the marriage contract-第27节

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　　her　desires。　I　can　reveal　these　secrets　to　you　now；　for　when　you

　　hold　this　paper；　heavy　with　love；　I　shall　be　far　away。　Though　I

　　lose　the　treasures　of　your　gratitude；　I　do　not　suffer　that

　　contraction　of　the　heart　which　would　disable　me　if　I　spoke　to　you

　　of　these　matters。　Besides；　my　own　beloved；　is　there　not　a　tender

　　calculation　in　thus　revealing　to　you　the　history　of　the　past？　Does

　　it　not　extend　our　love　into　the　future？But　we　need　no　such

　　supports！　We　love　each　other　with　a　love　to　which　proof　is

　　needless；a　love　which　takes　no　note　of　time　or　distance；　but

　　lives　of　itself　alone。



　　Ah！　Natalie；　I　have　just　looked　at　you　asleep；　trustful；　restful

　　as　a　little　child；　your　hand　stretched　toward　me。　I　left　a　tear

　　upon　the　pillow　which　has　known　our　precious　joys。　I　leave　you

　　without　fear；　on　the　faith　of　that　attitude；　I　go　to　win　the

　　future　of　our　love　by　bringing　home　to　you　a　fortune　large　enough

　　to　gratify　your　every　taste；　and　let　no　shadow　of　anxiety　disturb

　　our　joys。　Neither　you　nor　I　can　do　without　enjoyments　in　the　life

　　we　live。　To　me　belongs　the　task　of　providing　the　necessary

　　fortune。　I　am　a　man；　and　I　have　courage。



　　Perhaps　you　might　seek　to　follow　me。　For　that　reason　I　conceal

　　from　you　the　name　of　the　vessel；　the　port　from　which　I　sail；　and

　　the　day　of　sailing。　After　I　am　gone；　when　too　late　to　follow　me；　a

　　friend　will　tell　you　all。



　　Natalie！　my　affection　is　boundless。　I　love　you　as　a　mother　loves

　　her　child；　as　a　lover　loves　his　mistress；　with　absolute

　　unselfishness。　To　me　the　toil；　to　you　the　pleasures；　to　me　all

　　sufferings；　to　you　all　happiness。　Amuse　yourself；　continue　your

　　habits　of　luxury；　go　to　theatres　and　operas；　enjoy　society　and

　　balls；　I　leave　you　free　for　all　things。　Dear　angel；　when　you

　　return　to　this　nest　where　for　five　years　we　have　tasted　the　fruits

　　which　love　has　ripened　think　of　your　friend；　think　for　a　moment　of

　　me；　and　rest　upon　my　heart。



　　That　is　all　I　ask　of　you。　For　myself；　dear　eternal　thought　of

　　mine！　whether　under　burning　skies；　toiling　for　both　of　us；　I　face

　　obstacles　to　vanquish；　or　whether；　weary　with　the　struggle；　I　rest

　　my　mind　on　hopes　of　a　return；　I　shall　think　of　you　alone；　of　you

　　who　are　my　life；my　blessed　life！　Yes；　I　shall　live　in　you。　I

　　shall　tell　myself　daily　that　you　have　no　troubles；　no　cares；　that

　　you　are　happy。　As　in　our　natural　lives　of　day　and　night；　of

　　sleeping　and　waking；　I　shall　have　sunny　days　in　Paris；　and　nights

　　of　toil　in　India；a　painful　dream；　a　joyful　reality；　and　I　shall

　　live　so　utterly　in　that　reality　that　my　actual　life　will　pass　as　a

　　dream。　I　shall　have　memories！　I　shall　recall；　line　by　line；

　　strophe　by　strophe；　our　glorious　five　years'　poem。　I　shall

　　remember　the　days　of　your　pleasure　in　some　new　dress　or　some

　　adornment　which　made　you　to　my　eyes　a　fresh　delight。　Yes；　dear

