the turmoil-第57节

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the　first　time　a　resemblance　to　his　father。



She　watched　them。　　In　the　middle　of　the　street　Bibbs　had　to　step　ahead　of　his

father；　and　the　two　were　separated。　　But　the　reckless　passing　of　a　truck；

beyond　the　second　line　of　rails；　frightened　a　group　of　country　women　who　were

in　course　of　passage；　they　were　just　in　front　of　Bibbs；　and　shoved　backward

upon　him　violently。　　To　extricate　himself　from　them　he　stepped　back；　directly

in　front　of　a　moving　trolley…carno　place　for　absent…mindedness；　but　Bibbs

was　still　absorbed　in　thoughts　concerned　with　what　he　had　been　saying　to　his

father。　　There　were　shrieks　and　yells；　Bibbs　looked　the　wrong　wayand　then

Mary　saw　the　heavy　figure　of　Sheridan　plunge　straight　forward　in　front　of　the

car。　　With　absolute　disregard　of　his　own　life；　he　hurled　himself　at　Bibbs　like

a　football…player　shunting　off　an　opponent；　and　to　Mary　it　seemed　that　they

both　went　down　together。　　But　that　was　all　she　could　seeautomobiles；　trucks；

and　wagons　closed　in　between。　　She　made　out　that　the　trolley…car　stopped

jerkily；　and　she　saw　a　policeman　breaking　his　way　through　the　instantly

condensing　crowd；　while　the　traffic　came　to　a　standstill；　and　people　stood　up

in　automobiles　or　climbed　upon　the　hubs　and　tires　of　wheels；　not　to　miss　a

chance　of　seeing　anything　horrible。



Mary　tried　to　get　through；　it　was　impossible。　　Other　policemen　came　to　help

the　first；　and　in　a　minute　or　two　the　traffic　was　in　motion　again。　The　crowd

became　pliant；　dispersingthere　was　no　figure　upon　the　ground；　and　no

ambulance　came。　　But　one　of　the　policemen　was　detained　by　the　clinging　and

beseeching　of　a　gloved　hand。



〃What　IS　the　matter；　lady？〃



〃Where　are　they？〃　Mary　cried。



〃Who？　Ole　man　Sheridan？　　I　reckon　HE　wasn't　much　hurt！〃



〃His　SON〃



〃Was　that　who　the　other　one　was？　　I　seen　him　knock　himoh；　he's　not　bad　off；

I　guess；　lady。　　The　ole　man　got　him　out　of　the　way　all　right。　　The　fender

shoved　the　ole　man　around　some；　but　I　reckon　he　only　got　shook　up。　They　both

went　on　in　the　Sheridan　Building　without　any　help。　　Excuse　me；　lady。〃



Sheridan　and　Bibbs；　in　fact；　were　at　that　moment　in　the　elevator；　ascending。

〃Whisk…broom　up　in　the　office；〃　Sheridan　was　saying。　　〃You　got　to　look　out　on

those　corners　nowadays；　I　tell　you。　　I　don't　know　I　got　any　call　to　blow；

thoughbecause　I　tried　to　cross　after　you　did。　　That's　how　I　happened　to　run

into　you。　　Well；　you　want　remember　to　look　out　after　this。　　We　were　talkin'

