novel notes-第29节

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〃'Good…night；　little　wife；'　he　cried　back；　cheerily；　'are　you　all　right？'

〃'Yes；　dear。　　Good…night。'

〃Her　little；　worn…out　frame　dropped　back　upon　the　bed；　and　the　next　thing　I　remember　is　snatching　up　a　pillow；　and　holding　it　tight…　pressed　against　Jeanie's　face　for　fear　the　sound　of　her　sobs　should　penetrate　into　the　next　room；　and　afterwards　we　both　got　out；　somehow；　by　the　other　door；　and　rushed　downstairs；　and　clung　to　each　other　in　the　back　kitchen。

〃How　we　two　women　managed　to　keep　up　the　deceit；　as；　for　three　whole　days；　we　did；　I　shall　never　myself　know。　　Jeanie　sat　in　the　room　where　her　dead　sister；　from　its　head　to　its　sticking…up　feet；　lay　outlined　under　the　white　sheet；　and　I　stayed　beside　the　living　man；　and　told　lies　and　acted　lies；　till　I　took　a　joy　in　them；　and　had　to　guard　against　the　danger　of　over…elaborating　them。

〃He　wondered　at　what　he　thought　my　'new　merry　mood；'　and　I　told　him　it　was　because　of　my　delight　that　his　wife　was　out　of　danger；　and　then　I　went　on　for　the　pure　devilment　of　the　thing；　and　told　him　that　a　week　ago；　when　we　had　let　him　think　his　wife　was　growing　stronger；　we　had　been　deceiving　him；　that；　as　a　matter　of　fact；　she　was　at　that　time　in　great　peril；　and　I　had　been　in　hourly　alarm　concerning　her；　but　that　now　the　strain　was　over；　and　she　was　safe；　and　I　dropped　down　by　the　foot　of　the　bed；　and　burst　into　a　fit　of　laughter；　and　had　to　clutch　hold　of　the　bedstead　to　keep　myself　from　rolling　on　the　floor。

〃He　had　started　up　in　bed　with　a　wild　white　face　when　Jeanie　had　first　answered　him　from　the　other　room；　though　the　sisters'　voices　had　been　so　uncannily　alike　that　I　had　never　been　able　to　distinguish　one　from　the　other　at　any　time。　　I　told　him　the　slight　change　was　the　result　of　the　fever；　that　his　own　voice　also　was　changed　a　little；　and　that　such　was　always　the　case　with　a　person　recovering　from　a　long　illness。　　To　guide　his　thoughts　away　from　the　real　clue；　I　told　him　Jeanie　had　broken　down　with　the　long　work；　and　that；　the　need　for　her　being　past；　I　had　packed　her　off　into　the　country　for　a　short　rest。　　That　afternoon　we　concocted　a　letter　to　him；　and　I　watched　Jeanie's　eyes　with　a　towel　in　my　hand　while　she　wrote　it；　so　that　no　tears　should　fall　on　it；　and　that　night　she　travelled　twenty　miles　down　the　Great　Western　line　to　post　it；　returning　by　the　next　up…train。

〃No　suspicion　of　the　truth　ever　occurred　to　him；　and　the　doctor　helped　us　out　with　our　deception；　yet　his　pulse；　which　day　by　day　had　been　getting　stronger；　now　beat　feebler　every　hour。　　In　that　part　of　the　country　where　I　was　born　and　grew　up；　the　folks　say　that　wherever　the　dead　lie；　there　round　about　them；　whether　the　time　be　summer　or　winter；　the　air　grows　cold　and　colder；　and　that　no　fire；　though　you　pile　the　logs　half…way　up　the　chimney；　will　ever　make　it　warm。　　A　few　months'　hospital　training　generally　cures　one　of　all　fanciful　notions　about　death；　but　this　idea　I　have　never　been　able　to　get　rid　of。　　My　thermometer　may　show　me　sixty；　and　I　may　try　to　believe　that　the　temperature　IS　sixty；　but　if　the　dead　are　beside　me　I　feel　cold　to　the　marrow　of　my　bones。　　I　could　SEE　the　chill　from　the　dead　room　crawling　underneath　the　door；　and　creeping　up　about　his　bed；　and　reaching　out　its　hand　to　touch　his　heart。

