the aspern papers-第13节

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onDO　they　go　on？　　The　sun　set　for　me　so　long　ago。

But　that's　not　a　reason。　　Besides；　I　shall　never　miss　you；

you　think　you　are　too　important。　　Take　her　to　the　Piazza；

it　used　to　be　very　pretty；〃　Miss　Bordereau　continued；　addressing

herself　to　me。　　〃What　have　they　done　with　the　funny　old　church？

I　hope　it　hasn't　tumbled　down。　　let　her　look　at　the　shops；

she　may　take　some　money；　she　may　buy　what　she　likes。〃



Poor　Miss　Tita　had　got　up；　discountenanced　and　helpless；　and　as　we　stood

there　before　her　aunt　it　would　certainly　have　seemed　to　a　spectator

of　the　scene　that　the　old　woman　was　amusing　herself　at　our　expense。

Miss　Tita　protested；　in　a　confusion　of　exclamations　and　murmurs；

but　I　lost　no　time　in　saying　that　if　she　would　do　me　the　honor　to　accept

the　hospitality　of　my　boat　I　would　engage　that　she　should　not　be　bored。

Or　if　she　did　not　want　so　much　of　my　company　the　boat　itself；

with　the　gondolier；　was　at　her　service；　he　was　a　capital　oar

and　she　might　have　every　confidence。　　Miss　Tita；　without　definitely

answering　this　speech；　looked　away　from　me；　out　of　the　window；

as　if　she　were　going　to　cry；　and　I　remarked　that　once　we　had　Miss

Bordereau's　approval　we　could　easily　come　to　an　understanding。

We　would　take　an　hour；　whichever　she　liked；　one　of　the　very　next　days。

As　I　made　my　obeisance　to　the　old　lady　I　asked　her　if　she　would

kindly　permit　me　to　see　her　again。



For　a　moment　she　said　nothing；　then　she　inquired；　〃Is　it　very　necessary

to　your　happiness？〃



〃It　diverts　me　more　than　I　can　say。〃



〃You　are　wonderfully　civil。　　Don't　you　know　it　almost　kills　ME？〃



〃How　can　I　believe　that　when　I　see　you　more　animated；　more　brilliant

than　when　I　came　in？〃



〃That　is　very　true；　Aunt；〃　said　Miss　Tita。　　I　think　it　does　you　good。〃



〃Isn't　it　touching；　the　solicitude　we　each　have　that

the　other　shall　enjoy　herself？〃　sneered　Miss　Bordereau。

〃If　you　think　me　brilliant　today　you　don't　know　what　you

are　talking　about；　you　have　never　seen　an　agreeable　woman。

Don't　try　to　pay　me　a　compliment；　I　have　been　spoiled；〃　she　went　on。

〃My　door　is　shut；　but　you　may　sometimes　knock。〃



With　this　she　dismissed　me；　and　I　left　the　room。

The　latch　closed　behind　me；　but　Miss　Tita；　contrary　to　my　hope；

had　remained　within。　　I　passed　slowly　across　the　hall

and　before　taking　my　way　downstairs　I　waited　a　little。

My　hope　was　answered；　after　a　minute　Miss　Tita　followed　me。

〃That's　a　delightful　idea　about　the　Piazza；〃　I　said。

〃When　will　you　gotonight；　tomorrow？〃



She　had　been　disconcerted；　as　I　have　mentioned；　but　I　had

already　perceived　and　I　was　to　observe　again　that　when　Miss　Tita

was　embarrassed　she　did　not　（as　most　women　would　have　done）

turn　away　from　you　and　try　to　escape；　but　came　closer；　as　it　were；

with　a　deprecating；　clinging　appeal　to　be　spared；　to　be　protected。

Her　attitude　was　perpetually　a　sort　of　prayer　for　assistance；

for　explanation；　and　yet　no　woman　in　the　world　could　have　been

less　of　a　comedian。　　From　the　moment　you　were　kind　to　her　she

depended　on　you　absolutely；　her　self…consciousness　dropped　from

her　and　she　took　the　greatest　intimacy；　the　innocent　intimacy

which　was　the　only　thing　she　could　conceive；　for　granted。

She　told　me　she　did　not　know　what　had　got　into　her　aunt；

she　had　changed　so　quickly；　she　had　got　some　idea。　　I　replied

that　she　must　find　out　what　the　idea　was　and　then　let　me　know；

we　would　go　and　have　an　ice　together　at　Florian's；　and　she

should　tell　me　while　we　listened　to　the　band。



〃Oh；　it　will　take　me　a　long　time　to　find　out！〃　she　said；　rather　ruefully；

and　she　could　promise　me　this　satisfaction　neither　for　that　night　nor　for

the　next。　　I　was　patient　now；　however；　for　I　felt　that　I　had　only　to　wait；

and　in　fact　at　the　end　of　the　week；　one　lovely　evening　after　dinner；

she　stepped　into　my　gondola；　to　which　in　honor　of　the　occasion　I　had

attached　a　second　oar。



We　swept　in　the　course　of　five　minutes　into　the　Grand　Canal；

whereupon　she　uttered　a　murmur　of　ecstasy　as　fresh　as　if　she

had　been　a　tourist　just　arrived。　　She　had　forgotten　how　splendid

the　great　waterway　looked　on　a　clear；　hot　summer　evening；

and　how　the　sense　of　floating　between　marble　palaces　and

reflected　lights　disposed　the　mind　to　sympathetic　talk。

We　floated　long　and　far；　and　though　Miss　Tita　gave　no　high…pitched

voice　to　her　satisfaction　I　felt　that　she　surrendered　herself。

She　was　more　than　pleased；　she　was　transported；　the　whole　thing

