novel notes-第11节

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〃What　does　a　man　do　when　he　finds　himself　growing　old；　and　feels　that　it　is　time　for　him　to　think　seriously　about　securing　his　position　in　the　next　world？　　Why；　he　becomes　suddenly　good　to　the　poor。　　If　the　poor　were　not　there　for　him　to　be　good　to；　what　could　he　do？　　He　would　be　unable　to　reform　at　all。　　It's　a　great　comfort　to　think　that　the　poor　will　always　be　with　us。　　They　are　the　ladder　by　which　we　climb　into　heaven。〃

There　was　silence　for　a　few　moments；　while　MacShaughnassy　puffed　away　vigorously；　and　almost　savagely；　at　his　pipe；　and　then　Brown　said：　　〃I　can　tell　you　rather　a　quaint　incident；　bearing　very　aptly　on　the　subject。　　A　cousin　of　mine　was　a　land…agent　in　a　small　country　town；　and　among　the　houses　on　his　list　was　a　fine　old　mansion　that　had　remained　vacant　for　many　years。　　He　had　despaired　of　ever　selling　it；　when　one　day　an　elderly　lady；　very　richly　dressed；　drove　up　to　the　office　and　made　inquiries　about　it。　　She　said　she　had　come　across　it　accidentally　while　travelling　through　that　part　of　the　country　the　previous　autumn；　and　had　been　much　struck　by　its　beauty　and　picturesqueness。　　She　added　she　was　looking　out　for　some　quiet　spot　where　she　could　settle　down　and　peacefully　pass　the　remainder　of　her　days；　and　thought　this　place　might　possibly　prove　to　be　the　very　thing　for　her。

〃My　cousin；　delighted　with　the　chance　of　a　purchaser；　at　once　drove　her　across　to　the　estate；　which　was　about　eight　miles　distant　from　the　town；　and　they　went　over　it　together。　　My　cousin　waxed　eloquent　upon　the　subject　of　its　advantages。　　He　dwelt　upon　its　quiet　and　seclusion；　its　proximitybut　not　too　close　proximityto　the　church；　its　convenient　distance　from　the　village。

〃Everything　pointed　to　a　satisfactory　conclusion　of　the　business。　The　lady　was　charmed　with　the　situation　and　the　surroundings；　and　delighted　with　the　house　and　grounds。　　She　considered　the　price　moderate。

〃'And　now；　Mr。　Brown；'　said　she；　as　they　stood　by　the　lodge　gate；　'tell　me；　what　class　of　poor　have　you　got　round　about？'

〃'Poor？'　answered　my　cousin；　'there　are　no　poor。'

〃'No　poor！'　exclaimed　the　lady。　　'No　poor　people　in　the　village；　or　anywhere　near？'

〃'You　won't　find　a　poor　person　within　five　miles　of　the　estate；'　he　replied　proudly。　　'You　see；　my　dear　madam；　this　is　a　thinly　populated　and　exceedingly　prosperous　county：　　this　particular　district　especially　so。　　There　is　not　a　family　in　it　that　is　not；　comparatively　speaking；　well…to…do。'

〃'I'm　sorry　to　hear　that；'　said　the　lady；　in　a　tone　of　disappointment。　　'The　place　would　have　suited　me　so　admirably　but　for　that。'

〃'But　surely；　madam；'　cried　my　cousin；　to　whom　a　demand　for　poor　persons　was　an　entirely　new　idea；　'you　don't　mean　to　say　that　you　WANT　poor　people！　　Why；　we've　always　considered　it　one　of　the　chief　attractions　of　the　propertynothing　to　shock　the　eye　or　wound　the　susceptibilities　of　the　most　tender…hearted　occupant。'

