idle ideas in 1905-第21节

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they　bore　their　grief；　hiding　their　sorrow　from　the　indifferent
stranger。　　Some　widows　make　a　fuss；　go　about　for　weeks　looking　gloomy
and　depressed；　making　not　the　slightest　effort　to　be　merry。　　These
fourteen　widowsI　knew　them　personally；　all　of　them；　I　lived　in　the
same　streetwhat　a　brave　show　of　cheerfulness　they　put　on！　　What　a
lesson　to　the　common　or　European　widow；　the　humpy　type　of　widow！　　One
could　spend　whole　days　in　their　companyI　had　done　itcommencing
quite　early　in　the　morning　with　a　sleighing　excursion；　finishing　up
quite　late　in　the　evening　with　a　little　supper　party；　followed　by　an
impromptu　dance；　and　never　detect　from　their　outward　manner　that　they
were　not　thoroughly　enjoying　themselves。

From　the　mothers　I　turned　my　admiring　eyes　towards　the　children。
This　is　the　secret　of　American　success；　said　I　to　myself；　this　high…
spirited　courage；　this　Spartan　contempt　for　suffering。　　Look　at　them！
the　gallant　little　men　and　women。　　Who　would　think　that　they　had　lost
a　father？　　Why；　I　have　seen　a　British　child　more　upset　at　losing
sixpence。

Talking　to　a　little　girl　one　day；　I　enquired　of　her　concerning　the
health　of　her　father。　　The　next　moment　I　could　have　bitten　my　tongue
out；　remembering　that　there　wasn't　such　a　thing　as　a　fathernot　an
American　fatherin　the　whole　street。　　She　did　not　burst　into　tears
as　they　do　in　the　story…books。　　She　said：

〃He　is　quite　well；　thank　you；〃　simply；　pathetically；　just　like　that。

〃I　am　sure　of　it；〃　I　replied　with　fervour；　〃well　and　happy　as　he
deserves　to　be；　and　one　day　you　will　find　him　again；　you　will　go　to
him。〃

〃Ah；　yes；〃　she　answered；　a　shining　light；　it　seemed　to　me；　upon　her
fair　young　face。　　〃Momma　says　she　is　getting　just　a　bit　tired　of　this
one…horse　sort　of　place。　　She　is　quite　looking　forward　to　seeing　him
again。〃

It　touched　me　very　deeply：　　this　weary　woman；　tired　of　her　long
bereavement；　actually　looking　forward　to　the　fearsome　passage　leading
to　where　her　loved　one　waited　for　her　in　a　better　land。

For　one　bright　breezy　creature　I　grew　to　feel　a　real　regard。　　All　the
months　that　I　had　known　her；　seen　her　almost　daily；　never　once　had　I
heard　a　single　cry　of　pain　escape　her　lips；　never　once　had　I　heard
her　cursing　fate。　　Of　the　many　who　called　upon　her　in　her　charming
flat；　not　one　had　ever；　to　my　knowledge；　offered　her　consolation　or
condolence。　　It　seemed　to　me　cruel；　callous。　　The　over…burdened
heart；　finding　no　outlet　for　its　imprisoned　grief；　finding　no
sympathetic　ear　into　which　to　pour　its　tale　of　woe；　breaks；　we　are
told；　anyhow；　it　isn't　good　for　it。　　I　decidedno　one　else　seeming
keenthat　I　would　supply　that　sympathetic　ear。　　The　very　next　time　I
found　myself　alone　with　her　I　introduced　the　subject。

〃You　have　been　living　here　in　Dresden　a　long　time；　have　you　not？〃　I
asked。

〃About　five　years；〃　she　answered；　〃on　and　off。〃

〃And　all　alone；〃　I　commented；　with　a　sigh　intended　to　invite　to
confidence。

〃Well；　hardly　alone；〃　she　corrected　me；　while　a　look　of　patient
resignation　added　dignity　to　her　piquant　features。　　〃You　see；　there
are　the　dear　children　always　round　about　me；　during　the　holidays。〃

