idle ideas in 1905-第25节

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who　lived　thousands　of　years　ago；　who　has　now　passed　into　this
strange　second　childhood。

But　is　he　dyingor　does　the　life　of　a　nation　wake　again；　as　after
sleep？　　Is　he　this　droll；　harmless　thing　he　here　depicts　himself？
And　if　not？　　Suppose　fresh　sap　be　stirring　through　his　three　hundred
millions？　　We　thought　he　was　so　very　dead；　we　thought　the　time　had
come　to　cut　him　up　and　divide　him；　the　only　danger　being　lest　we
should　quarrel　over　his　carcase　among　ourselves。

Suppose　it　turns　out　as　the　fable　of　the　woodcutter　and　the　bear？
The　woodcutter　found　the　bear　lying　in　the　forest。　　At　first　he　was
much　frightened；　but　the　bear　lay　remarkably　still。　　So　the　woodman
crept　nearer；　ventured　to　kick　the　bearvery　gently；　ready　to　run　if
need　be。　　Surely　the　bear　was　dead！　　And　parts　of　a　bear　are　good　to
eat；　and　bearskin　to　poor　woodfolk　on　cold　winter　nights　is　grateful。
So　the　woodman　drew　his　knife　and　commenced　the　necessary
preliminaries。　　But　the　bear　was　not　dead。

If　the　Chinaman　be　not　dead？　　If　the　cutting…up　process　has　only
served　to　waken　him？　　In　a　little　time　from　now　we　shall　know。

From　the　Chinese　Room　the　white…haired　dame　leads　us　to　the　Japanese
Room。　　Had　gentle…looking　Princess　Amalia　some　vague　foreshadowing　of
the　future　in　her　mind　when　she　planned　these　two　rooms　leading　into
one　another？　　The　Japanese　decorations　are　more　grotesque；　the
designs　less　cheerfully　comical　than　those　of　cousin　Chinaman。　　These
monstrous；　mis…shapen　wrestlers；　these　patient…looking　gods；　with
their　inscrutable　eyes！　　Was　it　always　there；　or　is　it　only　by　the
light　of　present　events　that　one　reads　into　the　fantastic　fancies　of
the　artist　working　long　ago　in　the　doorway　of　his　paper　house；　a
meaning　that　has　hitherto　escaped　us？

But　the　chief　attraction　of　the　Huis　ten　Bosch　is　the　gorgeous　Orange
Saloon；　lighted　by　a　cupola；　fifty　feet　above　the　floor；　the　walls
one　blaze　of　pictures；　chiefly　of　the　gorgeous　Jordaen　school〃The
Defeat　of　the　Vices；〃　〃Time　Vanquishing　Slander〃mostly　allegorical；
in　praise　of　all　the　virtues；　in　praise　of　enlightenment　and
progress。　　Aptly　enough　in　a　room　so　decorated；　here　was　held　the
famous　Peace　Congress　that　closed　the　last　century。　　One　can　hardly
avoid　smiling　as　one　thinks　of　the　solemn　conclave　of　grandees
assembled　to　proclaim　the　popularity　of　Peace。

It　was　in　the　autumn　of　the　same　year　that　Europe　decided　upon　the
dividing…up　of　China；　that　soldiers　were　instructed　by　Christian
monarchs　to　massacre　men；　women　and　children；　the　idea　being　to
impress　upon　the　Heathen　Chinee　the　superior　civilization　of　the
white　man。　　The　Boer　war　followed　almost　immediately。　　Since　when　the
white　man　has　been　pretty　busy　all　over　the　world　with　his
〃expeditions〃　and　his　〃missions。〃　　The　world　is　undoubtedly　growing
more　refined。　　We　do　not　care　for　ugly　words。　　Even　the　burglar
refers　airily　to　the　〃little　job〃　he　has　on　hand。　　You　would　think　he
had　found　work　in　the　country。　　I　should　not　be　surprised　to　learn
that　he　says　a　prayer　before　starting；　telegraphs　home　to　his　anxious
wife　the　next　morning　that　his　task　has　been　crowned　with　blessing。

