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第57节

the turmoil-第57节

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the first time a resemblance to his father。



She watched them。  In the middle of the street Bibbs had to step ahead of his

father; and the two were separated。  But the reckless passing of a truck;

beyond the second line of rails; frightened a group of country women who were

in course of passage; they were just in front of Bibbs; and shoved backward

upon him violently。  To extricate himself from them he stepped back; directly

in front of a moving trolley…carno place for absent…mindedness; but Bibbs

was still absorbed in thoughts concerned with what he had been saying to his

father。  There were shrieks and yells; Bibbs looked the wrong wayand then

Mary saw the heavy figure of Sheridan plunge straight forward in front of the

car。  With absolute disregard of his own life; he hurled himself at Bibbs like

a football…player shunting off an opponent; and to Mary it seemed that they

both went down together。  But that was all she could seeautomobiles; trucks;

and wagons closed in between。  She made out that the trolley…car stopped

jerkily; and she saw a policeman breaking his way through the instantly

condensing crowd; while the traffic came to a standstill; and people stood up

in automobiles or climbed upon the hubs and tires of wheels; not to miss a

chance of seeing anything horrible。



Mary tried to get through; it was impossible。  Other policemen came to help

the first; and in a minute or two the traffic was in motion again。 The crowd

became pliant; dispersingthere was no figure upon the ground; and no

ambulance came。  But one of the policemen was detained by the clinging and

beseeching of a gloved hand。



〃What IS the matter; lady?〃



〃Where are they?〃 Mary cried。



〃Who? Ole man Sheridan?  I reckon HE wasn't much hurt!〃



〃His SON〃



〃Was that who the other one was?  I seen him knock himoh; he's not bad off;

I guess; lady。  The ole man got him out of the way all right。  The fender

shoved the ole man around some; but I reckon he only got shook up。 They both

went on in the Sheridan Building without any help。  Excuse me; lady。〃



Sheridan and Bibbs; in fact; were at that moment in the elevator; ascending。

〃Whisk…broom up in the office;〃 Sheridan was saying。  〃You got to look out on

those corners nowadays; I tell you。  I don't know I got any call to blow;

thoughbecause I tried to cross after you did。  That's how I happened to run

into you。  Well; you want remember to look out after this。  We were talkin'