　　angel；　I　go　like　a　man　vowed　to　some　great　emprize；　the　guerdon　of

　　which；　if　success　attend　him；　is　the　recovery　of　his　beautiful

　　mistress。　Oh！　my　precious　love；　my　Natalie；　keep　me　as　a　religion

　　in　your　heart。　Be　the　child　that　I　have　just　seen　asleep！　If　you

　　betray　my　confidence；　my　blind　confidence；　you　need　not　fear　my

　　angerbe　sure　of　that；　I　should　die　silently。　But　a　wife　does　not

　　deceive　the　man　who　leaves　her　freefor　woman　is　never　base。　She

　　tricks　a　tyrant；　but　an　easy　treachery；　which　would　kill　its

　　victim；　she　will　not　commitNo；　no！　I　will　not　think　of　it。

　　Forgive　this　cry；　this　single　cry；　so　natural　to　the　heart　of　man！



　　Dear　love；　you　will　see　de　Marsay；　he　is　now　the　lessee　of　our

　　house；　and　he　will　leave　you　in　possession　of　it。　This　nominal

　　lease　was　necessary　to　avoid　a　useless　loss。　Our　creditors；

　　ignorant　that　their　payment　is　a　question　of　time　only；　would

　　otherwise　have　seized　the　furniture　and　the　temporary　possession

　　of　the　house。　Be　kind　to　de　Marsay；　I　have　the　most　entire

　　confidence　in　his　capacity　and　his　loyalty。　Take　him　as　your

　　defender　and　adviser；　make　him　your　slave。　However　occupied；　he

　　will　always　find　time　to　be　devoted　to　you。　I　have　placed　the

　　liquidation　of　my　affairs　and　the　payment　of　the　debts　in　his

　　hands。　If　he　should　advance　some　sum　of　which　he　should　later　feel

　　in　need　I　rely　on　you　to　pay　it　back。　Remember；　however；　that　I　do

　　not　leave　you　to　de　Marsay；　but　TO　YOURSELF；　I　do　not　seek　to

　　impose　him　upon　you。



　　Alas！　I　have　but　an　hour　more　to　stay　beside　you；　I　cannot　spend

　　that　hour　in　writing　businessI　count　your　breaths；　I　try　to

　　guess　your　thoughts　in　the　slight　motions　of　your　sleep。　I　would　I

　　could　infuse　my　blood　into　your　veins　that　you　might　be　a　part　of

　　me；　my　thought　your　thought；　and　your　heart　mineA　murmur　has

　　just　escaped　your　lips　as　though　it　were　a　soft　reply。　Be　calm　and

　　beautiful　forever　as　you　are　now！　Ah！　would　that　I　possessed　that

　　fabulous　fairy　power　which；　with　a　wand；　could　make　you　sleep

　　while　I　am　absent；　until；　returning；　I　should　wake　you　with　a

　　kiss。



　　How　much　I　must　love　you；　how　much　energy　of　soul　I　must　possess；

　　to　leave　you　as　I　see　you　now！　Adieu；　my　cherished　one。　Your　poor

　　Pink　of　Fashion　is　blown　away　by　stormy　winds；　butthe　wings　of

　　his　good　luck　shall　waft　him　back　to　you。　No；　my　Ninie；　I　am　not

　　bidding　you　farewell；　for　I　shall　never　leave　you。　Are　you　not　the

　　soul　of　my　actions？　Is　not　the　hope　of　returning　with　happiness

　　indestructible　for　YOU　the　end　and　aim　of　my　endeavor？　Does　it　not

　　lead　my　every　step？　You　will　be　with　me　everywhere。　Ah！　it　will

　　not　be　the　sun　of　India；　but　the　fire　of　your　eyes　that　lights　my

　　way。　Therefore　be　happyas　happy　as　a　woman　can　be　without　her

　　lover。　I　would　the　last　kiss　that　I　take　from　those　dear　lips　were

　　not　a　passive　one；　but；　my　Ninie；　my　adored　one；　I　will　not　wake

　　you。　When　you　wake；　you　will　find　a　tear　upon　your　foreheadmake