Until　the　far…off　date　of　Universal　Brotherhood　war　will　continue。
Matters　considered　unimportant　by　both　parties　willwith　a　mighty
flourish　of　trumpetsbe　referred　to　arbitration。　　I　was　talking　of　a
famous　financier　a　while　ago　with　a　man　who　had　been　his　secretary。
Amongst　other　anecdotes；　he　told　me　of　a　certain　agreement　about
which　dispute　had　arisen。　　The　famous　financier　took　the　paper　into
his　own　hands　and　made　a　few　swift　calculations。

〃Let　it　go；〃　he　concluded；　〃it　is　only　a　thousand　pounds　at　the
outside。　　May　as　well　be　honest。〃

Concerning　a　dead　fisherman　or　two；　concerning　boundaries　through
unproductive　mountain　ranges　we　shall　arbitrate　and　feel　virtuous。
For　gold　mines　and　good　pasture　lands；　mixed　up　with　a　little　honour
to　give　respectability　to　the　business；　we　shall　fight　it　out；　as
previously。　　War　being　thus　inevitable；　the　humane　man　will　rejoice
that　by　one　of　those　brilliant　discoveries；　so　simple　when　they　are
explained；　war　in　the　future　is　going　to　be　rendered　equally
satisfactory　to　victor　and　to　vanquished。

In　by…elections；　as　a　witty　writer　has　pointed　out；　there　are　no
defeatsonly　victories　and　moral　victories。　　The　idea　seems　to　have
caught　on。　　War　in　the　future　is　evidently　going　to　be　conducted　on
the　same　understanding。　　Once　upon　a　time；　from　a　far…off　land；　a
certain　general　telegraphed　home　congratulating　his　Government　that
the　enemy　had　shown　no　inclination　whatever　to　prevent　his　running
away。　　The　whole　country　rejoiced。

〃Why；　they　never　even　tried　to　stop　him；〃　citizens；　meeting　other
citizens　in　the　street；　told　each　other。　　〃Ah；　they've　had　enough　of
him。　　I　bet　they　are　only　too　glad　to　get　rid　of　him。　　Why；　they　say
he　ran　for　miles　without　seeing　a　trace　of　the　foe。〃

The　enemy's　general；　on　the　other　hand；　also　wrote　home
congratulating　his　Government。　　In　this　way　the　same　battle　can　be
mafficked　over　by　both　parties。　　Contentment　is　the　great　secret　of
happiness。　　Everything　happens　for　the　best；　if　only　you　look　at　it
the　right　way。　　That　is　going　to　be　the　argument。　　The　general　of　the
future　will　telegraph　to　headquarters　that　he　is　pleased　to　be　able
to　inform　His　Majesty　that　the　enemy；　having　broken　down　all
opposition；　has　succeeded　in　crossing　the　frontier　and　is　now　well　on
his　way　to　His　Majesty's　capital。

〃I　am　luring　him　on；〃　he　will　add；　〃as　fast　as　I　can。　　At　our　present
rate　of　progress；　I　am　in　hopes　of　bringing　him　home　by　the　tenth。〃

Lest　foolish　civilian　sort　of　people　should　wonder　whereabouts　lies
the　cause　for　rejoicing；　the　military　man　will　condescend　to　explain。
The　enemy　is　being　enticed　farther　and　farther　from　his　base。　　The
defeated　generalwho　is　not　really　defeated；　who　is　only　artful；　and
who　appears　to　be　running　away；　is　not　really　running　away　at　all。
On　the　contrary；　he　is　running　homebringing；　as　he　explains；　the
enemy　with　him。

