novel notes-第33节

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　is　as　unfortunate　for　them　as　for　me。　　I　am　not　saying　it　boastfully。　Heaven　knows　it　is　an　added　draught　of　misery　in　my　cup；　but　it　is　a　fact　that　Eliza　is　literally　pining　away　for　me　as　Smith；　andas　Smith　I　find　it　impossible　to　be　even　civil　to　her；　while　Edith；　poor　girl；　has　been　foolish　enough　to　set　her　heart　on　me　as　Smythe；　and　as　Smythe　she　seems　to　me　but　the　skin　of　a　woman　stuffed　with　the　husks　of　learning；　and　rags　torn　from　the　corpse　of　wit。'

〃I　remained　absorbed　in　my　own　thoughts　for　some　time；　and　did　not　come　out　of　them　till　we　were　crossing　the　Minories。　　Then；　the　idea　suddenly　occurring　to　me；　I　said：

〃'Why　don't　you　get　a　new　girl　altogether？　　There　must　be　medium　girls　that　both　Smith　and　Smythe　could　like；　and　that　would　put　up　with　both　of　you。'

〃'No　more　girls　for　this　child；'　he　answered　'they're　more　trouble　than　they're　worth。　　Those　yer　want　yer　carn't　get；　and　those　yer　can　'ave；　yer　don't　want。'

〃I　started；　and　looked　up　at　him。　　He　was　slouching　along　with　his　hands　in　his　pockets；　and　a　vacuous　look　in　his　face。

〃A　sudden　repulsion　seized　me。　　'I　must　go　now；'　I　said；　stopping。　'I'd　no　idea　I　had　come　so　far。'

〃He　seemed　as　glad　to　be　rid　of　me　as　I　to　be　rid　of　him。　　'Oh；　must　yer；'　he　said；　holding　out　his　hand。　　'Well；　so　long。'

〃We　shook　hands　carelessly。　　He　disappeared　in　the　crowd；　and　that　is　the　last　I　have　ever　seen　of　him。〃


〃Is　that　a　true　story？〃　asked　Jephson。

〃Well；　I've　altered　the　names　and　dates；〃　said　MacShaughnassy；　〃but　the　main　facts　you　can　rely　upon。〃



CHAPTER　X



The　final　question　discussed　at　our　last　meeting　been：　　What　shall　our　hero　be？　　MacShaughnassy　had　suggested　an　author；　with　a　critic　for　the　villain。　　My　idea　was　a　stockbroker；　with　an　undercurrent　of　romance　in　his　nature。　　Said　Jephson；　who　has　a　practical　mind：　〃The　question　is　not　what　we　like；　but　what　the　female　novel…reader　likes。〃

〃That　is　so；〃　agreed　MacShaughnassy。　　〃I　propose　that　we　collect　feminine　opinion　upon　this　point。　　I　will　write　to　my　aunt　and　obtain　from　her　the　old　lady's　view。　　You；〃　he　said；　turning　to　me；　〃can　put　the　case　to　your　wife；　and　get　the　young　lady's　ideal。　　Let　Brown　write　to　his　sister　at　Newnham；　and　find　out　whom　the　intellectual　maiden　favours；　while　Jephson　can　learn　from　Miss　Medbury　what　is　most　attractive　to　the　common…sensed　girl。〃

This　plan　we　had　adopted；　and　the　result　was　now　under　consideration。　　MacShaughnassy　opened　the　proceedings　by　reading　his　aunt's　letter。　　Wrote　the　old　lady：


〃I　think；　if　I　were　you；　my　dear　boy；　I　should　choose　a　soldier。　You　know　your　poor　grandfather；　who　ran　away　to　America　with　that　WICKED　Mrs。　Featherly；　the　banker's　wife；　was　a　soldier；　and　so　was　your　poor　cousin　Robert；　who　lost　eight　thousand　pounds　at　Monte　Carlo。　　I　have　always　felt　singularly　drawn　towards　soldiers；　even　as　a　girl；　though　your　poor　dear　uncle　could　not　bear　them。　　You　will　find　many　allusions　to　soldiers　and　men　of　war　in　the　Old　Testament　（see　Jer。　xlviii。　14）。　　Of　course　one　does　not　like　to　think　of　their　fighting　and　killing　each　other；　but　then　they　do　not　seem　to　do　that　sort　of　thing　nowadays。〃


