a simpleton-第43节

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little　yard；　where　he　had　so　walked　and　waited；　became　a　temple　to
her；　and　she　came　out　and　sat　in　it；　and　now　first　felt　to　the　full
how　much　he　had　suffered　therewith　what　fortitude。　　She　crept
about　the　house；　and　kissed　the　chair　he　had　sat　in；　and　every
much…used　place　and　thing　of　the　departed。

Her　shallow　nature　deepened　and　deepened　under　this　bereavement；　of
which；　she　said　to　herself；　with　a　shudder；　she　was　the　cause。　　And
this　is　the　course　of　nature；　there　is　nothing　like　suffering　to
enlighten　the　giddy　brain；　widen　the　narrow　mind；　improve　the
trivial　heart。

As　her　regrets　were　tender　and　deep；　so　her　vows　of　repentance　were
sincere。　　Oh；　what　a　wife　she　would　make　when　he　came　back！　how
thoughtful！　how　prudent！　how　loyal！　and　never　have　a　secret。　　She
who　had　once　said；　〃What　is　the　use　of　your　writing？　nobody　will
publish　it；〃　now　collected　and　perused　every　written　scrap。　　With
simple　affection　she　even　locked　up　his　very　waste…paper　basket；
full　of　fragments　he　had　torn；　or　useless　papers　he　had　thrown
there；　before　he　went　to　Plymouth。

In　the　drawer　of　his　writing…table　she　found　his　diary。　　It　was　a
thick　quarto：　it　began　with　their　marriage；　and　ended　with　his
leaving　homefor　then　he　took　another　volume。　　This　diary　became
her　Bible；　she　studied　it　daily；　till　her　tears　hid　his　lines。　　The
entries　were　very　miscellaneous；　very　exact；　it　was　a　map　of　their
married　life。　　But　what　she　studied　most　was　his　observations　on
her　own　character；　so　scientific；　yet　so　kindly；　and　his　scholar…
like　and　wise　reflections。　　The　book　was　an　unconscious　picture　of
a　great　mind　she　had　hitherto　but　glanced　at：　now　she　saw　it　all
plain　before　her；　saw　it；　understood　it；　adored　it；　mourned　it。
Such　women　are　shallow；　not　for　want　of　a　head　upon　their
shoulders；　but　of　ATTENTION。　　They　do　not　really　study　anything：
they　have　been　taught　at　their　schools　the　bad　art　of　skimming；　but
let　their　hearts　compel　their　brains　to　think　and　think；　the　result
is　considerable。　　The　deepest　philosopher　never　fathomed　a
character　more　thoroughly　than　this　poor　child　fathomed　her
philosopher；　when　she　had　read　his　journal　ten　or　eleven　times；　and
bedewed　it　with　a　thousand　tears。

One　passage　almost　cut　her　more　intelligent　heart　in　twain：

〃This　dark　day　I　have　done　a　thing　incredible。　　I　have　spoken　with
brutal　harshness　to　the　innocent　creature　I　have　sworn　to　protect。
She　had　run　in　debt；　through　inexperience；　and　that　unhappy
timidity　which　makes　women　conceal　an　error　till　it　ramifies；　by
concealment；　into　a　fault；　and　I　must　storm　and　rave　at　her；　till
she　actually　fainted　away。　　Brute！　　Ruffian！　　Monster！　　And　she；
how　did　she　punish　me；　poor　lamb？　　By　soft　and　tender　wordslike　a
lady；　as　she　is。　　Oh；　my　sweet　Rosa；　I　wish　you　could　know　how　you
are　avenged。　　Talk　of　the　scourgethe　cat！　　I　would　be　thankful
for　two　dozen　lashes。　　Ah！　there　is　no　need；　I　think；　to　punish　a
man　who　has　been　cruel　to　a　woman。　　Let　him　alone。　　He　will　punish
himself　more　than　you　can；　if　he　is　really　a　man。〃

