classic mystery and detective stories-第64节

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the　time；　but　went　up　to　my　room　and　began　writing　my　letters；　one

of　which　was　to　my　lawyer；　sending　him　an　important　receipt。　　The

dinner…bell　sounded　before　I　had　half　finished　this　letter；　but　I

wrote　on；　determined　to　have　done　with　it　at　once；　in　case　the

afternoon　should　offer　any　expedition　with　Bourgonef。



At　dinner　he　quietly　intimated　that　Ivan　had　informed　him　of　my

visit；　and　apologized　for　not　having　been　able　to　see　me。　　I；　of

course；　assured　him　that　no　apology　was　necessary；　and　that　we　had

plenty　of　time　to　visit　sculpture　together　without　intruding　on　his

private　hours。　　He　informed　me　that　he　was　that　afternoon　going　to

pay　a　visit　to　Schwanthaler；　the　sculptor；　and　if　I　desired　it；　he

would　ask　permission　on　another　occasion　to　take　me　with　him。　　I

jumped　at　the　proposal；　as　may　be　supposed。



Dinner　over；　I　strolled　into　the　Englische　Garten；　and　had　my

coffee　and　cigar　there。　　On　my　return　I　was　vexed　to　find　that　in

the　hurry　of　finishing　my　letters　I　had　sealed　the　one　to　my

lawyer；　and　had　not　enclosed　the　receipt　which　had　been　the　object

of　writing。　　Fortunately　it　was　not　too　late。　　Descending　to　the

bureau　of　the　hotel；　I　explained　my　mistake　to　the　head…waiter；　who

unlocked　the　letter…box　to　search　for　my　letter。　　It　was　found　at

once；　for　there　were　only　seven　or　eight　in　the　box。　　Among　these

my　eye　naturally　caught　the　three　pink　letters　which　I　had　that

morning　seen　Ivan　drop　into　the　box；　but　although　they　were　SEEN　by

me　they　were　not　NOTICED　at　the　time；　my　mind　being　solely　occupied

with　rectifying　the　stupid　blunder　I　had　made。



Once　more　in　my　own　room　a　sudden　revelation　startled　me。　　Everyone

knows　what　it　is　to　have　details　come　under　the　eye　which　the　mind

first　interprets　long　after　the　eye　ceases　to　rest　upon　them。　　The

impressions　are　received　passively；　but　they　are　registered；　and

can　be　calmly　read　whenever　the　mind　is　in　activity。　　It　was　so

now。　　I　suddenly；　as　if　now　for　the　first　time；　saw　that　the

addresses　on　Bourgonef's　letters　were　written　in　a　fluent；　masterly

hand；　bold　in　character；　and　with　a　certain　sweep　which　might　have

come　from　a　painter。　　The　thrill　which　this　vision　gave　will　be

intelligible　when　you　remember　that　Bourgonef　had　lost　or　pretended

to　have　lost　his　right　arm；　and　was；　as　I　before　intimated；　far

from　dexterous　with　his　left。　　That　no　man　recently　thrown　upon　the

use　of　a　left　hand　could　have　written　those　addresses　was　too

evident。　　What；　then；　was　the　alternative？　　The　empty　sleeve　was　an

imposture！　　At　once　the　old　horrible　suspicion　returned；　and　this

time　with　tenfold　violence；　and　with　damnatory　confirmation。



Pressing　my　temples　between　my　hands；　I　tried　to　be　calm　and　to

survey　the　evidence　without　precipitation；　but　for　some　time　the

conflict　of　thoughts　was　too　violent。　　Whatever　might　be　the

explanation；　clear　it　was　that　Bourgonef；　for　some　purposes；　was

practising　a　deception；　and　had；　as　I　knew；　other　means　of

disguising　his　appearance。　　This；　on　the　most　favorable

interpretation；　branded　him　with　suspicion。　　This　excluded　him　from

the　circle　of　honest　men。



But　did　it　connect　him　with　the　murder　of　Lieschen　Lehfeldt？　　In　my

thought　it　did　so　indubitably；　but　I　was　aware　of　the　difficulty　of

making　this　clear　to　anyone　else。





VI



FIRST　LOVE





If　the　reader　feels　that　my　suspicions　were　not　wholly　unwarranted；

were　indeed　inevitable；　he　will　not　laugh　at　me　on　learning　that

once　more　these　suspicions　were　set　aside；　and　the　factthe

damnatory　fact；　as　I　regarded　itdiscovered　by　me　so　accidentally；

and；　I　thought；　providentially；　was　robbed　of　all　its　significance

by　Bourgonef　himself　casually　and　carelessly　avowing　it　in

conversation；　just　as　one　may　avow　a　secret　infirmity；　with　some

bitterness；　but　without　any　implication　of　deceit　in　its

concealment。



I　was　the　more　prepared　for　this　revulsion　of　feeling；　by　the

difficulty　I　felt　in　maintaining　my　suspicions　in　the　presence　of

one　so　gentle　and　so　refined。　　He　had　come　into　my　room　that

evening　to　tell　me　of　his　visit　to　Schwanthaler；　and　of　the

sculptor's　flattering　desire　to　make　my　personal　acquaintance。　　He

spoke　of　Schwanthaler；　and　his　earnest　efforts　in　art；　with　so　much

enthusiasm；　and　was　altogether　so　charming；　that　I　felt　abashed

before　him；　incapable　of　ridding　myself　of　the　dreadful　suspicions；

