the aspern papers-第22节

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she　was　not　crying　now；　and　yet　she　struck　me　as　less　confident。

It　was　as　if　something　had　happened　to　her　during　the　night；

or　at　least　as　if　she　had　thought　of　something　that　troubled　her

something　in　particular　that　affected　her　relations

with　me；　made　them　more　embarrassing　and　complicated。

Had　she　simply　perceived　that　her　aunt's　not　being　there　now

altered　my　position？



〃I　mean　about　our　papers。　　ARE　there　any？　　You　must　know　now。〃



〃Yes；　there　are　a　great　many；　more　than　I　supposed。〃

I　was　struck　with　the　way　her　voice　trembled　as　she　told　me　this。



〃Do　you　mean　that　you　have　got　them　in　thereand　that　I　may　see　them？〃



〃I　don't　think　you　can　see　them；〃　said　Miss　Tita　with　an　extraordinary

expression　of　entreaty　in　her　eyes；　as　if　the　dearest　hope　she　had　in　the

world　now　was　that　I　would　not　take　them　from　her。　　But　how　could　she　expect

me　to　make　such　a　sacrifice　as　that　after　all　that　had　passed　between　us？

What　had　I　come　back　to　Venice　for　but　to　see　them；　to　take　them？

My　delight　in　learning　they　were　still　in　existence　was　such　that

if　the　poor　woman　had　gone　down　on　her　knees　to　beseech　me　never　to

mention　them　again　I　would　have　treated　the　proceeding　as　a　bad　joke。

〃I　have　got　them　but　I　can't　show　them；〃　she　added。



〃Not　even　to　me？　　Ah；　Miss　Tita！〃　　I　groaned；　with　a　voice　of　infinite

remonstrance　and　reproach。



She　colored；　and　the　tears　came　back　to　her　eyes；

I　saw　that　it　cost　her　a　kind　of　anguish　to　take　such　a　stand

but　that　a　dreadful　sense　of　duty　had　descended　upon　her。

It　made　me　quite　sick　to　find　myself　confronted　with　that

particular　obstacle；　all　the　more　that　it　appeared　to　me　I

had　been　extremely　encouraged　to　leave　it　out　of　account。

I　almost　considered　that　Miss　Tita　had　assured　me　that　if　she

had　no　greater　hindrance　than　that！　　〃You　don't　mean　to　say

you　made　her　a　deathbed　promise？　　It　was　precisely　against

your　doing　anything　of　that　sort　that　I　thought　I　was　safe。

Oh；　I　would　rather　she　had　burned　the　papers　outright　than　that！〃



〃No；　it　isn't　a　promise；〃　said　Miss　Tita。



〃Pray　what　is　it　then？〃



She　hesitated　and　then　she　said；　〃She　tried　to　burn　them；　but　I　prevented　it。

She　had　hid　them　in　her　bed。〃



〃In　her　bed？〃



〃Between　the　mattresses。　　That's　where　she　put　them　when　she

took　them　out　of　the　trunk。　　I　can't　understand　how　she　did　it；

because　Olimpia　didn't　help　her。　　She　tells　me　so；　and　I　believe　her。

My　aunt　only　told　her　afterward；　so　that　she　shouldn't　touch

the　bedanything　but　the　sheets。　　So　it　was　badly　made；〃

added　Miss　Tita　simply。



〃I　should　think　so！　　And　how　did　she　try　to　burn　them？〃



〃She　didn't　try　much；　she　was　too　weak；　those　last　days。

But　she　told　meshe　charged　me。　　Oh；　it　was　terrible！

She　couldn't　speak　after　that　night；　she　could　only　make　signs。〃



〃And　what　did　you　do？〃



〃I　took　them　away。　　I　locked　them　up。〃