〃So　much　for　the　old　lady；〃　said　MacShaughnassy；　as　he　folded　up　the　letter　and　returned　it　to　his　pocket。　　〃What　says　culture？〃

Brown　produced　from　his　cigar…case　a　letter　addressed　in　a　bold　round　hand；　and　read　as　follows：


〃What　a　curious　coincidence！　　A　few　of　us　were　discussing　this　very　subject　last　night　in　Millicent　Hightopper's　rooms；　and　I　may　tell　you　at　once　that　our　decision　was　unanimous　in　favour　of　soldiers。　You　see；　my　dear　Selkirk；　in　human　nature　the　attraction　is　towards　the　opposite。　　To　a　milliner's　apprentice　a　poet　would　no　doubt　be　satisfying；　to　a　woman　of　intelligence　he　would　he　an　unutterable　bore。　　What　the　intellectual　woman　requires　in　man　is　not　something　to　argue　with；　but　something　to　look　at。　　To　an　empty…headed　woman　I　can　imagine　the　soldier　type　proving　vapid　and　uninteresting；　to　the　woman　of　mind　he　represents　her　ideal　of　mana　creature　strong；　handsome；　well…dressed；　and　not　too　clever。〃


〃That　gives　us　two　votes　for　the　army；〃　remarked　MacShaughnassy；　as　Brown　tore　his　sister's　letter　in　two；　and　threw　the　pieces　into　the　waste…paper　basket。　　〃What　says　the　common…sensed　girl？〃

〃First　catch　your　common…sensed　girl；〃　muttered　Jephson；　a　little　grumpily；　as　it　seemed　to　me。　　〃Where　do　you　propose　finding　her？〃

〃Well；〃　returned　MacShaughnassy；　〃I　looked　to　find　her　in　Miss　Medbury。〃

As　a　rule；　the　mention　of　Miss　Medbury's　name　brings　a　flush　of　joy　to　Jephson's　face；　but　now　his　features　wore　an　expression　distinctly　approaching　a　scowl。

〃Oh！〃　he　replied；　〃did　you？　　Well；　then；　the　common…sensed　girl　loves　the　military　also。〃

〃By　Jove！〃　exclaimed　MacShaughnassy；　〃what　an　extraordinary　thing。　What　reason　does　she　give？〃

〃That　there's　a　something　about　them；　and　that　they　dance　so　divinely；〃　answered　Jephson；　shortly。

〃Well；　you　do　surprise　me；〃　murmured　MacShaughnassy；　〃I　am　astonished。〃

Then　to　me　he　said：　　〃And　what　does　the　young　married　woman　say？　The　same？〃

〃Yes；〃　I　replied；　〃precisely　the　same。〃

〃Does　SHE　give　a　reason？〃　he　asked。

〃Oh　yes；〃　I　explained；　〃because　you　can't　help　liking　them。〃

There　was　silence　for　the　next　few　minutes；　while　we　smoked　and　thought。　　I　fancy　we　were　all　wishing　we　had　never　started　this　inquiry。

That　four　distinctly　different　types　of　educated　womanhood　should；　with　promptness　and　unanimity　quite　unfeminine；　have　selected　the　soldier　as　their　ideal；　was　certainly　discouraging　to　the　civilian　heart。　　Had　they　been　nursemaids　or　servant　girls；　I　should　have　expected　it。　　The　worship　of　Mars　by　the　Venus　of　the　white　cap　is　one　of　the　few　vital　religions　left　to　this　devoutless　age。　　A　year　or　two　ago　I　lodged　near　a　barracks；　and　the　sight　to　be　seen　round　its　huge　iron　gates　on　Sunday　afternoons　I　shall　never　forget。　　The　girls　began　to　assemble　about　twelve　o'clock。　　By　two；　at　which　hour　the　army；　with　its　hair　nicely　oiled　and　a　cane　in　its　hand；　was　ready　for　a　stroll；　there　would　be　some　four　or　five　hundred　of　them　waiting　in　a　line。　　Formerly　they　had　collected　in　a　wild　mob；　and　as　the　soldiers　were　let　out　to　them　two　at　a　time；　had　fought　for　them；　as　lions　for　early　Christians。　　This；　however；　had　led　to　scenes　of　such　disorder　and　brutality；　that　the　police　had　been　obliged　to　interfere；　and　the　girls　were　now　marshalled　in　QUEUE；　two　abreast；　and　compelled；　by　a　force　of　constables　specially　told　off　for　the　purpose；　to　keep　their　places　and　wait　their　proper　turn。