〃Jeanie　and　I　redoubled　our　efforts；　for　it　seemed　to　us　as　if　Death　were　waiting　just　outside　in　the　passage；　watching　with　his　eye　at　the　keyhole　for　either　of　us　to　make　a　blunder　and　let　the　truth　slip　out。　　I　hardly　ever　left　his　side　except　now　and　again　to　go　into　that　next　room；　and　poke　an　imaginary　fire；　and　say　a　few　chaffing　words　to　an　imaginary　living　woman　on　the　bed　where　the　dead　one　lay；　and　Jeanie　sat　close　to　the　corpse；　and　called　out　saucy　messages　to　him；　or　reassuring　answers　to　his　anxious　questions。

〃At　times；　knowing　that　if　we　stopped　another　moment　in　these　rooms　we　should　scream；　we　would　steal　softly　out　and　rush　downstairs；　and；　shutting　ourselves　out　of　hearing　in　a　cellar　underneath　the　yard；　laugh　till　we　reeled　against　the　dirty　walls。　　I　think　we　were　both　getting　a　little　mad。

〃One　dayit　was　the　third　of　that　nightmare　life；　so　I　learned　afterwards；　though　for　all　I　could　have　told　then　it　might　have　been　the　three　hundredth；　for　Time　seemed　to　have　fled　from　that　house　as　from　a　dream；　so　that　all　things　were　tangledI　made　a　slip　that　came　near　to　ending　the　matter；　then　and　there。

〃I　had　gone　into　that　other　room。　　Jeanie　had　left　her　post　for　a　moment；　and　the　place　was　empty。

〃I　did　not　think　what　I　was　doing。　　I　had　not　closed　my　eyes　that　I　can　remember　since　the　wife　had　died；　and　my　brain　and　my　senses　were　losing　their　hold　of　one　another。　　I　went　through　my　usual　performance　of　talking　loudly　to　the　thing　underneath　the　white　sheet；　and　noisily　patting　the　pillows　and　rattling　the　bottles　on　the　table。

〃On　my　return；　he　asked　me　how　she　was；　and　I　answered；　half　in　a　dream；　'Oh；　bonny；　she's　trying　to　read　a　little；'　and　he　raised　himself　on　his　elbow　and　called　out　to　her；　and　for　answer　there　came　back　silencenot　the　silence　that　IS　silence；　but　the　silence　that　is　as　a　voice。　　I　do　not　know　if　you　understand　what　I　mean　by　that。　　If　you　had　lived　among　the　dead　as　long　as　I　have；　you　would　know。

〃I　darted　to　the　door　and　pretended　to　look　in。　　'She's　fallen　asleep；'　I　whispered；　closing　it；　and　he　said　nothing；　but　his　eyes　looked　queerly　at　me。

〃That　night；　Jeanie　and　I　stood　in　the　hall　talking。　　He　had　fallen　to　sleep　early；　and　I　had　locked　the　door　between　the　two　rooms；　and　put　the　key　in　my　pocket；　and　had　stolen　down　to　tell　her　what　had　happened；　and　to　consult　with　her。

〃'What　can　we　do！　　God　help　us；　what　can　we　do！'　was　all　that　Jeanie　could　say。　　We　had　thought　that　in　a　day　or　two　he　would　be　stronger；　and　that　the　truth　might　be　broken　to　him。　　But　instead　of　that　he　had　grown　so　weak；　that　to　excite　his　suspicions　now　by　moving　him　or　her　would　be　to　kill　him。

〃We　stood　looking　blankly　in　each　other's　faces；　wondering　how　the　problem　could　be　solved；　and　while　we　did　so　the　problem　solved　itself。

