the turmoil-第27节
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〃But you're not really talking to me;〃 said Mary。 〃You're just thinking
aloud。〃
〃No;〃 he returned; gravely。 〃I'm not thinking at all; I'm only making vocal
sounds because I believe it's more mannerly。 I seem to be the subject of
what little meaning they possess; and I'd like to change it; but I don't know
how。 I haven't any experience in talking; and I don't know how to manage
it。〃
〃You needn't change the subject on my account; Mr。 Sheridan;〃 she said。 〃Not
even if you really talked about yourself。〃 She turned her face toward him as
she spoke; and Bibbs caught his breath; he was pathetically amazed by the
look she gave him。 It was a glowing look; warmly friendly and understanding;
and; what almost shocked him; it was an eagerly interested look。 Bibbs was
not accustomed to anything like that。
〃IyouII'm〃 he stammered; and the faint color in his cheeks grew
almost vivid。
She was still looking at him; and she saw the strange radiance that came into
his face。 There was something about him; too; that explained how 〃queer〃
many people might think him; but he did not seem 〃queer〃 to Mary Vertrees; he
seemed the most quaintly natural person she had ever met。
He waited; and became coherent。 〃YOU say something now;〃 he said。 〃I don't
even belong in the chorus; and here I am; trying to sing the funny man's
solo! You〃
〃No;〃 she interrupted。 〃I'd rather play your accompaniment。〃
〃I'll stop and listen to it; then。〃
〃Perhaps〃 she began; but after pausing thoughtfully she made a gesture with
her muff; indicating a large brick church which they were approaching。 〃Do
you see that church; Mr。 Sheridan?〃
〃I suppose I could;〃 he answered in simple truthfulness; looking at her。
〃But I don't want to。 Once; when I was ill; the nurse told me I'd better say
anything that was on my mind; and I got the habit。 The other reason I don't
want to see the church is that I have a feeling it's where you're going; and
where I'll be sent back。〃
She shook her head in cheery negation。 〃Not unless you want to be。 Would
you like to come with me?〃
〃Whywhyyes;〃 he said。 〃Anywhere!〃 And again it was apparent that he
spoke in simple truthfulness。
〃Then comeif you care for organ music。 The organist is an old friend of
mine; and sometimes he plays for me。 He's a dear old man。 He had a degree
from Bonn; and was a professor afterward; but he gave up everything for
music。 That's he; waiting in the doorway。 He looks like Beethoven; doesn't
he? I think he knows that; perhaps; and enjoys it a little。 I hope so。〃
〃Yes;〃 said Bibbs; as they reached the church steps。 〃I think Beethoven
would like it; too。 It must be pleasant to look like other people。〃
〃I haven't kept you?〃 Mary said to the organist。
〃No; no;〃 he answered; heartily。 〃I would not mind so only you should shooer
come!〃
〃This is Mr。 Sheridan; Dr。 Kraft。 He has come to listen with me。〃
The organist looked bluntly surprised。 〃Iss that SO?〃 he exclaimed。 〃Well;
I am glad if you wish him; and if he can stant my liddle playink。 He iss
musician himself; then; of course。〃
〃No;〃 said Bibbs; as the three entered the church together。 〃II played
theI tried to play〃 Fortunately he checked himself; he had been about to
offer the information that he had failed to master the jews'…harp in his
boyhood。 〃No; I'm not a musician;〃 he contented himself with saying。
〃What?〃 Dr。 Kraft's surprise increased。 〃Young man; you are fortunate! I
play for Miss Vertrees; she comes always alone。 You are the first。 You are
the first one EVER!〃
They had reached the head of the central aisle; and as the organist finished
speaking Bibbs stopped short; turning to look at Mary Vertrees in a dazed way
that was not of her preceiving; for; though she stopped as he did; her gaze
followed the organist; who was walking away from them toward the front of the
church; shaking his white Beethovian mane roguishly。
〃It's false pretenses on my part;〃 Bibbs said。 〃You mean to be kind to the
sick; but I'm not an invalid any more。 I'm so well I'm going back to work in
a few days。 I'd better leave before he begins to play; hadn't I?〃
〃No;〃 said Mary; beginning to walk forward。 〃Not unless you don't like great
music。〃
He followed her to a seat about half…way up the aisle while Dr。 Kraft
ascended to the organ。 It was an enormous one; the procession of pipes