〃Besides；〃　she　added；　〃the　people　here　are　real　kind　to　me；　they
hardly　ever　let　me　feel　myself　alone。　　We　make　up　little　parties；　you
know；　picnics　and　excursions。　　And　then；　of　course；　there　is　the
Opera　and　the　Symphony　Concerts；　and　the　subscription　dances。　　The
dear　old　king　has　been　doing　a　good　deal　this　winter；　too；　and　I　must
say　the　Embassy　folks　have　been　most　thoughtful；　so　far　as　I　am
concerned。　　No；　it　would　not　be　right　for　me　to　complain　of
loneliness；　not　now　that　I　have　got　to　know　a　few　people；　as　it
were。〃

〃But　don't　you　miss　your　husband？〃　I　suggested。

A　cloud　passed　over　her　usually　sunny　face。　　〃Oh；　please　don't　talk
of　him；〃　she　said；　〃it　makes　me　feel　real　sad；　thinking　about　him。〃

But　having　commenced；　I　was　determined　that　my　sympathy　should　not　be
left　to　waste。

〃What　did　he　die　of？〃　I　asked。

She　gave　me　a　look　the　pathos　of　which　I　shall　never　forget。

〃Say；　young　man；〃　she　cried；　〃are　you　trying　to　break　it　to　me
gently？　　Because　if　so；　I'd　rather　you　told　me　straight　out。　　What
did　he　die　of？〃

〃Then　isn't　he　dead？〃　I　asked；　〃I　mean　so　far　as　you　know。〃

〃Never　heard　a　word　about　his　being　dead　till　you　started　the　idea；〃
she　retorted。　　〃So　far　as　I　know　he's　alive　and　well。〃

I　said　that　I　was　sorry。　　I　went　on　to　explain　that　I　did　not　mean　I
was　sorry　to　hear　that　in　all　probability　he　was　alive　and　well。
What　I　meant　was　I　was　sorry　I　had　introduced　a　painful　subject。

〃What's　a　painful　subject？〃

〃Why；　your　husband；〃　I　replied。

〃But　why　should　you　call　him　a　painful　subject？〃

I　had　an　idea　she　was　getting　angry　with　me。　　She　did　not　say　so。　　I
gathered　it。　　But　I　had　to　explain　myself　somehow。

〃Well；〃　I　answered；　〃I　take　it；　you　didn't　get　on　well　together；　and
I　am　sure　it　must　have　been　his　fault。〃

〃Now　look　here；〃　she　said；　〃don't　you　breathe　a　word　against　my
husband　or　we　shall　quarrel。　　A　nicer；　dearer　fellow　never　lived。〃

〃Then　what　did　you　divorce　him　for？〃　I　asked。　　It　was　impertinent；　it
was　unjustifiable。　　My　excuse　is　that　the　mystery　surrounding　the
American　husband　had　been　worrying　me　for　months。　　Here　had　I
stumbled　upon　the　opportunity　of　solving　it。　　Instinctively　I　clung
to　my　advantage。

〃There　hasn't　been　any　divorce；〃　she　said。　　〃There　isn't　going　to　be
any　divorce。　　You'll　make　me　cross　in　another　minute。〃

But　I　was　becoming　reckless。　　〃He　is　not　dead。　　You　are　not　divorced
from　him。　　Where　is　he？〃　I　demanded　with　some　heat。

〃Where　is　he？〃　she　replied；　astonished。　　Where　should　he　be？　　At
home；　of　course。〃　　I　looked　around　the　luxuriously…furnished　room
with　its　air　of　cosy　comfort；　of　substantial　restfulness。

〃What　home？〃　I　asked。

〃What　home！　　Why；　our　home；　in　Detroit。〃

〃What　is　he　doing　there？〃　　I　had　become　so　much　in　earnest　that　my
voice　had　assumed　unconsciously　an　authoritative　tone。　　Presumably；
it　hypnotised　her；　for　she　answered　my　questions　as　though　she　had
been　in　the　witness…box。

