the golden age(金色时代)-第22节
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projection met the thrilling finger…tips； unyielding the old bureau stood；
stoutly guarding its secret； if secret it really had。 I began to grow weary
and disheartened。 This was not the first time that Uncle Thomas had
proved shallow； uninformed； a guide into blind alleys where the echoes
mocked you。 Was it any good persisting longer？ Was anything any
good whatever？ In my mind I began to review past disappointments； and
life seemed one long record of failure and of non…arriral。 Disillusioned
and depressed； I left my work and went to the window。 The light was
ebbing from the room； and outside seemed to be collecting itself on the
horizon for its concentrated effort of sunset。 Far down the garden； Uncle
Thomas was holding Edward in the air reversed； and smacking him。
Edward； gurgling hysterically； was striking blind fists in the direction
where he judged his uncle's stomach should rightly be； the contents of his
pocketsa motley showwere strewing the lawn。 Somehow； though I
had been put through a similar performance an hour or two ago； myself； it
all seemed very far away and cut off from me。
Westwards the clouds were massing themselves in a low violet bank；
below them； to north and south； as far round as eye could reach； a narrow
streak of gold ran out and stretched away； straight along the horizon。
Somewhere very far off； a horn was being blown； clear and thin； it
sounded like the golden streak grown audible； while the gold seemed the
visible sound。 It pricked my ebbing courage； this blended strain of music
and colour； and I turned for a last effort； and Fortune thereupon； as if half…
ashamed of the unworthy game she had been playing with me； relented；
opening her clenched fist。 Hardly had I put my hand once more to the
obdurate wood； when with a sort of small sigh； almost a sobas it were
of relief； the secret drawer sprang open。
I drew it out and carried it to the window； to examine it in the failing
light。 Too hopeless had I gradually grown； in my dispiriting search； to
expect very much； and yet at a glance I saw that my basket of glass lay in
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fragments at my feet。 No ingots or dollars were here； to crown me the
little Monte Cristo of a week。 Outside； the distant horn had ceased its
gnat…song； the gold was paling to primrose； and everything was lonely and
still。 Within； my confident little castles were tumbling down like card…
houses； leaving me stripped of estate； both real and personal； and
dominated by the depressing reaction。
And yet；as I looked again at the small collection that lay within that
drawer of disillusions； some warmth crept back to my heart as I
recognised that a kindred spirit to my own had been at the making of it。
Two tarnished gilt buttons；naval； apparently；a portrait of a monarch
unknown to me； cut from some antique print and deftly coloured by hand
in just my own bold style of brush…work；some foreign copper coins；
thicker and clumsier of make than those I hoarded myself；and a list of
birds' eggs； with names of the places where they had been found。 Also； a
ferret's muzzle； and a twist of tarry string； still faintly aromatic。 It was a
real boy's hoard； then； that I had happened upon。 He too had found out
the secret drawer； this happy starred young person； and here he had stowed
away his treasures； one by one； and had cherished them secretly awhile；
and thenwhat？ Well； one would never know now the reason why these
priceless possessions still lay here unreclaimed； but across the void stretch
of years I seemed to touch hands a moment with my little comrade of
seasons long since dead。
I restored the drawer； with its contents； to the trusty bureau； and heard
the spring click with a certain satisfaction。 Some other boy； perhaps；
would some day release that spring again。 I trusted he would be equally
appreciative。 As I opened the door to go； I could hear from the nursery at
the end of the passage shouts and yells； telling that the hunt was up。
Bears； apparently； or bandits； were on the evening bill of fare； judging by
the character of the noises。 In another minute I would be in the thick of it；
in all the warmth and light and laughter。 And yetwhat a long way off it
all seemed； both in space and time； to me yet lingering on the threshold of
that old…world chamber！
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〃EXIT TYRANNUS〃
The eventful day had arrived at last； the day which； when first named；
had seemedlike all golden dates that promise anything definiteso
immeasurably remote。 When it was first announced； a fortnight before；
that Miss Smedley was really going； the resultant ecstasies had occupied a
full week； during which we blindly revelled in the contemplation and
discussion of her past tyrannies； crimes； malignities； in recalling to each
other this or that insult； dishonour； or physical assault； sullenly endured at
a time when deliverance was not even a small star on the horizon； and in
mapping out the golden days to come； with special new troubles of their
own； no doubt； since this is but a work…a… day world； but at least free from
one familiar scourge。 The time that remained had been taken up by the
planning of practical expressions of the popular sentiment。 Under
Edward's masterly direction； arrangements had been made for a flag to be
run up over the hen…house at the very moment when the fly； with Miss
Smedley's boxes on top and the grim oppressor herself inside； began to
move off down the drive。 Three brass cannons； set on the brow of the
sunk…fence； were to proclaim our deathless sentiments in the ears of the
retreating foe： the dogs were to wear ribbons； and laterbut this depended
on our powers of evasiveness and dissimulationthere might be a small
bonfire； with a cracker or two； if the public funds could bear the unwonted
strain。
I was awakened by Harold digging me in the ribs； and 〃She's going to…
day！〃 was the morning hymn that scattered the clouds of sleep。
Strange to say； it was with no corresponding jubilation of spirits that I
slowly realised the momentous fact。 Indeed； as I dressed； a dull
disagreeable feeling that I could not define grew within mesomething
like a physical bruise。 Harold was evidently feeling it too； for after
repeating 〃She's going to… day！〃 in a tone more befitting the Litany； he
looked hard in my face for direction as to how the situation was to be
taken。 But I crossly bade him look sharp and say his prayers and not
bother me。 What could this gloom portend； that on a day of days like the
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present seemed to hang my heavens with black？
Down at last and out in the sun； we found Edward before us； swinging
on a gate； and chanting a farm…yard ditty in which all the beasts appear in
due order； jargoning in their several tongues； and every verse begins with
the couplet
〃Now； my lads； come with me； Out in the morning early！〃
The fateful exodus of the day had evidently slipped his memory
entirely。 I touched him on the shoulder。 〃She's going to…day！〃 I said。
Edward's carol subsided like a water…tap turned off。 〃So she is！〃 he
replied； and got down at once off the gate： and we returned to the house
without another word。
At breakfast Miss Smedley behaved in a most mean and uncalled…for
manner。 The right divine of governesses to govern wrong includes no
right to cry。 In thus usurping the prerogative of their victims； they ignore
the rules of the ring； and hit below the belt。 Charlotte was