about　Murtrie's　askin'　sixty…eight　thousand　flat　for　that　ninety…nine…year

lease。　　It's　his　lookout　if　he'd　rather　take　it　that　way；　and　I　don't　know

but〃



〃No；〃　said　Bibbs；　emphatically；　as　the　elevator　stopped；　〃he　won't　get　it。　Not

from　Us；　he　won't；　and　I'll　show　you　why。　　I　can　convince　you　in　five

minutes。〃　　He　followed　his　father　into　the　office　anteroomand　convinced　him。

Then；　having　been　diligently　brushed　by　a　youth　of　color；　Bibbs　went　into　his

own　room　and　closed　the　door。



He　was　more　shaken　than　he　had　allowed　his　father　to　perceive；　and　his　side

was　sore　where　Sheridan　had　struck　him。　　He　desired　to　be　alone；　he　wanted　to

rub　himself　and；　for　once；　to　do　some　useless　thinking　again。　He　knew　that　his

father　had　not　〃happened〃　to　run　into　him；　he　knew　that　Sheridan　had

instantlyand　instinctivelyproved　that　he　held　his　own　life　of　no　account

whatever　compared　to　that　of　his　son　and　heir。　　Bibbs　had　been　unable　to　speak

of　that；　or　to　seem　to　know　it；　for　Sheridan；　just　as　instinctively；　had　swept

the　matter　asideas　of　no　importance；　since　all　was　wellreverting

immediately　to　business。



Bibbs　began　to　think　intently　of　his　father。　　He　perceived；　as　he　had　never

perceived　before；　the　shadowing　of　something　enormous　and　indomitableand

lawless；　not　to　be　daunted　by　the　will　of　nature's　very　self；　laughing　at　the

lightning　and　at　wounds　and　mutilation；　conquering；　irresistibleand　blindly

noble。　　For　the　first　time　in　his　life　Bibbs　began　to　understand　the　meaning

of　being　truly　this　man's　son。



He　would　be　the　more　truly　his　son　henceforth；　though；　as　Sheridan　said；　Bibbs

had　not　come　down…town　with　him　meanly　or　half…heartedly。　　He　had　given　his

word　because　he　had　wanted　the　money；　simply；　for　Mary　Vertrees　in　her　need。

And　he　shivered　with　horror　of　himself；　thinking　how　he　had　gone　to　her　to

offer　it；　asking　her　to　marry　himwith　his　head　on　his　breast　in　shameful

fear　that　she　would　accept　him！　　He　had　not　known　her；　the　knowing　had　lost

her　to　him；　and　this　had　been　his　real　awakening；　for　he　knew　now　how　deep　had

been　that　slumber　wherein　he　dreamily　celebrated　the　superiority　of

〃friendship〃！　　The　sleep…walker　had　wakened　to　bitter　knowledge　of　love　and

life；　finding　himself　a　failure　in　both。　　He　had　made　a　burnt　offering　of　his

dreams；　and　the　sacrifice　had　been　an　unforgivable　hurt　to　Mary。　　All　that　was

left　for　him　was　the　work　he　had　not　chosen；　but　at　least　he　would　not　fail　in

that；　though　it　was　indeed　no　more　than　〃dust　in　his　mouth。〃　　If　there　had

been　anything　〃to　work　for　〃



He　went　to　the　window；　raised　it；　and　let　in　the　uproar　of　the　streets　below。

He　looked　down　at　the　blurred；　hurrying　swarmsand　he　looked　across；　over　the

roofs　with　their　panting　jets　of　vapor；　into　the　vast；　foggy　heart　of　the

smoke。　　Dizzy　traceries　of　steel　were　rising　dimly　against　it；　chattering　with

steel　on　steel；　and　screeching　in　steam；　while　tiny　figures　of　men　walked　on

threads　in　the　dull　sky。　　Buildings　would　overtop　the　Sheridan。　　Bigness　was

being　served。



But　what　for？　　The　old　question　came　to　Bibbs　with　a　new　despair。　　Here；　where

his　eyes　fell；　had　once　been　green　fields　and　running　brooks；　and　how　had　the