ranging from long; starveling whistles to thundering fat guns; they covered
all the rear wall of the church; and the organist's figure; reaching its high
perch; looked like that of some Lilliputian magician ludicrously daring the
attempt to conrol a monster certain to overwhelm him。
〃This afternoon some Handel!〃 he turned to shout。
Mary nodded。 〃Will you like that?〃 she asked Bibbs。
〃I don't know。 I never heard any except 'Largo。' I don't know anything
about music。 I don't even know how to pretend I do。 If I knew enough to
pretend; I would。〃
〃No;〃 said Mary; looking at him and smiling faintly; 〃you wouldn't。〃
She turned away as a great sound began to swim and tremble in the air; the
hugh empty space of the church filled with it; and the two people listening
filled with it; the universe seemed to fill and thrill with it。 The two sat
intensely still; the great sound all round about them; while the church grew
dusky; and only the organist's lamp made a tiny star of light。 His white
head moved from side to side beneath it rhythmically; or lunged and recovered
with the fierceness of a duelist thrusting; but he was magnificently the
master of his giant; and it sang to his magic as he bade it。
Bibbs was swept away upon that mighty singing。 Such a thing was wholly
unknown to him; there had been no music in his meager life。 Unlike the tale;
it was the Princess Bedrulbudour who had brought him to the enchanted cave;
and thatfor Bibbswas what made its magic dazing。 It seemed to him a
long; long time since he had been walking home drearily from Dr。 Gurney's
office; it seemed to him that he had set out upon a happy journey since then;
and that he had reached another planet; where Mary Vertrees and he sat alone
together listening to a vast choiring of invisible soldiers and holy angels。
There were armies of voices about them singing praise and thanksgiving; and
yet they were alone。 It was incredible that the walls of the church were
not the boundaries of the universe; to remain so for ever; incredible that
there was a smoky street just yonder; where housemaids were bringing in
evening papers from front steps and where children were taking their last
spins on roller…skates before being haled indoors for dinner。
He had a curious sense of communication with his new friend。 He knew it
could not be so; and yet he felt as if all the time he spoke to her; saying:
〃You hear this strain? You hear that strain? You know the dream that these
sounds bring to me?〃 And it seemed to him as though she answered
continually: 〃I hear! I hear that strain; and I hear the new one that you
are hearing now。 I know the dream that these sounds bring to you。 Yes; yes;
I hear it all! We heartogether!〃
And though the church grew so dim that all was mysterious shadow except the
vague planes of the windows and the organist's light; with the white head
moving beneath it; Bibbs had no consciousness that the girl sitting beside
him had grown shadowy; he seemed to see her as plainly as ever in the
darkness; though he did not look at her。 And all the mighty chanting of the
organ's multitudinous voices that afternoon seemed to Bibbs to be chorusing
of her and interpreting her; singing her thoughts and singing for him the
world of humble gratitude that was in his heart because she was so kind to
him。 It all meant Mary。
But when she asked him what it meant;on their homeward way; he was silent。
They had come a few paces from the church without speaking; walking slowly。
〃I'll tell you what it meant to me;〃 she said; as he did not immediately
reply。 〃Almost any music of Handel's always means one thing above all others
to me: courage! That's it。 It makes cowardice of whining seem so
infinitesimalit makes MOST things in our hustling little lives seem
infinitesimal。〃
〃Yes;〃 he said。 〃It seems odd; doesn't it; that people down…town are
hurrying to trains and hanging to straps in trolley…cars; weltering every way
to get home and feed and sleep so they can get down…town to…morrow。 And yet
there isn't anything down there worth getting to。 They're like servants
drudging to keep the house going; and believing the drudgery itself is the
great thing。 They make so much noise and fuss and dirt they forget that the
house was meant to live in。 The housework has to be done; but the people who
do it have been so ov