falk-第17节

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〃We　don't　know　all　the　circumstances；〃　I　ven…

tured　to　break　the　silence。　　He　retorted　tartly　that

he　didn't　want　to　know　of　any。　　According　to　his

ideas　no　circumstances　could　excuse　a　crimeand

certainly　not　such　a　crime。　　This　was　the　opinion

generally　received。　　The　duty　of　a　human　being

was　to　starve。　　Falk　therefore　was　a　beast；　an　ani…

mal；　base；　low；　vile；　despicable；　shameless；　and　de…

ceitful。　　He　had　been　deceiving　him　since　last　year。

He　was；　however；　inclined　to　think　that　Falk　must

have　gone　mad　quite　recently；　for　no　sane　person；

without　necessity；　uselessly；　for　no　earthly　reason；

and　regardless　of　another's　self…respect　and　peace

of　mind；　would　own　to　having　devoured　human

flesh。　　〃Why　tell？〃　he　cried。　　〃Who　was　asking

him？〃　　It　showed　Falk's　brutality　because　after

all　he　had　selfishly　caused　him　（Hermann）　much

pain。　　He　would　have　preferred　not　to　know　that

such　an　unclean　creature　had　been　in　the　habit　of

caressing　his　children。　　He　hoped　I　would　say　noth…

ing　of　all　this　ashore；　though。　　He　wouldn't　like　it

to　get　about　that　he　had　been　intimate　with　an

eater　of　mena　common　cannibal。　　As　to　the　scene

he　had　made　（which　I　judged　quite　unnecessary）

he　was　not　going　to　inconvenience　and　restrain

himself　for　a　fellow　that　went　about　courting　and

upsetting　girls'　heads；　while　he　knew　all　the　time

that　no　decent　housewifely　girl　could　think　of　mar…

rying　him。　　At　least　he　（Hermann）　could　not　con…

ceive　how　any　girl　could。　　Fancy　Lena！　。　。　。　　No；

it　was　impossible。　　The　thoughts　that　would　come

into　their　heads　every　time　they　sat　down　to　a　meal。

Horrible！　　Horrible！



〃You　are　too　squeamish；　Hermann；〃　I　said。



He　seemed　to　think　it　was　eminently　proper　to　be

squeamish　if　the　word　meant　disgust　at　Falk's　con…

duct；　and　turning　up　his　eyes　sentimentally　he

drew　my　attention　to　the　horrible　fate　of　the　victims

the　victims　of　that　Falk。　　I　said　that　I　knew

nothing　about　them。　　He　seemed　surprised。　　Could

not　anybody　imagine　without　knowing？　　Hefor

instancefelt　he　would　like　to　avenge　them。　　But

what　ifsaid　Ithere　had　not　been　any？　　They

might　have　died　as　it　were；　naturallyof　starva…

tion。　　He　shuddered。　　But　to　be　eatenafter

death！　　To　be　devoured！　　He　gave　another　deep

shudder；　and　asked　suddenly；　〃Do　you　think　it

is　true？〃



His　indignation　and　his　personality　together

would　have　been　enough　to　spoil　the　reality　of　the

most　authentic　thing。　　When　I　looked　at　him　I

doubted　the　storybut　the　remembrance　of　Falk's

words；　looks；　gestures；　invested　it　not　only　with

an　air　of　reality　but　with　the　absolute　truth　of

primitive　passion。



〃It　is　true　just　as　much　as　you　are　able　to　make

it；　and　exactly　in　the　way　you　like　to　make　it。　　For

my　part；　when　I　hear　you　clamouring　about　it；　I

don't　believe　it　is　true　at　all。〃



And　I　left　him　pondering。　　The　men　in　my　boat

lying　at　the　foot　of　Diana's　side　ladder　told　me　that

the　captain　of　the　tug　had　gone　away　in　his　gig

some　time　ago。



I　let　my　fellows　pull　an　easy　stroke；　because　of

the　heavy　dew　the　clear　sparkle　of　the　stars　seemed

to　fall　on　me　cold　and　wetting。　　There　was　a　sense

of　lurking　gruesome　horror　somewhere　in　my　mind；

and　it　was　mingled　with　clear　and　grotesque

images。　　Schomberg's　gastronomic　tittle…tattle

was　responsible　for　these；　and　I　half　hoped　I

should　never　see　Falk　again。　　But　the　first　thing

my　anchor…watchman　told　me　was　that　the　captain

of　the　tug　was　on　board。　　He　had　sent　his　boat

away　and　was　now　waiting　for　me　in　the　cuddy。



He　was　lying　full　length　on　the　stern　settee；　his

face　buried　in　the　cushions。　　I　had　expected　to　see

it　discomposed；　contorted；　despairing。　　It　was

nothing　of　the　kind；　it　was　just　as　I　had　seen　it

twenty　times；　steady　and　glaring　from　the　bridge

of　the　tug。　　It　was　immovably　set　and　hungry；

dominated　like　the　whole　man　by　the　singleness　of

one　instinct。



He　wanted　to　live。　　He　had　always　wanted　to

live。　　So　we　all　dobut　in　us　the　instinct　serves　a

complex　conception；　and　in　him　this　instinct　existed

alone。　　There　is　in　such　simple　development　a　gi…

gantic　force；　and　like　the　pathos　of　a　child's　naive

nd　uncontrolled　desire。　　He　wanted　that　girl；　and

the　utmost　that　can　be　said　for　him　was　that　he

wanted　that　particular　girl　alone。　　I　think　I　saw

then　the　obscure　beginning；　the　seed　germinating

in　the　soil　of　an　unconscious　need；　the　first　shoot

