merton of the movies-第33节

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the　load　the　mattress　on　which　he　had　lain　for　three　nights　and　the　blankets　that　had　warmed　him。　But　he　was　proved　not　to　be　so　helpless　as　he　had　thought。　Again　he　knew　where　a　good　night's　rest　might　be　had　by　one　using　ordinary　discretion。

Again　that　day；　the　fourth　of　his　double　life；　he　went　the　mad　pace；　a　well…fed；　carefree　youth；　sauntering　idly　from　stage　to　stage；　regarding　nonchalantly　the　joys　and　griefs；　the　twistings　of　human　destiny　there　variously　unfolded。　Not　only　was　he　this　to　the　casual　public　notice；　to　himself　he　was　this；　at　least　consciously。　True；　in　those　nether　regions　of　the　mind　so　lately　discovered　and　now　being　so　expertly　probed　by　Science；　in　the　mind's　dark　basement；　so　to　say；　a　certain　unlovely　fronted　dragon　of　reality　would　issue　from　the　gloom　where　it　seemed　to　have　been　lurking　and　force　itself　upon　his　notice。

This　would　be　at　oddly　contented　moments　when　he　least　feared　the　future；　when　he　was　most　successfully　being　to　himself　all　that　he　must　seem　to　others。　At　such　times　when　he　leisurely　walked　a　world　of　plenty　and　fruition；　the　dragon　would　half…emerge　from　its　subconscious　lair　to　chill　him　with　its　head　composed　entirely　of　repellent　facts。　Then　a　stout　effort　would　be　required　to　send　the　thing　back　where　it　belonged；　to　those　lower；　decently　hidden　levels　of　the　mindlife。

And　the　dragon　was　cunning。　From　hour　to　hour；　growing　more　restive；　it　employed　devices　of　craft　and　subtlety。　As　when　Merton　Gill；　carefree　to　the　best　of　his　knowledge；　strolling　lightly　to　another　point　of　interest；　graciously　receptive　to　the　pleasant　life　about　him；　would　suddenly　discover　that　a　part　of　his　mind　without　superintendence　had　for　some　moments　been　composing　a　letter；　something　that　ran　in　effect：

〃Mr。　Gashwiler；　dear　sir；　I　have　made　certain　changes　in　my　plans　since　I　first　came　to　sunny　California　and　getting　quite　a　little　homesick　for　good　old　Simsbury　and　I　thought　I　would　write　you　about　taking　back　my　old　job　in　the　emporium；　and　now　about　the　money　for　the　ticket　back　to　Simsbury；　the　railroad　fare　is〃

He　was　truly　amazed　when　he　found　this　sort　of　thing　going　on　in　that　part　of　his　mind　he　didn't　watch。　It　was　scandalous。　He　would　indignantly　snatch　the　half…finished　letter　and　tear　it　up　each　time　he　found　it　unaccountably　under　way。

It　was　surely　funny　the　way　your　mind　would　keep　doing　things　you　didn't　want　it　to　do。　As；　again；　this　very　morning　when；　with　his　silver　coin　out　in　his　hand；　he　had　merely　wished　to　regard　it　as　a　great　deal　of　silver　coin；　a　store　of　plenty　against　famine；　which　indeed　it　looked　to　be　under　a　not…too…minute　scrutiny。　It　looked　like　as　much　as　two　dollars　and　fifty　cents；　and　he　would　have　preferred　to　pocket　it　again　with　this　impression。　Yet　that　rebellious　other　part　of　his　mind　had　basely　counted　the　coin　even　while　he　eyed　it　approvingly；　and　it　had　persisted　in　shouting　aloud　that　it　was　not　two　dollars　and　fifty　cents　but　one　dollar　and　eightyfive　cents。

The　counting　part　of　the　mind　made　no　comment　on　this　discrepancy；　it　did　not　say　that　this　discovery　put　things　in　a　very　different　light。　It　merely　counted；　registered　the　result；　and　ceased　to　function；　with　an　air　of　saying　that　it　would　ascertain　the　facts　without　prejudice　and　you　could　do　what　you　liked　about　them。　It　didn't　care。

That　night　a　solitary　guest　enjoyed　the　quiet　hospitality　of　the　Crystal　Palace　Hotel。　He　might　have　been　seenbut　was　notto　effect　a　late　evening　entrance　to　this　snug　inn　by　means　of　a　front　window　which　had；　it　would　seem；　at　some　earlier　hour　of　the　day；　been　unfastened　from　within。　Here　a　not…too…luxurious　but　sufficing　bed　was　contrived　on　the　floor　of　the　lobby　from　a　pile　of　neatly　folded　blankets　at　hand；　and　a　second　night's　repose　was　enjoyed　by　the　lonely　patron；　who　again　at　an　early　hour　of　the　morning；　after　thoughtfully　refolding　the　blankets　that　had　protected　him；　was　at　some　pains　to　leave　the　place　as　he　had　entered　it　without　attracting　public　notice；　perchance　of　unpleasant　character。

On　this　day　it　would　not　have　been　possible　for　any　part　of　the　mind　whatsoever　to　misvalue　the　remaining　treasure　of　silver　coin。　It　had　become　inconsiderable；　and　even　if　kept　from　view　could　be；　and　was；　counted　again　and　again　by　mere　blind　fingertips。　They　contracted；　indeed；　a　senseless　habit　of　confining　themselves　in　a　trouser's　pocket　to　count　the　half…dollar；　the　quarter；　and　the　two　dimes　long　after　the　total　was　too　well　known　to　its　owner。

Nor　did　this　total；　unimpressive　at　best；　long　retain　even　these　poor　dimensions。　A　visit　to　the　cafeteria；　in　response　to　the　imperious　demands　of　a　familiar　organic　process；　resulted　in　less　labour；　by　two　dimes；　for　the　stubbornly　reiterative　fingertips。