　　it　a　talisman！　Think；　think　of　him　who　may；　perhaps；　die　for　you；

　　far　from　you；　think　less　of　the　husband　than　of　the　lover　who

　　confides　you　to　God。





　　From　the　Comtesse　de　Manerville　to　her　husband：



　　Dear；　beloved　one；Your　letter　has　plunged　me　into　affliction。

　　Had　you　the　right　to　take　this　course；　which　must　affect　us

　　equally；　without　consulting　me？　Are　you　free？　Do　you　not　belong　to

　　me？　If　you　must　go；　why　should　I　not　follow　you？　You　show　me；

　　Paul；　that　I　am　not　indispensable　to　you。　What　have　I　done；　to　be

　　deprived　of　my　rights？　Surely　I　count　for　something　in　this　ruin。

　　My　luxuries　have　weighed　somewhat　in　the　scale。　You　make　me　curse

　　the　happy；　careless　life　we　have　led　for　the　last　five　years。　To

　　know　that　you　are　banished　from　France　for　years　is　enough　to　kill

　　me。　How　soon　can　a　fortune　be　made　in　India？　Will　you　ever　return？



　　I　was　right　when　I　refused；　with　instinctive　obstinacy；　that

　　separation　as　to　property　which　my　mother　and　you　were　so

　　determined　to　carry　out。　What　did　I　tell　you　then？　Did　I　not　warn

　　you　that　it　was　casting　a　reflection　upon　you；　and　would　ruin　your

　　credit？　It　was　not　until　you　were　really　angry　that　I　gave　way。



　　My　dear　Paul；　never　have　you　been　so　noble　in　my　eyes　as　you　are

　　at　this　moment。　To　despair　of　nothing；　to　start　courageously　to

　　seek　a　fortune！　Only　your　character；　your　strength　of　mind　could

　　do　it。　I　sit　at　your　feet。　A　man　who　avows　his　weakness　with　your

　　good　faith；　who　rebuilds　his　fortune　from　the　same　motive　that

　　made　him　wreck　it；　for　love's　sake；　for　the　sake　of　an

　　irresistible　passion；　oh；　Paul；　that　man　is　sublime！　Therefore；

　　fear　nothing；　go　on；　through　all　obstacles；　not　doubting　your

　　Nataliefor　that　would　be　doubting　yourself。　Poor　darling；　you

　　mean　to　live　in　me？　And　I　shall　ever　be　in　you。　I　shall　not　be

　　here；　I　shall　be　wherever　you　are；　wherever　you　go。



　　Though　your　letter　has　caused　me　the　keenest　pain；　it　has　also

　　filled　me　with　joyyou　have　made　me　know　those　two　extremes！

　　Seeing　how　you　love　me；　I　have　been　proud　to　learn　that　my　love　is

　　truly　felt。　Sometimes　I　have　thought　that　I　loved　you　more　than

　　you　loved　me。　Now；　I　admit　myself　vanquished；　you　have　added　the

　　delightful　superiorityof　lovingto　all　the　others　with　which

　　you　are　blest。　That　precious　letter　in　which　your　soul　reveals

　　itself　will　lie　upon　my　heart　during　all　your　absence；　for　my

　　soul；　too；　is　in　it；　that　letter　is　my　glory。



　　I　shall　go　to　live　at　Lanstrac　with　my　mother。　I　die　to　the　world；

　　I　will　economize　my　income　and　pay　your　debts　to　their　last

　　farthing。　From　this　day　forth；　Paul；　I　am　another　woman。　I　bid

　　farewell　forever　to　society；　I　will　have　no　pleasures　that　you

　　cannot　share。　Besides；　Paul；　I　ought　to　leave　Paris　and　live　in

　　retirement。　Dear　friend；　you　will　soon　have　a　noble　reason　to　make

　　your　fortune。　If　your　courage　needed　a　spur　you　would　find　it　in

　　this。　Cannot　you　guess？　We　shall