novel notes-第28节

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ority；　let　her。　　All　night　long　he　tossed　and　raved；　the　one　name　on　his　lips　being　ever　LouiseLouiseand　all　night　long　that　woman　sat　there　in　the　shadow；　never　moving；　never　speaking；　with　a　set　smile　on　her　lips　that　made　me　long　to　take　her　by　the　shoulders　and　shake　her。

〃At　one　time　he　imagined　himself　back　in　his　courting　days；　and　pleaded；　'Say　you　love　me；　Louise。　　I　know　you　do。　　I　can　read　it　in　your　eyes。　　What's　the　use　of　our　pretending？　　We　KNOW　each　other。　Put　your　white　arms　about　me。　　Let　me　feel　your　breath　upon　my　neck。　Ah！　　I　knew　it；　my　darling；　my　love！'

〃The　whole　house　was　deadly　still；　and　I　could　hear　every　word　of　his　troubled　ravings。　　I　almost　felt　as　if　I　had　no　right　to　be　there；　listening　to　them；　but　my　duty　held　me。　　Later　on；　he　fancied　himself　planning　a　holiday　with　her；　so　I　concluded。　　'I　shall　start　on　Monday　evening；'　he　was　saying；　and　you　can　join　me　in　Dublin　at　Jackson's　Hotel　on　the　Wednesday；　and　we'll　go　straight　on。'

〃His　voice　grew　a　little　faint；　and　his　wife　moved　forward　on　her　chair；　and　bent　her　head　closer　to　his　lips。

〃'No；　no；'　he　continued；　after　a　pause；　'there's　no　danger　whatever。　It's　a　lonely　little　place；　right　in　the　heart　of　the　Galway　MountainsO'Mullen's　Half…way　House　they　call　itfive　miles　from　Ballynahinch。　　We　shan't　meet　a　soul　there。　　We'll　have　three　weeks　of　heaven　all　to　ourselves；　my　goddess；　my　Mrs。　Maddox　from　Boston　don't　forget　the　name。'

〃He　laughed　in　his　delirium；　and　the　woman；　sitting　by　his　side；　laughed　also；　and　then　the　truth　flashed　across　me。

〃I　ran　up　to　her　and　caught　her　by　the　arm。　　'Your　name's　not　Louise；'　I　said；　looking　straight　at　her。　　It　was　an　impertinent　interference；　but　I　felt　excited；　and　acted　on　impulse。

〃'No；'　she　replied；　very　quietly；　'but　it's　the　name　of　a　very　dear　school　friend　of　mine。　　I've　got　the　clue　to…night　that　I've　been　waiting　two　years　to　get。　　Good…night；　nurse；　thanks　for　fetching　me。'

〃She　rose　and　went　out；　and　I　listened　to　her　footsteps　going　down　the　stairs；　and　then　drew　up　the　blind　and　let　in　the　dawn。

〃I've　never　told　that　incident　to　any　one　until　this　evening；〃　my　nurse　concluded；　as　she　took　the　empty　port　wine　glass　out　of　my　hand；　and　stirred　the　fire。　　〃A　nurse　wouldn't　get　many　engagements　if　she　had　the　reputation　for　making　blunders　of　that　sort。〃

Another　story　that　she　told　me　showed　married　life　more　lovelit；　but　then；　as　she　added；　with　that　cynical　twinkle　which　glinted　so　oddly　from　her　gentle；　demure　eyes；　this　couple　had　only　very　recently　been　wedhad；　in　fact；　only　just　returned　from　their　honeymoon。

They　had　been　travelling　on　the　Continent；　and　there　had　both　contracted　typhoid　fever；　which　showed　itself　immediately　on　their　home…coming。

〃I　was　called　in　to　them　on　the　very　day　of　their　arrival；〃　she　said；　〃the　husband　was　the　first　to　take　to　his　bed；　and　the　wife　followed　suit　twelve　hours　afterwards。　　We　placed　them　in　adjoining　rooms；　and；　as　often　as　was　possible；　we　left　the　door　ajar　so　that　they　could　call　out　to　one　another。

