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the aspern papers-第22节

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she was not crying now; and yet she struck me as less confident。

It was as if something had happened to her during the night;

or at least as if she had thought of something that troubled her

something in particular that affected her relations

with me; made them more embarrassing and complicated。

Had she simply perceived that her aunt's not being there now

altered my position?



〃I mean about our papers。  ARE there any?  You must know now。〃



〃Yes; there are a great many; more than I supposed。〃

I was struck with the way her voice trembled as she told me this。



〃Do you mean that you have got them in thereand that I may see them?〃



〃I don't think you can see them;〃 said Miss Tita with an extraordinary

expression of entreaty in her eyes; as if the dearest hope she had in the

world now was that I would not take them from her。  But how could she expect

me to make such a sacrifice as that after all that had passed between us?

What had I come back to Venice for but to see them; to take them?

My delight in learning they were still in existence was such that

if the poor woman had gone down on her knees to beseech me never to

mention them again I would have treated the proceeding as a bad joke。

〃I have got them but I can't show them;〃 she added。



〃Not even to me?  Ah; Miss Tita!〃  I groaned; with a voice of infinite

remonstrance and reproach。



She colored; and the tears came back to her eyes;

I saw that it cost her a kind of anguish to take such a stand

but that a dreadful sense of duty had descended upon her。

It made me quite sick to find myself confronted with that

particular obstacle; all the more that it appeared to me I

had been extremely encouraged to leave it out of account。

I almost considered that Miss Tita had assured me that if she

had no greater hindrance than that!  〃You don't mean to say

you made her a deathbed promise?  It was precisely against

your doing anything of that sort that I thought I was safe。

Oh; I would rather she had burned the papers outright than that!〃



〃No; it isn't a promise;〃 said Miss Tita。



〃Pray what is it then?〃



She hesitated and then she said; 〃She tried to burn them; but I prevented it。

She had hid them in her bed。〃



〃In her bed?〃



〃Between the mattresses。  That's where she put them when she

took them out of the trunk。  I can't understand how she did it;

because Olimpia didn't help her。  She tells me so; and I believe her。

My aunt only told her afterward; so that she shouldn't touch

the bedanything but the sheets。  So it was badly made;〃

added Miss Tita simply。



〃I should think so!  And how did she try to burn them?〃



〃She didn't try much; she was too weak; those last days。

But she told meshe charged me。  Oh; it was terrible!

She couldn't speak after that night; she could only make signs。〃



〃And what did you do?〃



〃I took them away。  I locked them up。〃



〃In the secretary?〃



〃Yes; in the secretary;〃 said Miss Tita; reddening again。



〃Did you tell her you would burn them?〃



〃No; I didn'ton purpose。〃



〃On purpose to gratify me?〃



〃Yes; only for that。〃



〃And what good will you have done me if after all you won't show them?〃



〃Oh; none; I know thatI know that。〃



〃And did she believe you had destroyed them?〃



〃I don't know what she believed at the last。  I couldn't tell

she was too far gone。〃



〃Then if there was no promise and no assurance I can't see what ties you。〃



〃Oh; she hated it soshe hated it so!  She was so jealous。

But here's the portraityou may have that;〃 Miss Tita announced;

taking the little picture; wrapped up in the same manner

in which her aunt had wrapped it; out of her pocket。



〃I may have itdo you mean you give it to me?〃

I questioned; staring; as it passed into my hand。



〃Oh; yes。〃



〃But it's worth moneya large sum。〃



〃Well!〃 said Miss Tita; still with her strange look。



I did not know what to make of it; for it could scarcely mean that she wanted

to bargain like her aunt。  She spoke as if she wished to make me a present。

〃I can't take it from you as a gift;〃 I said; 〃and yet I can't afford

to pay you for it according to the ideas Miss Bordereau had of its value。

She rated it at a thousand pounds。〃



〃Couldn't we sell it?〃 asked Miss Tita。



〃God forbid!  I prefer the picture to the money。〃



〃Well then keep it。〃



〃You are very generous。〃



〃So are you。〃



〃I don't know why you should think so;〃 I replied; and this

was a truthful speech; for the singular creature appeared

to have some very fine reference in her mind; which I did

not in the least seize。



〃Well; you have made a great difference for me;〃 said Miss Tita。



I looked at Jeffrey Aspern's face in the little picture;

