end of the tether-第19节
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A pilot…fisha pilota 。 。 。 But if not superior
knowledge then 。 。 。
Sterne's discovery was made。 It was repugnant to his
imagination； shocking to his ideas of honesty； shocking
to his conception of mankind。 This enormity affected
one's outlook on what was possible in this world： it was
as if for instance the sun had turned blue； throwing a
new and sinister light on men and nature。 Really in
the first moment he had felt sickish； as though he had
got a blow below the belt： for a second the very color
of the sea seemed changedappeared queer to his wan…
dering eye； and he had a passing； unsteady sensation in
all his limbs as though the earth had started turning
the other way。
A very natural incredulity succeeding this sense of
upheaval brought a measure of relief。 He had gasped；
it was over。 But afterwards during all that day sudden
paroxysms of wonder would come over him in the midst
of his occupations。 He would stop and shake his head。
The revolt of his incredulity had passed away almost as
quick as the first emotion of discovery； and for the next
twenty…four hours he had no sleep。 That would never
do。 At meal…times （he took the foot of the table set
up for the white men on the bridge） he could not help
losing himself in a fascinated contemplation of Captain
Whalley opposite。 He watched the deliberate upward
movements of the arm； the old man put his food to his
lips as though he never expected to find any taste in
his daily bread； as though he did not know anything
about it。 He fed himself like a somnambulist。 〃It's an
awful sight；〃 thought Sterne； and he watched the long
period of mournful； silent immobility； with a big brown
hand lying loosely closed by the side of the plate； till
he noticed the two engineers to the right and left look…
ing at him in astonishment。 He would close his mouth
in a hurry then； and lowering his eyes； wink rapidly at
his plate。 It was awful to see the old chap sitting
there； it was even awful to think that with three words
he could blow him up sky…high。 All he had to do was
to raise his voice and pronounce a single short sentence；
and yet that simple act seemed as impossible to attempt
as moving the sun out of its place in the sky。 The old
chap could eat in his terrific mechanical way； but Sterne；
from mental excitement； could notnot that evening；
at any rate。
He had had ample time since to get accustomed to the
strain of the meal…hours。 He would never have believed
it。 But then use is everything； only the very potency
of his success prevented anything resembling elation。
He felt like a man who； in his legitimate search for a
loaded gun to help him on his way through the world；
chances to come upon a torpedoupon a live torpedo
with a shattering charge in its head and a pressure of
many atmospheres in its tail。 It is the sort of weapon
to make its possessor careworn and nervous。 He had
no mind to be blown up himself； and he could not get
rid of the notion that the explosion was bound to damage
him too in some way。
This vague apprehension had restrained him at first。
He was able now to eat and sleep with that fearful
weapon by his side； with the conviction of its power
always in mind。 It had not been arrived at by any
reflective process； but once the idea had entered his
head； the conviction had followed overwhelmingly in a
multitude of observed little facts to which before he had
given only a languid attention。 The abrupt and falter…
ing intonations of the deep voice； the taciturnity put
on like an armor； the deliberate； as if guarded； move…
ments； the long immobilities； as if the man he watched
had been afraid to disturb the very air： every familiar
gesture； every word uttered in his hearing； every sigh
overheard； had acquired a special significance； a con…
firmatory import。
Every day that passed over the Sofala appeared to
Sterne simply crammed full with proofswith incon…
trovertible proofs。 At night； when off duty； he would
steal out of his cabin in pyjamas （for more proofs） and
stand a full hour； perhaps； on his bare feet below the
bridge； as absolutely motionless as the awning stanchion
in its deck socket near by。 On the stretches of easy
navigation it is not usual for a coasting captain to re…
main on deck all the time of his watch。 The Serang
keeps it for him as a matter of custom； in open water；
on a straight course； he is usually trusted to look after
the ship by himself。 But this old man seemed incapable
of remaining quietly down below。 No doubt he could
not sleep。 And no wonder。 This was also a proof。
Suddenly in the silence of the ship panting upon the
still； dark sea； Sterne would hear a low voice above him
exclaiming nervously
〃Serang！〃
〃Tuan！〃
〃You are watching the compass well？〃
〃Yes； I am watching； Tuan。〃
〃The ship is making her course？〃
〃She is； Tuan。 Very straight。〃
〃It is well； and remember； Serang； that the order
is that you are to mind the helmsmen and keep a look…
out with care； the same as if I were not on deck。〃
Then； when the Serang had made his answer； the low
tones on the bridge would cease； and everything round
Sterne seemed to become more still and more profoundly
silent。 Slightly chilled and with his back aching a little
from long immobility； he would steal away to his room
on the port side of the deck。 He had long since parted
with the last vestige of incredulity； of the original
emotions； set into a tumult by the discovery； some trace
of the first awe alone remained。 Not the awe of the
man himselfhe could blow him up sky…high with six
wordsrather it was an awestruck indignation at the
reckless perversity of avarice （what else could it be？）；
at the mad and somber resolution that for the sake of a
few dollars more seemed to set at naught the common
rule of conscience and pretended to struggle against
the very decree of Providence。
You could not find another man like this one in the
whole round worldthank God。 There was something
devilishly dauntless in the character of such a deception
which made you pause。
Other considerations occurring to his prudence had
kept him tongue…tied from day to day。 It seemed to
him now that it would yet have been easier to speak out
in the first hour of discovery。 He almost regretted not
having made a row at once。 But then the very mon…
strosity of the disclosure 。 。 。 Why！ He could hardly
face it himself； let alone pointing it out to somebody
else。 Moreover； with a desperado of that sort one never
knew。 The object was not to get him out （that was
as well as done already）； but to step into his place。
Bizarre as the thought seemed he might have shown
fight。 A fellow up to working such a fraud would have
enough cheek for anything； a fellow that； as it were；
stood up against God Almighty Himself。 He was a
horrid marvelthat's what he was： he was perfectly
capable of brazening out the affair scandalously till he
got him （Sterne） kicked out of the ship and everlast…
ingly damaged his prospects in this part of the East。
Yet if you want to get on something must be risked。 At
times Sterne thought he had been unduly timid of taking
action in the past； and what was worse； it had come to
this； that in the present he did not seem to know what
action to take。
Massy's savage moroseness was too disconcerting。 It
was an incalculable factor of the situation。 You could
not tell what there was behind that insulting ferocity。
How could one trust such a temper； it did not put
Sterne in bodily fear for himself； but it frightened him
exceedingly as to his prospects。
Though of course inclined to credit himself with ex…
ceptional powers of observation； he had by now lived
too long with his discovery。 He had gone on looking
at nothing else； till at last one day it occurred to him
that the thing was so obvious that no one could miss
seeing it。 There were four white men in all on board
the Sofala。 Jack； the second engineer； was too dull to
notice anything that took place out of his engine…room。
Remained Massythe ownerthe interested person
nearly going mad with worry。 Sterne had heard and
seen more than en