yet　incapable　of　firmly　believing　him　to　be　what　I　thought。　　But

more　than　this；　there　came　the　new　interest　awakened　in　me　by　his

story；　and　when；　in　the　course　of　his　story；　he　accidentally

disclosed　the　fact　that　he　had　not　lost　his　arm；　all　my　suspicions

vanished　at　once。



We　had　got；　as　usual；　upon　politics；　and　were　differing　more　than

usual；　because　he　gave　greater　prominence　to　his　sympathy　with　the

Red　Republicans。　　He　accused　me　of　not　being　〃thorough…going；〃

which　I　admitted。　　This　he　attributed　to　the　fact　of　my　giving　a

divided　heart　to　politicsa　condition　natural　enough　at　my　age；

and　with　my　hopes。　　〃Well；〃　said　I；　laughing；　〃you　don't　mean　to

take　a　lofty　stand　upon　your　few　years'　seniority。　　If　my　age

renders　it　natural；　does　yours　profoundly　alter　such　a　conviction？〃



〃My　age；　no。　　But　you　have　the　hopes　of　youth。　　I　have　none。　　I　am

banished　for　ever　from　the　joys　and　sorrows　of　domestic　life；　and

therefore；　to　live　at　all；　must　consecrate　my　soul　to　great

abstractions　and　public　affairs。〃



〃But　why　banished；　unless　self…banished？〃



〃Woman's　love　is　impossible。　　You　look　incredulous。　　I　do　not

allude　to　this；〃　he　said；　taking　up　the　empty　sleeve；　and　by　so

doing　sending　a　shiver　through　me。



〃The　loss　of　your　arm；〃　I　saidand　my　voice　trembled　slightly；　for

I　felt　that　a　crisis　was　at　hand〃although　a　misfortune　to　you；

would　really　be　an　advantage　in　gaining　a　woman's　affections。

Women　are　so　romantic；　and　their　imaginations　are　so　easily

touched！〃



〃Yes；〃　he　replied　bitterly；　〃but　the　trouble　is　that　I　have　not

lost　my　arm。〃



I　started。　　He　spoke　bitterly；　yet　calmly。　　I　awaited　his

explanation　in　great　suspense。



〃To　have　lost　my　arm　in　battle；　or　even　by　an　accident；　would

perhaps　have　lent　me　a　charm　in　woman's　eyes。　　But；　as　I　said；　my

arm　hangs　by　my　sidewithered；　unpresentable。〃



I　breathed　again。　　He　continued　in　the　same　tone；　and　without

noticing　my　looks。



〃But　it　is　not　this　which　banishes　me。　　Woman's　love　might　be　hoped

for；　had　I　far　worse　infirmities。　　The　cause　lies　deeper。　　It　lies

in　my　history。　　A　wall　of　granite　has　grown　up　between　me　and　the

sex。〃



〃But；　my　dear　fellow；　do　youwounded；　as　I　presume　to　guess；　by

some　unworthy　womanextend　the　fault　of　one　to　the　whole　sex？　　Do

you　despair　of　finding　another　true；　because　a　first　was　false？〃



〃They　are　all　false；〃　he　exclaimed　with　energy。　　〃Not；　perhaps；　all

false　from　inherent　viciousness；　though　many　are　that；　but　false

because　their　inherent　weakness　renders　them　incapable　of　truth。

Oh！　I　know　the　catalogue　of　their　good　qualities。　　They　are　often


pitiful；　self…devoting；　generous；　but　they　are　so　by　fits　and

starts；　just　as　they　are　cruel；　remorseless；　exacting；　by　fits　and

starts。　　They　have　no　constancythey　are　too　weak　to　be　constant

even　in　evil；　their　minds　are　all　impressions；　their　actions　are

all　the　issue　of　immediate　promptings。　　Swayed　by　the　fleeting

impulses　of　the　hour；　they　have　only　one　persistent；　calculable

motive　on　which　reliance　can　always　be　placedthat　motive　is

vanity；　you　are　always　sure　of　them　there。　　It　is　from　vanity　they

are　goodfrom　vanity　they　are　evil；　their　devotion　and　their

desertion　equally　vanity。　　I　know　them。　　To　me　they　have　disclosed

the　shallows　of　their　natures。　　God！　how　I　have　suffered　from

them！〃



A　deep；　low　exclamation；　half　sob；　half　curse；　closed　his　tirade。

He　remained　silent　for　a　few　minutes；　looking　on　the　floor；　then；

suddenly　turning　his　eyes　upon　me；　said：



〃Were　you　ever　in　Heidelberg？〃



〃Never。〃



〃I　thought　all　your　countrymen　went　there？　　Then　you　will　never

have　heard　anything　of　my　story。　　Shall　I　tell　you　how　my　youth　was

blighted？　　Will　you　care　to　listen？〃



〃It　would　interest　me　much。〃



〃I　had　reached　the　age　of　seven…and…twenty；〃　he　began；　〃without

having　once　known　even　the　vague　stirrings　of　the　passion　of　love。

I　admired　many　women；　and　courted　the　admiration　of　them　all；　but　I

was　as　yet　not　only　heart…whole；　but；　to　use　your　Shakespeare's

phrase；　Cupid　had　not　tapped　me　on　the　shoulder。



〃This　detail　is　not　unimportant　in　my　story。　　You　may　possibly　have

observed　that　in　those　passionate　natures　which　reserve　their

force；　and　do　not　fritter　away　their　feelings　in　scattered

flirtations　or　trivial　love…affairs；　there　is　a　velocity　and

momentum；　when　the　movement　of　passion　is　once　excited；　greatly

transcending　all　that　is　ever　felt　by　expansive　and　expressive

natures。　　Slow　to　be　moved；　when　they　do　m