At　three　o'clock　the　sentry　on　duty　would　come　down　to　the　wicket　and　close　it。　　〃They're　all　gone；　my　dears；〃　he　would　shout　out　to　the　girls　still　left；　〃it's　no　good　your　stopping；　we've　no　more　for　you　to…day。〃

〃Oh；　not　one！〃　some　poor　child　would　murmur　pleadingly；　while　the　tears　welled　up　into　her　big　round　eyes；　〃not　even　a　little　one。　I've　been　waiting　SUCH　a　long　time。〃

〃Can't　help　that；〃　the　honest　fellow　would　reply；　gruffly；　but　not　unkindly；　turning　aside　to　hide　his　emotion；　〃you've　had　'em　all　between　you。　　We　don't　make　'em；　you　know：　　you　can't　have　'em　if　we　haven't　got　'em；　can　you？　　Come　earlier　next　time。〃

Then　he　would　hurry　away　to　escape　further　importunity；　and　the　police；　who　appeared　to　have　been　waiting　for　this　moment　with　gloating　anticipation；　would　jeeringly　hustle　away　the　weeping　remnant。　　〃Now　then；　pass　along；　you　girls；　pass　along；〃　they　would　say；　in　that　irritatingly　unsympathetic　voice　of　theirs。　　〃You've　had　your　chance。　　Can't　have　the　roadway　blocked　up　all　the　afternoon　with　this　'ere　demonstration　of　the　unloved。　　Pass　along。〃

In　connection　with　this　same　barracks；　our　char…woman　told　Amenda；　who　told　Ethelbertha；　who　told　me　a　story；　which　I　now　told　the　boys。

Into　a　certain　house；　in　a　certain　street　in　the　neighbourhood；　there　moved　one　day　a　certain　family。　　Their　servant　had　left　them　most　of　their　servants　did　at　the　end　of　a　weekand　the　day　after　the　moving…in　an　advertisement　for　a　domestic　was　drawn　up　and　sent　to　the　Chronicle。　　It　ran　thus：


WANTED；　GENERAL　SERVANT；　in　small　family　of　eleven。　　Wages；　6　pounds；　no　beer　money。　　Must　be　early　riser　and　hard　worker。　Washing　done　at　home。　　Must　be　good　cook；　and　not　object　to　window…　cleaning。　　Unitarian　preferred。Apply；　with　references；　to　A。　B。；　etc。


That　advertisement　was　sent　off　on　Wednesday　afternoon。　　At　seven　o'clock　on　Thursday　morning　the　whole　family　were　awakened　by　continuous　ringing　of　the　street…door　bell。　　The　husband；　looking　out　of　window；　was　surprised　to　see　a　crowd　of　about　fifty　girls　surrounding　the　house。　　He　slipped　on　his　dressing…gown　and　went　down　to　see　what　was　the　matter。　　The　moment　he　opened　the　door；　fifteen　of　them　charged　tumultuously　into　the　passage；　sweeping　him　completely　off　his　legs。　　Once　inside；　these　fifteen　faced　round；　fought　the　other　thirty…five　or　so　back　on　to　the　door…step；　and　slammed　the　door　in　their　faces。　　Then　they　picked　up　the　master　of　the　house；　and　asked　him　politely　to　conduct　them　to　A。　B。〃

At　first；　owing　to　the　clamour　of　the　mob　outside；　who　were　hammering　at　the　door　and　shouting　curses　through　the　keyhole；　he