was　an　immense　liberation。　　The　gondola　moved　with　slow　strokes；

to　give　her　time　to　enjoy　it；　and　she　listened　to　the　plash

of　the　oars；　which　grew　louder　and　more　musically　liquid　as　we

passed　into　narrow　canals；　as　if　it　were　a　revelation　of　Venice。

When　I　asked　her　how　long　it　was　since　she　had　been　in　a　boat

she　answered；　〃Oh；　I　don't　know；　a　long　timenot　since　my　aunt

began　to　be　ill。〃　　This　was　not　the　only　example　she　gave　me

of　her　extreme　vagueness　about　the　previous　years　and　the　line

which　marked　off　the　period　when　Miss　Bordereau　flourished。

I　was　not　at　liberty　to　keep　her　out　too　long；　but　we

took　a　considerable　GIRL　before　going　to　the　Piazza。

I　asked　her　no　questions；　keeping　the　conversation　on　purpose

away　from　her　domestic　situation　and　the　things　I　wanted　to　know；

I　poured　treasures　of　information　about　Venice　into　her　ears；

described　Florence　and　Rome；　discoursed　to　her　on　the　charms

and　advantages　of　travel。　　She　reclined；　receptive；　on　the　deep

leather　cushions；　turned　her　eyes　conscientiously　to　everything

I　pointed　out　to　her；　and　never　mentioned　to　me　till　sometime

afterward　that　she　might　be　supposed　to　know　Florence　better

than　I；　as　she　had　lived　there　for　years　with　Miss　Bordereau。

At　last　she　asked；　with　the　shy　impatience　of　a　child；　〃Are　we

not　really　going　to　the　Piazza？　　That's　what　I　want　to　see！〃

I　immediately　gave　the　order　that　we　should　go　straight；

and　then　we　sat　silent　with　the　expectation　of　arrival。

As　some　time　still　passed；　however；　she　said　suddenly；　of　her

own　movement；　〃I　have　found　out　what　is　the　matter　with　my　aunt：

she　is　afraid　you　will　go！〃



〃What　has　put　that　into　her　head？〃



〃She　has　had　an　idea　you　have　not　been　happy。　　That　is　why

she　is　different　now。〃



〃You　mean　she　wants　to　make　me　happier？〃



〃Well；　she　wants　you　not　to　go；　she　wants　you　to　stay。〃



〃I　suppose　you　mean　on　account　of　the　rent；〃　I　remarked　candidly。



Miss　Tita's　candor　showed　itself　a　match　for　my　own。

〃Yes；　you　know；　so　that　I　shall　have　more。〃



〃How　much　does　she　want　you　to　have？〃　　I　asked；　laughing。

〃She　ought　to　fix　the　sum；　so　that　I　may　stay　till　it's　made　up。〃



〃Oh；　that　wouldn't　please　me；〃　said　Miss　Tita。　　〃It　would　be　unheard　of；

your　taking　that　trouble。〃



〃But　suppose　I　should　have　my　own　reasons　for　staying　in　Venice？〃



〃Then　it　would　be　better　for　you　to　stay　in　some　other　house。〃



〃And　what　would　your　aunt　say　to　that？〃



〃She　wouldn't　like　it　at　all。　　But　I　should　think　you　would　do　well　to　give

up　your　reasons　and　go　away　altogether。〃



〃Dear　Miss　Tita；〃　I　said；　〃it's　not　so　easy　to　give　them　up！〃



She　made　no　immediate　answer　to　this；　but　after　a　moment　she　broke　out：

〃I　think　I　know　what　your　reasons　are！〃



〃I　daresay；　because　the　other　night　I　almost　told　you　how　I　wish

you　would　help　me　to　make　them　good。〃



〃I　can't　do　that　without　being　false　to　my　aunt。〃



〃What　do　you　mean；　being　false　to　her？〃



〃Why；　she　would　never　consent　to　what　you　want。　　She　has　been　asked；

she　has　been　written　to。　　It　made　her　fearfully　angry。〃



〃Then　she　HAS　got　papers　of　value？〃　　I　demanded　quickly。



〃Oh；　she　has　got　everything！〃　sighed　Miss　Tita　with　a　curious　weariness；

a　sudden　lapse　into　gloom。



These　words　caused　all　my　pulses　to　throb；　for　I　regarded　them

as　precious　evidence。　　For　some　minutes　I　was　too　agitated　to　speak；

and　in　the　interval　the　gondola　approached　the　Piazzetta。

After　we　had　disembarked　I　asked　my　companion　whether　she　would

rather　walk　round　the　square　or　go　and　sit　at　the　door　of　the　cafe；

to　which　she　replied　that　she　would　do　whichever　I　liked　best

I　must　only　remember　again　how　little　time　she　had。　　I　assured　her　there

was　plenty　to　do　both；　and　we　made　the　circuit　of　the　long　arcades。

Her　spirits　revived　at　the　sight　of　the　bright　shop　windows；　and　she

lingered　and　stopped；　admiring　or　disapproving　of　their　contents；

asking　me　what　I　thought　of　things；　theorizing　about　prices。

My　attention　wandered　from　her；　her　words　of　a　while　before；

〃Oh；　she　has　got　everything！〃　echoed　so　in　my　consciousness。

We　sat　down　at　last　in　the　crowded　circle　at　Florian's；　finding

an　unoccupied　table　among　those　that　were　ranged　in　the　square。

It　was　a　splendid　night　and　all　the　world　was　out…of…doors；

Miss　Tita　could　not　have　wished　the　elements　more　auspicuous　for

her　return　to　society。　　I　saw　that　she　enjoyed　it　even　more　than

she　told；　she　was　agitated　with　the　multitude　of　her　impressio