the golden age(金色时代)-第4节
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The Golden Age
A WHITE…WASHED UNCLE
In our small lives that day was eventful when another uncle was to
come down from town； and submit his character and qualifications （albeit
unconsciously） to our careful criticism。 Previous uncles had been
weighed in the balance； andalas！ found grievously wanting。 There
was Uncle Thomasa failure from the first。 Not that his disposition was
malevolent； nor were his habits such as to unfit him for decent society； but
his rooted conviction seemed to be that the reason of a child's existence
was to serve as a butt for senseless adult jokes；or what； from the
accompanying guffaws of laughter； appeared to be intended for jokes。
Now； we were anxious that he should have a perfectly fair trial； so in the
tool…house； between breakfast and lessons； we discussed and examined all
his witticisms； one by one； calmly； critically； dispassionately。 It was no
good； we could not discover any salt in them。 And as only a genuine gift
of humour could have saved Uncle Thomas；for he pretended to naught
besides；he was reluctantly writ down a hopeless impostor。
Uncle Georgethe youngestwas distinctly more promising。 He
accompanied us cheerily round the establishment；suffered himself to be
introduced to each of the cows； held out the right hand of fellowship to the
pig； and even hinted that a pair of pink…eyed Himalayan rabbits might
arriveunexpectedlyfrom town some day。 We were just considering
whether in this fertile soil an apparently accidental remark on the solid
qualities of guinea… pigs or ferrets might haply blossom and bring forth
fruit； when our governess appeared on the scene。 Uncle George's manner
at once underwent a complete and contemptible change。 His interest in
rational topics seemed； 〃like a fountain's sickening pulse；〃 to flag and ebb
away； and though Miss Smedley's ostensible purpose was to take Selina
for her usual walk； I can vouch for it that Selina spent her morning ratting；
along with the keeper's boy and me； while； if Miss Smedley walked with
any one； it would appear to have been with Uncle George。
But despicable as his conduct had been； he underwent no hasty
condemnation。 The defection was discussed in all its bearings； but it
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The Golden Age
seemed sadly clear at last that this uncle must possess some innate badness
of character and fondness for low company。 We who from daily
experience knew Miss Smedley like a bookwere we not only too well
aware that she had neither accomplishments nor charms； no characteristic；
in fact； but an inbred viciousness of temper and disposition？ True； she
knew the dates of the English kings by heart； but how could that profit
Uncle George； who； having passed into the army； had ascended beyond the
need of useful information？ Our bows and arrows； on the other hand；
had been freely placed at his disposal； and a soldier should not have
hesitated in his choice a moment。 No： Uncle George had fallen from
grace； and was unanimously damned。 And the non…arrival of the
Himalayan rabbits was only another nail in his coffin。 Uncles； therefore；
were just then a heavy and lifeless market； and there was little inclination
to deal。 Still it was agreed that Uncle William； who had just returned
from India； should have as fair a trial as the others； more especially as
romantic possibilities might well be embodied in one who had held the
gorgeous East in fee。
Selina had kicked my shinslike the girl she is！during a scuffle in the
passage； and I was still rubbing them with one hand when I found that the
uncle…on…approbation was half… heartedly shaking the other。 A florid；
elderly man； and unmistakably nervous； he dropped our grimy paws in
succession； and； turning very red； with an awkward simulation of
heartiness； 〃Well； h' are y' all？〃 he said； 〃Glad to see me； eh？〃 As we
could hardly； in justice； be expected to have formed an opinion on him at
that early stage； we could but look at each other in silence； which scarce
served to relieve the tension of the situation。 Indeed； the cloud never
really lifted during his stay。 In talking it over later； some one put forward
the suggestion that he must at some time or other have committed a
stupendous crime； but I could not bring myself to believe that the man；
though evidently unhappy； was really guilty of anything； and I caught him
once or twice looking at us with evident kindliness； though seeing himself
observed； he blushed and turned away his head。
When at last the atmosphere was clear of this depressing influence； we
met despondently in the potato…cellarall of us； that is； but Harold； who
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The Golden Age
had been told off to accompany his relative to the station； and the feeling
was unanimous； that； at an uncle； William could not be allowed to pass。
Selina roundly declared him a beast； pointing out that he had not even got
us a half…holiday； and； indeed； there seemed little to do but to pass
sentence。 We were about to put it； when Harold appeared on the scene；
his red face； round eyes； and mysterious demeanour； hinting at awful
portents。 Speechless he stood a space： then； slowly drawing his hand
from the pocket of his knickerbockers； he displayed on a dirty palm one
twothreefour half…crowns！ We could but gazetranced； breathless；
mute； never had any of us seen； in the aggregate； so much bullion before。
Then Harold told his tale。
〃I took the old fellow to the station；〃 he said； 〃and as we went along I
told him all about the station…master's family； and how I had seen the
porter kissing our housemaid； and what a nice fellow he was； with no airs；
or affectation about him； and anything I thought would be of interest。； but
he didn't seem to pay much attention； but walked along puffing his cigar；
and once I thoughtI'm not certain； but I THOUGHTI heard him say；
‘Well； thank God； that's over！' When we got to the station he stopped
suddenly； and said； ‘Hold on a minute！' Then he shoved these into my
hand in a frightened sort of way； and said； ‘Look here； youngster！ These
are for you and the other kids。 Buy what you likemake little beasts of
yourselvesonly don't tell the old people； mind！ Now cut away home！'
So I cut。〃
A solemn hush fell on the assembly； broken first by the small Charlotte。
〃I didn't know；〃 she observed dreamily； 〃that there were such good men
anywhere in the world。 I hope he'll die to… night； for then he'll go straight
to heaven！〃 But the repentant Selina bewailed herself with tears and sobs；
refusing to be comforted； for that in her haste she had called this white…
souled relative a beast。
〃I'll tell you what we'll do；〃 said Edward； the master…mind； risingas
he always didto the situation： 〃We'll christen the piebald pig after him…
…the one that hasn't got a name yet。 And that'll show we're sorry for our
mistake！〃
〃II christened that pig this morning；〃 Harold guiltily confessed； 〃I
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The Golden Age
christened it after the curate。 I'm very sorry but he came and bow'ed to
me last night； after you others had all been sent to bed earlyand
somehow I felt I HAD to do it！〃
〃Oh； but that doesn't count；〃 said Edward hastily； 〃because we weren't
all there。 We'll take that christening off； and call it Uncle William。 And
you can save up the
