lectures11-13-第17节
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till it should please God to show her what she ought to do and
whither to go。 She asked always earnestly; 'When shall I be
perfectly thine; O my God?' And she thought he still answered
her; When thou shalt no longer possess anything; and shalt die to
thyself。 'And where shall I do that; Lord?' He answered her; In
the desert。 This made so strong an impression on her soul that
she aspired after this; but being a maid of eighteen years only;
she was afraid of unlucky chances; and was never used to travel;
and knew no way。 She laid aside all these doubts and said;
'Lord; thou wilt guide me how and where it shall please thee。 It
is for thee that I do it。 I will lay aside my habit of a maid;
and will take that of a hermit that I may pass unknown。' Having
then secretly made ready this habit; while her parents thought to
have married her; her father having promised her to a rich French
merchant; she prevented the time; and on Easter evening; having
cut her hair; put on the habit; and slept a little; she went out
of her chamber about four in the morning; taking nothing but one
penny to buy bread for that day。 And it being said to her in
going out; Where is thy faith? in a penny? she threw it away;
begging pardon of God for her fault; and saying; 'No; Lord; my
faith is not in a penny; but in thee alone。' Thus she went away
wholly delivered from the heavy burthen of the cares and good
things of this world; and found her soul so satisfied that she no
longer wished for anything upon earth; resting entirely upon God;
with this only fear lest she should be discovered and be obliged
to return home; for she felt already more content in this poverty
than she had done for all her life in all the delights of the
world。〃'196'
'196' An Apology for M。 Antonia Bourignon; London; 1699; pp。 269;
270; abridged。
Another example from Starbuck's MS。 collection:
〃At a meeting held at six the next morning; I heard a man relate
his experience。 He said: The Lord asked him if he would
confess Christ among the quarrymen with whom he worked; and he
said he would。 Then he asked him if he would give up to be used
of the Lord the four hundred dollars he had laid up; and he said
he would and thus the Lord saved him。 The thought came to me at
once that I had never made a real consecration either of myself
or of my property to the Lord; but had always tried to serve the
Lord in my way。 Now the Lord asked me if I would serve him in
HIS way; and go out alone and penniless if he so ordered。 The
question was pressed home; and I must decide: To forsake all and
have him; or have all and lose him! I soon decided to take him;
and the blessed assurance came; that he had taken me for his own;
and my joy was full。 I returned home from the meeting with
feelings as simple as a child。 I thought all would be glad to
hear of the joy of the Lord that possessed me; and so I began to
tell the simple story。 But to my great surprise; the pastors
(for I attended meetings in three churches) opposed the
experience and said it was fanaticism; and one told the members
of his church to shun those that professed it; and I soon found
that my foes were those of my own household。〃
The penny was a small financial safeguard; but an effective
spiritual obstacle。 Not till it was thrown away could the
character settle into the new equilibrium completely。
Over and above the mystery of self…surrender; there are in the
cult of poverty other religious mysteries。 There is the mystery
of veracity: 〃Naked came I into the world;〃 etc。 whoever first
said that; possessed this mystery。 My own bare entity must fight
the battleshams cannot save me。 There is also the mystery of
democracy; or sentiment of the equality before God of all his
creatures。 This sentiment (which seems in general to have been
more widespread in Mohammedan than in Christian lands) tends to
nullify man's usual acquisitiveness。 Those who have it spurn
dignities and honors; privileges and advantages; preferring; as I
said in a former lecture; to grovel on the common level before
the face of God。 It is not exactly the sentiment of humility;
though it comes so close to it in practice。 It is HUMANITY;
rather; refusing to enjoy anything that others do not share。 A
profound moralist; writing of Christ's saying; 〃Sell all thou
hast and follow me;〃 proceeds as follows:
〃Christ may have meant: If you love mankind absolutely you will
as a result not care for any possessions whatever; and this seems
a very likely proposition。 But it is one thing to believe that a
proposition is probably true; it is another thing to see it as a
fact。 If you loved mankind as Christ loved them; you would see
his conclusion as a fact。 It would be obvious。 You would sell
your goods; and they would be no loss to you。 These truths;
while literal to Christ; and to any mind that has Christ's love
for mankind; become parables to lesser natures。 There are in
every generation people who; beginning innocently; with no
predetermined intention of becoming saints; find themselves drawn
into the vortex by their interest in helping mankind; and by the
understanding that comes from actually doing it。 The abandonment
of their old mode of life is like dust in the balance。 It is
done gradually; incidentally; imperceptibly。 Thus the whole
question of the abandonment of luxury is no question at all; but
a mere incident to another question; namely; the degree to which
we abandon ourselves to the remorseless logic of our love for
others。〃'197'
'197' J。 J。 Chapman; in the Political Nursery; vol。 iv。 p。 4;
April; 1900; abridged。
But in all these matters of sentiment one must have 〃been there〃
one's self in order to understand them。 No American can ever
attain to understanding the loyalty of a Briton towards his king;
of a German towards his emperor; nor can a Briton or German ever
understand the peace of heart of an American in having no king;
no Kaiser; no spurious nonsense; between him and the common God
of all。 If sentiments as simple as these are mysteries which one
must receive as gifts of birth; how much more is this the case
with those subtler religious sentiments which we have been
considering! One can never fathom an emotion or divine its
dictates by standing outside of it。 In the glowing hour of
excitement; however; all incomprehensibilities are solved; and
what was so enigmatical from without becomes transparently
obvious。 Each emotion obeys a logic of its own; and makes
deductions which no other logic can draw。 Piety and charity live
in a different universe from worldly lusts and fears; and form
another centre of energy altogether。 As in a supreme sorrow
lesser vexations may become a consolation; as a supreme love may
turn minor sacrifices into gain; so a supreme trust may render
common safeguards odious; and in certain glows of generous
excitement it may appear unspeakably mean to retain one's hold of
personal possessions。 The only sound plan; if we are ourselves
outside the pale of such emotions; is to observe as well as we
are able those who feel them; and to record faithfully what we
observe; and this; I need hardly say; is what I have striven to
do in these last two descriptive lectures; which I now hope will
have covered the ground sufficiently for our present needs。