〃Poor　things！　　They　were　little　else　than　boy　and　girl；　and　they　worried　more　about　each　other　than　they　thought　about　themselves。　The　wife's　only　trouble　was　that　she　wouldn't　be　able　to　do　anything　for　'poor　Jack。'　　'Oh；　nurse；　you　will　be　good　to　him；　won't　you？'　she　would　cry；　with　her　big　childish　eyes　full　of　tears；　and　the　moment　I　went　in　to　him　it　would　be：　　'Oh；　don't　trouble　about　me；　nurse；　I'm　all　right。　　Just　look　after　the　wifie；　will　you？'

〃I　had　a　hard　time　between　the　two　of　them；　for；　with　the　help　of　her　sister；　I　was　nursing　them　both。　　It　was　an　unprofessional　thing　to　do；　but　I　could　see　they　were　not　well　off；　and　I　assured　the　doctor　that　I　could　manage。　　To　me　it　was　worth　while　going　through　the　double　work　just　to　breathe　the　atmosphere　of　unselfishness　that　sweetened　those　two　sick…rooms。　　The　average　invalid　is　not　the　patient　sufferer　people　imagine。　　It　is　a　fretful；　querulous；　self…　pitying　little　world　that　we　live　in　as　a　rule；　and　that　we　grow　hard　in。　　It　gave　me　a　new　heart；　nursing　these　young　people。

〃The　man　pulled　through；　and　began　steadily　to　recover；　but　the　wife　was　a　wee　slip　of　a　girl；　and　her　strengthwhat　there　was　of　it　ebbed　day　by　day。　　As　he　got　stronger　he　would　call　out　more　and　more　cheerfully　to　her　through　the　open　door；　and　ask　her　how　she　was　getting　on；　and　she　would　struggle　to　call　back　laughing　answers。　　It　had　been　a　mistake　to　put　them　next　to　each　other；　and　I　blamed　myself　for　having　done　so；　but　it　was　too　late　to　change　then。　　All　we　could　do　was　to　beg　her　not　to　exhaust　herself；　and　to　let　us；　when　he　called　out；　tell　him　she　was　asleep。　　But　the　thought　of　not　answering　him　or　calling　to　him　made　her　so　wretched　that　it　seemed　safer　to　let　her　have　her　way。

〃Her　one　anxiety　was　that　he　should　not　know　how　weak　she　was。　　'It　will　worry　him　so；'　she　would　say；　'he　is　such　an　old　fidget　over　me。　　And　I　AM　getting　stronger；　slowly；　ain't　I；　nurse？'

〃One　morning　he　called　out　to　her；　as　usual；　asking　her　how　she　was；　and　she　answered；　though　she　had　to　wait　for　a　few　seconds　to　gather　strength　to　do　so。　　He　seemed　to　detect　the　effort；　for　he　called　back　anxiously；　'Are　you　SURE　you're　all　right；　dear？'

〃'Yes；'　she　replied；　'getting　on　famously。　　Why？'

〃'I　thought　your　voice　sounded　a　little　weak；　dear；'　he　answered；　'don't　call　out　if　it　tries　you。'

〃Then　for　the　first　time　she　began　to　worry　about　herselfnot　for　her　own　sake；　but　because　of　him。

〃'Do　you　think　I　AM　getting　weaker；　nurse？'　she　asked　me；　fixing　her　great　eyes　on　me　with　a　frightened　look。

〃'You're　making　yourself　weak　by　calling　out；'　I　answered；　a　little　sharply。　　'I　shall　have　to　keep　that　door　shut。'

〃'Oh；　don't　tell　him'that　was　all　her　thought'don't　let　him　know　it。　　Tell　him　I'm　strong；　won't　you；　nurse？　　It　will　kill　him　if　he　thinks　I'm　not　getting　well。'

〃I　was　glad　when　her　sister　came　up；　and　I　could　get　out　of　the　room；　for　you're　not　much　good　at　nursing　when　you　feel；　as　I　felt　then；　as　though　you　had　swallowed　a　tablespoon　and　it　was　sticking　in　your　throat。

