the turmoil-第16节
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understand; too; what it meant to start one o' my boys and have him come back
on me the way you did; and have to be sent to a sanitarium because he
couldn't stand work。 Now; let's get right down to it; Bibbs。 I've had a
whole lot o' talk with ole Doc Gurney about you; one time another; and I
reckon I understand your case just about as well as he does; anyway! Now
here; I'll be frank with you。 I started you in harder than what I did the
other boys; and that was for your own good; because I saw you needed to be
shook up more'n they did。 You were always kind of moody and mopishand you
needed work that 'd keep you on the jump。 Now; why did it make you sick
instead of brace you up and make a man of you the way it ought of done? I
pinned ole Gurney down to it。 I says; 'Look here; ain't it really because he
just plain hated it?' 'Yes;' he says; 'that's it。 If he'd enjoyed it; it
wouldn't 'a' hurt him。 He loathes it; and that affects his nervous system
The more he tries it; the more he hates it; and the more he hates it; the
more injury it does him。' That ain't quite his words; but it's what he
meant。 And that's about the way it is。〃
〃Yes;〃 said Bibbs; 〃that's about the way it is。〃
〃Well; then; I reckon it's up to me not only to make you do it; but to make
you like it!〃
Bibbs shivered。 And he turned upon his father a look that was almost
ghostly。 〃I can't;〃 he said; in a low voice。 〃I can't。〃
〃Can't go back to the shop?〃
〃No。 Can't like it。 I can't。〃
Sheridan jumped up; his patience gone。 To his own view; he had reasoned
exhaustively; had explained fully and had pleaded more than a father should;
only to be met in the end with the unreasoning and mysterious stubbornness
which had been Bibbs's baffling characteristic from childhood。 〃By George;
you will!〃 he cried。 〃You'll go back there and you'll like it! Gurney says
it won't hurt you if you like it; and he says it 'll kill you if you go back
and hate it; so it looks as if it was about up to you not to hate it。 Well;
Gurney's a fool! Hatin' work doesn't kill anybody; and this isn't goin' to
kill you; whether you hate it or not。 I've never made a mistake in a
serious matter in my life; and it wasn't a mistake my sendin' you there in
the first place。 And I'm goin' to prove itI'm goin' to send you back there
and vindicate my judgment。 Gurney says it's all 'mental attitude。' Well;
you're goin' to learn the right one! He says in a couple more months this
fool thing that's been the matter with you 'll be disappeared completely and
you'll be back in as good or better condition than you were before you ever
went into the shop。 And right then is when you begin overright in that
same shop! Nobody can call me a hard man or a mean father。 I do the best I
can for my chuldern; and I take full responsibility for bringin' my sons up
to be men。 Now; so far; I've failed with you。 But I'm not goin' to keep ON
failin'。 I never tackled a job YET I didn't put through; and I'm not goin'
to begin with my own son。 I'm goin' to make a MAN of you。 By God! I am!〃
Bibbs rose and went slowly to the door; where he turned。 〃You say you give
me a couple of months?〃 he said。
Sheridan pushed a bell…button on his desk。 〃Gurney said two months more
would put you back where you were。 You go home and begin to get yourself in
the right 'mental attitude' before those two months are up! Good…by!〃
〃Good…by; sir;〃 said Bibbs; meekly。
Bibbs's room; that neat apartment for transients to which the 〃lamidal〃
George had shown him upon his return; still bore the appearance of temporary
quarters; possibly because Bibbs had no clear conception of himself as a
permanent incumbent。 However; he had set upon the mantelpiece the two
photographs that he owned: one; a 〃group〃 twenty years oldhis father and
mother; with Jim and Roscoe as boysand the other a 〃cabinet〃 of Edith at
sixteen。 And upon a table were the books he had taken from his trunk: Sartor
Resartus; Virginibus Puerisque; Huckleberry Finn; and Afterwhiles。 There
were some other books in the trunka large one; which remained unremoved at
the foot of the bed; adding to the general impression of transiency。 It
contained nearly all the possessions as well as the secret life of Bibbs
Sheridan; and Bibbs sat beside it; the day after his interview with his
