the secret sharer-第4节

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he　continued；　so　low　that　I　had　to　strain　my　hearing　near

as　we　were　to　each　other；　shoulder　touching　shoulder　almost。

〃So　I　asked　to　speak　to　the　old　man。　　He　always　seemed

very　sick　when　he　came　to　see　meas　if　he　could　not　look

me　in　the　face。　　You　know；　that　foresail　saved　the　ship。

She　was　too　deep　to　have　run　long　under　bare　poles。

And　it　was　I　that　managed　to　set　it　for　him。　　Anyway；　he　came。

When　I　had　him　in　my　cabinhe　stood　by　the　door　looking

at　me　as　if　I　had　the　halter　round　my　neck　already

I　asked　him　right　away　to　leave　my　cabin　door　unlocked

at　night　while　the　ship　was　going　through　Sunda　Straits。

There　would　be　the　Java　coast　within　two　or　three　miles；

off　Angier　Point。　　I　wanted　nothing　more。　　I've　had　a　prize

for　swimming　my　second　year　in　the　Conway。〃



〃I　can　believe　it；〃　I　breathed　out。



〃God　only　knows　why　they　locked　me　in　every　night。

To　see　some　of　their　faces　you'd　have　thought　they

were　afraid　I'd　go　about　at　night　strangling　people。

Am　I　a　murdering　brute？　　Do　I　look　it？　　By　Jove！　　If　I　had　been

he　wouldn't　have　trusted　himself　like　that　into　my　room。

You'll　say　I　might　have　chucked　him　aside　and　bolted　out；

there　and　thenit　was　dark　already。　　Well；　no。　　And　for

the　same　reason　I　wouldn't　think　of　trying　to　smash　the　door。

There　would　have　been　a　rush　to　stop　me　at　the　noise；

and　I　did　not　mean　to　get　into　a　confounded　scrimmage。

Somebody　else　might　have　got　killedfor　I　would　not　have

broken　out　only　to　get　chucked　back；　and　I　did　not　want　any

more　of　that　work。　　He　refused；　looking　more　sick　than　ever。

He　was　afraid　of　the　men；　and　also　of　that　old　second　mate　of　his

who　had　been　sailing　with　him　for　yearsa　gray…headed　old　humbug；

and　his　steward；　too；　had　been　with　him　devil　knows　how　long

seventeen　years　or　morea　dogmatic　sort　of　loafer　who　hated

me　like　poison；　just　because　I　was　the　chief　mate。　　No　chief

mate　ever　made　more　than　one　voyage　in　the　Sephora；　you　know。

Those　two　old　chaps　ran　the　ship。　　Devil　only　knows　what　the　skipper

wasn't　afraid　of　（all　his　nerve　went　to　pieces　altogether

in　that　hellish　spell　of　bad　weather　we　had）of　what　the　law

would　do　to　himof　his　wife；　perhaps。　　Oh；　yes！　she's　on　board。

Though　I　don't　think　she　would　have　meddled。　　She　would　have

been　only　too　glad　to　have　me　out　of　the　ship　in　any　way。

The　‘brand　of　Cain'　business；　don't　you　see。　　That's　all　right。

I　was　ready　enough　to　go　off　wandering　on　the　face　of　the　earth

and　that　was　price　enough　to　pay　for　an　Abel　of　that　sort。

Anyhow；　he　wouldn't　listen　to　me。　　'This　thing　must　take　its　course。

I　represent　the　law　here。'　　He　was　shaking　like　a　leaf。

‘So　you　won't？'　‘No！'　'Then　I　hope　you　will　be　able　to　sleep　on　that；'

