riders of the purple sage-第51节

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〃Yesthe　truth。　Bess；　don't　misunderstand。　I　haven't　changed　that　way。　I　love　you　still。　I'll　love　you　more　afterward。　Life　will　be　just　as　sweetsweeter　to　us。　We'll　bebe　married　as　soon　as　ever　we　can。　We'll　be　happybut　there's　a　devil　in　me。　A　perverse；　jealous　devil！　Then　I've　queer　fancies。　I　forgot　for　a　long　time。　Now　all　those　fiendish　little　whispers　of　doubt　and　faith　and　fear　and　hope　come　torturing　me　again。　I've　got　to　kill　them　with　the　truth。〃

〃I'll　tell　you　anything　you　want　to　know；〃　she　replied；　frankly。

〃Then　by　Heaven！　we'll　have　it　over　and　done　with！。。。Bessdid　Oldring　love　you？〃

〃Certainly　he　did。〃

〃Diddid　you　love　him？〃

〃Of　course。　I　told　you　so。〃

〃How　can　you　tell　it　so　lightly？〃　cried　Venters；　passionately。　〃Haven't　you　any　sense　ofof〃　He　choked　back　speech。　He　felt　the　rush　of　pain　and　passion。　He　seized　her　in　rude；　strong　hands　and　drew　her　close。　He　looked　straight　into　her　dark…blue　eyes。　They　were　shadowing　with　the　old　wistful　light；　hut　they　were　as　clear　as　the　limpid　water　of　the　spring。　They　were　earnest；　solemn　in　unutterable　love　and　faith　and　abnegation。　Venters　shivered。　He　knew　he　was　looking　into　her　soul。　He　knew　she　could　not　lie　in　that　moment；　but　that　she　might　tell　the　truth；　looking　at　him　with　those　eyes；　almost　killed　his　belief　in　purity。

〃What　arewhat　were　you　toto　Oldring？〃　he　panted；　fiercely。

〃I　am　his　daughter；〃　she　replied；　instantly。

Venters　slowly　let　go　of　her。　There　was　a　violent　break　in　the　force　of　his　feelingthen　creeping　blankness。

〃Whatwas　ityou　said？〃　he　asked；　in　a　kind　of　dull　wonder。

〃I　am　his　daughter。〃

〃Oldring's　daughter？〃　queried　Venters；　with　life　gathering　in　his　voice。

〃Yes。〃

With　a　passionately　awakening　start　he　grasped　her　hands　and　drew　her　close。

〃All　the　timeyou've　been　Oldring's　daughter？〃

〃Yes；　of　course　all　the　timealways。〃

〃But　Bess；　you　told　meyou　let　me　thinkI　made　out　you　wereasoso　ashamed。〃

〃It　is　my　shame；〃　she　said；　with　voice　deep　and　full；　and　now　the　scarlet　fired　her　cheek。　〃I　told　youI'm　nothingnamelessjust　Bess；　Oldring's　girl！〃

〃I　knowI　remember。　But　I　never　thought〃　he　went　on；　hurriedly；　huskily。　〃That　timewhen　you　lay　dyingyou　prayedyousomehow　I　got　the　idea　you　were　bad。〃

〃Bad？〃　she　asked；　with　a　little　laugh。

She　looked　up　with　a　faint　smile　of　bewilderment　and　the　absolute　unconsciousness　of　a　child。　Venters　gasped　in　the　gathering　might　of　the　truth。　She　did　not　understand　his　meaning。

〃Bess！　Bess！〃　He　clasped　her　in　his　arms；　hiding　her　eyes　against　his　breast。　She　must　not　see　his　face　in　that　moment。　And　he　held　her　while　he　looked　out　across　the　valley。　In　his　dim　and　blinded　sight；　in　the　blur　of　golden　light　and　moving　mist；　he　saw　Oldring。　She　was　the　rustler's　nameless　daughter。　Oldring　had　loved　her。　He　had　so　guarded　her；　so　kept　her　from　women　and　men　and　knowledge　of　life　that　her　mind　was　as　a　child's。　That　was　part　of　the　secretpart　of　the　mystery。　That　was　the　wonderful　truth。　Not　only　was　she　not　bad；　but　good；　pure；　innocent　above　all　innocence　in　the　worldthe　innocence　of　lonely　girlhood。