about Murtrie's askin' sixty…eight thousand flat for that ninety…nine…year

lease。  It's his lookout if he'd rather take it that way; and I don't know

but〃



〃No;〃 said Bibbs; emphatically; as the elevator stopped; 〃he won't get it。 Not

from Us; he won't; and I'll show you why。  I can convince you in five

minutes。〃  He followed his father into the office anteroomand convinced him。

Then; having been diligently brushed by a youth of color; Bibbs went into his

own room and closed the door。



He was more shaken than he had allowed his father to perceive; and his side

was sore where Sheridan had struck him。  He desired to be alone; he wanted to

rub himself and; for once; to do some useless thinking again。 He knew that his

father had not 〃happened〃 to run into him; he knew that Sheridan had

instantlyand instinctivelyproved that he held his own life of no account

whatever compared to that of his son and heir。  Bibbs had been unable to speak

of that; or to seem to know it; for Sheridan; just as instinctively; had swept

the matter asideas of no importance; since all was wellreverting

immediately to business。



Bibbs began to think intently of his father。  He perceived; as he had never

perceived before; the shadowing of something enormous and indomitableand

lawless; not to be daunted by the will of nature's very self; laughing at the

lightning and at wounds and mutilation; conquering; irresistibleand blindly

noble。  For the first time in his life Bibbs began to understand the meaning

of being truly this man's son。



He would be the more truly his son henceforth; though; as Sheridan said; Bibbs

had not come down…town with him meanly or half…heartedly。  He had given his

word because he had wanted the money; simply; for Mary Vertrees in her need。

And he shivered with horror of himself; thinking how he had gone to her to

offer it; asking her to marry himwith his head on his breast in shameful

fear that she would accept him!  He had not known her; the knowing had lost

her to him; and this had been his real awakening; for he knew now how deep had

been that slumber wherein he dreamily celebrated the superiority of

〃friendship〃!  The sleep…walker had wakened to bitter knowledge of love and

life; finding himself a failure in both。  He had made a burnt offering of his

dreams; and the sacrifice had been an unforgivable hurt to Mary。  All that was

left for him was the work he had not chosen; but at least he would not fail in

that; though it was indeed no more than 〃dust in his mouth。〃  If there had

been anything 〃to work for 〃



He went to the window; raised it; and let in the uproar of the streets below。

He looked down at the blurred; hurrying swarmsand he looked across; over the

roofs with their panting jets of vapor; into the vast; foggy heart of the

smoke。  Dizzy traceries of steel were rising dimly against it; chattering with

steel on steel; and screeching in steam; while tiny figures of men walked on

threads in the dull sky。  Buildings would overtop the Sheridan。  Bigness was

being served。



But what for?  The old question came to Bibbs with a new despair。  Here; where

his eyes fell; had once been green fields and running brooks; and how had the

kind earth been despoiled and disfigured!  The pioneers had begun the work;

but in their old age their orators had said for them that they had toiled and

risked and sacrificed that their posterity might live in peace and wisdom;

enjoying the fruits of the earth。  Well; their posterity was hereand there

was only turmoil。  Where was the promised land?  It had been promised by the

soldiers of all the wars; it had been promised to this generation by the

pioneers; but here was the very posterity to whom it had been promised;

toiling and risking and sacrificing in turnfor what?



The harsh roar of the city came in through the open window; continuously

beating upon Bibbs's ear until he began to distinguish a pulsation in it a

broken and irregular cadence。  It seemed to him that it was like a titanic

voice; discordant; hoarse; rustily metallicthe voice of the god; Bigness。

And the voice summoned Bibbs as it summoned all its servants。



〃Come and work!〃 it seemed to yell。  〃Come and work for Me; all men!  By your

youth and your hope I summon you!  By your age and your despair I sommon you

to work for Me yet a little; with what strength you have。  By your love of

home I summon you!  By your love of woman I summon you!  By your hope of

children I summon you!



〃You shall be blind slaves of Mine; blind to everything but Me; you Master and

Driver!  For your reward you shall gaze only upon my ugliness。  You shall give

your toil and your lives; you shall go mad for love and worship of my

ugliness!  You shall perish still worshipping Me; and your children shall

perish knowing no other god!〃



And then; as Bibbs closed the window down tight; he heard his father's voice

booming in the next room; he could not distinguish the words; but the tone was

exultantand there came the THUMP! THUMP! of the maimed hand。  Bibbs guessed

that Sheridan was bragging of the city and of Bigness to some visitor from

out…of…town。



And he thought how truly Sheridan was the high priest of Bigness。  But with

the old; old thought again;; 〃What for?〃 Bibbs caught a glimmer of far; faint

light。  He saw that Sheridan had all his life struggled and conquered; and

must all his life go on struggling and inevitably conquering; as part of a

vast impulse not his own。  Sheridan served blindlybut was the impulse blind?

Bibbs asked himself if it was not he who had been in the greater hurry; after

all。  The kiln must be fired before the vase is glazed; and the Acropolis was

not crowned with marble in a day。



Then the voice came to him again; but there was a strain in it as of some hugh

music struggling to be born of the turmoil。  〃Ugly I am;〃 it seemed to say to

him; 〃but never forget that I AM a god!〃  And the voice grew in sonorousness

and in dignity。  〃The highest should serve; but so long as you worship me for

my own sake I will not serve you。  It is man who makes me ugly; by his worship

of me。  If man would let me serve him; I should be beautiful!〃



Looking once more from the window; Bibbs sculptured for himselfin the vague

contortions of the smoke and fog above the roofsa giganitc figure with feet

pedestaled upon the great buildings and shoulders disappearing in the clouds;

a colossus of steel and wholly blackened with soot。  But Bibbs carried his


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