I　said；　and　turned　my　back　on　him。　　‘I　wonder　that　you　can；'

cries　he；　and　locks　the　door。



〃Well　after　that；　I　couldn't。　Not　very　well。

That　was　three　weeks　ago。　　We　have　had　a　slow　passage

through　the　Java　Sea；　drifted　about　Carimata　for　ten　days。

When　we　anchored　here　they　thought；　I　suppose；　it　was　all　right。

The　nearest　land　（and　that's　five　miles）　is　the　ship's　destination；

the　consul　would　soon　set　about　catching　me；　and　there　would

have　been　no　object　in　bolding　to　these　islets　there。

I　don't　suppose　there's　a　drop　of　water　on　them。　　I　don't　know

how　it　was；　but　tonight　that　steward；　after　bringing　me　my　supper；

went　out　to　let　me　eat　it；　and　left　the　door　unlocked。

And　I　ate　itall　there　was；　too。　　After　I　had　finished　I　strolled

out　on　the　quarter…deck。　I　don't　know　that　I　meant　to　do　anything。

A　breath　of　fresh　air　was　all　I　wanted；　I　believe。

Then　a　sudden　temptation　came　over　me。　　I　kicked　off　my　slippers

and　was　in　the　water　before　I　had　made　up　my　mind　fairly。

Somebody　heard　the　splash　and　they　raised　an　awful　hullabaloo。

‘He's　gone！　　Lower　the　boats！　　He's　committed　suicide！

No；　he's　swimming。'　　Certainly　I　was　swimming。　　It's　not

so　easy　for　a　swimmer　like　me　to　commit　suicide　by　drowning。

I　landed　on　the　nearest　islet　before　the　boat　left　the　ship's　side。

I　heard　them　pulling　about　in　the　dark；　hailing；　and　so　on；　but　after

a　bit　they　gave　up。　　Everything　quieted　down　and　the　anchorage

became　still　as　death。　　I　sat　down　on　a　stone　and　began　to　think。

I　felt　certain　they　would　start　searching　for　me　at　daylight。

There　was　no　place　to　hide　on　those　stony　things

and　if　there　had　been；　what　would　have　been　the　good？

But　now　I　was　clear　of　that　ship；　I　was　not　going　back。

So　after　a　while　I　took　off　all　my　clothes；　tied　them　up　in　a

bundle　with　a　stone　inside；　and　dropped　them　in　the　deep　water

on　the　outer　side　of　that　islet。　　That　was　suicide　enough　for　me。

Let　them　think　what　they　liked；　but　I　didn't　mean　to　drown　myself。

I　meant　to　swim　till　I　sankbut　that's　not　the　same　thing。

I　struck　out　for　another　of　these　little　islands；　and　it

was　from　that　one　that　I　first　saw　your　riding　light。

Something　to　swim　for。　　I　went　on　easily；　and　on　the　way　I　came

upon　a　flat　rock　a　foot　or　two　above　water。　　In　the　daytime；

I　dare　say；　you　might　make　it　out　with　a　glass　from　your　poop。

I　scrambled　up　on　it　and　rested　myself　for　a　bit。

Then　I　made　another　start。　　That　last　spell　must　have　been

over　a　mile。〃



His　whisper　was　getting　fainter　and　fainter；　and　all　the　time

he　stared　straight　out　through　the　porthole；　in　which　there

was　not　even　a　star　to　be　seen。　　I　had　not　interrupted　him。

There　was　something　that　made　comment　impossible　in　his　narrative；

or　perhaps　in　himself；　a　sort　of　feeling；　a　quality；　which　I　can't　find

a　name　for。　　And　when　he　ceased；　all　I　found　was　a　futile　whisper：

〃So　you　swam　for　our　light？〃



〃Yesstraight　for　it。　　It　was　something　to　swim　for。

I　couldn't　see　any　stars　low　down　because　the　coast　was　in　the　way；

and　I　couldn't　see　the　land；　either。　　The　water　was　like　glass。

