太子爷小说网 > 英语电子书 > the aspern papers >

第20节

the aspern papers-第20节

小说: the aspern papers 字数: 每页4000字

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页,按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页,按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部!
————未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!




ought to have led me to go out as I had come。  I must repeat again that it

did not; for I found myself at the same moment thinking of something else。

I had no definite purpose; no bad intention; but I felt myself held

to the spot by an acute; though absurd; sense of opportunity。

For what I could not have said; inasmuch as it was not in my mind

that I might commit a theft。  Even if it had been I was confronted

with the evident fact that Miss Bordereau did not leave her secretary;

her cupboard; and the drawers of her tables gaping。  I had no keys;

no tools; and no ambition to smash her furniture。  Nonetheless it came

to me that I was now; perhaps alone; unmolested; at the hour of temptation

and secrecy; nearer to the tormenting treasure than I had ever been。

I held up my lamp; let the light play on the different objects as if it

could tell me something。  Still there came no movement from the other room。

If Miss Tita was sleeping she was sleeping sound。  Was she doing so

generous creatureon purpose to leave me the field?  Did she know

I was there and was she just keeping quiet to see what I would do

what I COULD do?  But what could I do; when it came to that?

She herself knew even better than I how little。



I stopped in front of the secretary; looking at it

very idiotically; for what had it to say to me after all?

In the first place it was locked; and in the second it

almost surely contained nothing in which I was interested。

Ten to one the papers had been destroyed; and even if they

had not been destroyed the old woman would not have put them

in such a place as that after removing them from the green trunk

would not have transferred them; if she had the idea of their

safety on her brain; from the better hiding place to the worse。

The secretary was more conspicuous; more accessible

in a room in which she could no longer mount guard。

It opened with a key; but there was a little brass handle;

like a button; as well; I saw this as I played my lamp over it。

I did something more than this at that moment:

I caught a glimpse of the possibility that Miss Tita wished me

really to understand。  If she did not wish me to understand;

if she wished me to keep away; why had she not locked the door

of communication between the sitting room and the sala?  That

would have been a definite sign that I was to leave them alone。

If I did not leave them alone she meant me to come for a purpose

a purpose now indicated by the quick; fantastic idea that to oblige

me she had unlocked the secretary。  She had not left the key;

but the lid would probably move if I touched the button。

This theory fascinated me; and I bent over very close to judge。

I did not propose to do anything; not evennot in the least

to let down the lid; I only wanted to test my theory;

to see if the cover WOULD move。  I touched the button

with my handa mere touch would tell me; and as I did so (it is

embarrassing for me to relate it); I looked over my shoulder。

It was a chance; an instinct; for I had not heard anything。

I almost let my luminary drop and certainly I stepped back;

straightening myself up at what I saw。  Miss Bordereau stood

there in her nightdress; in the doorway of her room; watching me;

her hands were raised; she had lifted the everlasting

curtain that covered half her face; and for the first;

the last; the only time I beheld her extraordinary eyes。

They glared at me; they made me horribly ashamed。

I never shall forget her strange little bent white tottering

figure; with its lifted head; her attitude; her expression;

neither shall I forget the tone in which as I turned;

looking at her; she hissed out passionately; furiously:



〃Ah; you publishing scoundrel!〃



I know not what I stammered; to excuse myself; to explain;

but I went toward her; to tell her I meant no harm。

She waved me off with her old hands; retreating before me in horror;

and the next thing I knew she had fallen back with a quick spasm;

as if death had descended on her; into Miss Tita's arms。







                           IX





I left Venice the next morning; as soon as I learned that the old

lady had not succumbed; as I feared at the moment; to the shock

I had given herthe shock I may also say she had given me。

How in the world could I have supposed her capable of getting out

of bed by herself?  I failed to see Miss Tita before going; I only saw

the donna; whom I entrusted with a note for her younger mistress。

In this note I mentioned that I should be absent but for a few days。

I went to Treviso; to Bassano; to Castelfranco; I took walks and drives and

looked at musty old churches with ill…lighted pictures and spent hours seated

smoking at the doors of cafes; where there were flies and yellow curtains;

on the shady side of sleepy little squares。  In spite of these pastimes;

which were mechanical and perfunctory; I scantily enjoyed my journey:

there was too strong a taste of the disagreeable in my life。

I had been devilish awkward; as the young men say; to be found by Miss

Bordereau in the dead of night examining the attachment of her bureau;

and it had not been less so to have to believe for a good many hours

afterward that it was highly probable I had killed her。  In writing

to Miss Tita I attempted to minimize these irregularities; but as she gave

me no word of answer I could not know what impression I made upon her。

It rankled in my mind that I had been called a publishing scoundrel;

for certainly I did publish and certainly I had not been very delicate。

There was a moment when I stood convinced that the only way to make up

for this latter fault was to take myself away altogether on the instant;

to sacrifice my hopes and relieve the two poor women forever of the oppression

of my intercourse。  Then I reflected that I had better try a short

absence first; for I must already have had a sense (unexpressed and dim)

that in disappearing completely it would not be merely my own hopes that I

should condemn to extinction。  It would perhaps be sufficient if I stayed

away long enough to give the elder lady time to think she was rid of me。

That she would wish to be rid of me after this (if I was not rid of her)

was now not to be doubted:  that nocturnal scene would have cured her

of the disposition to put up with my company for the sake of my dollars。

I said to myself that after all I could not abandon Miss Tita; and I continued

to say this even while I observed that she quite failed to comply with my

earnest request (I had given her two or three addresses; at little towns;

post restante) that she would let me know how she was getting on。

I would have made my servant write to me but that he was unable to manage

a pen。  It struck me there was a kind of scorn in Miss Tita's silence

(little disdainful as she had ever been); so that I was uncomfortable

and sore。  I had scruples about going back and yet I had others

about not doing so; for I wanted to put myself on a better footing。

The end of it was that I did return to Venice on the twelfth day;

and as my gondola gently bumped against Miss Bordereau's steps a certain

palpitation of suspense told me that I had done myself a violence

in holding off so long。



I had faced about so abruptly that I had not telegraphed to my servant。

He was therefore not at the station to meet me; but he poked

out his head from an upper window when I reached the house。

〃They have put her into the earth; la vecchia;〃 he said to me

in the lower hall; while he shouldered my valise; and he grinned

and almost winked; as if he knew I should be pleased at the news。



〃She's dead!〃  I exclaimed; giving him a very different look。



〃So it appears; since they have buried her。〃



〃It's all over?  When was the funeral?〃



〃The other yesterday。  But a funeral you could scarcely

call it; signore; it was a dull little passeggio of two gondolas。

Poveretta!〃 the man continued; referring apparently to Miss Tita。

His conception of funerals was apparently that they were mainly

to amuse the living。



I wanted to know about Miss Titahow she was and where she was

but I asked him no more questions till we had got upstairs。

Now that the fact had met me I took a bad view of it;

especially of the idea that poor Miss Tita had had to manage

by herself after the end。  What did she know about arrangements;

about the steps to take in such a case?  Poveretta indeed!

I could only hope that the doctor had given her assistance

and that she had not been neglected by the old friends

of whom she had told me; the little band of the faithful

whose fidelity consisted in coming to the house once a year。

I elicited from my servant that two old ladies and an old gentleman

had in fact rallied round Miss Tita and had supported her

(they had come for her in a gondola of their own) during the

journey to the cemetery; the little red…walled island of tombs

which lies to the north of the town; on the way to Mu

返回目录 上一页 下一页 回到顶部 0 0

你可能喜欢的