kind　earth　been　despoiled　and　disfigured！　　The　pioneers　had　begun　the　work；

but　in　their　old　age　their　orators　had　said　for　them　that　they　had　toiled　and

risked　and　sacrificed　that　their　posterity　might　live　in　peace　and　wisdom；

enjoying　the　fruits　of　the　earth。　　Well；　their　posterity　was　hereand　there

was　only　turmoil。　　Where　was　the　promised　land？　　It　had　been　promised　by　the

soldiers　of　all　the　wars；　it　had　been　promised　to　this　generation　by　the

pioneers；　but　here　was　the　very　posterity　to　whom　it　had　been　promised；

toiling　and　risking　and　sacrificing　in　turnfor　what？



The　harsh　roar　of　the　city　came　in　through　the　open　window；　continuously

beating　upon　Bibbs's　ear　until　he　began　to　distinguish　a　pulsation　in　it　a

broken　and　irregular　cadence。　　It　seemed　to　him　that　it　was　like　a　titanic

voice；　discordant；　hoarse；　rustily　metallicthe　voice　of　the　god；　Bigness。

And　the　voice　summoned　Bibbs　as　it　summoned　all　its　servants。



〃Come　and　work！〃　it　seemed　to　yell。　　〃Come　and　work　for　Me；　all　men！　　By　your

youth　and　your　hope　I　summon　you！　　By　your　age　and　your　despair　I　sommon　you

to　work　for　Me　yet　a　little；　with　what　strength　you　have。　　By　your　love　of

home　I　summon　you！　　By　your　love　of　woman　I　summon　you！　　By　your　hope　of

children　I　summon　you！



〃You　shall　be　blind　slaves　of　Mine；　blind　to　everything　but　Me；　you　Master　and

Driver！　　For　your　reward　you　shall　gaze　only　upon　my　ugliness。　　You　shall　give

your　toil　and　your　lives；　you　shall　go　mad　for　love　and　worship　of　my

ugliness！　　You　shall　perish　still　worshipping　Me；　and　your　children　shall

perish　knowing　no　other　god！〃



And　then；　as　Bibbs　closed　the　window　down　tight；　he　heard　his　father's　voice

booming　in　the　next　room；　he　could　not　distinguish　the　words；　but　the　tone　was

exultantand　there　came　the　THUMP！　THUMP！　of　the　maimed　hand。　　Bibbs　guessed

that　Sheridan　was　bragging　of　the　city　and　of　Bigness　to　some　visitor　from

out…of…town。



And　he　thought　how　truly　Sheridan　was　the　high　priest　of　Bigness。　　But　with

the　old；　old　thought　again；；　〃What　for？〃　Bibbs　caught　a　glimmer　of　far；　faint

light。　　He　saw　that　Sheridan　had　all　his　life　struggled　and　conquered；　and

must　all　his　life　go　on　struggling　and　inevitably　conquering；　as　part　of　a

vast　impulse　not　his　own。　　Sheridan　served　blindlybut　was　the　impulse　blind？

Bibbs　asked　himself　if　it　was　not　he　who　had　been　in　the　greater　hurry；　after

all。　　The　kiln　must　be　fired　before　the　vase　is　glazed；　and　the　Acropolis　was

not　crowned　with　marble　in　a　day。



Then　the　voice　came　to　him　again；　but　there　was　a　strain　in　it　as　of　some　hugh

music　struggling　to　be　born　of　the　turmoil。　　〃Ugly　I　am；〃　it　seemed　to　say　to

him；　〃but　never　forget　that　I　AM　a　god！〃　　And　the　voice　grew　in　sonorousness

and　in　dignity。　　〃The　highest　should　serve；　but　so　long　as　you　worship　me　for

my　own　sake　I　will　not　serve　you。　　It　is　man　who　makes　me　ugly；　by　his　worship

of　me。　　If　man　would　let　me　serve　him；　I　should　be　beautiful！〃



Looking　once　more　from　the　window；　Bibbs　sculptured　for　himselfin　the　vague

contortions　of　the　smoke　and　fog　above　the　roofsa　giganitc　figure　with　feet

pedestaled　upon　the　great　buildings　and　shoulders　disappearing　in　the　clouds；

a　colossus　of　steel　and　wholly　blackened　with　soot。　　But　Bibbs　carried　his