the aspern papers-第13节
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onDO they go on? The sun set for me so long ago。
But that's not a reason。 Besides; I shall never miss you;
you think you are too important。 Take her to the Piazza;
it used to be very pretty;〃 Miss Bordereau continued; addressing
herself to me。 〃What have they done with the funny old church?
I hope it hasn't tumbled down。 let her look at the shops;
she may take some money; she may buy what she likes。〃
Poor Miss Tita had got up; discountenanced and helpless; and as we stood
there before her aunt it would certainly have seemed to a spectator
of the scene that the old woman was amusing herself at our expense。
Miss Tita protested; in a confusion of exclamations and murmurs;
but I lost no time in saying that if she would do me the honor to accept
the hospitality of my boat I would engage that she should not be bored。
Or if she did not want so much of my company the boat itself;
with the gondolier; was at her service; he was a capital oar
and she might have every confidence。 Miss Tita; without definitely
answering this speech; looked away from me; out of the window;
as if she were going to cry; and I remarked that once we had Miss
Bordereau's approval we could easily come to an understanding。
We would take an hour; whichever she liked; one of the very next days。
As I made my obeisance to the old lady I asked her if she would
kindly permit me to see her again。
For a moment she said nothing; then she inquired; 〃Is it very necessary
to your happiness?〃
〃It diverts me more than I can say。〃
〃You are wonderfully civil。 Don't you know it almost kills ME?〃
〃How can I believe that when I see you more animated; more brilliant
than when I came in?〃
〃That is very true; Aunt;〃 said Miss Tita。 I think it does you good。〃
〃Isn't it touching; the solicitude we each have that
the other shall enjoy herself?〃 sneered Miss Bordereau。
〃If you think me brilliant today you don't know what you
are talking about; you have never seen an agreeable woman。
Don't try to pay me a compliment; I have been spoiled;〃 she went on。
〃My door is shut; but you may sometimes knock。〃
With this she dismissed me; and I left the room。
The latch closed behind me; but Miss Tita; contrary to my hope;
had remained within。 I passed slowly across the hall
and before taking my way downstairs I waited a little。
My hope was answered; after a minute Miss Tita followed me。
〃That's a delightful idea about the Piazza;〃 I said。
〃When will you gotonight; tomorrow?〃
She had been disconcerted; as I have mentioned; but I had
already perceived and I was to observe again that when Miss Tita
was embarrassed she did not (as most women would have done)
turn away from you and try to escape; but came closer; as it were;
with a deprecating; clinging appeal to be spared; to be protected。
Her attitude was perpetually a sort of prayer for assistance;
for explanation; and yet no woman in the world could have been
less of a comedian。 From the moment you were kind to her she
depended on you absolutely; her self…consciousness dropped from
her and she took the greatest intimacy; the innocent intimacy
which was the only thing she could conceive; for granted。
She told me she did not know what had got into her aunt;
she had changed so quickly; she had got some idea。 I replied
that she must find out what the idea was and then let me know;
we would go and have an ice together at Florian's; and she
should tell me while we listened to the band。
〃Oh; it will take me a long time to find out!〃 she said; rather ruefully;
and she could promise me this satisfaction neither for that night nor for
the next。 I was patient now; however; for I felt that I had only to wait;
and in fact at the end of the week; one lovely evening after dinner;
she stepped into my gondola; to which in honor of the occasion I had
attached a second oar。
We swept in the course of five minutes into the Grand Canal;
whereupon she uttered a murmur of ecstasy as fresh as if she
had been a tourist just arrived。 She had forgotten how splendid
the great waterway looked on a clear; hot summer evening;
and how the sense of floating between marble palaces and
reflected lights disposed the mind to sympathetic talk。
We floated long and far; and though Miss Tita gave no high…pitched
voice to her satisfaction I felt that she surrendered herself。
She was more than pleased; she was transported; the whole thing