father; raking over a small collection of manuscripts in the top tray。 Some
of these he glanced through dubiously; finding little comfort in them; but
one made him smile。 Then he shook his head ruefully indeed; and ruefully
began to read it。 It was written on paper stamped 〃Hood Sanitarium;〃 and
bore the title; 〃Leisure。〃
A man may keep a quiet heart at seventy miles an hour; but not if he is
running the train。 Nor is the habit of contemplation a useful quality in the
stoker of a foundry furnace; it will not be found to recommend him to the
approbation of his superiors。 For a profession adapted solely to the pursuit
of happiness in thinking; I would choose that of an invalid: his money is
time and he may spend it on Olympus。 It will not suffice to be an amateur
invalid。 To my way of thinking; the perfect practitioner must be to all
outward purposes already dead if he is to begin the perfect enjoyment of
life。 His serenity must not be disturbed by rumors of recovery; he must lie
serene in his long chair in the sunshine。 The world must be on the other side
of the wall; and the wall must be so thick and so high that he cannot hear
the roaring of the furnace fires and the screaming of the whistles。 Peace
Having read so far as the word 〃peace;〃 Bibbs suffered an interruption
interesting as a coincidence of contrast。 High voices sounded in the hall
just outside his door; and it became evident that a woman's quarrel was in
progress; the parties to it having begun it in Edith's room; and continuing
it vehemently as they came out into the hall。
〃Yes; you BETTER go home!〃 Bibbs heard his sister vociferating; shrilly。 〃You
better go home and keep your mind a little more on your HUSBAND!〃
〃Edie; Edie!〃 he heard his mother remonstrating; as peacemaker。
〃You see here!〃 This was Sibyl; and her voice was both acrid and tremulous。
〃Don't you talk to me that way! I came here to tell Mother Sheridan what I'd
heard; and to let her tell Father Sheridan if she thought she ought to; and I
did it for your own good。〃
〃Yes; you did!〃 And Edith's gibing laughter tooted loudly。 〃Yes; you did!
YOU didn't have any other reason! OH no! YOU don't want to break it up
between Bobby Lamhorn and me because〃
〃Edie; Edie! Now; now!〃
〃Oh; hush up; mamma! I'd like to know; then; if she says her new friends
tell her he's got such a reputation that he oughtn't to come here; what about
his not going to HER house。 How〃
〃I've explained that to Mother Sheridan。〃 Sibyl's voice indicated that she
was descending the stairs。 〃Married people are not the same。 Some things
that should be shielded from a young girl〃
This seemed to have no very soothing effect upon Edith。 〃'Shielded from a
young girl'!〃 she shrilled。 〃You seem pretty willing to be the shield! You
look out Roscoe doesn't notice what kind of a shield you are!〃
Sibyl's answer was inaudible; but Mrs。 Sheridan's flurried attempts at
pacification were renewed。 〃Now; Edie; Edie; she means it for your good; and
you'd oughtn't to〃
〃Oh; hush up; mamma; and let me alone! If you dare tell papa〃
〃Now; now! I'm not going to tell him to…day; and maybe〃
〃You've got to promise NEVER to tell him!〃 the girl cried; passionately。
〃Well; we'll see。 You just come back in your own room; and we'll〃
〃No! I WON'T 'talk it over'! Stop pulling me! Let me ALONE!〃 And Edith;
flinging herself violently upon Bibbs's door; jerked it open; swung round it
into the room; slammed the door behind her; and threw herself; face down;
upon the bed in such a riot of emotion that she had no perception of Bibbs's
presence in the room。 Gasping and sobbing in a passion of tears; she beat
the coverlet and pillows with her clenched fists。 〃Sneak!〃 she babbled aloud。
〃Sneak! Snake…in…the…grass! Cat!〃
Bibbs saw that she did not know he was there; and he went softly toward the
door; hoping to get away before she became aware of him; but some sound of
his movement reached her; and she sat up; startled; facing him。
〃Bibbs! I thought I saw you go out awhile ago。〃
〃Yes。 I came back; though。 I'm sorry〃
〃Did you hear me quarreling with Sibyl?〃
〃Only what you said in the hall。 You lie down again; Edith。 I'm going out。〃
〃No; don't go。〃 She applied a handkerchief to her eyes; emitted a sob; and
repeated her request。 〃Don't go。 I don't mind you; you're quiet; anyhow。
Mamma's so fussy; and never gets anywhere。 I