50 bab ballads-第8节
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The girls were amused at his singular spleen;
Especially ELLEN McJONES ABERDEEN;
〃MACPHAIRSON CLONGLOCKETTY ANGUS; my lad;
With pibrochs and reels you are driving me mad。
If you really must play on that cursed affair;
My goodness! play something resembling an air。〃
Boiled over the blood of MACPHAIRSON McCLAN …
The Clan of Clonglocketty rose as one man;
For all were enraged at the insult; I ween …
Especially ELLEN McJONES ABERDEEN。
〃Let's show;〃 said McCLAN; 〃to this Sassenach loon
That the bagpipes CAN play him a regular tune。
Let's see;〃 said McCLAN; as he thoughtfully sat;
〃'IN MY COTTAGE' is easy … I'll practise at that。〃
He blew at his 〃Cottage;〃 and blew with a will;
For a year; seven months; and a fortnight; until
(You'll hardly believe it) McCLAN; I declare;
Elicited something resembling an air。
It was wild … it was fitful … as wild as the breeze …
It wandered about into several keys;
It was jerky; spasmodic; and harsh; I'm aware;
But still it distinctly suggested an air。
The Sassenach screamed; and the Sassenach danced;
He shrieked in his agony … bellowed and pranced;
And the maidens who gathered rejoiced at the scene …
Especially ELLEN McJONES ABERDEEN。
〃Hech gather; hech gather; hech gather around;
And fill a' ye lugs wi' the exquisite sound。
An air fra' the bagpipes … beat that if ye can!
Hurrah for CLONGLOCKETTY ANGUS McCLAN!〃
The fame of his piping spread over the land:
Respectable widows proposed for his hand;
And maidens came flocking to sit on the green …
Especially ELLEN McJONES ABERDEEN。
One morning the fidgety Sassenach swore
He'd stand it no longer … he drew his claymore;
And (this was; I think; in extremely bad taste)
Divided CLONGLOCKETTY close to the waist。
Oh! loud were the wailings for ANGUS McCLAN;
Oh! deep was the grief for that excellent man;
The maids stood aghast at the horrible scene …
Especially ELLEN McJONES ABERDEEN。
It sorrowed poor PATTISON CORBY TORBAY
To find them 〃take on〃 in this serious way;
He pitied the poor little fluttering birds;
And solaced their souls with the following words:
〃Oh; maidens;〃 said PATTISON; touching his hat;
〃Don't blubber; my dears; for a fellow like that;
Observe; I'm a very superior man;
A much better fellow than ANGUS McCLAN。〃
They smiled when he winked and addressed them as 〃dears;〃
And they all of them vowed; as they dried up their tears;
A pleasanter gentleman never was seen …
Especially ELLEN McJONES ABERDEEN。
Ballad: PETER THE WAG。
POLICEMAN PETER FORTH I drag
From his obscure retreat:
He was a merry genial wag;
Who loved a mad conceit。
If he were asked the time of day;
By country bumpkins green;
He not unfrequently would say;
〃A quarter past thirteen。〃
If ever you by word of mouth
Inquired of MISTER FORTH
The way to somewhere in the South;
He always sent you North。
With little boys his beat along
He loved to stop and play;
He loved to send old ladies wrong;
And teach their feet to stray。
He would in frolic moments; when
Such mischief bent upon;
Take Bishops up as betting men …
Bid Ministers move on。
Then all the worthy boys he knew
He regularly licked;
And always collared people who
Had had their pockets picked。
He was not naturally bad;
Or viciously inclined;
But from his early youth he had
A waggish turn of mind。
The Men of London grimly scowled
With indignation wild;
The Men of London gruffly growled;
But PETER calmly smiled。
Against this minion of the Crown
The swelling murmurs grew …
From Camberwell to Kentish Town …
From Rotherhithe to Kew。
Still humoured he his wagsome turn;
And fed in various ways
The coward rage that dared to burn;
But did not dare to blaze。
Still; Retribution has her day;
Although her flight is slow:
ONE DAY THAT CRUSHER LOST HIS WAY
NEAR POLAND STREET; SOHO。
The haughty boy; too proud to ask;
To find his way resolved;
And in the tangle of his task
Got more and more involved。
The Men of London; overjoyed;
Came there to jeer their foe;
And flocking crowds completely cloyed
The mazes of Soho。
The news on telegraphic wires
Sped swiftly o'er the lea;
Excursion trains from distant shires
Brought myriads to see。
For weeks he trod his self…made beats
Through Newport… Gerrard… Bear…
Greek… Rupert… Frith… Dean… Poland… Streets;