was an immense liberation。 The gondola moved with slow strokes;
to give her time to enjoy it; and she listened to the plash
of the oars; which grew louder and more musically liquid as we
passed into narrow canals; as if it were a revelation of Venice。
When I asked her how long it was since she had been in a boat
she answered; 〃Oh; I don't know; a long timenot since my aunt
began to be ill。〃 This was not the only example she gave me
of her extreme vagueness about the previous years and the line
which marked off the period when Miss Bordereau flourished。
I was not at liberty to keep her out too long; but we
took a considerable GIRL before going to the Piazza。
I asked her no questions; keeping the conversation on purpose
away from her domestic situation and the things I wanted to know;
I poured treasures of information about Venice into her ears;
described Florence and Rome; discoursed to her on the charms
and advantages of travel。 She reclined; receptive; on the deep
leather cushions; turned her eyes conscientiously to everything
I pointed out to her; and never mentioned to me till sometime
afterward that she might be supposed to know Florence better
than I; as she had lived there for years with Miss Bordereau。
At last she asked; with the shy impatience of a child; 〃Are we
not really going to the Piazza? That's what I want to see!〃
I immediately gave the order that we should go straight;
and then we sat silent with the expectation of arrival。
As some time still passed; however; she said suddenly; of her
own movement; 〃I have found out what is the matter with my aunt:
she is afraid you will go!〃
〃What has put that into her head?〃
〃She has had an idea you have not been happy。 That is why
she is different now。〃
〃You mean she wants to make me happier?〃
〃Well; she wants you not to go; she wants you to stay。〃
〃I suppose you mean on account of the rent;〃 I remarked candidly。
Miss Tita's candor showed itself a match for my own。
〃Yes; you know; so that I shall have more。〃
〃How much does she want you to have?〃 I asked; laughing。
〃She ought to fix the sum; so that I may stay till it's made up。〃
〃Oh; that wouldn't please me;〃 said Miss Tita。 〃It would be unheard of;
your taking that trouble。〃
〃But suppose I should have my own reasons for staying in Venice?〃
〃Then it would be better for you to stay in some other house。〃
〃And what would your aunt say to that?〃
〃She wouldn't like it at all。 But I should think you would do well to give
up your reasons and go away altogether。〃
〃Dear Miss Tita;〃 I said; 〃it's not so easy to give them up!〃
She made no immediate answer to this; but after a moment she broke out:
〃I think I know what your reasons are!〃
〃I daresay; because the other night I almost told you how I wish
you would help me to make them good。〃
〃I can't do that without being false to my aunt。〃
〃What do you mean; being false to her?〃
〃Why; she would never consent to what you want。 She has been asked;
she has been written to。 It made her fearfully angry。〃
〃Then she HAS got papers of value?〃 I demanded quickly。
〃Oh; she has got everything!〃 sighed Miss Tita with a curious weariness;
a sudden lapse into gloom。
These words caused all my pulses to throb; for I regarded them
as precious evidence。 For some minutes I was too agitated to speak;
and in the interval the gondola approached the Piazzetta。
After we had disembarked I asked my companion whether she would
rather walk round the square or go and sit at the door of the cafe;
to which she replied that she would do whichever I liked best
I must only remember again how little time she had。 I assured her there
was plenty to do both; and we made the circuit of the long arcades。
Her spirits revived at the sight of the bright shop windows; and she
lingered and stopped; admiring or disapproving of their contents;
asking me what I thought of things; theorizing about prices。
My attention wandered from her; her words of a while before;
〃Oh; she has got everything!〃 echoed so in my consciousness。
We sat down at last in the crowded circle at Florian's; finding
an unoccupied table among those that were ranged in the square。
It was a splendid night and all the world was out…of…doors;
Miss Tita could not have wished the elements more auspicuous for
her return to society。 I saw that she enjoyed it even more than
she told; she was agitated with the multitude of her impressio