From　the　date　of　that　entry；　this　self…reproach　and　self…torture
kept　cropping　up　every　now　and　then　in　the　diary；　and　it　appeared
to　have　been　not　entirely　without　its　influence　in　sending　Staines
to　sea；　though　the　main　reason　he　gave　was　that　his　Rosa　might　have
the　comforts　and　luxuries　she　had　enjoyed　before　she　married　him。

One　day；　while　she　was　crying　over　this　diary；　Uncle　Philip　called；
but　not　to　comfort　her；　I　promise　you。　　He　burst　on　her；　irate；　to
take　her　to　task。　　He　had　returned；　learned　Christopher's
departure；　and　settled　the　reason　in　his　own　mind：　that　uxorious
fool　was　gone　to　sea　by　a　natural　reaction；　his　eyes　were　open　to
his　wife　at　last；　and　he　was　sick　of　her　folly；　so　he　had　fled　to
distant　climes；　as　who　would　not；　that　could？

〃SO；　ma'am；〃　said　he；　〃my　nephew　is　gone　to　sea；　I　findall　in　a
hurry。　　Pray　may　I　ask　what　he　has　done　that　for？〃

It　was　a　very　simple　question；　yet　it　did　not　elicit　a　very　plain
answer。　　She　only　stared　at　this　abrupt　inquisitor；　and　then　cried；
piteously；　〃Oh；　Uncle　Philip！〃　and　burst　out　sobbing。

〃Why；　what　is　the　matter？〃

〃You　WILL　hate　me　now。　　He　is　gone　to　make　money　for　ME；　and　I
would　rather　have　lived　on　a　crust。　　Uncledon't　hate　me。　　I'm　a
poor；　bereaved；　heart…broken　creature；　that　repents。〃

〃Repents！　heigho！　why；　what　have　you　been　up　to　now；　ma'am？　　No
great　harm；　I'll　be　bound。　　Flirting　a　little　with　some　FOOLeh？〃

〃Flirting！　　Me！　a　married　woman。〃

〃Oh；　to　be　sure；　I　forgot。　　Why；　surely　he　has　not　deserted　you。〃

〃My　Christopher　desert　me！　　He　loves　me　too　well；　far　more　than　I
deserve；　but　not　more　than　I　will。　　Uncle　Philip；　I　am　too　confused
and　wretched　to　tell　you　all　that　has　happened；　but　I　know　you　love
him；　though　you　had　a　tiff：　uncle；　he　called　on　you；　to　shake　hands
and　ask　your　forgiveness；　poor　fellow！　　He　was　so　sorry　you　were
away。　　Please　read　his　dear　diary：　it　will　tell　you　all；　better
than　his　poor　foolish　wife　can。　　I　know　it　by　heart。　　I'll　show　you
where　you　and　he　quarrelled　about　me。　　There；　see。〃　　And　she　showed
him　the　passage　with　her　finger。　　〃He　never　told　me　it　was　that；　or
I　would　have　come　and　begged　your　pardon　on　my　knees。　　But　see　how
sorry　he　was。　　There；　see。　　And　now　I'll　show　you　another　place；
where　my　Christopher　speaks　of　your　many；　many　acts　of　kindness。
There；　see。　　And　now　please　let　me　show　you　how　he　longed　for
reconciliation。　　There；　see。　　And　it　is　the　same　through　the　book。
And　now　I'll　show　you　how　grieved　he　was　to　go　without　your
blessing。　　I　told　him　I　was　sure　you　would　give　him　that；　and　him
going　away。　　Ah；　me！　will　he　ever　return？　　Uncle　dear；　don't　hate
me。　　What　shall　I　do；　now　he　is　gone；　if　you　disown　me？　　Why；　you
are　the　only　Staines　left　me　to　love。〃

〃Disown　you；　ma'am！　that　I'll　never　do。　　You　are　a　good…hearted
young　woman；　I　find。　　There；　run　and　dry　your　eyes；　and　let　me　read
Christopher's　diary　all　through。　　Then　I　shall　see　how　the　land
lies。〃

Rosa　complied　with　his　proposal；　and　left　him　alone　while　she
bathed　her　eyes；　and　tried　to　compose　herself；　for　she　was　all
trembling　at　this　sudden　irruption。