〃The　one　woman…servant　had　gone　out；　and　the　house　was　very　silent　so　silent　that　I　could　hear　the　ticking　of　Jeanie's　watch　inside　her　dress。　　Suddenly；　into　the　stillness　there　came　a　sound。　　It　was　not　a　cry。　　It　came　from　no　human　voice。　　I　have　heard　the　voice　of　human　pain　till　I　know　its　every　note；　and　have　grown　careless　to　it；　but　I　have　prayed　God　on　my　knees　that　I　may　never　hear　that　sound　again；　for　it　was　the　sob　of　a　soul。

〃It　wailed　through　the　quiet　house　and　passed　away；　and　neither　of　us　stirred。

〃At　length；　with　the　return　of　the　blood　to　our　veins；　we　went　upstairs　together。　　He　had　crept　from　his　own　room　along　the　passage　into　hers。　　He　had　not　had　strength　enough　to　pull　the　sheet　off；　though　he　had　tried。　　He　lay　across　the　bed　with　one　hand　grasping　hers。〃


My　nurse　sat　for　a　while　without　speaking；　a　somewhat　unusual　thing　for　her　to　do。

〃You　ought　to　write　your　experiences；〃　I　said。

〃Ah！〃　she　said；　giving　the　fire　a　contemplative　poke；　〃if　you'd　seen　as　much　sorrow　in　the　world　as　I　have；　you　wouldn't　want　to　write　a　sad　book。〃

〃I　think；〃　she　added；　after　a　long　pause；　with　the　poker　still　in　her　hand；　〃it　can　only　be　the　people　who　have　never　KNOWN　suffering　who　can　care　to　read　of　it。　　If　I　could　write　a　book；　I　should　write　a　merry　booka　book　that　would　make　people　laugh。〃



CHAPTER　IX



The　discussion　arose　in　this　way。　　I　had　proposed　a　match　between　our　villain　and　the　daughter　of　the　local　chemist；　a　singularly　noble　and　pure…minded　girl；　the　humble　but　worthy　friend　of　the　heroine。

Brown　had　refused　his　consent　on　the　ground　of　improbability。　　〃What　in　thunder　would　induce　him　to　marry　HER？〃　he　asked。

〃Love！〃　I　replied；　〃love；　that　burns　as　brightly　in　the　meanest　villain's　breast　as　in　the　proud　heart　of　the　good　young　man。〃

〃Are　you　trying　to　be　light　and　amusing；〃　returned　Brown；　severely；　〃or　are　you　supposed　to　be　discussing　the　matter　seriously？　　What　attraction　could　such　a　girl　have　for　such　a　man　as　Reuben　Neil？〃

〃Every　attraction；〃　I　retorted。　　〃She　is　the　exact　moral　contrast　to　himself。　　She　is　beautiful　（if　she's　not　beautiful　enough；　we　can　touch　her　up　a　bit）；　and；　when　the　father　dies；　there　will　be　the　shop。〃

〃Besides；〃　I　added；　〃it　will　make　the　thing　seem　more　natural　if　everybody　wonders　what　on　earth　could　have　been　the　reason　for　their　marrying　each　other。〃

Brown　wasted　no　further　words　on　me；　but　turned　to　MacShaughnassy。

〃Can　YOU　imagine　our　friend　Reuben　seized　with　a　burning　desire　to　marry　Mary　Holme？〃　he　asked；　with　a　smile。

〃Of　course　I　can；〃　said　MacShaughnassy；　〃I　can　imagine　anything；　and　believe　anything　of　anybody。　　It　is　only　in　novels　that　people　act　reasonably　and　in　accordance　with　what　might　be　expected　of　them。　　I　knew　an　old　sea…captain　who　used　to　read　the　Young　Ladies'　Journal　in　bed；　and　cry　over　it。　　I　knew　a　bookmaker　who　always　carried　Browning's　poems　about　with　him　in　his　pocket　to　study　in　the　train。　I　have　known　a　Harley　Street　doctor　to　develop　at　forty…eight　a　sudden　and　overmastering　passion　for　switchbacks；　and　to　spend　every　hour　he　could　spare　from　his　practice　at　one　or　ot