If　I　remember　rightlyit　is　long　since　I　played　itthere　is　a
parlour　game　entitled　〃Puss　in　the　Corner。〃　　You　beckon　another
player　to　you　with　your　finger。　　〃Puss；　puss！〃　you　cry。　　Thereupon　he
has　to　leave　his　chairhis　〃base；〃　as　the　military　man　would　term
itand　try　to　get　to　you　without　anything　happening　to　him。

War　in　the　future　is　going　to　be　Puss　in　the　Corner　on　a　bigger
scale。　　You　lure　your　enemy　away　from　his　base。　　If　all　goes　wellif
he　does　not　see　the　trap　that　is　being　laid　for　himwhy；　then；
almost　before　he　knows　it；　he　finds　himself　in　your　capital。　　That
finishes　the　game。　　You　find　out　what　it　is　he　really　wants。
Provided　it　is　something　within　reason；　and　you　happen　to　have　it
handy；　you　give　it　to　him。　　He　goes　home　crowing；　and　you；　on　your
side；　laugh　when　you　think　how　cleverly　you　succeeded　in　luring　him
away　from　his　base。

There　is　a　bright　side　to　all　things。　　The　gentleman　charged　with　the
defence　of　a　fortress　will　meet　the　other　gentleman　who　has　captured
it　and　shake　hands　with　him　mid　the　ruins。

〃So　here　you　are　at　last！〃　he　will　explain。　　〃Why　didn't　you　come
before？　　We　have　been　waiting　for　you。〃

And　he　will　send　off　dispatches　felicitating　his　chief　on　having　got
that　fortress　off　their　hands；　together　with　all　the　worry　and
expense　it　has　been　to　them。　　When　prisoners　are　taken　you　will
console　yourself　with　the　reflection　that　the　cost　of　feeding　them
for　the　future　will　have　to　be　borne　by　the　enemy。　　Captured　cannon
you　will　watch　being　trailed　away　with　a　sigh　of　relief。

〃Confounded　heavy　things！〃　you　will　say　to　yourself。　　〃Thank　goodness
I've　got　rid　of　them。　　Let　him　have　the　fun　of　dragging　them　about
these　ghastly　roads。　　See　how　he　likes　the　job！〃

War　is　a　ridiculous　method　of　settling　disputes。　　Anything　that　can
tend　to　make　its　ridiculous　aspect　more　apparent　is　to　be　welcomed。
The　new　school　of　military　dispatch…writers　may　succeed　in　turning
even　the　laughter　of　the　mob　against　it。

The　present　trouble　in　the　East　would　never　have　occurred　but　for　the
white　man's　enthusiasm　for　bearing　other　people's　burdens。　　What　we
call　the　yellow　danger　is　the　fear　that　the　yellow　man　may　before
long　request　us；　so　far　as　he　is　concerned；　to　put　his　particular
burden　down。　　It　may　occur　to　him　that；　seeing　it　is　his　property；　he
would　just　as　soon　carry　it　himself。　　A　London　policeman　told　me　a
story　the　other　day　that　struck　him　as　an　example　of　Cockney　humour
under　trying　circumstances。　　But　it　may　also　serve　as　a　fable。　　From
a　lonely　street　in　the　neighbourhood　of　Covent　Garden；　early　one
morning；　the　constable　heard　cries　of　〃Stop　thief！〃　shouted　in　a
childish　treble。　　He　arrived　on　the　scene　just　in　time　to　collar　a
young　hooligan；　who；　having　snatched　a　basket　of　fruit　from　a　small
lada　greengrocer's　errand　boy；　as　it　turned　outwas；　with　it；
making　tracks。　　The　greengrocer's　boy；　between　panting　and　tears；
delivered　his　accusation。　　The　hooligan　regarded　him　with　an
expression　of　amazed　indignation。

〃What　d'yer　mean；　stealing　it？〃　exclaimed　Mr。　Hooligan。　　〃Why；　I　was
carrying　it　for　yer！〃

The　white　man　has　got　into　the　way　of