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第66节

classic mystery and detective stories-第66节

小说: classic mystery and detective stories 字数: 每页4000字

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〃Piqued by her tone and look; I disavowed the existence of any

claims upon my attention; and to prove the sincerity of my words; I

persisted in addressing my attentions to her。  Once or twice I

fancied I caught flying glances; in which some of the company

criticised my conduct; and Ottilie also seemed to me unusually

quiet。  But her manner; though quiet; was untroubled and unchanged。

I talked less to her than usual; partly because I talked so much to

Agalma; and partly because I felt that Agalma's eyes were on us。

But no shadow of 'temper' or reserve darkened our interchange of

speech。



〃On our way back; I know not what devil prompted me to ask Agalma

whether she had really been in earnest in her former allusion to

'somebody。'



〃'Yes;' she said; 'I was in earnest then。'



〃'And now?'



〃'Now I have doubts。  I may have been misinformed。  It's no concern

of mine; anyway; but I had been given to understand。  However; I

admit that my own eyes have not confirmed what my ears heard。'



〃This speech was irritating on two separate grounds。  It implied

that people were talking freely of my attachment; which; until I

had formally acknowledged it; I resented as an impertinence; and it

implied that; from personal observation; Agalma doubted Ottilie's

feelings for me。  This alarmed my quick…retreating pride!  I; too;

began to doubt。  Once let loose on that field; imagination soon saw

shapes enough to confirm any doubt。  Ottilie's manner certainly had

seemed less tendernay; somewhat indifferentduring the last few

days。  Had the arrival of that heavy lout; her cousin; anything to

do with this change?



〃Not to weary you by recalling all the unfolding stages of this

miserable story with the minuteness of detail which my own memory

morbidly lingers on; I will hurry to the catastrophe。  I grew more

and more doubtful of the existence in Ottilie's mind of any feeling

stronger than friendship for me; and as this doubt strengthened;

there arose the flattering suspicion that I was becoming an object

of greater interest to Agalma; who had quite changed her tone

towards me; and had become serious in her speech and manner。  Weeks

passed。  Ottilie had fallen from her pedestal; and had taken her

place among agreeable acquaintances。  One day I suddenly learned

that Ottilie was engaged to her cousin。



〃You will not wonder that Agalma; who before this had exercised

great fascination over me; now doubly became an object of the most

tender interest。  I fell madly in love。  Hitherto I had never known

that passion。  My feeling for Ottilie I saw was but the

inarticulate stammerings of the mighty voice which now sounded

throught the depths of my nature。  The phrase; madly in love; is no

exaggeration; madness alone knows such a fever of the brain; such a

tumult of the heart。  It was not that reason was overpowered; on

the contrary; reason was intensely active; but active with that

logic of flames which lights up the vision of maniacs。



〃Although; of course; my passion was but too evident to every one;

I dreaded its premature avowal; lest I should lose her; and almost

equally dreaded delay; lest I should suffer from that also。  At

length the avowal was extorted from me by jealousy of a brilliant

PoleKorinskiwho had recently appeared in our circle; and was

obviously casting me in the shade by his superior advantages of

novelty; of personal attraction; and of a romantic history。  She

accepted me; and now; for a time; I was the happiest of mortals。

The fever of the last few weeks was abating; it gave place to a

deep tide of hopeful joy。  Could I have died then!  Could I have

even died shortly afterwards; when I knew the delicious mystery of

a jealousy not too absorbing!  For you must know that my happiness

was brief。  Jealousy; to which all passion of a deep and exacting

power is inevitably allied; soon began to disturb my content。

Agalma had no tenderness。  She permitted caresses; never returned

them。  She was ready enough to listen to all my plans for the

future; so long as the recital moved amid details of fortune and

her position in societythat is; so long as her vanity was

interested; but I began to observe with pain that her thoughts

never rested on tender domesticities and poetic anticipations。

This vexed me more and more。  The very spell which she exercised

over me made her want of tenderness more intolerable。  I yearned

for her lovefor some sympathy with the vehement passion which was

burning within me; and she was as marble。



〃You will not be surprised to hear that I reproached her bitterly

for her indifference。  That is the invariable and fatal folly of

loversthey seem to imagine that a heart can be scolded into

tenderness!  To my reproaches she at first answered impatiently

that they were unjust; that it was not her fault if her nature was

less expansive than mine; and that it was insulting to be told she

was indifferent to the man whom she had consented to marry。  Later

she answered my reproaches with haughty defiance; one day

intimating that if I really thought what I said; and repented our

engagement; it would be most prudent for us to separate ere it was

too late。  This quieted me for a while。  But it brought no balm to

my wounds。



〃And now fresh tortures were added。  Korinski became quite marked

in his attentions to Agalma。  These she received with evident

delight; so much so; that I saw by the glances of others that they

were scandalized at it; and this; of course; increased my pain。  My

renewed reproaches only made her manner colder to me; to Korinski

it became what I would gladly have seen towards myself。



〃The stress and agitation of those days were too much for me。  I

fell ill; and for seven weeks lay utterly prostrate。  On

recovering; this note was handed to me。  It was from Agalma。〃



Bourgonef here held out to me a crumpled letter; and motioned that

I should open it and read。  It ran thus:





〃I have thought much of what you have so often said; that it would

be for the happiness of both if our unfortunate engagement were set

aside。  That you have a real affection for me I believe; and be

assured that I once had a real affection for you; not; perhaps; the

passionate love which a nature so exacting as yours demands; and

which I earnestly hope it may one day find; but a genuine affection

nevertheless; which would have made me proud to share your lot。

But it would be uncandid in me to pretend that this now exists。

Your incessant jealousy; the angry feelings excited by your

reproaches; the fretful irritation in which for some time we have

lived together; has completely killed what love I had; and I no

longer feel prepared to risk the happiness of both of us by a

marriage。  What you said the other night convinces me that it is

even your desire our engagement should cease。  It is certainly

mine。  Let us try to think kindly of each other and meet again as

friends。



AGALMA LIEBENSTEIN。〃





When I had read this and returned it to him; he said:



〃You see that this was written on the day I was taken ill。  Whether

she knew that I was helpless I know not。  At any rate; she never

sent to inquire after me。  She went off to Paris; Korinski followed

her; andas I quickly learned on going once more into society

they were married!  Did you ever; in the whole course of your

experience; hear of such heartless conduct?〃



Bourgonef asked this with a ferocity which quite startled me。  I

did not answer him; for; in truth; I could not see that Agalma had

been very much to blame; even as he told the story; and felt sure

that could I have heard her version it would have worn a very

different aspect。  That she was cold; and disappointed him; might

be true enough; but there was no crime; and I perfectly understood

how thoroughly odious he must have made himself to her by his

exactions and reproaches。  I understood this; perhaps; all the

better; because in the course of his narrative Bourgonef had

revealed to me aspects of his nature which were somewhat repulsive。

Especially was I struck with his morbid vanity; and his readiness

to impute low motives to others。  This unpleasant view of his

charactera character in many respects so admirable for its

generosity and refinementwas deepened as he went on; instead of

awaiting my reply to his question。



〃For a wrong so measureless; you will naturally ask what

measureless revenge I sought。〃



The idea had not occurred to me; indeed I could see no wrong; and

this notion of revenge was somewhat startling in such a case。



〃I debated it long;〃 he continued。  〃I felt that since I was

prevented from arresting any of the evil to myself; I could at

least mature my plans for an adequate discharge of just

retributions on her。  It reveals the impotence resulting from the

trammels of modern civilization; that while the possibilities of

wrong are infinite; the openings for

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