questionable amusements and worthy substitutes-第16节

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a　surprise；　mingled　with　mystery　and　delight。　　But　with　what　increased

surprise　and　delight　does　one　meet　with　a　〃person　after　his　own　heart。〃

All　men　have　recognized　the　strength　and　beauty　of　right　self…love。

The　second　great　law　of　Christ's　kingdom　is　declared　in　terms　of　true

self…love。　　〃Love　thy　neighbor　as　thyself。〃　　Every　one　loves　himself；

because　one's　self　is　the　truest　and　best　of　other　lives　filtered　through

his　own　soul。　　When　one　finds　in　another　that　which　perfectly　answers

to　his　own　soul…likings　and　longings；　he　has　found　another　self；　he　has

found　a　friend。　　Friendship　is　the　communion　of　such　souls；　although

they　may　be　absent　from　one　another。　　The　highest　friendship　may　grow

more　perfectly　when　friends　are　separated；　then　it　is　unmixed　with　the

alloy　of　imperfect　thought　and　action。　　Then　it　is　nourished　by　the　past；

for　only　the　past　buries　all　faults；　it　is　encouraged　by　the　future；　for

only　the　future　veils　the　awkwardness　and　shortcomings　of　the　present。

The　character　of　friendship　is　determined　by　the　character　of　friends。

Negative　personalities　wanting　in　taste；　conviction；　and　virtue　produce

only　a　negative　friendship。　　Intense　personalities　produce　intense

friendships；　noble　personalities；　noble　friendships；　and　spiritual

personalities；　spiritual　friendship。　　In　the　true；　spiritual　sense；　before

one　can　become　a　friend；　he　must　become　an　individual。　　He　must

stand　for　something　in　thought　and　purpose。　　If　this　is　not　true；

friendship　becomes　a　flimsy　affair。　　For　souls　to　commune　with　one

another　there　must　be　harmony；　unity；　agreement　of　desires；　sentiments；

and　tastes。　　Not　the　harmony　of　indifference；　nor　a　forced　agreement；　but

a　beautiful　and　natural　response　of　soul　to　soul。　　Such　equipment　for

friendship　finds　its　basis　only　in　individual　character。　　Character　is

conduct　become　habitual。　　If　one　spurns　reason；　and　follows　his　impulse

and　passion；　he　becomes　unreliable；　and　does　not　know　the　issues　of

his　own　heart　and　life。　　Who　knows　what　such　an　one　will　do　next？　　To

make　it　soar　well　or　sail　well；　friendship　must　have　ballast。　　This　ballast

is　worthy；　individual　character。　　It　would　be　more　exact　to　say　there　can

be　no　true　friendship　without　individual　character。　　Although　many

elements　constitute　the　character　of　the　true　friend；　yet　two　elements　are

essentialsincerity　and　tenderness。　　Sincerity　is　the　soul　of　every　virtue；

while　true　words；　simple　manners；　and　right　actions　make　up　the　body。

If　the　soul　of　virtue　is　present　one　does　not　always　demand　the　presence

of　the　body；　but　if　the　body　of　virtue　is　absent；　one　had　better　take　a

search　after　the　soul。　　If　sincerity　is　unquestioned；　words；　manners；

actions　have　great　liberty；　but　if　words；　manners　and　actions　are

lacking　in　straight…forwardness；　it　is　time　to　question　sincerity。　　This

is　true　in　all　human　affairs　involving　motive　and　conduct。　　Especially

is　it　true　in　friendship。　　Sincerity　knows　its　own。　　By　a　glance　it

penetrates　the　very　heart　of　its　true　friend；　and　leaves　translucent　and

transparent　its　own。　　Sincerity　gives　steadfastness　and　constancy　to

friendship。　　Insincerity　mars　and　breaks　friendship。　　Who　has　not

seen　a　soul　spring　into　life　through　the　love　of　a　radiant　friendship；

and　then　following　a　series　of　hollow　pretenses；　insincerities；　that

friendship　fails；　and　the　beautiful　creature　stifles　and　dies。　　As　one

tells　us；　〃such　a　death　is　frightful；　it　is　the　asphyxia　of　the　soul！〃　　Then；

tenderness　is　an　essential　element　in　the　character　of　a　friend。　　Says

Emerson：　　〃Notwithstanding　all　the　selfishness　that　chills　like　east

winds　the　world；　the　whole　human　family　is　bathed　with　an　element

of　love；　like　a　fine　ether。〃　　With　Emerson；　we　believe　that　every

person　carries　about　with　him　a　certain　circle　of　sympathy　within

which　he；　and　at　least　one　friend；　may　temper　and　sweeten　life。　　Much

of　the　kindness　of　the　world　is　simply　breathed；　and　yet　what　an　aroma

of　good　cheer　it　sheds　in　grateful　lives。　　Tenderness　possesses　a

sensitiveness　of　sympathy　to　an　extreme　degree。　　It　shrinks　from　the

sight　of　suffering。　　It　treats　others　with　〃gentleness；　delicacy；　thought…

fulness；　and　care。　　It　enters　into　feelings；　anticipates　wants；　supplies　the

smallest　pleasure；　and　studies　every　comfort。〃　　Says　one：　　〃It　belongs

to　natures；　refined　as　well　as　loving；　and　possesses　that　consideration　of