〃How　do　I　know？　　How　can　I　possibly　tell　you　what　he　is　doing？　　What
do　people　usually　do　at　home？〃

〃Answer　the　questions；　madam；　don't　ask　them。　　What　are　you　doing
here？　　Quite　truthfully；　if　you　please。〃　　My　eyes　were　fixed　upon
her。

〃Enjoying　myself。　　He　likes　me　to　enjoy　myself。　　Besides；　I　am
educating　the　children。〃

〃You　mean　they　are　here　at　boarding…school　while　you　are　gadding
about。　　What　is　wrong　with　American　education？　　When　did　you　see　your
husband　last？〃

〃Last？　　Let　me　see。　　No；　last　Christmas　I　was　in　Berlin。　　It　must
have　been　the　Christmas　before；　I　think。〃

〃If　he　is　the　dear　kind　fellow　you　say　he　is；　how　is　it　you　haven't
seen　him　for　two　years？〃

〃Because；　as　I　tell　you；　he　is　at　home；　in　Detroit。　　How　can　I　see
him　when　I　am　here　in　Dresden　and　he　is　in　Detroit？　　You　do　ask
foolish　questions。　　He　means　to　try　and　come　over　in　the　summer；　if
he　can　spare　the　time；　and　then；　of　course　…

〃Answer　my　questions；　please。　　I've　spoken　to　you　once　about　it。　　Do
you　think　you　are　performing　your　duty　as　a　wife；　enjoying　yourself
in　Dresden　and　Berlin　while　your　husband　is　working　hard　in　Detroit？〃

〃He　was　quite　willing　for　me　to　come。　　The　American　husband　is　a　good
fellow　who　likes　his　wife　to　enjoy　herself。〃

〃I　am　not　asking　for　your　views　on　the　American　husband。　　I　am　asking
your　views　on　the　American　wifeon　yourself。　　The　American　husband
appears　to　be　a　sort　of　stained…glass　saint；　and　you　American　wives
are　imposing　upon　him。　　It　is　doing　you　no　good；　and　it　won't　go　on
for　ever。　　There　will　come　a　day　when　the　American　husband　will　wake
up　to　the　fact　he　is　making　a　fool　of　himself；　and　by　over…
indulgence；　over…devotion；　turning　the　American　woman　into　a
heartless；　selfish　creature。　　What　sort　of　a　home　do　you　think　it　is
in　Detroit；　with　you　and　the　children　over　here？　　Tell　me；　is　the
American　husband　made　entirely　of　driven　snow；　with　blood　distilled
from　moonbeams；　or　is　he　composed　of　the　ordinary　ingredients？
Because；　if　the　latter；　you　take　my　advice　and　get　back　home。　　I　take
it　that　in　America；　proper；　there　are　millions　of　real　homes　where
the　woman　does　her　duty　and　plays　the　game。　　But　also　it　is　quite
clear　there　are　thousands　of　homes　in　America；　mere　echoing　rooms；
where　the　man　walks　by　himself；　his　wife　and　children　scattered　over
Europe。　　It　isn't　going　to　work；　it　isn't　right　that　it　should　work。〃

〃You　take　the　advice　of　a　sincere　friend。　　Pack　upyou　and　the
childrenand　get　home。〃

I　left。　　It　was　growing　late。　　I　felt　it　was　time　to　leave。　　Whether
she　took　my　counsel　I　cannot　say。　　I　only　know　that　there　still
remain　in　Europe　a　goodly　number　of　American　wives　to　whom　it　is
applicable。



DOES　THE　YOUNG　MAN　KNOW　EVERYTHING　WORTH　KNOWING？



I　am　told　that　American　professors　are　〃mourning　the　lack　of　ideals〃
at　Columbia　Universitypossibly　also　at　other　universities　scattered
through　the　United　States。　　If　it　be　any　consolation　to　these
mourning　American　professors；　I　can　assure　them　that　they　do　not
mourn　alone。　　I　live　not　far　from　Oxford；　and　enjoy　the　advantag