questionable amusements and worthy substitutes-第15节

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serve；　is　laid　at　the　altar　of　pleasure　for　the　worthy　purpose　of　making

new　again　the　weary　body；　the　languishing　spirit；　the　lonely　heart。

Let　the　right　management　and　stimulus　be　given　to　this　resourceful

company；　and　the　hours　will　pass　as　moments；　the　surest　sign　of　a

good　time。





SOME　ESSENTIALS。



DINING；　SOCIAL　HOUR；　GAMES。



No　social　recreation　is　complete　without　dining。　　And　yet　the　least

important　part　of　this　meal　should　be　the　taking　of　food。　　It　is　a

serious　fault　with　the　modern　social　that　too　much　attention　is　given

to　the　variety　and　quantity　of　food；　and　not　enough　to　merriment　in

taking　it。　　To　be　successful；　the　social　company　should　gather　as

early　as　possible；　the　first　hour…and…a…half　should　be　given　to　greetings

and　to　social　levity　of　the　brightest　and　wittiest　sort。　　If　one　has　an

ache　or　a　pain；　a　care　or　a　loss；　let　it　be　forgotten　now。　　It　is　weakness

and　folly　continually　to　be　under　any　burden。　　Here　every　one　should

take　a　genuine　release　from　seriousness　and　earnestness　in　weighty

and　responsible　affairs。　　Let　all；　except　the　serving　committee　for

this　evening；　take　part　in　this　strictly　social　hour…and…a…half。　　When

the　late…comers　have　arrived　and　have　been　introduced；　and　the　people

have　moved　about　and　met　one　another；　almost　before　the　company

are　aware　of　it　they　are　invited　by　the　serving　committee　to　dine。

Usually　all　may　not　be　served　at　once。　　Now　that　the　company　has

been　thinned　out；　the　older　persons　having　gone　to　the　tables；　short；

spirited　games　should　be　introduced　in　which　every　person　not　at

luncheon；　should　be　given　a　place　and　a　part。　　At　this　juncture　it　is

not　best　to　introduce　sitting…games；　such　as　checkers；　authors；　caroms；

or　flinch；　for　the　contestants　might　be　called　to　take　refreshments　at

a　critical　moment　in　the　contest。　　With　a　little　attention　to　it；　appropriate

games　may　be　introduced　here　that　need　not　interfere　with　luncheon。

Fully　half　an　hour　should　be　spent　at　each　set　of　tables；　where　at　the

close　of　the　meal；　some　humorous　subject　or　subjects　should　be

introduced　and　responded　to　be　those　best　fitted　for　such　a　task。

Almost　any　person　can　say　something　bright　as　well　as　sensible；　if　he

will　give　a　little　attention　to　it　beforehand。　　While　the　second　and　third

tables　are　being　served；　let　those　retiring　contest　at　games　of　skill；

converse；　or　take　up　other　appropriate　entertainment　directed　by　the

everywhere　present　entertainment　committee。　　By　this　time　half…past

ten　or　eleven　o'clock；　some　who　are　old；　or　who　have　pressing　duties

on　the　next　day　may　want　to　retire。　　If　the　serving　committee　have　been

skillful　in　adjusting　the　time　spent　at　each　table　to　the　number　of

tables；　etc。；　by　eleven　o'clock　the　serving　shall　have　been　completed。

Now；　the　young　in　spirit；　whether　old　or　young；　expect；　and　should　have

an　hour　at　the　newest；　liveliest；　and　most　recreative　games。　　No　part　of

the　evening　entertainment　should　be　allowed　to　drag。　　To　insure　this　a

frequent　change　of　social　games　is　needed。





AVOID　LATE　HOURS。



As　late　hours　tend　to　produce　irregularity　in　sleep；　in　meals；　and　in

work；　and　since　the　object　of　the　social　is　recreation；　the　company

should　retire　about　midnight。　　Oftentimes　people　stay　and　stay　at

such　a　gathering；　until　the　hostess；　the　entertaining　committee；　and

the　people　themselves　are　worn　out。　　And　yet；　who　is　at　fault？　　This

is　a　critical　point　in　the　modern　popular　social。　　How　shall　the　company

disband　in　due　season？　　In　his　〃Autocrat　of　the　Breakfast　Table；〃

Oliver　Wendell　Holmes　gives　a　suggestion　on　this　point　for　the

private　visitor；　who　does　not　know　how　to　go。　　Says　Holmes：　　〃Do

n't　you　know　how　hard　it　is　for　some　people　to　get　out　of　a　room

when　their　visit　is　really　over？　　They　want　to　be　off；　and　you　want

to　have　them　off；　but　they　do　n't　know　how　to　manage　it。　　One　would

think　they　had　been　built　in　your　parlor　or　study　and　were　waiting　to

be　launched。　　I　have　contrived　a　sort　of　ceremonial　inclined　plane　for

such　visitors；　which　being　lubricated　with　certain　smooth　phrases；　I

back　them　down；　metaphorically　speaking；　stern…foremost；　into　their

'native　element；'　the　great　ocean　of　outdoors。〃　　There　are　social　companies

as　hard　to　get　rid　of　as　this。　　They　want　to　go；　and　every　one　wants　them

to　go；　but　just　how　to　make　the　start；　no　one　seems　to　know。　　Dr。　Holmes