〃In　the　secretary？〃



〃Yes；　in　the　secretary；〃　said　Miss　Tita；　reddening　again。



〃Did　you　tell　her　you　would　burn　them？〃



〃No；　I　didn'ton　purpose。〃



〃On　purpose　to　gratify　me？〃



〃Yes；　only　for　that。〃



〃And　what　good　will　you　have　done　me　if　after　all　you　won't　show　them？〃



〃Oh；　none；　I　know　thatI　know　that。〃



〃And　did　she　believe　you　had　destroyed　them？〃



〃I　don't　know　what　she　believed　at　the　last。　　I　couldn't　tell

she　was　too　far　gone。〃



〃Then　if　there　was　no　promise　and　no　assurance　I　can't　see　what　ties　you。〃



〃Oh；　she　hated　it　soshe　hated　it　so！　　She　was　so　jealous。

But　here's　the　portraityou　may　have　that；〃　Miss　Tita　announced；

taking　the　little　picture；　wrapped　up　in　the　same　manner

in　which　her　aunt　had　wrapped　it；　out　of　her　pocket。



〃I　may　have　itdo　you　mean　you　give　it　to　me？〃

I　questioned；　staring；　as　it　passed　into　my　hand。



〃Oh；　yes。〃



〃But　it's　worth　moneya　large　sum。〃



〃Well！〃　said　Miss　Tita；　still　with　her　strange　look。



I　did　not　know　what　to　make　of　it；　for　it　could　scarcely　mean　that　she　wanted

to　bargain　like　her　aunt。　　She　spoke　as　if　she　wished　to　make　me　a　present。

〃I　can't　take　it　from　you　as　a　gift；〃　I　said；　〃and　yet　I　can't　afford

to　pay　you　for　it　according　to　the　ideas　Miss　Bordereau　had　of　its　value。

She　rated　it　at　a　thousand　pounds。〃



〃Couldn't　we　sell　it？〃　asked　Miss　Tita。



〃God　forbid！　　I　prefer　the　picture　to　the　money。〃



〃Well　then　keep　it。〃



〃You　are　very　generous。〃



〃So　are　you。〃



〃I　don't　know　why　you　should　think　so；〃　I　replied；　and　this

was　a　truthful　speech；　for　the　singular　creature　appeared

to　have　some　very　fine　reference　in　her　mind；　which　I　did

not　in　the　least　seize。



〃Well；　you　have　made　a　great　difference　for　me；〃　said　Miss　Tita。



I　looked　at　Jeffrey　Aspern's　face　in　the　little　picture；

partly　in　order　not　to　look　at　that　of　my　interlocutress；

which　had　begun　to　trouble　me；　even　to　frighten　me　a　little

it　was　so　self…conscious；　so　unnatural。　　I　made　no　answer　to　this

last　declaration；　I　only　privately　consulted　Jeffrey　Aspern's

delightful　eyes　with　my　own　（they　were　so　young　and　brilliant；

and　yet　so　wise；　so　full　of　vision）；　I　asked　him　what　on　earth

was　the　matter　with　Miss　Tita。　　He　seemed　to　smile　at　me

with　friendly　mockery；　as　if　he　were　amused　at　my　case。

I　had　got　into　a　pickle　for　himas　if　he　needed　it！

He　was　unsatisfactory；　for　the　only　moment　since　I　had

known　him。　　Nevertheless；　now　that　I　held　the　little　picture

in　my　hand　I　felt　that　it　would　be　a　precious　possession。

〃Is　this　a　bribe　to　make　me　give　up　the　papers？〃

I　demanded　in　a　moment；　perversely。　　〃Much　as　I　value　it；

if　I　were　to　be　obliged　to　choose；　the　papers　are　what　I

should　prefer。　　Ah；　but　ever　so　much！〃



〃How　can　you　choosehow　can　you　choose？〃　　Miss　Tita

asked；　slowly；　lamentably。



〃I　see！　　Of　course　there　is　nothing　to　be　said；　if　you　regard

the　interdiction　that　rests　upon　you　as　quite　insurmountable。