An　ensuing　visit　to　the　Holden　lot　barber；　in　obedience　to　social　demands　construed　to　be　equally　imperious　with　the　physical；　reduced　all　subsequent　counting；　whether　by　fingertips　or　a　glance　of　the　eye；　to　barest　mechanical　routine。　A　single　half…dollar　is　easy　to　count。　Still；　on　the　following　morning　there　were　two　coins　to　count。　True；　both　were　dimes。

A　diligent　search　among　the　miscellany　of　the　Crystal　Palace　Hotel　had　failed　to　reveal　a　single　razor。　The　razor　used　by　the　miner　should　in　all　reason　have　been　found；　but　there　was　neither　that　nor　any　other。　The　baffled　seeker　believed　there　must　have　been　crooked　work　somewhere。　Without　hesitation　he　found　either　Jimmie　or　his　companion　to　be　guilty　of　malfeasance　in　office。　But　at　least　one　item　of　more　or　less　worried　debate　was　eliminated。　He　need　no　longer　weigh　mere　surface　gentility　against　the　stern　demands　of　an　active　metabolism。　A　shave　cost　a　quarter。　Twenty　cents　would　not　buy　a　shave；　but　it　would　buy　at　the　cafeteria　something　more　needful　to　any　one　but　a　fop。

He　saw　himself　in　the　days　to　comeif　there　were　very　many　days　to　come；　of　which　he　was　now　not　too　certaindescending　to　the　unwholesome　artistic　level　of　the　elder　Montague。　He　would；　in　short；　be　compelled　to　peddle　the　brush。　And　of　course　as　yet　it　was　nothing　like　a　brushnothing　to　kindle　the　eye　of　a　director　needing　genuine　brushes。　In　the　early　morning　light　he　fingered　a　somewhat　gaunt　chin　and　wondered　how　long　〃they〃　would　require　to　grow。　Not　yet　could　he　be　taken　for　one　of　those　actors　compelled　by　the　rigorous　exactions　of　creative　screen　art　to　let　Nature　have　its　course　with　his　beard。　At　present　he　merely　needed　a　shave。

And　the　collar　had　not　improved　with　usage。　Also；　as　the　day　wore　on；　coffee　with　one　egg　proved　to　have　been　not　long…enduring　fare　for　this　private　in　the　army　of　the　unemployed。　Still；　his　morale　was　but　slightly　impaired。　There　were　always　ways；　it　seemed。　And　the　later　hours　of　the　hungry　afternoon　were　rather　pleasantly　occupied　in　dwelling　upon　one　of　them。

The　sole　guest　of　the　Crystal　Palace　Hotel　entered　the　hostelry　that　night　somewhat　earlier　than　was　usual；　indeed　at　the　very　earliest　moment　that　foot　traffic　through　the　narrow　street　seemed　to　have　diminished　to　a　point　where　the　entry　could　be　effected　without　incurring　the　public　notice　which　he　at　these　moments　so　sincerely　shunned。　After　a　brief　interval　inside　the　lobby　he　issued　from　his　window　with　certain　objects　in　hand；　one　of　which　dropped　as　he　clambered　out。　The　resulting　clamour　seemed　to　rouse　far　echoes　along　the　dead　street；　and　he　hastily　withdrew；　with　a　smothered　exclamation　of　dismay；　about　the　nearest　corner　of　the　building　until　it　could　be　ascertained　that　echoes　alone　had　been　aroused。

After　a　little　breathless　waiting　he　slunk　down　the　street；　keeping　well　within　friendly　shadows；　stepping　softly；　until　he　reached　the　humble　cabin　where　so　lately　the　honest　miners　had　enacted　their　heart…tragedy。　He　jerked　the　latch…string　of　the　door　and　was　swiftly　inside；　groping　a　way　to　the　fireplace。　Here　he　lighted　matches；　thoughtfully　appropriated　that　morning　from　the　cafeteria　counter。　He　shielded　the　blaze　with　one　hand　while　with　the　other　he　put　to　use　the　articles　he　had　brought　from　his　hotel。

Into　a　tin　cooking　pot　with　a　long　handle　he　now　hastily　ladled　well…cooked　beans　from　the　discarded　heap　in　the　fireplace；　by　means　of　an　iron　spoon。　He　was　not　too　careful。　More　or　less　ashes　accompanied　the　nutritious　vegetables　as　the　pot　grew　to　be　half　full。　That　was　a　thing　to　be　corrected　later；　and　at　leisure。　When　the　last　bean　had　been　salvaged　the　flame　of　another　match　revealed　an　unsuspected　itema　half…loaf　of　bread　nestled　in　the　ashes　at　the　far　corner　of　the　fireplace。　It　lacked　freshness；　was；　in　truth；　withered　and　firm　to　the　touch；　but　doubtless　more　wholesome　than　bread　freshly　baked。

He　was　again　on　his　humble　cot　in　the　seclusion　of　the　Crystal　Palace　Hotel。　Half…reclining；　he　ate　at　leisure。　It　being　inadvisable　to　light　matches　here　he　ate　chiefly　by　the　touch　system。　There　was　a　marked　alkaline　flavour　to　the　repast；　not　unpleasantly　counteracted　by　a　growth　of　vegetable　mould　of　delicate　lavender　tints　which　Nature　had　been　decently　spreading　over　the　final　reduction　of　this　provender　to　its　basic　elements。　But　the　time　was　not　one　in　which　to　cavil　about　minor　infelicities。　Ashes　wouldn't　hurt　any　one　if　taken　in　moderation；　you　couldn't　s