When　she　returned　to　the　drawing…room；　he　was　walking　about；
looking　grave　and　thoughtful。

〃It　is　the　old　story；〃　said　he；　rather　gently：　〃a　MISUNDERSTANDING。
How　wise　our　ancestors　were　that　first　used　that　word　to　mean　a
quarrel！　for；　look　into　twenty　quarrels；　and　you　shall　detect　a
score　of　mis…under…standings。　　Yet　our　American　cousins　must　go　and
substitute　the　un…ideaed　word　'difficulty'；　that　is　wonderful。　　I
had　no　quarrel　with　him：　delighted　to　see　either　of　you。　　But　I　had
called　twice　on　him；　so　I　thought　he　ought　to　get　over　his　temper；
and　call　on　a　tried　friend　like　me。　　A　misunderstanding！　　Now；　my
dear；　let　us　have　no　more　of　these　misunderstandings。　　You　will
always　be　welcome　at　my　house；　and　I　shall　often　come　here　and　look
after　you　and　your　interests。　　What　do　you　mean　to　do；　I　wonder？〃

〃Sir；　I　am　to　go　home　to　my　father；　if　he　will　be　troubled　with　me。
I　have　written　to　him。〃

〃And　what　is　to　become　of　the　Bijou？〃

〃My　Christie　thought　I　should　like　to　part　with　it；　and　the
furniturebut　his　own　writing…desk　and　his　chair；　no；　I　never
will；　and　his　little　clock。　　Oh！　oh！　oh！But　I　remember　what　you
said　about　agents；　and　I　don't　know　what　to　do；　for　I　shall　be
away。〃

〃Then；　leave　it　to　me。　　I'll　come　and　live　here　with　one　servant；
and　I'll　soon　sell　it　for　you。〃

〃You；　Uncle　Philip！〃

〃Well；　why　not？〃　said　he　roughly。

〃That　will　be　a　great　trouble　and　discomfort　to　you；　I'm　afraid。〃

〃If　I　find　it　so；　I'll　soon　drop　it。　　I'm　not　the　fool　to　put
myself　out　for　anybody。　　When　you　are　ready　to　go　out；　send　me
word；　and　I'll　come　in。〃

Soon　after　this　he　bustled　off。　　He　gave　her　a　sort　of　hurried　kiss
at　parting；　as　if　he　was　ashamed　of　it；　and　wanted　it　over　as
quickly　as　possible。

Next　day　her　father　came；　condoled　with　her　politely；　assured　her
there　was　nothing　to　cry　about；　husbands　were　a　sort　of
functionaries　that　generally　went　to　sea　at　some　part　of　their
career；　and　no　harm　ever　came　of　it。　　On　the　contrary；　〃Absence
makes　the　heart　grow　fonder；〃　said　this　judicious　parent。

This　sentiment　happened　to　be　just　a　little　too　true；　and　set　the
daughter　crying　bitterly。　　But　she　fought　against　it。　　〃Oh　no！〃
said　she；　〃I　MUSTN'T。　　I　will　not　be　always　crying　in　Kent　Villa。〃

〃Lord　forbid！〃

〃I　shall　get　over　it　in　timea　little。〃

〃Why；　of　course　you　will。　　But　as　to　your　coming　to　Kent　Villa；　I
am　afraid　you　would　not　be　very　comfortable　there。　　You　know　I　am
superannuated。　　Only　got　my　pension　now。〃

〃I　know　that；　papa：　andwhy；　that　is　one　of　the　reasons。　　I　have　a
good　income　now；　and　I　thought　if　we　put　our　means　together〃

〃Oh；　that　is　a　very　different　thing。　　You　will　want　a　carriage；　I
suppose。　　I　have　put　mine　down。〃

〃No　carriage；　no　horse；　no　footman；　no　luxury　of　any　kind　till　my
Christie　comes　back。　　I　abhor　dress；　I　abhor　expense；　I　loathe
everything　I　once　liked　too　well；　I　detest　every　folly　that　has
parted　us；　and　I　hate　myself　worst　of　all。　　Oh！　oh！　oh！　　Forgive　me
for　crying