In　this　case　it　must　seem　to　you　that　to　part　with　them　would

be　an　impiety　of　the　worst　kind；　a　simple　sacrilege！〃



Miss　Tita　shook　her　head；　full　of　her　dolefulness。　　〃You　would　understand

if　you　had　known　her。　　I'm　afraid；〃　she　quavered　suddenly〃I'm　afraid！

She　was　terrible　when　she　was　angry。〃



〃Yes；　I　saw　something　of　that；　that　night。　　She　was　terrible。

Then　I　saw　her　eyes。　　Lord；　they　were　fine！〃



〃I　see　themthey　stare　at　me　in　the　dark！〃　said　Miss　Tita。



〃You　are　nervous；　with　all　you　have　been　through。〃



〃Oh；　yes；　veryvery！〃



〃You　mustn't　mind；　that　will　pass　away；〃　I　said；　kindly。

Then　I　added；　resignedly；　for　it　really　seemed　to　me　that　I　must

accept　the　situation；　〃Well；　so　it　is；　and　it　can't　be　helped。

I　must　renounce。〃　　Miss　Tita；　at　this；　looking　at　me；　gave　a　low；

soft　moan；　and　I　went　on：　　〃I　only　wish　to　heaven　she　had

destroyed　them；　then　there　would　be　nothing　more　to　say。

And　I　can't　understand　why；　with　her　ideas；　she　didn't。〃



〃Oh；　she　lived　on　them！〃　said　Miss　Tita。



〃You　can　imagine　whether　that　makes　me　want　less　to　see　them；〃

I　answered；　smiling。　　〃But　don't　let　me　stand　here　as　if　I

had　it　in　my　soul　to　tempt　you　to　do　anything　base。

Naturally　you　will　understand　if　I　give　up　my　rooms。

I　leave　Venice　immediately。〃　　And　I　took　up　my　hat；　which　I

had　placed　on　a　chair。　　We　were　still　there　rather　awkwardly；

on　our　feet；　in　the　middle　of　the　sala。　　She　had　left

the　door　of　the　apartments　open　behind　her　but　she　had　not　led

me　that　way。



A　kind　of　spasm　came　into　her　face　as　she　saw　me　take　my　hat。

〃Immediatelydo　you　mean　today？〃　　The　tone　of　the　words　was　tragical

they　were　a　cry　of　desolation。



〃Oh；　no；　not　so　long　as　I　can　be　of　the　least　service　to　you。〃



〃Well；　just　a　day　or　two　morejust　two　or　three　days；〃　she　panted。

Then　controlling　herself；　she　added　in　another　manner；　〃She　wanted

to　say　something　to　methe　last　daysomething　very　particular；

but　she　couldn't。〃



〃Something　very　particular？〃



〃Something　more　about　the　papers。〃



〃And　did　you　guesshave　you　any　idea？〃



〃No；　I　have　thoughtbut　I　don't　know。　　I　have　thought　all　kinds　of　things。〃



〃And　for　instance？〃



〃Well；　that　if　you　were　a　relation　it　would　be　different。〃



〃If　I　were　a　relation？〃



〃If　you　were　not　a　stranger。　　Then　it　would　be　the　same　for　you　as　for　me。

Anything　that　is　minewould　be　yours；　and　you　could　do　what　you　like。

I　couldn't　prevent　youand　you　would　have　no　responsibility。〃



She　brought　out　this　droll　explanation　with　a　little　nervous　rush；

as　if　she　were　speaking　words　she　had　got　by　heart。　　They　gave

me　an　impression　of　subtlety　and　at　first　I　failed　to　follow。

But　after　a　moment　her　face　helped　me　to　see　further；

and　then　a　light　came　into　my　mind。　　It　was　embarrassing；

and　I　bent　my　head　over　Jeffrey　Aspern's　portrait。

What　an　odd　expression　was　in　his　face！　　〃Get　out　of　it　as

you　can；　my　dear　fellow！〃　　I　put　the　picture　into　the　pocket

of　my　coat　and　said　to　Miss　Tita；　〃Yes；