〃'My　dear　Mr。　Brown；'　replied　the　lady；　'I　will　be　perfectly　frank　with　you。　　I　am　becoming　an　old　woman；　and　my　past　life　has　not；　perhaps；　been　altogether　too　well　spent。　　It　is　my　desire　to　atone　for　theerfollies　of　my　youth　by　an　old　age　of　well…doing；　and　to　that　end　it　is　essential　that　I　should　be　surrounded　by　a　certain　number　of　deserving　poor。　　I　had　hoped　to　find　in　this　charming　neighbourhood　of　yours　the　customary　proportion　of　poverty　and　misery；　in　which　case　I　should　have　taken　the　house　without　hesitation。　　As　it　is；　I　must　seek　elsewhere。'

〃My　cousin　was　perplexed；　and　sad。　　'There　are　plenty　of　poor　people　in　the　town；'　he　said；　'many　of　them　most　interesting　cases；　and　you　could　have　the　entire　care　of　them　all。　　There'd　be　no　opposition　whatever；　I'm　positive。'

〃'Thank　you；'　replied　the　lady；　'but　I　really　couldn't　go　as　far　as　the　town。　　They　must　be　within　easy　driving　distance　or　they　are　no　good。'

〃My　cousin　cudgelled　his　brains　again。　　He　did　not　intend　to　let　a　purchaser　slip　through　his　fingers　if　he　could　help　it。　　At　last　a　bright　thought　flashed　into　his　mind。　　'I'll　tell　you　what　we　could　do；'　he　said。　　'There's　a　piece　of　waste　land　the　other　end　of　the　village　that　we've　never　been　able　to　do　much　with；　in　consequence　of　its　being　so　swampy。　　If　you　liked；　we　could　run　you　up　a　dozen　cottages　on　that；　cheapit　would　be　all　the　better　their　being　a　bit　ramshackle　and　unhealthyand　get　some　poor　people　for　you；　and　put　into　them。'

〃The　lady　reflected　upon　the　idea；　and　it　struck　her　as　a　good　one。

〃'You　see；'　continued　my　cousin；　pushing　his　advantage；　'by　adopting　this　method　you　would　be　able　to　select　your　own　poor。　　We　would　get　you　some　nice；　clean；　grateful　poor；　and　make　the　thing　pleasant　for　you。'

〃It　ended　in　the　lady's　accepting　my　cousin's　offer；　and　giving　him　a　list　of　the　poor　people　she　would　like　to　have。　　She　selected　one　bedridden　old　woman　（Church　of　England　preferred）；　one　paralytic　old　man；　one　blind　girl　who　would　want　to　be　read　aloud　to；　one　poor　atheist；　willing　to　be　converted；　two　cripples；　one　drunken　father　who　would　consent　to　be　talked　to　seriously；　one　disagreeable　old　fellow；　needing　much　patience；　two　large　families；　and　four　ordinary　assorted　couples。

〃My　cousin　experienced　some　difficulty　in　securing　the　drunken　father。　　Most　of　the　drunken　fathers　he　interviewed　upon　the　subject　had　a　rooted　objection　to　being　talked　to　at　all。　　After　a　long　search；　however；　he　discovered　a　mild　little　man；　who；　upon　the　lady's　requirements　and　charitable　intentions　being　explained　to　him；　undertook　to　qualify　himself　for　the　vacancy　by　getting　intoxicated　at　least　once　a　week。　　He　said　he　could　not　promise　more　than　once　a　week　at　first；　he　unfortunately　possessing　a　strong　natural　distaste　for　all　alcoholic　liquors；　which　it　would　be　necessary　for　him　to　overcome。　　As　he　got　more　used　to　them；　he　would　do　better。

〃Over　the　disagreeable　old　man；　my　cousin　also　had　trouble。　　It　was　hard　to　hit　the　right　degree　of　disagreeableness。　　Some　of　them　were　so　very　unpleasant。　　He　eventually　made　choice　of　a　decayed　cab…　driver　with　advanced　Radical　opinions；　who　insisted　on　a　three　years'　contract。