partly in order not to look at that of my interlocutress;

which had begun to trouble me; even to frighten me a little

it was so self…conscious; so unnatural。  I made no answer to this

last declaration; I only privately consulted Jeffrey Aspern's

delightful eyes with my own (they were so young and brilliant;

and yet so wise; so full of vision); I asked him what on earth

was the matter with Miss Tita。  He seemed to smile at me

with friendly mockery; as if he were amused at my case。

I had got into a pickle for himas if he needed it!

He was unsatisfactory; for the only moment since I had

known him。  Nevertheless; now that I held the little picture

in my hand I felt that it would be a precious possession。

〃Is this a bribe to make me give up the papers?〃

I demanded in a moment; perversely。  〃Much as I value it;

if I were to be obliged to choose; the papers are what I

should prefer。  Ah; but ever so much!〃



〃How can you choosehow can you choose?〃  Miss Tita

asked; slowly; lamentably。



〃I see!  Of course there is nothing to be said; if you regard

the interdiction that rests upon you as quite insurmountable。

In this case it must seem to you that to part with them would

be an impiety of the worst kind; a simple sacrilege!〃



Miss Tita shook her head; full of her dolefulness。  〃You would understand

if you had known her。  I'm afraid;〃 she quavered suddenly〃I'm afraid!

She was terrible when she was angry。〃



〃Yes; I saw something of that; that night。  She was terrible。

Then I saw her eyes。  Lord; they were fine!〃



〃I see themthey stare at me in the dark!〃 said Miss Tita。



〃You are nervous; with all you have been through。〃



〃Oh; yes; veryvery!〃



〃You mustn't mind; that will pass away;〃 I said; kindly。

Then I added; resignedly; for it really seemed to me that I must

accept the situation; 〃Well; so it is; and it can't be helped。

I must renounce。〃  Miss Tita; at this; looking at me; gave a low;

soft moan; and I went on:  〃I only wish to heaven she had

destroyed them; then there would be nothing more to say。

And I can't understand why; with her ideas; she didn't。〃



〃Oh; she lived on them!〃 said Miss Tita。



〃You can imagine whether that makes me want less to see them;〃

I answered; smiling。  〃But don't let me stand here as if I

had it in my soul to tempt you to do anything base。

Naturally you will understand if I give up my rooms。

I leave Venice immediately。〃  And I took up my hat; which I

had placed on a chair。  We were still there rather awkwardly;

on our feet; in the middle of the sala。  She had left

the door of the apartments open behind her but she had not led

me that way。



A kind of spasm came into her face as she saw me take my hat。

〃Immediatelydo you mean today?〃  The tone of the words was tragical

they were a cry of desolation。



〃Oh; no; not so long as I can be of the least service to you。〃



〃Well; just a day or two morejust two or three days;〃 she panted。

Then controlling herself; she added in another manner; 〃She wanted

to say something to methe last daysomething very particular;

but she couldn't。〃



〃Something very particular?〃



〃Something more about the papers。〃



〃And did you guesshave you any idea?〃



〃No; I have thoughtbut I don't know。  I have thought all kinds of things。〃



〃And for instance?〃



〃Well; that if you were a relation it would be different。〃



〃If I were a relation?〃



〃If you were not a stranger。  Then it would be the same for you as for me。

Anything that is minewould be yours; and you could do what you like。

I couldn't prevent youand you would have no responsibility。〃



She brought out this droll explanation with a little nervous rush;

as if she were speaking words she had got by heart。  They gave

me an impression of subtlety and at first I failed to follow。

But after a moment her face helped me to see further;

and then a light came into my mind。  It was embarrassing;

and I bent my head over Jeffrey Aspern's portrait。

What an odd expression was in his face!  〃Get out of it as

you can; my dear fellow!〃  I put the picture into the pocket

of my coat and said to Miss Tita; 〃Yes;

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