He　saw　Oldring's　magnificent　eyes；　inquisitive；　searching；　softening。　He　saw　them　flare　in　amaze；　in　gladness；　with　love；　then　suddenly　strain　in　terrible　effort　of　will。　He　heard　Oldring　whisper　and　saw　him　sway　like　a　log　and　fall。　Then　a　million　bellowing；　thundering　voicesgunshots　of　conscience；　thunderbolts　of　remorsedinned　horribly　in　his　ears。　He　had　killed　Bess's　father。　Then　a　rushing　wind　filled　his　ears　like　a　moan　of　wind　in　the　cliffs；　a　knell　indeedOldring's　knell。

He　dropped　to　his　knees　and　hid　his　face　against　Bess；　and　grasped　her　with　the　hands　of　a　drowning　man。

〃My　God！。。。My　God！。。。Oh；　Bess！。。。Forgive　me！　Never　mind　what　I've　donewhat　I've　thought。　But　forgive　me。　I'll　give　you　my　life。　I'll　live　for　you。　I'll　love　you。　Oh；　I　do　love　you　as　no　man　ever　loved　a　woman。　I　want　you　to　knowto　remember　that　I　fought　a　fight　for　youhowever　blind　I　was。　I　thoughtI　thoughtnever　mind　what　I　thoughtbut　I　loved　youI　asked　you　to　marry　me。　Let　thatlet　me　have　that　to　hug　to　my　heart。　Oh；　Bess；　I　was　driven！　And　I　might　have　known！　I　could　not　rest　nor　sleep　till　I　had　this　mystery　solved。　God！　how　things　work　out！〃

〃Bern；　you're　weaktremblingyou　talk　wildly；〃　cried　Bess。　〃You've　overdone　your　strength。　There's　nothing　to　forgive。　There's　no　mystery　except　your　love　for　me。　You　have　come　back　to　me！〃

And　she　clasped　his　head　tenderly　in　her　arms　and　pressed　it　closely　to　her　throbbing　breast。



CHAPTER　XIX。　FAY

At　the　home　of　Jane　Withersteen　Little　Fay　was　climbing　Lassiter's　knee。

〃Does　oo　love　me？〃　she　asked。

Lassiter；　who　was　as　serious　with　Fay　as　he　was　gentle　and　loving；　assured　her　in　earnest　and　elaborate　speech　that　he　was　her　devoted　subject。　Fay　looked　thoughtful　and　appeared　to　be　debating　the　duplicity　of　men　or　searching　for　a　supreme　test　to　prove　this　cavalier。

〃Does　oo　love　my　new　mower？〃　she　asked；　with　bewildering　suddenness。

Jane　Withersteen　laughed；　and　for　the　first　time　in　many　a　day　she　felt　a　stir　of　her　pulse　and　warmth　in　her　cheek。

It　was　a　still　drowsy　summer　of　afternoon；　and　the　three　were　sitting　in　the　shade　of　the　wooded　knoll　that　faced　the　sage…slope　Little　Fay's　brief　spell　of　unhappy　longing　for　her　motherthe　childish；　mystic　gloomhad　passed；　and　now　where　Fay　was　there　were　prattle　and　laughter　and　glee。　She　had　emerged　Iron　sorrow　to　be　the　incarnation　of　joy　and　loveliness。　She　had　growl　supernaturally　sweet　and　beautiful。　For　Jane　Withersteen　the　child　was　an　answer　to　prayer；　a　blessing；　a　possession　infinitely　more　precious　than　all　she　had　lost。　For　Lassiter；　Jane　divined　that　little　Fay　had　become　a　religion。

〃Does　oo　love　my　new　mower？〃　repeated　Fay。

Lassiter's　answer　to　this　was　a　modest　and　sincere　affirmative。

〃Why　don't　oo　marry　my　new　mower　an'　be　my　favver？〃

Of　the　thousands　of　questions　put　by　little　Fay　to　Lassiter　the　was　the　first　he　had　been　unable　to　answer。

〃FayFay；　don't　ask　questions　like　that；〃　said　Jane。

〃Why？〃

〃Because；〃　replied　Jane。　And　she　found　it　strangely　embarrassing　to　meet　the　child's　gaze。　It　seemed　to　her　that　Fay's　violet　eyes　looked　through　her　with　piercing　wisdom。