which　finer　dispositions　only　are　capable。〃　　Tenderness　is　a　heart

quality。　　It　is　the　luxury　of　a　pure　and　intense　friendship。　　It　tempers　one's

entire　nature；　making　his　whole　being　sympathetic　with　grace　and　favor。

It　is　manifest　in　the　relaxing　feature；　in　the　penetrating　glance；　in　the

mellowing　voice；　in　the　engracing　manners；　and　in　the　complete

obliteration　of　time　and　distance；　while　with　one's　friend。　　We　recall　the

friendly　visits　spend　with　our　friend；　Lawrence　W。　Rowell；　during　his

medical　course　in　Rush　College；　Chicago；　while　we　were　in　attendance

at　the　Northwestern　University；　in　Evanston；　Illinois。　　Rowell　was

intellectual；　spirited；　gifted　in　conversation；　highly　sympathetic；　informed；

critical；　yet　charitable；　a　close　student　of　human　nature；　a　love　of

philosophy；　of　musical　temperament；　of　noble　heart；　of　exalted　purpose。

Our　visits　were　kept　up　bimonthly　throughout　one　year。　　We　would　spent

Saturday　evening　and　Sunday　together。　　Those　visits　revealed　to　me　the

magnetism；　intensity；　and　tenderness　of　a　friend。　　Truly；　with　us　time　and

distance　were　almost　completely　obliterated　from　our　consciousness。　　I

say　distance；　for　we　would　walk　together。　　Tenderness　suits　the　amiable

and　gentle　in　disposition；　but　it　comes　with　a　peculiar　charm　from　the

austere　nature。　　It　is　one　of　the　stalwart　virtues；　and　is　often　concealed

behind　a　crusty　exterior。　　Severity　and　tenderness　adorn　the　greatest　lives。





THE　TEST　OF　FRIENDSHIP。



What　is　the　uncertain　mark　of　a　friend？　　Have　I　a　friend？　　How　many

friends　have　I？　　I　can　invoice　my　stock；　my　goods；　my　land；　my　money；

can　I　invoice　my　friends？　　One　may　not　always　know　the　actual　worth

of　a　friend；　but　he　knows　who　are　his　friends；　quite　as　well　as　he　knows

who　are　his　nephews　and　cousins。　　〃A　friend　is　one　whom　you　need　and

who　needs　you。〃　　Has　one　a　bit　of　good　news；　he　flies　to　his　friend；　he

wants　to　share　it。　　Has　one　a　sorrow；　he　seeks　his　friend　who　will　gladly

share　that。　　Does　one　meet　with　a　defeat　or　victory；　instantly　he　thinks

of　his　friend　and　of　how　it　will　effect　him。　　Friends　need　one　another；

as　truly　as　the　child　needs　its　mother；　or　the　mother　her　child。　　Is　one

tempted　to　commit　a　wrong　in　thought　or　action；　his　friend；　though

absent；　appears　at　his　side　and　begs　him　not　to　do　it。　　If　one　is　in　doubt

or　uncertainty；　he　summons　his　friend；　who　become　a　patient　reasoner；

and　an　impartial　judge。　　Who　does　not　find　himself；　daily；　looking

through　other　people's　glasses；　weighing　on　other　people's　scales；

sounding　other　people's　voices？　　It　is　a　habit　that　friends　have　with

one　another。　　You　can　not　deprive　friends　of　one　another；　any　more

than　you　can　lovers。　　Ah；　true　friends　are　lovers　of　the　heaven…born

sort；　for　their　agreement　is　grounded　in　nature。　　They　are　not　chosen；

they　are　discovered。　　Or；　as　Emerson　says；　they　are　〃self…elected。〃



　　　　　〃Friendship's　an　abstract　of　love's　noble　flame；

　　　　　　　　　　'Tis　love　refined；　and　purged　from　all　its　dross；

　　　　　　'Tis　next　to　angel's　love；　if　not　the　same；

　　　　　　　　　　As　strong　as　passion　in；　though　not　so　gross。〃



Thus　writes　Catherine　Phillips。





FRUITS　OF　FRIENDSHIP。



True　friendship　gives　ease　to　the　heart；　light　to　the　mind；　and　aid　to　the

carrying　out　of　one's　life…purposes。　　First；　ease　to　the　heart。　　The　presence

of　a　friend　is　a　beam　of　genial　sunshine　which　lights　up　the　house　by　his

very　appearance。　　He　warms　the　atmosphere　and　dispels　the　gloom。　　The

presence　of　a　true　friend　for　a　day；　a　night；　a　week；　lifts　one　out　of

himself；　links　him　with　new　purposes；　and　immerses　him　in　new　joys。

Friends　breathe　free　with　one　another。　　They　inspire　sighs　of　relief。

Embarrassment　disappears；　liberty　reigns　supreme。　　Hearts　are　like　steam

boilers；　occasionally；　they　must　give　vent　to　what　is　in　them；　or　they　will

burst。　　This　is　the　true　mission　of　friends；　to　become　to　one　another

reserve　reservoirs　of　〃griefs；　joys；　fears；　hopes；　suspicions；　counsels；　and

whatever　lieth　upon　the　heart　to　oppress　it；〃　or　elate　it。　　You　recall　those

familiar　lines　of　Bacon：　　〃This　communicating　of　a　man's　self　to　his

friends　works　two　contrary　effects；　for　it　redoubles　joys　and　cutteth

griefs　in　halves；　for　there　is　no　man　that　imparteth　his　joys　to　his　friend；

but　he　joyeth　the　more；　and　no　man　that　imparteth　his　griefs　to　his

friends；　but　he　grieveth　the　less。〃　　The　following　selected　lines；　slightly

changed；　set　forth　this　first　fruit　of　friendship。



　　　　〃A　true　friend　is　an　atmosphere

　　　　　　Warm　with　all　inspirations　dear；