of　that　tree　bearing　now　for　a　mature　mankind　the

flower　and　the　fruit；　the　infinite　gradation　in

shades　and　in　flavour　of　our　discriminating　love。

He　was　a　child。　　He　was　as　frank　as　a　child　too。

He　was　hungry　for　the　girl；　terribly　hungry；　as

he　had　been　terribly　hungry　for　food。



Don't　be　shocked　if　I　declare　that　in　my　belief

it　was　the　same　need；　the　same　pain；　the　same　tor…

ture。　　We　are　in　his　case　allowed　to　contemplate

the　foundation　of　all　the　emotionsthat　one　joy

which　is　to　live；　and　the　one　sadness　at　the　root　of

the　innumerable　torments。　　It　was　made　plain　by

the　way　he　talked。　　He　had　never　suffered　so。　　It

was　gnawing；　it　was　fire；　it　was　there；　like　this！

And　after　pointing　below　his　breastbone；　he　made

a　hard　wringing　motion　with　his　hands。　　And　I　as…

sure　you　that；　seen　as　I　saw　it　with　my　bodily　eyes；

it　was　anything　but　laughable。　　And　again；　as　he

was　presently　to　tell　me　（alluding　to　an　early　inci…

dent　of　the　disastrous　voyage　when　some　damaged

meat　had　been　flung　overboard）；　he　said　that　a

time　soon　came　when　his　heart　ached　（that　was　the

expression　he　used）；　and　he　was　ready　to　tear　his

hair　out　at　the　thought　of　all　that　rotten　beef

thrown　away。



I　had　heard　all　this；　I　witnessed　his　physical

struggles；　seeing　the　working　of　the　rack　and　hear…

ing　the　true　voice　of　pain。　　I　witnessed　it　all　pa…

tiently；　because　the　moment　I　came　into　the　cuddy

he　had　called　upon　me　to　stand　by　himand　this；

it　seems；　I　had　diplomatically　promised。



His　agitation　was　impressive　and　alarming　in

the　little　cabin；　like　the　floundering　of　a　great

whale　driven　into　a　shallow　cove　in　a　coast。　　He

stood　up；　he　flung　himself　down　headlong；　he　tried

to　tear　the　cushion　with　his　teeth；　and　again　hug…

ging　it　fiercely　to　his　face　he　let　himself　fall　on　the

couch。　　The　whole　ship　seemed　to　feel　the　shock

of　his　despair；　and　I　contemplated　with　wonder　the

lofty　forehead；　the　noble　touch　of　time　on　the　un…

covered　temples；　the　unchanged　hungry　character

of　the　faceso　strangely　ascetic　and　so　incapable

of　portraying　emotion。



What　should　he　do？　　He　had　lived　by　being

near　her。　　He　had　satin　the　eveningI　knew？

all　his　life！　　She　sewed。　　Her　head　was　bentso。

Her　headlike　thisand　her　arms。　　Ah！　　Had　I

seen？　　Like　this。



He　dropped　on　a　stool；　bowed　his　powerful　neck

whose　nape　was　red；　and　with　his　hands　stitched

the　air；　ludicrous；　sublimely　imbecile　and　compre…

hensible。



And　now　he　couldn't　have　her？　　No！　　That　was

too　much。　　After　thinking　too　that　。　。　。　　What

had　he　done？　　What　was　my　advice？　　Take　her　by

force？　　No？　　Mustn't　he？　　Who　was　there　then

to　kill　him？　　For　the　first　time　I　saw　one　of　his　fea…

tures　move；　a　fighting　teeth…baring　curl　of　the　lip。

。　。　。　　〃Not　Hermann；　perhaps。〃　　He　lost　himself

in　thought　as　though　he　had　fallen　out　of　the

world。



I　may　note　that　the　idea　of　suicide　apparently

did　not　enter　his　head　for　a　single　moment。　　It　oc…

curred　to　me　to　ask：



〃Where　was　it　that　this　shipwreck　of　yours　took

place？〃



〃Down　south；〃　he　said　vaguely　with　a　start。



〃You　are　not　down　south　now；〃　I　said。　　〃Vio…

lence　won't　do。　　They　would　take　her　away　from

you　in　no　time。　　And　what　was　the　name　of　the

ship？〃



〃Borgmester　Dahl；〃　he　said。　　〃It　was　no　ship…

wreck。〃



He　seemed　to　be　waking　up　by　degrees　from　that

trance；　and　waking　up　calmed。



〃Not　a　shipwreck？　　What　was　it？〃



〃Break　down；〃　he　answered；　looking　more　like

himself　every　moment。　　By　this　only　I　learned　that

it　was　a　steamer。　　I　had　till　then　supposed　they

had　been　starving　in　boats　or　on　a　raftor　per…

haps　on　a　barren　rock。



〃She　did　not　sink　then？〃　I　asked　in　surprise。

He　nodded。　　〃We　sighted　the　southern　ice；〃　he

pronounced　dreamily。



〃And　you　alone　survived？〃



He　sat　down。　　〃Yes。　　It　was　a　terrible　misfor…

tune　for　me。　　Everything　went　wrong。　　All　the

men　went　wrong。　　I　survived。〃



Remembering　the　things　one　reads　of　it　was　diffi…

cult　to　realise　the　true　meaning　of　his　answers。　　I

ought　to　have　seen　at　oncebut　I　did　not；　so　diffi…

cult　is　it　for　our　minds；　remembering　so　much；　in…

structed　so　much；　informed　of　so　much；　to　get　in

touch　with　the　real　actuality　at　our　elbow。　　And

with　my　head　full　of　preconceived　notions　as　to

how　a　case　of　〃cannibalism　and　suffering　at　sea〃

should　be　managed　I　said〃You　were　then　so

lucky　in　the　drawing　of　lots？〃



〃Drawing　of　lots？〃　he　said。　　〃What　lots？　　Do

you