〃Oo　love　him；　don't　oo？〃

〃Dear　childrun　and　play；〃　said　Jane；　〃but　don't　go　too　far。　Don't　go　from　this　little　hill。〃

Fay　pranced　off　wildly；　joyous　over　freedom　that　had　not　been　granted　her　for　weeks。

〃Jane；　why　are　children　more　sincere　than　grown…up　persons？〃　asked　Lassiter。

〃Are　they？〃

〃I　reckon　so。　Little　Fay　thereshe　sees　things　as　they　appear　on　the　face。　An　Indian　does　that。　So　does　a　dog。　An'　an　Indian　an'　a　dog　are　most　of　the　time　right　in　what　they　see。　Mebbe　a　child　is　always　right。〃

〃Well；　what　does　Fay　see？〃　asked　Jane。

〃I　reckon　you　know。　I　wonder　what　goes　on　in　Fay's　mind　when　she　sees　part　of　the　truth　with　the　wise　eyes　of　a　child；　an'　wantin'　to　know　more；　meets　with　strange　falseness　from　you？　Wait！　You　are　false　in　a　way；　though　you're　the　best　woman　I　ever　knew。　What　I　want　to　say　is　this。　Fay　has　taken　you're　pretendin'　toto　care　for　me　for　the　thing　it　looks　on　the　face。　An'　her　little　formin'　mind　asks　questions。　An'　the　answers　she　gets　are　different　from　the　looks　of　things。　So　she'll　grow　up　gradually　takin'　on　that　falseness；　an'　be　like　the　rest　of　the　women；　an'　men；　too。　An'　the　truth　of　this　falseness　to　life　is　proved　by　your　appearin'　to　love　me　when　you　don't。　Things　aren't　what　they　seem。〃

〃Lassiter；　you're　right。　A　child　should　be　told　the　absolute　truth。　Butis　that　possible？　I　haven't　been　able　to　do　it；　and　all　my　life　I've　loved　the　truth；　and　I've　prided　myself　upon　being　truthful。　Maybe　that　was　only　egotism。　I'm　learning　much；　my　friend。　Some　of　those　blinding　scales　have　fallen　from　my　eyes。　Andand　as　to　caring　for　you；　I　think　I　care　a　great　deal。　How　much；　how　little；　I　couldn't　say。　My　heart　is　almost　broken。　Lassiter。　So　now　is　not　a　good　time　to　judge　of　affection。　I　can　still　play　and　be　merry　with　Fay。　I　can　still　dream。　But　when　I　attempt　serious　thought　I'm　dazed。　I　don't　think。　I　don't　care　any　more。　I　don't　pray！。。。Think　of　that；　my　friend！　But　in　spite　of　my　numb　feeling　I　believe　I'll　rise　out　of　all　this　dark　agony　a　better　woman；　with　greater　love　of　man　and　God。　I'm　on　the　rack　now；　I'm　senseless　to　all　but　pain；　and　growing　dead　to　that。　Sooner　or　later　I　shall　rise　out　of　this　stupor。　I'm　waiting　the　hour。〃

〃It'll　soon　come；　Jane；〃　replied　Lassiter；　soberly。　〃Then　I'm　afraid　for　you。　Years　are　terrible　things；　an'　for　years　you've　been　bound。　Habit　of　years　is　strong　as　life　itself。　Somehow；　though；　I　believe　as　youthat　you'll　come　out　of　it　all　a　finer　woman。　I'm　waitin'；　too。　An'　I'm　wonderin'I　reckon；　Jane；　that　marriage　between　us　is　out　of　all　human　reason？〃

〃Lassiter！。。。My　dear　friend！。。。It's　impossible　for　us　to　marry！〃

〃Whyas　Fay　says？〃　inquired　Lassiter；　with　gentle　persistence。

〃Why！　I　never　thought　why。　But　it's　not　possible。　I　am　Jane；　daughter　of　Withersteen。　My　father　would　rise　out　of　his　grave。　I'm　of　Mormon　birth。　I'm　being　broken。　But　I'm　still　a　Mormon　woman。　And　youyou　are　Lassiter！〃

〃Mebbe　I'm　not　so　much　Lassiter　as　I　used　to　be。〃