〃Later　on；　when　I　went　in　to　him；　he　drew　me　to　the　bedside；　and　whispered　me　to　tell　him　truly　how　she　was。　　If　you　are　telling　a　lie　at　all；　you　may　just　as　well　make　it　a　good　one；　so　I　told　him　she　was　really　wonderfully　well；　only　a　little　exhausted　after　the　illness；　as　was　natural；　and　that　I　expected　to　have　her　up　before　him。

〃Poor　lad！　that　lie　did　him　more　good　than　a　week's　doctoring　and　nursing；　and　next　morning　he　called　out　more　cheerily　than　ever　to　her；　and　offered　to　bet　her　a　new　bonnet　against　a　new　hat　that　he　would　race　her；　and　be　up　first。

〃She　laughed　back　quite　merrily　（I　was　in　his　room　at　the　time）。　'All　right；'　she　said；　'you'll　lose。　　I　shall　be　well　first；　and　I　shall　come　and　visit　you。'

〃Her　laugh　was　so　bright；　and　her　voice　sounded　so　much　stronger；　that　I　really　began　to　think　she　had　taken　a　turn　for　the　better；　so　that　when　on　going　in　to　her　I　found　her　pillow　wet　with　tears；　I　could　not　understand　it。

〃'Why；　we　were　so　cheerful　just　a　minute　ago；'　I　said；　'what's　the　matter？'

〃'Oh；　poor　Jack！'　she　moaned；　as　her　little；　wasted　fingers　opened　and　closed　upon　the　counterpane。　　'Poor　Jack；　it　will　break　his　heart。'

〃It　was　no　good　my　saying　anything。　　There　comes　a　moment　when　something　tells　your　patient　all　that　is　to　be　known　about　the　case；　and　the　doctor　and　the　nurse　can　keep　their　hopeful　assurances　for　where　they　will　be　of　more　use。　　The　only　thing　that　would　have　brought　comfort　to　her　then　would　have　been　to　convince　her　that　he　would　soon　forget　her　and　be　happy　without　her。　　I　thought　it　at　the　time；　and　I　tried　to　say　something　of　the　kind　to　her；　but　I　couldn't　get　it　out；　and　she　wouldn't　have　believed　me　if　I　had。

〃So　all　I　could　do　was　to　go　back　to　the　other　room；　and　tell　him　that　I　wanted　her　to　go　to　sleep；　and　that　he　must　not　call　out　to　her　until　I　told　him。

〃She　lay　very　still　all　day。　　The　doctor　came　at　his　usual　hour　and　looked　at　her。　　He　patted　her　hand；　and　just　glanced　at　the　untouched　food　beside　her。

〃'Yes；'　he　said；　quietly。　　'I　shouldn't　worry　her；　nurse。'　　And　I　understood。

〃Towards　evening　she　opened　her　eyes；　and　beckoned　to　her　sister；　who　was　standing　by　the　bedside；　to　bend　down。

〃'Jeanie；'　she　whispered；　'do　you　think　it　wrong　to　deceive　any　one　when　it's　for　their　own　good？'

〃'I　don't　know；'　said　the　girl；　in　a　dry　voice；　'I　shouldn't　think　so。　　Why　do　you　ask？'

〃'Jeanie；　your　voice　was　always　very　much　like　minedo　you　remember；　they　used　to　mistake　us　at　home。　　Jeanie；　call　out　for　me…　…just　tilltill　he's　a　bit　better；　promise　me。'

〃They　had　loved　each　other；　those　two；　more　than　is　common　among　sisters。　　Jeanie　could　not　answer；　but　she　pressed　her　sister　closer　in　her　arms；　and　the　other　was　satisfied。

〃Then；　drawing　all　her　little　stock　of　life　together　for　one　final　effort；　the　child　raised　herself　in　her　sister's　arms。

〃'Good…night；　Jack；'　she　called　out；　loud　and　clear　enough　to　be　heard　through　the　closed　door。

〃'Good…night；　little　wife；'　he　cried　back；　cheerily；　'are　you　all　right？'

〃'Yes；　dear。　　Good…night。'

〃Her　little；　worn…out