and　his　〃inclined　plane〃　may　have　been　successful　with　the　private　caller；

but　who　will　be　the　〃contriver　of　a　ceremonial；〃　one　sufficient　to　land　the

social　company　into　its　〃native　element；　the　great　ocean　of　outdoors？〃

No；　this　most　delicate　of　the　problems　involved　in　a　successful　modern

social　must　be　left　to　a　tactful　hint　from　the　entertainment　committee；

and　to　the　wise　choice　of　a　few　recognized　leaders　in　the　company。





NEW　COMMITTEES。



Special　committees　should　have　charge　of　the　serving　and　of　the

entertainment。　　As　far　as　possible　these　should　vary　with　each

successive　social。　　It　is　an　erroneous　notion；　prevalent　in　nearly

every　community；　that　only　〃certain　ones〃　can　do　this　or　that；　the

consequence　is　that　these　〃certain　ones〃　do　all　the　work；　are　deprived

of　the　true　rest　and　relief　which　the　social　is　meant　to　give；　while

others　who　should　take　their　turn；　grow　unappreciative；　and　weak　in

their　serving　and　entertaining　ability。





THE　AVERAGE　SOCIAL　A　FAILURE。



As　it　is　conducted　to…day；　the　average　social　is　a　failure。　　Late　at

arriving；　want　of　introductions；　lack　of　arranged　entertainment；　late

hours；all　go　to　weaken　and　to　dull　the　average　young　person　in

place　of　to　cultivate　his　wits；　his　special　genius　at　music；　reading；

and　conversation；　and　to　recreate　him　in　body；　mind；　and　spirit。　　To

make　a　success　of　the　social　gathering　some　one　must　keep　in　mind

the　personal　convenience　and　happiness　of　every　person　present。

When　this　is　done　and　the　social　gathering　becomes　notable　for　the

real　pleasure　that　it　gives；　then　we　shall　be　able　to　drive　out　the

〃questionable　amusements；〃　because　we　have　taken　nothing　from

the　person；　and　have　given　him　new　life　and　interest。







VIII。



FRIENDSHIP。



BONDS　OF　ATTACHMENT。





Each　person　is　connected　with　every　other　person　by　some　bond　of

attachment。　　It　may　be　by　the　steel　bond　of　brotherhood；　by　the

silvern　chain　of　religious　fellowship；　by　the　golden　band　of　conjugal

affection；　by　the　flaxen　cord　of　parental　or　filial　love；　or　by　the　silken

tie　of　friendship。　　One　or　more　of　these　bonds　of　attachment　may

encircle　each　person；　and　each　bond　has　its　varying　strength；　and　is

capable　of　endless　lengthening　and　contracting。　　Brotherhood　is　a

general　term；　and　as　it　is　used　here；　comprises　the　fellow…feeling　that

one　human　being　has　for　another；　this　is　universal　brotherhood。

Brotherhood　comprises　the　fellow…feeling　that　attracts　persons　of　the

same　race；　nation；　or　community；　this　is　racial；　national；　or　community

brotherhood；　also；　it　comprises　the　fellow…feeling　that　exists　between

persons　of　the　same　avocation；　calling；　or　work；　this　is　the　brotherhood

of　profession；　it　comprises　the　fellow…feeling　that　joins　persons　of　the

same　order　or　party；　this　is　the　brotherhood　of　order；　it　comprises　the

fellow…feeling　that　joins　brothers　and　sisters　of　the　same　home；　this　is

the　brotherhood　of　family。　　Religious　fellowship　includes　that　spiritual

intercourse　which　is　held　between　persons　of　the　same　religious　faith

and　practice。　　Conjugal　affection　comprises　that　feeling　of　mind　and

heart　which　unites　husband　and　wife。　　Filial　and　parental　love　exists

between　parent　and　child。　　While　friendship　comprises　that　soul　union

which　exists　between　persons　because　of　similar　desires；　tastes；　and

sentiments。　　Each　of　these　bonds　of　attachment　has　its　characteristic

mark；　its　essential　feature。　　The　essential　feature　of　universal　brotherhood

is　common　origin；　present　struggle；　and　future　hope；　the　essential　feature

of　racial；　national；　or　community　brotherhood　is　patriotism；　the　essential

feature　of　brotherhood　of　the　order　is　mutual　helpfulness；　the　essential

feature　in　brotherhood　of　the　profession　is　common　pursuit；　in　brotherhood

of　the　family；　common　parentage；　in　conjugal　affection；　attraction　for

opposite　sex；　in　parental　and　filial　love；　love　of　offspring　and　love　of

parent；　while　in　friendship　the　essential　feature　is　harmony　of　natures。





WHAT　IS　FRIENDSHIP？



No　human　relationship　can　be　more　beautiful；　nor　more　abiding　than

true　friendship。　　It　is　a　spiritual　thing；　a　communion　of　souls；　virtuously

exercised。　　How　one　is　impressed　and　pleased　to　see　another　horse　just

like　his　own；　to　see　another　dog　exactly　resembling　his　own；　to　meet　a

person　who　speaks；　looks；　and　acts　like　some　one　he　has　known。　　It　is

a　surprise；　mingled　with　mystery　and　delight。　　But　with　what　increased

surprise　and　delight　does　one　meet　with　a　〃person　after　his　own　heart。〃

All　men