〃The　plan　worked　exceedingly　well；　and　does　so；　my　cousin　tells　me；　to　this　day。　　The　drunken　father　has　completely　conquered　his　dislike　to　strong　drink。　　He　has　not　been　sober　now　for　over　three　weeks；　and　has　lately　taken　to　knocking　his　wife　about。　　The　disagreeable　fellow　is　most　conscientious　in　fulfilling　his　part　of　the　bargain；　and　makes　himself　a　perfect　curse　to　the　whole　village。　The　others　have　dropped　into　their　respective　positions　and　are　working　well。　　The　lady　visits　them　all　every　afternoon；　and　is　most　charitable。　　They　call　her　Lady　Bountiful；　and　everybody　blesses　her。〃

Brown　rose　as　he　finished　speaking；　and　mixed　himself　a　glass　of　whisky　and　water　with　the　self…satisfied　air　of　a　benevolent　man　about　to　reward　somebody　for　having　done　a　good　deed；　and　MacShaughnassy　lifted　up　his　voice　and　talked。

〃I　know　a　story　bearing　on　the　subject；　too；〃　he　said。　　〃It　happened　in　a　tiny　Yorkshire　villagea　peaceful；　respectable　spot；　where　folks　found　life　a　bit　slow。　　One　day；　however；　a　new　curate　arrived；　and　that　woke　things　up　considerably。　　He　was　a　nice　young　man；　and；　having　a　large　private　income　of　his　own；　was　altogether　a　most　desirable　catch。　　Every　unmarried　female　in　the　place　went　for　him　with　one　accord。

〃But　ordinary　feminine　blandishments　appeared　to　have　no　effect　upon　him。　　He　was　a　seriously　inclined　young　man；　and　once；　in　the　course　of　a　casual　conversation　upon　the　subject　of　love；　he　was　heard　to　say　that　he　himself　should　never　be　attracted　by　mere　beauty　and　charm。　　What　would　appeal　to　him；　he　said；　would　be　a　woman's　goodnessher　charity　and　kindliness　to　the　poor。

〃Well；　that　set　the　petticoats　all　thinking。　　They　saw　that　in　studying　fashion　plates　and　practising　expressions　they　had　been　going　upon　the　wrong　tack。　　The　card　for　them　to　play　was　'the　poor。'　　But　here　a　serious　difficulty　arose。　　There　was　only　one　poor　person　in　the　whole　parish；　a　cantankerous　old　fellow　who　lived　in　a　tumble…down　cottage　at　the　back　of　the　church；　and　fifteen　able…bodied　women　（eleven　girls；　three　old　maids；　and　a　widow）　wanted　to　be　'good'　to　him。

〃Miss　Simmonds；　one　of　the　old　maids；　got　hold　of　him　first；　and　commenced　feeding　him　twice　a　day　with　beef…tea；　and　then　the　widow　boarded　him　with　port　wine　and　oysters。　　Later　in　the　week　others　of　the　party　drifted　in　upon　him；　and　wanted　to　cram　him　with　jelly　and　chickens。

The　old　man　couldn't　understand　it。　　He　was　accustomed　to　a　small　sack　of　coals　now　and　then；　accompanied　by　a　long　lecture　on　his　sins；　and　an　occasional　bottle　of　dandelion　tea。　　This　sudden　spurt　on　the　part　of　Providence　puzzled　him。　　He　said　nothing；　however；　but　continued　to　take　in　as　much　of　everything　as　he　could　hold。　　At　the　end　of　a　month　he　was　too　fat　to　get　through　his　own　back　door。

〃The　competition　among　the　women…folk　grew　keener　every　day；　and　at　last　the　old　man　began　to　give　himself　airs；　and　to　make　the　place　hard　for　them。　　He　made　them　clean　his　cottage　out；　and　cook　his　meals；　and　when　he　was　tired　of　having　them　about　the　house；　he　set　them　to　work　in　the　garden。

〃They　grumbled　a　good　deal；　and　there　was