And into Golden Square。
But all; alas! in vain; for when
He tried to learn the way
Of little boys or grown…up men;
They none of them would say。
Their eyes would flash … their teeth would grind …
Their lips would tightly curl …
They'd say; 〃Thy way thyself must find;
Thou misdirecting churl!〃
And; similarly; also; when
He tried a foreign friend;
Italians answered; 〃IL BALEN〃 …
The French; 〃No comprehend。〃
The Russ would say with gleaming eye
〃 Sevastopol!〃 and groan。
The Greek said; 'GREEK TEXT WHICH CANNOT
BE REPRODUCED'。〃
To wander thus for many a year
That Crusher never ceased …
The Men of London dropped a tear;
Their anger was appeased
At length exploring gangs were sent
To find poor FORTH'S remains …
A handsome grant by Parliament
Was voted for their pains。
To seek the poor policeman out
Bold spirits volunteered;
And when they swore they'd solve the doubt;
The Men of London cheered。
And in a yard; dark; dank; and drear;
They found him; on the floor …
It leads from Richmond Buildings … near
The Royalty stage…door。
With brandy cold and brandy hot
They plied him; starved and wet;
And made him sergeant on the spot …
The Men of London's pet!
Ballad: TO THE TERRESTRIAL GLOBE。 BY A MISERABLE WRETCH。
ROLL on; thou ball; roll on!
Through pathless realms of Space
Roll on!
What though I'm in a sorry case?
What though I cannot meet my bills?
What though I suffer toothache's ills?
What though I swallow countless pills?
Never YOU mind!
Roll on!
Roll on; thou ball; roll on!
Through seas of inky air
Roll on!
It's true I've got no shirts to wear;
It's true my butcher's bill is due;
It's true my prospects all look blue …
But don't let that unsettle you!
Never YOU mind!
Roll on!
'IT ROLLS ON。
Ballad: GENTLE ALICE BROWN。
IT was a robber's daughter; and her name was ALICE BROWN;
Her father was the terror of a small Italian town;
Her mother was a foolish; weak; but amiable old thing;
But it isn't of her parents that I'm going for to sing。
As ALICE was a…sitting at her window…sill one day;
A beautiful young gentleman he chanced to pass that way;
She cast her eyes upon him; and he looked so good and true;
That she thought; 〃I could be happy with a gentleman like you!〃
And every morning passed her house that cream of gentlemen;
She knew she might expect him at a quarter unto ten;
A sorter in the Custom…house; it was his daily road
(The Custom…house was fifteen minutes' walk from her abode)。
But ALICE was a pious girl; who knew it wasn't wise
To look at strange young sorters with expressive purple eyes;
So she sought the village priest to whom her family confessed;
The priest by whom their little sins were carefully assessed。
〃Oh; holy father;〃 ALICE said; 〃't would grieve you; would it not;
To discover that I was a most disreputable lot?
Of all unhappy sinners I'm the most unhappy one!〃
The padre said; 〃Whatever have you been and gone and done?〃
〃I have helped mamma to steal a little kiddy from its dad;
I've assisted dear papa in cutting up a little lad;
I've planned a little burglary and forged a little cheque;
And slain a little baby for the coral on its neck!〃
The worthy pastor heaved a sigh; and dropped a silent tear;
And said; 〃You mustn't judge yourself too heavily; my dear:
It's wrong to murder babies; little corals for to fleece;
But sins like these one expiates at half…a…crown apiece。
〃Girls will be girls … you're very young; and flighty in your mind;
Old heads upon young shoulders we must not expect to find:
We mustn't be too hard upon these little girlish tricks …
Let's see … five crimes at half…a…crown … exactly twelve…and…six。〃
〃Oh; father;〃 little Alice cried; 〃your kindness makes me weep;
You do these little things for me so singularly cheap …
Your thoughtful liberality I never can forget;
But; oh! there is another crime I haven't mentioned yet!
〃A pleasant…looking gentleman; with pretty purple eyes;
I've noticed at my window; as I've sat a…catching flies;
He passes by it every day as certain as can be …
I blush to say I've winked at him; and he has winked at me!〃
〃For shame!〃 said FATHER PAUL; 〃my erring daughter! On my word
This is the most distressing news that I have ever heard。
Why; naughty girl; your excellent papa has pledged your hand
To a promising young robber; the lieuten