flavour of our discriminating love。

He was a child。  He was as frank as a child too。

He was hungry for the girl; terribly hungry; as

he had been terribly hungry for food。



Don't be shocked if I declare that in my belief

it was the same need; the same pain; the same tor…

ture。  We are in his case allowed to contemplate

the foundation of all the emotionsthat one joy

which is to live; and the one sadness at the root of

the innumerable torments。  It was made plain by

the way he talked。  He had never suffered so。  It

was gnawing; it was fire; it was there; like this!

And after pointing below his breastbone; he made

a hard wringing motion with his hands。  And I as…

sure you that; seen as I saw it with my bodily eyes;

it was anything but laughable。  And again; as he

was presently to tell me (alluding to an early inci…

dent of the disastrous voyage when some damaged

meat had been flung overboard); he said that a

time soon came when his heart ached (that was the

expression he used); and he was ready to tear his

hair out at the thought of all that rotten beef

thrown away。



I had heard all this; I witnessed his physical

struggles; seeing the working of the rack and hear…

ing the true voice of pain。  I witnessed it all pa…

tiently; because the moment I came into the cuddy

he had called upon me to stand by himand this;

it seems; I had diplomatically promised。



His agitation was impressive and alarming in

the little cabin; like the floundering of a great

whale driven into a shallow cove in a coast。  He

stood up; he flung himself down headlong; he tried

to tear the cushion with his teeth; and again hug…

ging it fiercely to his face he let himself fall on the

couch。  The whole ship seemed to feel the shock

of his despair; and I contemplated with wonder the

lofty forehead; the noble touch of time on the un…

covered temples; the unchanged hungry character

of the faceso strangely ascetic and so incapable

of portraying emotion。



What should he do?  He had lived by being

near her。  He had satin the eveningI knew?

all his life!  She sewed。  Her head was bentso。

Her headlike thisand her arms。  Ah!  Had I

seen?  Like this。



He dropped on a stool; bowed his powerful neck

whose nape was red; and with his hands stitched

the air; ludicrous; sublimely imbecile and compre…

hensible。



And now he couldn't have her?  No!  That was

too much。  After thinking too that 。 。 。  What

had he done?  What was my advice?  Take her by

force?  No?  Mustn't he?  Who was there then

to kill him?  For the first time I saw one of his fea…

tures move; a fighting teeth…baring curl of the lip。

。 。 。  〃Not Hermann; perhaps。〃  He lost himself

in thought as though he had fallen out of the

world。



I may note that the idea of suicide apparently

did not enter his head for a single moment。  It oc…

curred to me to ask:



〃Where was it that this shipwreck of yours took

place?〃



〃Down south;〃 he said vaguely with a start。



〃You are not down south now;〃 I said。  〃Vio…

lence won't do。  They would take her away from

you in no time。  And what was the name of the

ship?〃



〃Borgmester Dahl;〃 he said。  〃It was no ship…

wreck。〃



He seemed to be waking up by degrees from that

trance; and waking up calmed。



〃Not a shipwreck?  What was it?〃



〃Break down;〃 he answered; looking more like

himself every moment。  By this only I learned that

it was a steamer。  I had till then supposed they

had been starving in boats or on a raftor per…

haps on a barren rock。



〃She did not sink then?〃 I asked in surprise。

He nodded。  〃We sighted the southern ice;〃 he

pronounced dreamily。



〃And you alone survived?〃



He sat down。  〃Yes。  It was a terrible misfor…

tune for me。  Everything went wrong。  All the

men went wrong。  I survived。〃



Remembering the things one reads of it was diffi…

cult to realise the true meaning of his answers。  I

ought to have seen at oncebut I did not; so diffi…

cult is it for our minds; remembering so much; in…

structed so much; informed of so much; to get in

touch with the real actuality at our elbow。  And

with my head full of preconceived notions as to

how a case of 〃cannibalism and suffering at sea〃

should be managed I said〃You were then so

lucky in the drawing of lots?〃



〃Drawing of lots?〃 he said。  〃What lots?  Do

you 

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