One　might　have　been　swimming　in　a　confounded　thousand…feet　deep

cistern　with　no　place　for　scrambling　out　anywhere；　but　what　I　didn't

like　was　the　notion　of　swimming　round　and　round　like　a　crazed

bullock　before　I　gave　out；　and　as　I　didn't　mean　to　go　back。

。　。　No。　Do　you　see　me　being　hauled　back；　stark　naked；

off　one　of　these　little　islands　by　the　scruff　of　the　neck

and　fighting　like　a　wild　beast？　　Somebody　would　have　got　killed

for　certain；　and　I　did　not　want　any　of　that。　　So　I　went　on。

Then　your　ladder〃



〃Why　didn't　you　hail　the　ship？〃　　I　asked；　a　little　louder。



He　touched　my　shoulder　lightly。　　Lazy　footsteps　came　right　over　our　heads

and　stopped。　　The　second　mate　had　crossed　from　the　other　side　of　the　poop

and　might　have　been　hanging　over　the　rail　for　all　we　knew。



〃He　couldn't　hear　us　talkingcould　he？〃　　My　double　breathed

into　my　very　ear；　anxiously。



His　anxiety　was　in　answer；　a　sufficient　answer；　to　the　question

I　had　put　to　him。　　An　answer　containing　all　the　difficulty

of　that　situation。　　I　closed　the　porthole　quietly；　to　make　sure。

A　louder　word　might　have　been　overheard。



〃Who's　that？〃　he　whispered　then。



〃My　second　mate。　　But　I　don't　know　much　more　of　the　fellow　than　you　do。〃



And　I　told　him　a　little　about　myself。　　I　had　been　appointed　to　take

charge　while　I　least　expected　anything　of　the　sort；　not　quite

a　fortnight　ago。　　I　didn't　know　either　the　ship　or　the　people。

Hadn't　had　the　time　in　port　to　look　about　me　or　size　anybody　up。

And　as　to　the　crew；　all　they　knew　was　that　I　was　appointed　to　take

the　ship　home。　　For　the　rest；　I　was　almost　as　much　of　a　stranger　on

board　as　himself；　I　said。　　And　at　the　moment　I　felt　it　most　acutely。

I　felt　that　it　would　take　very　little　to　make　me　a　suspect　person

in　the　eyes　of　the　ship's　company。



He　had　turned　about　meantime；　and　we；　the　two　strangers　in　the　ship；

faced　each　other　in　identical　attitudes。



〃Your　ladder〃　he　murmured；　after　a　silence。　　〃Who'd　have　thought

of　finding　a　ladder　hanging　over　at　night　in　a　ship　anchored　out　here！

I　felt　just　then　a　very　unpleasant　faintness。　　After　the　life　I've

been　leading　for　nine　weeks；　anybody　would　have　got　out　of　condition。

I　wasn't　capable　of　swimming　round　as　far　as　your　rudder　chains。

And；　lo　and　behold！　there　was　a　ladder　to　get　hold　of。

After　I　gripped　it　I　said　to　myself；　‘What's　the　good？'

When　I　saw　a　man's　head　looking　over　I　thought　I　would　swim　away

presently　and　leave　him　shoutingin　whatever　language　it　was。

I　didn't　mind　being　looked　at。　　II　liked　it。　　And　then　you　speaking　to　me

so　quietlyas　if　you　had　expected　memade　me　hold　on　a　little　longer。

It　had　been　a　confounded　lonely　timeI　don't　mean　while　swimming。

I　was　glad　to　talk　a　little　to　somebody　that　didn't　belong　to　the　Sephora。

As　to　asking　for　the　captain；　that　was　a　mere　impulse。　　It　could

have　been　no　use；　with　all　the　ship　knowing　about　me　and　the　other

people　pretty　certain　to　be　round　here　in　the　morning。　　I　don't　know

I　wanted　to　be　seen；　to　talk　with　somebody；　before　I　went　on。

I　don't　know　what　I　would　have　said。　　。　。　。　‘Fine　night；　isn't　it？'

or　something　of　the　sort